BELA

Today my teddy bear is feeling like rock hard.

Wait! I don't sleep with a teddy beside me and why am I feeling something hard?

I opened my eyes,I was snuggled close to Mahir.

Mahir?

He is hugging me like he has only me. His right hand was under my body and left one was on my body.

He caged me in between his hands. He locked my legs with his. My head was resting on his arm.

He is looking so stressed,his slow warm breath was hitting my face. I caressed his face slowly. I wanted to ruffle his hair with my fingers.

His hair was falling on his forehead,I slowly removed those hairs and ruffled his hair.

I was blushing like a mad girl!

I slowly came out of his embrace. My eyes widened when I saw his knuckles. They were swelled and now purple in color.

What happened to him?

I took his hands in mine and caressed it with my fingers. Did he hit some one?

I was blinking back my tears,I took the first aid box and was bandaging the wound.

He woke up when I sprayed his hand.

"Bela"?he woke up looking at me.

"What happened to your hand Mahir? See it's swollen...I... did you hit some one....your knuckles turned...", he cut me off.

"Bala relax...it's just...leave it",he said getting up.

"How can I relax Mahir? Are you mad? Just look at your hand...how badly it's bruised",I said.

He came close to me and kissed my knuckles. Every hair on my body reacted to his touch.

Piloerection!

"Your hand is bruised, not mine",I said caressing his hand.

He was smiling?

"Why are you smiling? Did you look at your hand"?I said.

"It's fine Bela, I'm fine. It don't hurt anymore. And this is nothing in front of some other pain",he said tucking my hairs behind my ear.

I know the pain he is going through. He is missing Bani di, and I know that I can't fill that void in his life.

I was still caressing his hand and he shifted closer to me.

"Please don't hurt yourself Mahir..I...I can't bear it",I said looking out of the window.

"Bela just look at me",he said taking my face in hands.

"Nothing will happen to me. I will not leave you. Never", he said.

I was just staring at him and he was doing the same. I was sitting between his legs and he pulled me more closer.

He removed my hair from my shoulder and pressed the love bite he gave me.

"It's.. it's not hurting anymore",I said.

He dipped his face in my neck and gave soft feather kisses.

His lips! Oh god!

He was slowly moving his lips and a complete zoo woke up in my stomach.

He licked the sensitive spot near my collar bone. I clutched his tee tightly.

He slowly pulled my top strips down with his hand.

God! Is he trying to kill me morning morning?

He started giving smooth kisses on my shoulder blades,his another hand slipped onto my waist. He lifted my top a little and was caressing my stomach slowly.

I scooted more close to him as a reflex. His hands were working on my shoulder and stomach while his face was still dipped in my neck.

"Mahirrrr",I moaned when he was drawing smooth circles on my stomach.

The pleasure was unbearable.

"You are making me crazy Bela",he said with a heavy breath.

I hugged him tightly and clutched his hairs.

"Mummaaa",we heard Mahira crying.

I pulled back with a jerk. I looked at him feeling shy. I adjusted my top and hopped out of the bed immediately.

I wore my shrug and took Mahira in my arms.

"I'm here baby... I'm here",I cooed her.

Someone has to be beside her when she wakes up.

"What happened baby? Mumma and dadda are here",Mahir came from behind.

"Dadda..",Mahira said looking at him.

He took her in his arms and cooed her while stealing glances at me. I was blushing looking at him and my face must be cherry red now.

"Get freshed Mahir,I will prepare break fast",I said.

"I will give bath to Mahira first and then I will get freshed", he said.

I narrowed my eyes at him.

"I won't do any naughty things with her hair. I promise", he said giggling.

"That's better",I said and went to take shower.

I went to prepare breakfast after taking shower.

Mahir and Mahira came looking fresh as usual. Cute father and daughter.

I was eating while feeding Mahira, but Mahir was still looking off.

Something's really fishy!

"Mahir..I want to ask something"?I said.

"You don't need to take my permission Bela. You can ask", he said.

"Umm...tomorrow is Bani di's death anniversary...I thought we could do a pooja for her",I said.

