The One

(au: babyy_x_candie)

“Hmmm…”

Jaejoong blinked sleepily and rolled over, anticipating the warm body next to him. However, the spot next to him was empty and cold.

“What happened to Yunho?” murmured Jaejoong. He rolled back to his side of the bed and stared at the ceiling. Last night was one of the most depressing days of his life. Memories swamped him, making him relive what happened yesterday.

*Flashback*

Jaejoong and Yunho were walking along a street while on their date when Jaejoong suddenly stopped walking and turned around to face Yunho. “Yunho, I love you,” Jaejoong blurted out. “I’ve been waiting for you to say it, but I’m getting tired of waiting for you to say it first. So, Yunho, I love you. You’re the most important person in my life and always will be.”

Jaejoong waited for Yunho’s answer, but the only response he got was a blank, astonished face. “D-don’t you love me too?” stammered Jaejoong.

“Jae, I…”

Jaejoong waited helplessly for Yunho to continue his sentence, but when it became clear that he wasn’t going to finish what he was going to say, Jaejoong turned away, tears blurring his vision. “I guess you don’t love me after all. Did you think that this relationship was only a fling? We’ve known each other for, what, 7 years? I thought you knew me well enough to know that I considered this relationship as my final one.”

“Jae, no, listen to me. I—“

“What? Listen to what, Yunho? Listen to excuses to why you don’t love me? You know what? Forget it. Just pretend this conversation never happened. I’m going to go home. Please don’t follow me.” Jaejoong gave Yunho one more tears filled glance and walked away without a backwards look.

“Jaejoong! Wait!” yelled Yunho. Jaejoong just kept walking and was soon swallowed up by the crowd.

Later, Jaejoong reached the apartment that DBSK all shared and was searching wearily in his pockets for his keys.

“Crap, where did I put them? Did I forget to bring them?”

An arm reached over and opened the door for him. “I was waiting for you to come home,” said Yunho.

Jaejoong whirled around and said, “Can you just leave me alone right now? I don’t want to talk to you.”

“But I don’t want to leave you alone.”

“Well, too bad. I don’t feel like—“ The rest of his words were cut off by Yunho’s kiss. Jaejoong struggled, trying not to respond to Yunho. However, Yunho knew Jaejoong’s sensitive spots all too well and used that knowledge to his advantage. Giving up, Jaejoong responded to Yunho’s kiss.

With each passing moment, their kisses became more passionate, more desperate. Finally, they reached the bedroom that they shared and succumbed to the raging lust that demanded to be satisfied. Once in bed, their passion knew no bounds and raged out of control. They made love desperately, almost as if trying to forget what had happened between them earlier.

*End Flashback*

The memories finally ebbed away, leaving Jaejoong exhausted. He sighed, resigned with the fact that he will have to try his hardest at making Yunho love him. He rolled over and tried to see what time it was. However, there was a CD and a letter on top of the clock.

“Eh? What is this?” wondered Jaejoong. He glanced at the CD, saw that nothing was written on the surface, and placed it back onto the clock. He looked down at the letter and saw his name was written on it by Yunho’s handwriting. He opened the letter and started to read.

Dear BooJae,

I know that yesterday was a long day for you. I know that I didn’t help matters by refusing to leave you alone. Did you know that when you cried yesterday when we were making love, I felt so helpless? I couldn’t do anything but to try to make you forget everything that happened even though I don’t think I succeeded. However, if you listen to the CD, you’ll understand why I didn’t say “I love you” to you too even though you pleaded with me to reply. Please, when you listen to it, don’t do anything except listen. Don’t think, don’t try to imagine what I’m trying to say to you, just listen to the song and try to understand the message I’m trying to convey to you. I hope you’ll understand after you listen.

- Yunho

P.S. In the CD case I left another letter for you. But please don’t read it until you’ve listened to the song and understood the meaning.

Jaejoong put down the letter and stared at the CD case with the blank CD in it. He opened it, searching for the other letter that Yunho said he left. He found it under the CD. He held it within his hands, wondering if he should open it or if he should obey Yunho and read it after he listened to the CD. He sighed again, deciding to listen to Yunho, and stood up with the CD in his hand. He walked over to the stereo and popped the CD in. He walked back to his bed and laid back down on it while waiting for the CD to begin playing. All of a sudden, a familiar opening began to play, an opening he knew because he had sang this song a few years before. The song was “One”; DBSK had sung this song for the movie A Millionaire’s First Love.

As he heard his own voice singing the familiar lyrics, he began to sing along quietly. However, Yunho’s voice whispered in his head, “Jae, please, don’t do anything but listen.” With another sigh, he relaxed back onto his pillows and tried to just listen to the beautiful song and lyrics. However, his mind and body just didn’t relax, and so, he decided to replay the song and listen with his eyes closed. The song started once again, playing its hauntingly beautiful melody.

The days I've been dreaming of, are already here,

I feel it through your hand that I'm holding now

Because you might’ve been too far away,

I wasn't able to say when I've been keeping my feelings hidden.

What are you feeling?

Even that distant future reflecting from your eyes,

Is all of it mine?

I guess I’m living. Thank you, for I have everything.

He started to cry, finally understanding why Yunho chose this song.

Someday I’ll lay my love on you.

Baby I don’t want to lose it now.

Just one, there's only you

Let each day be like the first time we met

You're the reason I live

These feelings are only for you

You know it.

Tears ran silently down his face as through the chorus, he heard Yunho’s wish, the wish that was the same as his.

The past days tell me, how long love will last.

At the day’s end, you’re always waiting for me.

I am happy, as I love you.

He sobbed uncontrollably as he finally heard the words he had so longed to hear.

We can last forever, anywhere in the world

Just one, there's only you.

My one and only love

There's no one else besides you

I know this, I'll believe it

For eternity.

He fumbled for the letter Yunho left him in the CD case. He ripped it open, almost tearing the paper inside apart in his haste to read what Yunho wrote.

Jae,

Do you understand now? Do you understand that it’s not because I don’t love you that I didn’t answer you, but because I was scared of telling you? I was scared that if I pushed my feelings onto you, you might leave me. I was so scared of losing you that I completely didn’t notice your feelings. I was so wrapped up in my fear that when you told me yesterday you loved me, I was so shocked that I wasn’t able to say “I love you” back. I think that my fear will take some time to disappear, and until the time comes that I can say “I love you” to you freely, please, be patient with me. I promise, one day, you will be able to hear me say “I love you” everyday, every night, for the rest of our lives.

- Yunho

He dropped the letter, and stumbling, he ran as fast as he could to the door, looking for the one person he will always love.

How did you find me, among all these people?

Now, I am headed towards you.

I pray for this love to be true,

Wherever in the world, miss you my baby you

Stay with me a moment longer

Going beyond these moments, like lies

To ever changing days…

Someday I’ll lay my love on you

Baby I don’t want to lose it now

Just one, there's only you

Let each day be like the first time we met

You're the reason I live,

These feelings are only for you

You know it.

He wrenched the door open, and saw Yunho leaning against the wall with tears glinting in his eyes.

Yunho smiled, and said, “I love you.”