Chapter 19: Let's live our lives

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Taehyung had assumed that the weather was getting warmer every day. The chilly air surrounding the graveyard proved him wrong.

His trembling hands carried a bouquet of tulips and his hair swayed with the wind.

His eyes went searching for the reason he had come there for.

They immediately caught on to the familiar words engraved on one of the many stones.

Sue's gravestone.

A shiver travelled through his body as he took closer steps.

He could hear the crunching of the grass as his feet walked. He was surprisingly calm as he stopped in front of the polished rock.

He sat on his knees as he continued to stare keenly at the grey block. He read her name again and again. The date of her death was the day he had found her.

It was such a long time ago. He had wasted a lot of time in grief. And now he was finally here.

Taehyung carefully placed the flowers near the stone as he sighed.

"Hey Sue. Long time no see. I've been holding up, but I could do better. I know I should have come sooner. I didn't even attend your funeral and I regret that. If you were here, you would have been upset with me. But you have to know that I was so angry with you. You left with no warning. You broke me, Sue. You broke me for a long time."

He drew in a shaky breath as he shifted his gaze to the sky.

"And for days, all I kept thinking was how could you not tell me that you were going through something. I thought that there were no secrets in our relationship, you know. I always figured I was enough to keep you happy and I'd fight anybody or anything that'd hurt you. But what I didn't know was that you were your own worst enemy. I took two years to accept that and I still have trouble with that sometimes."

Taehyung paused for a while as he gathered his thoughts. He chuckled lightly as he spoke his next few sentences.

"But you know what? I realized that life can be all kinds of crap and you can still have a good time. You can go out with your friends, dance freely in pubs, play with shopping carts. Nothing can come in the way of having a hell of a time. So why waste time crying over the past, huh?"

"My life with you was wonderful and I'll never forget it. But now I have to live without you and I think I'm finally ready for that."

Taehyung's lips quivered as he spoke. His chest hardened as tears began to leak from his eyes. His body suffered from a rush of emotions.

"And I know it makes no sense that I say this, but I have to. I forgive you, Sue. I forgive you for leaving. I forgive you for everything. And I'm sorry I ever blamed you for my misery. My time with you has been the best of my life."

He was finally doing it. He was closing this chapter of his life forever.

"I-I'm gonna go live my life now, Sue. I think I deserve at least that much. I want you to know that I'll always remember you. I hope you've found your peace wherever you are."

He kissed his two fingers and rested them on her grave.

"Bye."

With that he stood up and made his way out. He didn't look back. He decided to never look back.

Mixed feelings ran through his system. 

His body was shaking, his heart felt constrained, his fists were in balls.

But as he walked out of the cold area and strong winds rushed to greet him, Taehyung couldn't help but a wear a smile on his face.

His tears had dried. His breathing became normal. His mind felt open.

His shoulders stood up straight as if a huge burden had been lifted up. 

For the first time in forever, Taehyung felt free. Free from grief, free from guilt, free from the past.

His mind would always have its questions and doubts, but with time and patience, he will have his answers.

Things won't always go his way. He may never find love again.

But he felt fine. He was ready to accept the truth, because the truth was what kept him at bay. 

No more lies. No more crying.

He was done with it all.

So with a strong conscience, Taehyung walked on the path of the unknown.

And this time, fear had lost its war.

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A/N:

Two more chapters!

Thanks for reading❤