He may burst out listening it from me. I'm scared to ask. But it's for my di. Mahir was not even there to perform her last rights that day. He just stormed off.

"What for? Is there a need to do it"? he asked.

What's wrong with him? He is behaving like he hates her. He does not hate her. Then why is he talking like this?

"Mahir..she was your wife, how can you say like that? Your dad and my dad asked me to ask you",I said.

"As her husband.. you have to perform that pooja",I said.

"Husband? Husband my foot",he mumbled in a low tone, but it was audible to me.

God what's wrong with him? Is he angry on her for leaving him like this?

"OK fine. I'm OK with it, but I can't spend more than an hour in that pooja. I have work to do", he said.

I need to talk to him. He is disturbed because of something.

"O..OK,I will inform them",I said.

"Dadda...let pay wid dolly",Mahira said looking at him.

"Not now baby...dadda has some work",he said.

He is ignoring Mahira? Maybe he have something really important work to do.

"Dadda..peasee",Mahira told with her puppy eyes.

"I told that I have work Mahira...I will play with you when I get some time",he almost yelled.

Why is he venting his anger on my baby?

I looked at Mahira,her eyes were ready to spill. She made a pout and started crying.

"Mahiraaa...",Mahir was about to take her.

"I know you...", she said walking towards me rubbing her eyes.

'I know you'in her language means'I hate you'.

My heart ached looking at her like that. She just asked to play and Mahir?

She came and hugged my legs sobbing. I took her in my arms and made her sit on my hip.

"Dadda is busy na baby...mumma will play with you",I said wiping her tears.

"I know dadda", she was still crying and this house will collapse by her loud sound.

I looked at Mahir accusingly. He can't vent out his work pressure on her like this. She is a kid for God sake.

"Mahira I'm sorry baby...dadda was little stressed. I will play with you in the evening",he said while trying to take her from me.

But she hugged me more tight and swatted away his hand.

He made her cry in the morning morning!

"I know you dadda...go", she said snuggling into me.

"Mahira..dadda is sorry baby. I'm sorry Bela...my mind was some where else",he said feeling guilty.

"She is a kid Mahir! She will cry even if we talk in high voice. You shouldn't have yelled at her. It's OK,you do your work,I will play with her",I said.

"I'm sorry Bela...I dint mean to hurt her", he said.

"I know Mahir..it's OK. You do your work, she will be alright in sometime",I said.

He nodded and came to kiss Mahira,but Mahira hid her face in my neck clinging onto me.

Mahir was hurt looking at her like this. He shouldn't have shouted like that. She is really hurt.

"She will be fine in no time Mahir,you go",I said.

He nodded and went to his room. Is he hiding something from us?

He was looking off from yesterday, he is looking so low. I need to talk to him tomorrow.

MAHIR

I yelled at my baby today. My anger issues are coming back after reading that journal.

Life is always like this,I love someone..but they leave  breaking me.

I loved Bela as my best friend.. but she left..leaving me hurt and angry.

I loved Bani more than anyone in my life,but she too left me. But I'm angry on her for thinking like that about Bela and me.

How can she?I just lost it. I never in my dreams expected that Bani thought like this.

She wanted Bela to come back,but again she was trying to avoid her presence in our life.

She was insecure about her own sister like this?

And this Bela have no idea about it. She is still telling 'Bani di..Bani di'.

She will be hurt when she gets to know about this. Bela left for Bani's happiness leaving her happiness behind.

And Bani thought like this?

My eyes welled up thinking about all this. I just vented out my anger on my baby. She was hurt very badly. She was not even ready to look at me.

I can't change into the angry young man again. I need to control my anger.

I just sat there like a statue for ten minutes. I searched for the book which I threw with anger yesterday.

I saw the book lying at the corner,I went and picked it up from the floor.

I opened the next page to read.

My dad was sitting beside me when I woke up. He was looking at me with concern.

I'm speechless now. Bela loved Mahir?

Bela...my sister? She loved my Mahir?

