Have you ever been told there was something you couldn't do, and then proven them wrong?

Chapter 13
***

The hall felt gapingly empty without jostling occupants. A few wolves lingered, those who couldn’t join the rest for meals because of various duties, but most everyone else had headed to bed. It had been a good night. My cheeks hurt from smiling and laughing with Fionnlagh and his friends, Mother had left looking at ease and relaxed, kissing my cheek and fussing over my hair before going to bed herself. Father ate well, as did I for once. For the first time, I felt almost at home. Even Mother’s friends had bid me goodnight with touches to my arm and promises of seeing me tomorrow.

Head propped on my hand, my fingers absentmindedly traced the bumps and ridges of my mug as my eyes trailed along the rafters. Maybe in a few more weeks, I’d forget how much I hated being inside.

“You are too young to remember,” Father said, drawing me gaze to him. He smiled but his gaze was far off, head tilted thoughtfully. “But one of the last gatherings we attended was in a hall much like this. Every couple of years, we would go and discuss good hunting ground with other packs, young unmated wolves would sniff around for potential partners, and much gossip was shared. It was during one of the worst winters I can remember. The blizzards lasted days, and the snow was so frozen they could cut through fur and skin. It slowed us down, and you were only young for having to travel so far in such conditions. You spent much of our journey yapping and whining.”

He chuckled as I ducked my head in embarrassment, leaning back at ease now he was in the swing of storytelling.

“Mànas was the only one in the pack who wasn’t beyond frustrated trying to keep you moving. He even offered to carry you in skin but he would have frozen solid in a matter of minutes. When we eventually arrived, you slept a full night and into the middle sun of the next day. There were so many wolves that year, almost like many knew it would be the last time , no where near as many as there are here, but that was the most I’d ever seen at once at the time. Oighrig told fortunes, your mother sang, my brother and I drank too much mead. Talk of Blood Drinkers was but a quiet rumour then, whispers from across the sea. . .”

His smile turned to a frown, so before he could forget the sweetness in what he was saying, I said, “I’m glad this place brings you happy memories.”

They were memories I wished I had.

He smiled again, reaching across the table to take my hand. “We will all run together again, one day. In bright filled meadows watched over by Hel, daughter of Loki. Or in Tir Na Nog, with The Morrigan. . .to keep your mother happy.”

He winked.

That was what I dreamt of after all; running with Mànas, Uncle Aonghas and nameless others through flowers and long grass, following trails of deer, boar, and other delectables. I would be happy if that was what waited for us. If I even still believed in such a thing. It was hard to.

 A yawn forced my jaw apart, and though Father resisted eye contact, it got to him to. He hid his behind his hand, rubbing watering eyes, but I could see he was in need of rest. He was still healing, and I doubted Eirny would be happy to see him still up so late.

“You don’t have to stay,” I murmured.

“I don’t want to leave you alone.”

Laughing gently, I motioned to the wolves around us. “I’m not alone. Go, before you’re so tired you need me to help you to bed.”

He chuffed in return, looking towards the head table where Alpha Hati sat still surrounded by highranked and, I assumed, other council members. The group were intently looking over a piece of parchment on the table before them, and whatever they discussed, they were careful to keep their voices low enough nobody could listen in. A talent around so many sharp-eared beings.

“Maybe you’re right,” Father said at length, rising stiffly from the table. “If I stay much longer, your mother will come looking for me.”

It was as if his movement drew Alpha Hati’s attention to the fact I remained here waiting. He stood from his bench, and those around him suddenly began to disperse. I knew he was coming this way as soon as he took his first step, and I also knew Father wouldn’t leave without the chance of finally meeting our new Alpha. I darted over to stand at his side, eyeing Beta Caldar and Gerlac trailing after Alpha Hati.

The male himself was putting on a show, his chin level, head straight and gait full of authority. Heads bowed as he passed, but to my father’s credit, he held himself tall and only bared his neck enough to satisfy an initial greeting.

“Alpha Hati, it is an honour to finally meet you. My family have told of your generosity; I owe you a great debt for taking us in, and saving my life.”

