Stella's POV

"This feels like déjà vu," I sigh.

Harry's car is parked in front of the gates. The gates of Minehead Academy. My school. It feels like I haven't been here for a decade when actually, it's only been a few weeks. The human mind loves to play tricks on you.

"Déjà vu is the mind's way of letting you know that you are in the right place at the right time," Harry says, smiling.

I return the smile.

Here goes nothing!

The sound of the car door opening echoes in the quiet street; Mrs Barry had arranged for me to arrive at school earlier so that I could have a better chance of settling right back into the routine without any 'disturbances'.

"Bye, Harry," I say.

"Have a good day!"

I need that!

Approaching the school gates, I stop walking when I hear my phone vibrate. Taking it out of my coat pocket, I can't stop a grin from spreading on my face. It's a message:

Harry: Keep your head up high :)

When I finish reading it, I turn around to where Harry still has his car parked; he's beaming at me. I've smiled so much since I got out of bed this morning that my cheekbones start to ache. I turn back to the gates.

Harry can protect me outside the gates. However, once I step inside, he can no longer do anything for me. Yes, there are the teachers but they can't be watching constantly, not when there are hundreds of students. It's just me, myself and I.

The song by Bebe Rexha and G-Eazy plays in my head and I bet that I look like a lunatic...but it's too early to be caring about what other people think of me. When I'm inside the building, I climb up the stairs that look like the steps have doubled since I've last been here.

On one flight of stairs, I bump into one of the cleaners half-heartedly mopping the stairs. She has grey hair and countless freckles covering most of her face; on top of her plain black clothes is the yellow apron every cleaner that works in the school has to wear. When I go pass her, she pauses her work to stare at me.

Unsure on what to do, I give her a small, nervous smile, which she responds with a dirty look. Surprised and embarrassed, I quicken my pace up the stairs.

For the remainder of the stairs, I try to figure out what the reason behind the dirty look was.

It was just my imagination!

But was it?

If not, it was just miscommunication.

Miscommunication? The lady was oozing disapproval and disgust.

What at?

Does she know what every student and every teacher in this school knows? Does she know about my past? Do all the cleaners know? Do all the staff members(that aren't teachers) know?

Or...

I could be wrong. It could be that her face wasn't expressing disgust or disapproval but anger instead. The lady doesn't know about my past but could know that I was somehow linked to the graffiti in the toilets. She could have been the person who had to clean it up and mistaken me for the person who just made her job ten times worse.

Stop being so paranoid, Stella! She was probably just irritated because you ruined the only part of the day she isn't surrounded by demanding children!

Because I'm so consumed by my thoughts, I almost bump into the door that is the entrance to my tutor room. Although the temperature today is a negative number, I start to feel sweat forming on my forehead as I open the door just enough for me to slide through.

Mrs Riley is sitting at her computer, frowning at the screen. The deeper lines in her forehead make her look twenty years older since the last time I saw her. I clear my throat in hope of getting her attention and it works because she glances up, startled.

"Oh, Stella! I didn't hear you come in because you don't barge your way into the room like the other children. They're extremely lucky that they haven't knocked the whole door off it's hinges yet," it seems like this is Mrs Riley's way of saying 'hello'.

She may have changed in appearance but she hasn't when it comes to personality: Mrs Riley still jumps at every opportunity to complain about everything!

When she stops talking, I have a debate with myself on whether my tutor wants an answer and if so, what it should be. Before I can react, Mrs Riley continues speaking.

"It's so good to have you back! How are you?" my tutor has changed her tone to sound sympathetic and sweet but to me, it's false and sickly.

"Better than I was the last time I was here. Thanks!"

"Great because I really don't want a repeat of what happened before you know what."

Does she think that I want to go through that experience again? Temptation to ask Mrs Riley that almost makes the question leave my mouth but I just about stop in time.

"Me too," I agree.

"Well, you can just sit down and wait for the rest of the class to arrive."

I walk past the table I used to sit at with Sophie, Emma and Storm.

Storm. The girl who was mean to me when I was new to the school. The girl who was my friend only a few weeks ago. The girl whose 'friend' and sister destroyed me...but I've come back stronger than ever!

My footsteps don't stop until I reach the table at the back; yes, that same table I sat at on my first day at Minehead Academy. Taking off my coat, I hang it on the back of my chair before unzipping my bag to take out my reading book. After closing my bag, I tuck it on the floor, under my desk and take a seat. When I open the book, I'm hit with my favourite smell in the whole world: the aroma of a paperback that makes me feel at home instantly.

I pick up where I left off and soon I'm transported to another world...

"Well, well, well! Look what the cat dragged in!" a taunting voice fills the classroom.