"Dad...Bela loved Mahir"?I asked him.

He was not talking anything, his eyes were welled up.

"Bani.. you should take care of your health now.... don't stress yourself too much", he said.

"Dad please.... not today. I need to know it",I sobbed.

"Please dad...don't...don't put me in dark...I have to know why Bela left",I asked sobbing.

"Just now you said that you don't want her in your life..... then why are you concerned about her now",my dad asked looking hurt.

"Dad please....I beg you....please tell me what happened. Did Mahir knew about Bela....please tell me",I sobbed joining my hands in front of him.

"Bani... don't stress yourself... don't cry",my father said taking me in a hug.

"Please dad...I want to know",I sobbed in his arms.

"I will tell you each and everything today Bani", he said.

I was stunned when I heard what my dad said. I'm sure that even you have learned about her problems by now Mahir.

He told me each and everything about what Bela felt for you.

The problem she faced on our graduation day and many more.

What pricked me most was...she thought that I would sacrifice my love for her.

She trusts me so much and loves me this much.

And here I was trying to put her away from our life's.

I was confused Mahir. I dint knew how to react.

"Why dint she tell me about this dad"?I asked.

"Even you dint tell her anything", he said.

"I always had a doubt that she loved Mahir...she loved Mahir...I...my Mahir... and I...",I couldn't talk anything.

"If you would know about her love before...would you leave Mahir"?my dad questioned.

I dint knew what to tell. I loved you so much Mahir. So much means....I can't even think of you being with my own sister.

Maybe I would sacrifice my love for her...but that would even be my last day in my life.

"These both sisters....am I any tressure to be sacrificed just like that....Bani also know this but never tried to tell me",I closed my eyes with anger.

I opened my eyes and continued reading it.

"Where is she now dad"?I asked my dad.

"Somewhere in London...I also don't know",he lied.

"Dad please...I want to meet her I want to talk to her for once",I was crying now.

"She is not in a good state now.. she is not well", he said.

What does that mean?

"What do you mean by she is not well? What happened to her"?I asked.

"I went to London two days back to meet her....she is going through depression... she had an overdose of pills...and she was about to....", he sobbed wiping his tears.

Now I felt like an irresponsible sister. She left for me! She left for me and Mahir!

She left her happiness for my happiness... and I was thinking like that about her.

I'm nothing in front of her now.I don't deserve to be her sister and your wife Mahir.

I was feeling like...I was living her life. I took her happiness away.

She is in depression now,because of us. I never thought that my little sister was this brave to leave her love for me.

I was feeling disgusted now.I don't deserve to live like this,after ruining my sisters life...I can't.

My dad told me each and every detail about her...her love,her pain,her sacrifice,her tears.. everything.

"I want to talk to her dad... just once...please",I asked my dad.

"Why now Bani? She don't want to be in touch with you people", he said.

"Is she angry on me dad"?I asked.

"No she is not. She can never be", he said.

"Please dad..I should inform her that I'm pregnant",I said.

"Bani...I can't do that... she will not like it", he said.

"Dad you obeyed her every word till now,please obey my words this time",I choked while requesting him.

"OK..I will", he said.

I sat beside my dad,he was contacting her.

"Bela...I... just a second", he said giving me the phone.

"Hello.. dad are you there"?I heard her voice after one long year.

I covered my mouth to control my sobs. My dad was caressing me from beside.

"Bela...",I was sobbing.

"Ba..Bani di"?she asked.

"Bela...it's me...your Bani di",I said.

"Di....I...how are you"? she asked,her voice was shaking.

"I'm..I'm pregnant Bela",I said out.

"Di...wow...I mean congratulations... I'm...I'm so happy for you", she was sobbing now.

"Bela...please come back...I can't stay away from you like this",I asked.

"Di please...I don't want to spoil your happy moments now.Congratulate Mahir from my side", she said.

"Why don't you say it your self"?I asked.

"Di..please once put the phone on speaker",she asked.

I did as she said.

"Dad...I don't know why you allowed di to talk to me, but congratulations di..be healthy and take care",she said and hanged up.