It hurt to see Father submit to another. Even if he’d only been my Alpha for a matter of days, he would always be the male I looked up to and respected above all others.

If the Alpha noticed the unintentional look I cast his way, he didn’t say. He smiled at my Father, and gripped the arm he held out, the two males accepting each other cheek to cheek. Alpha Hati took a deep inhale of his scent and drew back slowly, a pinch to his brow.

Father’s gaze darted away then back to Alpha Hati. As if he’d been caught. They shared a long look, an entire conversation passing between them without need of a word. Shifting on my feet, I bit back a demand to know what was going on.

“It is an honour to have you here, Tabhin. The only thing I ask for the debt to be repaid is loyalty, and I will give you as much in return.” Alpha Hati was silent a moment before adding more quietly, “I believe you and I might be due a conversation soon. There is much about your travels and circumstances that I wish to know.”

“Why?” I asked, scrutinising the defeated look on my sire's face but my interruption was blatantly ignored by all.

“Of course,” Father agreed, the nervous edge to his tone making further worry coil in my stomach. Straightening again, he took a step back and bowed his head. “I will let you get on with your evening. Please don’t keep my female up too late.”

Alpha Hati chuckled, but there was a tension in his stance he couldn’t hide. “She will be in bed before the midnight hour, I can promise you.”

With one last comforting squeeze of my hand, Father pressed a kiss to my cheek then left me alone with three equally unhappy looking males. Was my father also on Alpha Hati’s watch? If so, why? What was it about us that made him frown in such a way?

It wasn’t until Alpha Hati quirked a brow at me, that I realised I’d been staring. I jolted and danced out of the way to allow him to pass, glaring at the back of his head as he moved on with a chuckle. I allowed Beta Caldar to pass too, but when Gerlac took a step, I wanted to cut in front. He must have sensed it. Lips pulled back, he dared me to do just that.

While I may not have liked the male, I had to respect him. For one as tame as him to have climbed so high in the ranks, it had to do with more than any money or influence he had with mortals.

Left to trail behind, my position was quite clear. Through the halls we wandered, and I damned them all when we reached the doors that led to the courtyard.

Already I could feel the chill wind that howled outside, causing torches to flutter violently. Thankfully, their pace was quick as we traipsed across the shadowed and snow-covered cobbles where only those on night-watch dared linger. Once more, I was led inside the small hall where I’d first come face to face with the infamous Alpha of the North.

The wooden throne still sat in the middle of the long table stretching the span of the room, and with the torches lining the wall lit this time, I could make out the wolves heads that had been carved into each arm. Other things were twined into the design, and I wanted to sneak closer to see, but three sets of eyes stopped me from moving.

“Beta Caldar and Gerlac are here as witnesses,” Alpha Hati said, looking at each male in turn. “And I believe Gerlac wishes to speak out against your joining the council so I will allow him to plead his case here, in front of you, so you may defend yourself.”

My lip curled as I turned my gaze back to Gerlac. So our earlier interaction hadn’t fazed him at all. It shouldn’t have surprised me one bit that he’d gone running off to try and get me replaced instead of making a challenge to me directly. Such a sneaky thing to do. Such a human thing. If Beta Caldar hadn’t already told me Ingrid’s family had long been living amongst humans, I would have figured it out myself in that moment.

Well, I wouldn’t back down. And if I had to learn to fight with words instead of fang and claw, I would master it as well as any of them.

“Is it he or Ingrid who has a problem with me,” I asked, surprised by the wolven reaction of a snarl from Gerlac, though his hand fell to the hilt of his sword in a way that made my own growl sound out. “It’s common knowledge that I was chosen to sit on council. My father doesn’t want it which he voiced to both Gerlac and Ingrid tonight. So whether Gerlac believed my father would take over or not before then, if he truly had a problem with me, why did he not speak up before? Unless he needed to be persuaded to.”

