3rd Person POV

[At the Night Raid hideout, some assassins are found lurking]

Najenda: Listen, everyone. Our home is being invaded. Protect it with your lives!

JP: On it, your highness!

Najenda: I'm never going to get used to that nickname.

JP: It will sink in.

[The whole group splits. Bulat tags with Tatsumi. Akame deals with her group. So do Mine and Sheele. JP is suddenly surrounded by men]

Mine: We need to help him!

JP: I got this, Princess! Okay. I enjoyed the song last chapter so let's do it again. Cue the music!

[Music to "Gaston" begins. An assassin walks over]

Assassin:

Gosh it disturbs to see you Assassin. In fact it usually does.

You get all the girls to like you, Asssasin. Just thinking about it kills my buzz.

There is no man in town who is reviled as you and hell they all wished you would die!

Though you proven quite tricky to kill...everyone is going to try!

JP/Assassin:

No one...

JP:

Slick as the JP.

No is quick like JP.

No one punches you in the dick like JP!

Because there is no man town half as...

[JP sees a knife an assassin has]

JP:

Nice knife. Perfect. Give it up man it's gone.

You can ask Akame, Mine, or Sheele. And they'll tell you who's team they prefer to be on!

Akame/Mine/Sheele: Yours.

[An assassin walks behind JP]

Akame: Watch out, JP!

JP:

No one's fun like JP.

[JP kills some men with his gun]

JP:

Shoots his gun like JP.

Akame:

Assassins should kill a ton like JP.

JP:

My kill count is really intimidating!

Assassin:

Hey kill that guy that JP!

Shoot off his balls!

Cut off his route!

Mine:

Hey, idiot should we help you out?

JP: I got this princess.

[Assassins sneak up on JP. JP pulls out his swords and starts fighting back]

Assassins:

If you died that be cool

so we could win the dead pool.

JP:

If Leone were here that would be really cool!

[Leone comes over and kills a few of the men]

Leone:

You're lucky I was passing through here!

JP:

Man your pants do great things for your arse!

[Leone winks and then runs away]

Author:

Hey you're no slouch in that way either.

JP: Thanks, author. I'm going to cover all my enemies in scars!

[An assassin tries to hit JP with a sneak attack. JP flips over him]

JP:

No one...flips like JP

or changes clips like JP.

[JP stabs his two katanas into a guys chest]

JP:

No one wields katanas and RIPS like JP.

[JP decapitates a man]

JP:

I'm especially good at decapacitating!

Assassin:

Heads roll for JP!

JP:

When I was a lad I would just sit outside even when it was very late.

Now I'm thinking about something fun. Hey, girls, want to go out on a date?

[Akame and Sheele nod. Mine looks away and blushes. Then they all fight together]

Akame/Mine/Sheele:

No one...

Akame:

Jokes like JP...

Sheele:

Or provokes like JP.

Mine:

No one's a huge idiot like JP!

JP:

Do you girls want to go on a dinner date later?

Akame/Sheele: Yes!

Mine: No!

JP: My what a guy...ME!

[All of the men are now dead]

JP: That was fun. Thanks for joining Beautiful and Angel. Thank you too, Princess.

Mine: Shut up.

[Najenda gathers the rest of the group]

Najenda: All of you did well. Tatsumi, good job on your first mission. Also, did I hear singing?

JP: Maybe.

Najenda: Okay. Let's all get some rest.

Tatsumi: Where do me and JP sleep?

Najenda: Both of you have your own room.

Leone: Actually, JP is sleeping with me.

Akame: Not if I have a say about it.

Sheele: Leone, you would mess with him. He wants a calm person like me.

Mine: What is wrong with you three? You only just met him yesterday!

JP: Well, I'm heading to bed. Whoever wants to join can!

[JP falls asleep in his bed alone. The next day he wakes up with only Leone in his bed]

JP: Wow. Gorgeous is a bold one.

[There is a knock on the door. Sheele opens it. She blushes to see Leone in JP's bed]

JP: Nothing happened I swear.

Sheele: It's okay. You and Tatsumi are training with Mine today.

JP: Okay.