I cried more after she hanged up.

"Don't cry Bani...it's not good for the baby's health",my dad said.

"How to contact her again dad",I asked.

"Now she will change her number and call me when she wants to",he said.

"She would have talk to me....why did she leave like this...",I cried.

"Everything happens for a cause Bani..we can't do anything",he said.

"I don't know what to say dad,Bela also  loved Mahir...but she never said anything",I sobbed.

"And she is going through a lot of pain for that and you were doubting on her and Mahir. They were friends Bani...Mahir was concerned about her as a friend..and maybe you took it in a wrong way",he said.

Yes. I'm wrong! I'm completely wrong!

"We will discuss all this later, did you go for a checkup"?he asked.

"I will go tomorrow",I said.

"Don't tell to Mahir about this Bani... now you both are going to become parents,you have to be stress free",he said caressing my hair.

"I won't tell him dad....I can't show my this guilt ridden face to him",I said.

"Please take care of yourself Bani",my dad said and I left to our house.

I saw you and Andy uncle working in the lobby when I came back.You both were busy,so I went to our room.

I was thinking about the harsh reality I heard today.I just came in between you and Bela. If not me,you both would live happily together.

"What is my baby and baby's mother doing"?you came from behind hugging me.

Those moments were the only happiness I had that time.

"Nothing...just thinking about our baby",I said.

"We need to go for a checkup tomorrow right? Let's go", you said.

"It's OK Mahir,you are needed in office tomorrow,I will go by myself",I said.

I know how hard I tried to convince you that day. Next day I went to Polo aunty for check up.

"Everything is fine with the baby,but... there is a problem",she said.

"What is it aunty....I want this baby,I can't loose this baby",I said holding my belly.

"You have to choose Bani",she said.

"What...what should I choose",I asked feeling worried.

"It's either you or the baby...only one can make it",she said.

My little world of happiness crashed suddenly. My every dream of having this baby along with you,parenting our baby, everything crashed.

"My baby is healthy right... then why should I choose",I sobbed.

"Your baby is growing healthly Bani...but your immune system is weak,you can't be healthy once you give birth to the baby...it well effect your health. I guess you can't even have a normal delivery",she said.

And for the first time,I took a wise decision in my life.

"I want this baby aunty,I don't know about myself. I want this baby,Mahir needs this baby...I want this baby at any cost",I said.

"Think about it Bani,if not your own children you have  an option of adoption,why to end your life for this baby", she asked.

"Only I know the reason,I need this baby.This baby should see this world,it's mine and Mahir's love",I said.

"Please don't inform my family about this, they will never allow me to bare this child. Please aunty, don't tell anyone",I cried.

"OK Bani,as you wish. Take care of your health and don't stress yourself",she said and I left for home.

This baby entered our life when you lost your  mom Mahir.I know how important it is for you.

God is helping me even now, even after thinking like that, he is helping me out.

He is giving me another chance to mend my mistakes,I realized that I came in between you two.

You both are destined to be together, and I'm just a small part of it. It's just fate. Bela deserves a happy life with you. You both should be happy together. Our baby will be the reason for you both to be together..... and I know you will also realize your feelings for her.

Tears were flowing from my eyes after reading this. I can't say anything.

I never felt that I would be in this situation one day. Bani chose the baby over me and she dint inform me about her complications.

Bela loved me and dint tell me,instead she ran away.

What should I do now?

___________
Hey guys! Sorry for dragging this journal this much, but its just the story how I thought. Next chapter will be last part of the journal. We guys have come a very long way together,we made it this far.

It's been 3 months now, and I got immense love and support from you people.I'm just finding new words to thank you people.Silent readers are also❤❤.

And about votes,you will definitely vote if you like the story, that's all I can say.But I give even long updates na guys, then why votes fluctuate with every chapter. They decrease instead of increasing🙂🙂.

And by the way Mahir is still not in peace,so he dint spoke to me much. He was showing different expressions while reading all your comments😂😂. He loves to read comments just like me.

So kindly,
Vote, comment and share.