Beta Caldar folded his arms and appeared to be smirking at the ground, and I couldn’t tell why. Anxiety warned me it was because I was making a fool of myself. Especially as I’d all but admitted that I did want the position when I myself had to be persuaded. Not any longer. In fact, being challenged now made me realise just how much I truly wanted to continue speaking for my pack. For anyone who might feel unheard here. Unfortunately, anger often caused my mouth to open before I could think on what I was going to say.

“My female might be in agreement with me, but I am not swayed by her,” Gerlac seethed. “Our opinions on why you’re not suitable are not even the same. Ingrid views the world differently from many here, she will learn.”

I sniffed and folded my arms. “Very well. I’m aware of why Ingrid thinks less of me, so why do you? Because I’m female?”

“I do not care that you are female.”

“Then why?” I demanded, a roughness to my tone that made the watching Alpha and Beta move out of my way.

Gerlac scoffed at my approach, as if I was missing something obvious. “You do not understand politics for one. We have to deal with human nobility because hunting alone is not enough to sustain the number of mouths to feed here. For another, you are a child, a pup, inexperienced. What do you know of the world or what it takes to lead a pack? What do you know of deciding which sacrifices to make, battle and defence tactics, or which wolves to trust, how to deal with disputes and rivalries that could bring everything down on our heads?”

My hands fisted by my sides but I didn’t even get the chance to defend myself before Beta Caldar let out his own sound of disapproval. “If you have heard only the gossip about her, and not the story of how she saved her pack, you have not been listening. She’s dealt with humans on her travels, so she is not completely ignorant to that. And if you think even with her father on his feet that her family do not look to her for leadership, you have not been watching closely enough. She knows more of the world than many who have lived in luxury until now.”

Gerlac and I were as surprised as each other as the usually quiet male spoke up for me. I thought I’d turned him against me after our trip to the border, but perhaps he was more forgiving than he let on. I could admire his attempt to save face with me, and still be willing to speak on my behalf.

“Indeed,” Alpha Hati agreed. “If she didn’t influence them so much, I fear I’d have had to put Fionnlagh in his place. The male openly bore his teeth, and then was suddenly agreeing to let me teach him a new way of fighting. I doubt he’d have let me without his cousin’s approval. She says her father openly refused the position to you, therefore he too believes Eabha is a good choice. We need someone from the South of the council. Caldar can not sit while he holds the title of Beta.”

“Be that as it may, she is still but a whelp who doesn’t understand beyond the toils of a family pack living in the wild in the South!”

That stung. Bitterness coated my tongue, a flash of red in my vision testing my control. I had to dig my nails into my palm to keep me centred and stop the wolf from tearing through skin. I was tempted it to settle it that way, and somehow I knew if I chose to, nobody would stop me. Whether I’d win or not, was another question. Here however, while I was still uncertain being forced to learn the art of debate so quickly, I believed I might have the upper hand.

“We have others in the council who never had to play their hand at human politics too, Gerlac. You forget your place. As we all must do when we come face to face with something new, we learn. She is more than capable.” Alpha Hati tipped his head and assessed Gerlac with a cunning smile. “Under your own instruction, if that would make you feel more at ease. For you know much about how to play the game, if you pass on such knowledge, she might become quite formidable.”

A clever tactic, playing at the male’s ego. A muscle in Gerlac’s cheek twitched as if it took great physical effort not to immediately decline and risk his pride. Then something flashed in steel eyes, his expression sharpening. He had one last dice to throw.

“You will upset Ingrid if you go through with this,” he warned in a hushed whisper, as if I couldn’t hear, and didn’t already know about the deal between the council and Alpha Hati.

Knowing well the Alpha’s temper, both Beta Caldar and I stepped back when he rounded on the shorter male, his muscled frame growing in the flickering orange of the sconces around us. For a moment, I thought I might see yet another fight, but wasn’t too shocked when Gerlac quickly simpered. His head fell forward and hands flew behind his back, away from the weapon at his hip.