I look up to find Jessica with a mocking smirk plastered all over her face. Never have I said a word to her once and I'm not staring now so I focus my eyes back onto the page I was reading, not giving her any more attention than she deserves: nothing.

"Jessica, sit down, now!" Mrs Riley scolds her but it's like she didn't hear them because my classmate is still standing up, her eyes never leaving my face as she says:

"You're so pathetic that you can't even defend yourself so you have to have all the teachers in the school as your bodyguards," Jessica sneers at me.

I can defend myself!

So prove her wrong!

Thinking that she's won, Jessica turns around and she is now walking back to her seat. Mrs Riley sees me open my mouth and looks like she's about to silence me but I beat her to it.

"Who are your bodyguards, Jessica? The toxic people you call your friends?"

At hearing this, Jessica freezes like a statue. She turns to face me with a face red with anger that I now know that I've really asked for trouble. Before she can respond, Mrs Riley jumps in and shouts at her the same instruction to sit down, which this time she listens to. At the same time, her partner in crime, Monica enters the room and takes a seat next to Jessica, telling her that I'm not worth the trouble:

"She's a waste of space!"

Just ignore her, Stella!

"I bet you must know how it feels," I whisper but unfortunately Monica hears me because her eyes flash with fury.

"You must be even more stupid than I thought to come back to a school full of people that don't want you here!" she insults me.

"Well, look on the bright side: I can still go to sleep at night knowing that even if I am stupid you still have the number one spot of being the most stupid."

"What was that, little mouse? You have to squeak a bit louder!" Monica has her hand cupped around her hear while she looks at me with the most menacing smirk.

"Oh, what a comedian! You really do crack me up!" I try not to cringe at my fake laughter.

Some more of my classmates stroll in and one boy amongst them mutters underneath is breath," I thought she had gone crazy when she started punching the wall the last time she was here but now, she's completely lost her mind!"

This remark doesn't make me stop cackling; in fact, it makes me continue.

Then, I stop.

Because of who has now showed up.

Storm.

Due to her focus being on her phone laid out in her palm, she doesn't notice me.

"Phone away," Mrs Riley reminds her.

That is when Storm lifts up her eyeline.

Then, she stops. Storm has seen me.

Time stops.

Her face is a mixture of confusion, surprise and hope.

"Storm, we don't have all day!" Mrs Riley complains.

Time resumes.

Storm takes a seat at the same table I used to sit at with her but I don't miss the brief smile she gives me; I reply with a fierce stare which makes the grin from her face vanish so quickly that it makes me doubt whether it was there in the first place or it was just my imagination.

Why would I imagine Storm smiling at me? Do I want to fix our friendship?

Her face is a mixture of confusion, surprise and hope.

Is there still hope? Is there light when there was only darkness? If there was light before, it's disappeared because Emma enters the classroom.

Unlike Storm she's not on her phone so she notices me straightaway because as soon as she rushes into the room, her eyes widen in shock and I can't stop myself from mirroring her facial expression.

How can I explain it?

For the first time since we met, Emma doesn't look like a doll.

There's not a single trace of makeup on her face(which makes a massive difference in her appearance since she always, in my opinion, puts so much of it that it makes her look a bit fake). Also, this is the first time I've seen her natural hair since she's constantly curling it or straightening it.

"Has everyone in this tutor group suddenly forgotten how to take a seat?" Mrs Riley sighs and Emma takes this as her cue to sit down...but not with Storm like she used to before I was suspended.

————————————————————————————————————————————————

Time is ticking by so slow. I've only had two lessons but it feels like I've had double the amount.

Probably it's because you were stared at for the whole two hours.

Of course, I had prepared myself for the stares I would be receiving but it was even worse than I possibly imagined: my classmates stare at me as if I'm an ancient artefact up on display at a museum and not just a human being like the rest of them. Now, that it's break, I need to find somewhere private, where I won't be disturbed or constantly stared at.

Stepping out of the building, I put my hood up despite there being no rain: I don't want to break the record amount of stares a person receives in a day. Unfortunately, it's windy so as I am strolling round the only part of school,(which has nobody around apart from me)my hood falls down. While I'm putting my hood back up, a familiar voice calls:

"I guess the rumours are true, then!"

My head spins around so fast that I'm surprised that it doesn't fall of. I am met with the same cute smirk that makes my stomach do a somersault every time.

"Noah."

His name is the only word I can think of to say.

"Thanks for reminding me my own name," Noah remarks cheekily.

To hide the fact that my cheeks have turned a shade of scarlet, I look down at the ground.

How is it possible that he always makes me blush?

"Sorry, I just didn't know what to say...how are you?" I try to redeem myself.