[JP and Tatsumi walk over to Mine's room]

JP: Okay. So we knock and...

[Tatsumi opens the door. Mine is just in her pink underwear and bra. She freezes. JP looks in]

JP: Before you kill him, I just have to ask one thing. Is pink your favorite color?

Mine: Yeah.

[Mine fires a blast at Tatsumi]

Tatsumi: What are you doing?

Mine: How dare you move when you deserve to die!

Tatsumi: I was just following orders!

JP: I got to say that you look good, Princess!

[Mine turns red and then passes out of embarrassment]

Tatsumi: You got to teach me that!

JP: Uh...no.

[Later that day, Mine and JP are out in the capital]

JP: You really didn't want Tatsumi coming did you?

Mine: Not after what he did!

JP: I was there too you know.

Mine: Yeah but...(Quietly) you said I looked nice.

JP: What was that?

Mine: Nothing, idiot!

[Silence]

Mine: How is your daughter?

JP: I told her a secret hiding spot if the base was ever invaded. She went right there.

Mine: She's a smart girl.

JP: Yes she is.

[The two see a couple of boys messing with a little girl. JP walks over]

JP: What's going on here?

Man #1: Leave, man. This is none of your business.

[The little girl looks at JP with tears in her eyes]

???: Please help, sir!

JP: I suggest you leave her alone.

Man #2: What are you going to do about it?

[JP pulls out a gun and a mirror. The men start to arm themselves but stop when they noticed that the gun wasn't pointed at them. JP uses the mirror to shoot a bird that was behind him. The two men stare in fear]

JP: This is the part where you run away.

[The men ran as if their lives depended on it. JP walks over to the little girl]

JP: Hey, I won't hurt you.

[The little girl wraps her arms around JP]

???: Thank you. Thank you.

JP: Got a name, sweetie?

Sarah: Sarah.

JP: Well, Sarah, how would you like to live with me?

Sarah: I can?

JP: Yeah. I'm sure Mommy Mine won't mind.

[JP turns to Mine. Sarah looks at Mine with tears in her eyes. Mine tries to look tough but eventually caves in]

Mine: Yes she can. She's our daughter.

[Sarah runs over to Mine and hugs her. Mine hugs Sarah back. A huge gathering starts]

Mine: It's a public execution.

JP: Let's leave.

[JP, Mine, and Sarah spend the rest of the day shopping. They return to base after they're done]

JP: Today was fun.

Mine: Yeah...it was.

Sarah: So you two were on a date?

JP: Uh...

Mine: Yes!

JP: Okay?

[Najenda that night sends the whole team on an assignment. They were to kill a relative of the Prime Minister who was using women for pleasure. JP quickly left the base. Mine set up far away to snipe the relative. The rest were going to kill the other five guards. JP and Akame stood waiting at their spot]

JP: I'm going to kill all of them before any of you.

Akame: We'll just see who gets there first. No guns.

JP: Fine.

[The whole group except Mine all fight together to kill four guards]

Lubbock: No fair! I didn't get to kill a guard!

Leone: None of us did. JP took all the kills.

JP: I didn't use my guns! Wait...we killed four guards.

Tatsumi: Weren't there five?

JP: Shit. Mine!

[JP suddenly teleports away. Mine is unaware of the guard behind her. By the time she sees him it's too late. The guard has a clear path to kill Mine and she freezes and is unable to pull the trigger on her imperial arm. She falls down to the ground expecting death. She closes her eyes and waits. Death never comes. She opens her eyes and sees a sword through the guards chest. She sees her savior as JP]

JP: Hey, I got to save the Princess!

[Mine hugs JP and starts to cry. JP hugs her back and rubs her head and back]

JP: Shh. I'm here. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. I got you, Princess.

[The rest of the group arrives]

Leone: Well, looks like Mine won the battle today!

[Mine hears this and quickly pushes JP off of her and wipes away her tears]

Mine: What are you talking about? I didn't win anything!

[The rest of the group just laughs. Mine looks at JP and begins to blush]

Mine: (Thoughts): He saved me. That was an idiotic move. But he's my idiot and we have a daughter. I'm a step ahead of the rest of the girls.