“I do not make decisions based on what will or won’t upset one female.” Alpha Hati shook his head at his subordinate, making sure he felt the full extent of his power which beat against me and caused my body to thrum with the energy. Lowering his voice, he leaned in close enough I was sure Gerlac could feel his breath on his skin. “Ingrid needs to keep in mind that our agreement is not yet fulfilled. If using her father’s position and fanning flames to rumours to keep a female down is how she chooses to act, then perhaps I was rushed in my decision to humour the idea.”

So Beta Caldar hadn’t told me everything. I wondered what bargain had been struck to have Ingrid at the top of the line of females for Alpha Hati to take as a mate. The very practice made me feel sick. While I understood the need to forge alliances in situations such as these, it was still a foreign and unseemly concept to me. Mates were chosen in my culture. Potential partners met at the old gatherings father had spoken of to keep bloodlines mixed, in the wild when we mingled with others to hunt bigger prey, some wolves even left their packs to search out a mate.

I always thought I might do that, leave for a while to travel further to the Eastern Coast, and if I happened upon a male then very well. That would not be my fate now, but I would be damned if my mate were to be picked out for me. At the same time, while I understood being a member of the council didn’t put me amongst the highranked, it would give me position. Maybe my mating would have to become a tool to bind the pack tighter together. Maybe that was one of the sacrifices Gerlac spoke of, and I couldn’t prove him right about me.

My chest ached at the idea of giving up that freedom, and I turned away to clear my throat and compose myself, flinching when Beta Caldar’s dark eyes met mine. He tipped his head in his usual way of asking if I was alright, and I nodded stiffly in return. Shaking out my arms by my side, I spun back around and looked Gerlac in the eye.

“I will listen to your every word,” I said begrudgingly, unwilling to lower myself. “Treat me with respect, and I will give you the same. I promise you, I will be the best student you will ever have. I want to learn. I want to help. And I don’t doubt there is much you can teach me.”

Flattery hadn’t been anything I’d tried my hand at before, and the contrition in my tone sounded forced to my ear, though the male it was directed at flourished under it. He lifted his chin and sniffed, considering me a moment before addressing Alpha Hati instead of me, “If I feel she is not succeeding?”

“Then you will explain to me exactly why you feel that way, and I will decide for myself whether I agree.”

My lips tugged up at the corners, my gaze ducking down as Alpha Hati made his last stand for me. When Gerlac said nothing else, the atmosphere relaxed somewhat.

“Any further arguments?”

Gerlac shook his head, and our eyes met. My new teacher studied me carefully, and in that moment, I knew if I made one wrong step with him, I would make an enemy. And I wasn’t sure if my new position would be enough protection. Gerlac had a other point too, Ingrid would not be happy. While she may not be able to make a move against her Alpha and possible future mate, she could against me. In ways I wouldn’t even see coming, because what did I know of how human ladies in courts of Kings got their revenge.

“Very well.” Alpha Hati smiled but it was strained and, his expression was pensive. “Let’s get on with proceedings and we can all get to bed. I want everyone bright eyed at the meeting, there is much to discuss.”

My eyes widened as I caught the glint of a knife passing from Beta Caldar’s hand to Alpha Hati’s. The handle was of pale antler, darker brown towards the end where it curved into two points, the blade glinting in the firelight. I’d used a knife only a handful of times before my family never kept such tools. They were impossible to carry in fur, and there was always a way of doing things that didn’t require human objects.

“Do not fear me, Eabha. It is part of the tradition, to accept you onto my council. Blood is shed to represent sacrifice, and shared to represent loyalty to the pack,” Alpha Hati explained, watching me as if he expected me to turn tail and run.

I wanted to.

Blood sacrifice was old magic. Dangerous in the wrong, or inexperienced, hands. Alpha Hati didn’t strike me as inexperienced; he wielded the blade with confidence, but that didn’t make me feel any better. Gerlac watching with a growing smirk helped me stay rooted though. I wouldn’t show fear in front of him. Ulli had mentioned Seidr, magic, lingered here, and now I wondered if she was right.

“What do you mean by shared?” I asked carefully, getting images of ghostly Blood Drinkers in my mind’s eyes.