"Pleased and disappointed to see you," Noah replies. Because, at first, I think he's joking, I start chuckling until I finally have the courage to make eye contact with him to discover that he's not joking. The twinkle of amusement that were in his eyes a second ago has disappeared.

He's serious.

Nah really!

"You're not joking."

In my mind, I want it to be a question but I repeat it aloud as a statement.

Why would Noah be disappointed to see me?

"I'm more than happy to see that you're back but I can't help feeling upset that I had to find out about it through somebody else and not you. Why didn't you tell me about you coming back to school when I went round your house?" Noah asks, trying to disguise how hurt he is in his voice.

Oh, Noah!

"Noah, I didn't tell you when you came to see me because I made the decision afterwards!" I exclaim at how we both got the wrong end of the stick.

The look that passes over his face confirms that I've managed to clear up the misunderstanding that occurred between us.

"I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions! In that case, I'm kind of happy to see you. Just a bit ," Noah does the small pinching gesture to show 'how little his happiness is' but I can see that this time, he's actually joking because he's grinning," Hold on a minute! Does that mean I'm part of the reason you came back to school?"

Yes!

"The answer depends on whether or not you stop grinning like a hyena," I avoid the question to prevent my cheeks from heating up again.

"A hyena! Ouch! What an insult!" Noah pretends to be offended.

"Sometimes the truth can be painful to bear. I know a lot about that," I murmur but the grave facial expression that replaces the amused one on Noah's face communicates to me that he had heard it.

The only talent you have is darkening every situation!

It's true. One moment, we were having a good time, joking and laughing, the next, I have somehow managed to bring in the sad story of my life into the conversation. This makes the other person awkward and I bet one hundred pounds, Noah wants to be anywhere else rather than here with me; I don't blame him.

He doesn't have to be here. If I were to count how many friends he has, I would lose count.

Most importantly, he shouldn't be here. Once word gets out about him being seen with me, there's no second chance: his reputation is down the drain, just like mine.

"Um, I n-n-need to go see um Mrs Riley," I lie so unconvincingly that it's a struggle not to cringe at my improvisation skills.

"Oh ok, I guess I'll catch up with you at lunch."

What Noah says almost makes me burst into tears. Almost. How am I going to break it to him?

I need to make a sacrifice for Noah. He's already made a sacrifice for me.

I look him straight in the eye as I say:

"Noah, I don't think we should hang out at all anymore. It is what's best. For the both of us."

"You're kidding, right, Stella? It is what's best for the both of us? Are you sure? Or did you mean what's best for everybody else in this stupid school?"

I already hate seeing you frown but what you're also saying is making this a whole lot worse!

I take one of Noah's hands, which feels warm and soft.

"You are going to thank me when you still have a good reputation and you're surrounded by people who make you happy and not sad," I reassure him and even though I don't want to, I reluctantly let go of his hand and start walking away.

"You make me happy, Stella!" Noah calls out.

"You're wrong about that!" I argue back but my feet don't stop moving.

"I'll just follow you."

Suddenly, a pair of footsteps are following me.

"You have to give up on me!" I tell him.

"No, I'm not doing that again."

"Why not? Because everybody else in my life can do it. Storm gave up on me when I thought she was my best friend. My Mum gave up on me as soon as her heart stopped beating. My Dad gave up on me the second he stopped fighting in that hospital. My foster parents will give up on me as soon as the realise that I am a lost cause. My social worker will give up on me, too, because that's what every person that has that job is good at. Giving up on their clients."

By the time I finish speaking, I am out of breath.

"I won't give up on you, Stella," Noah whispers.

"Yes, you should and you will," I correct him.

"I don't care how much and how long it takes. I'll keep following you every break and lunch everyday. I'll wait for you on your doorstep everyday. Whether it's minus seventy degrees or it's raining buckets or it's white outside with snow."

"You'll get sick," I remind him.

"You're worth it."

I freeze. Noah takes this moment as his advantage to catch up with me.

"I'm not," I say while shaking my head.

I'm just about to continue walking when he grabs hold of my wrist.

"That's where you're wrong," Noah tells me, tilting my chin with his index finger so that we're now staring at each other.

Sooner or later, I break the moment when I realise that he's still holding my wrist; Noah looks down at it and lets go quickly.

"I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?"

He must be joking! He was so gentle and yet my wrist is still warm.

"No, of course not!" I assure him with words and a smile.

There comes that grin again, which makes the butterflies return. We continue walking side-by-side, both knowing that he's won. The jokes and the laughter start again but there's still something I have to get off my mind.

"Don't say I didn't warn you, though."

Author's Note

This chapter somehow became longer than I originally planned it to be. Hope you don't mind!

Next chapter will be from somebody's POV we haven't heard from for a long time. Yes, our Storm is back to give her side of the story.