Alpha Hati’s lips twitched and he approached slowly, his free hand up in a sign of peace. Maybe he knew what thoughts were running through my head.

“I will stand in for the pack, as I am Alpha. A small cut on your hand and mine, and those few drops will mingle. More symbolic than anything else, I promise you. It will only hurt a pinch. You've felt much worse.”

Bright fire eyes lowered to my leg hidden by the length of my dress.

He was right, I’d experienced much worse than a small nick on my hand. So why was I still hesitating? Head cocked to the side, he showed he was willing to listen.

“Are you sure I am right for this?” I murmured, daring to look up at him with hands fretting in front of me.

There would be no going back once this was done, my gut told me that. The energy thrumming through the room, the adrenaline rushing through my veins as I held his gaze, maybe it was a warning. But when had I ever listened to anyone’s warning?

I flinched as he suddenly reached out, but allowed him to gently wrap his fingers around my wrist. He lifted my hand and turned it palm up, the blade hovering over my skin. “You will thrive in this position. No other wolf on my council has any doubt. No one else spoke out against you?”

“Not one?” I blinked in shock, and would have staggered back if he didn’t tighten his grip around me.

I would have thought the rumours and stories would be enough to make the council decide I was more a liability than an asset. Yet, there was no lie in his face, and Gerlac’s irritated huff let me know he’d probably done his best to have others join his side.

“None,” Alpha Hati affirmed.

Straightening my shoulders, I took a deep breath, already grinding my teeth together so no cry of pain would leave my lips. Taking my silence and steady stance as permission, I watched entranced as he cut a stinging line across my palm. He chuckled as I flinched and glared up at him, even though the pain was but a fizzling burn that would be easy to ignore.  

“That is more than a small cut.”

“Apologies,” he murmured, stepping closer as blood pooled in my hand, tickling my skin as it escaped my fingers trickled down onto the floor. A frown creased his features, and he bowed his head to sniff at the air, a low hum in the back of his throat.

Beta Caldar appeared beside us, reminding me there were others in the room. He held out a small horn and placed it beneath my hand to catch a few drops of my blood. The two males glanced at each other, and Beta Caldar moved away again when Alpha Hati nodded. Suspicion rose quickly, but before I could ask what they were going to do with my blood, or if it was part of the ritual, Alpha Hati released me to slice a line across his own hand.

My nostrils flared much in the same way as his had as the oddly sweet scent of his blood filled the air. Blood had never smelled like that to me before, almost tempting in its aroma. When I met his gaze again, they burned with a startling intensity that made me shift on my feet. He took another step forward, so close I swore I could feel the beat of his heart in my chest, or maybe it was mine hammering away like a woodpecker, threatening to burst through my ribs at any moment.

“This is the worst bit,” he said, grabbing my bleeding hand in his before I could think about his words too much.

He was right. The pressure as bloody wounds pressed together sent a sharp pain shooting right up my arm.

Loosening his fingers, he urged gently, “Breathe.”

I did as he said, sucking in a breath at the same time as he did, and letting it out as I watched his shoulders lower. His thumb brushed over mine, just the barest of movements but it sent yet ore tingles over my skin and made it hard to remember to take the next breath.

“Is that it?” I asked, hearing the tremble in my own voice.

He nodded slowly, offering me a comforting smile. “That’s it.”

A nervous laugh peeled past my lips, adrenaline still coursing through me so every sight, sound and smell was a bombardment to my senses. Then ice cold seared through me. Hati’s hand still in mine became a scalding branding iron that made a scream tear from my lips. Fire scorched my veins and I tried to tug my hand away, catching a glimpse of Alpha Hati watching open mouth and wide eyed before my vision flashed white. Then white was eaten up by black as if a pit had opened up beneath me and I’d went falling in.

I could still feel the Alpha’s hand gripping mine, so tight my bones crunched together. If I screamed again, the sound was tossed aside but the torrent of whispering voices roaring in the dark. A deafening sound of unintelligible words that stopped suddenly with one word I did recognise.

My name.