"You're back!" Diana says when she sees me waiting for her at her locker bright and early Tuesday morning.

"Yeah," I reply with a small nod. I told my mom I had to get to school early to talk to some teachers so she personally dropped me off fifteen minutes earlier. In reality I just wanted to avoid the awkward run in with Diego I may have if I arrive with my brothers.

"Happy to have you back," she tells me with a smile.

"Yeah, I can't miss any more days. I have too much work to do," I respond.

"How are you feeling?" she asks as she fiddles with her locker. She opens it and digs around for a few seconds.

"Better," I answer, not quite sure if I'm telling the truth.

"What's the plan if you see him?" she asks and I shrug, unsure of what to say. In my mind, I imagine myself beckoning him to somewhere where we can be alone but realistically I'll probably turn and walk in the other direction.

"I don't know," I reply.

"Are you good for first period?" she asks and I shrug. I stayed up all night last night contemplating what I'm going to say to him. I considered the 'act like nothing happened' option but realized that it'd be damaging to both of us in the long run. I should just confront it head on.

"I guess," I reply. "By the way, did you look for my key?" I haven't been able to find my key since this weekend and I really pray I didn't lose it at that house party. I've been holding on to the idea that it was somewhere in the crevices of Diana's couch.

"Yeah, I searched the basement and I couldn't find it," she replies. I sigh loudly. Now I have to make up a lie to tell my parents about why I need a new key.

The bell rings and I tell Diana I'll see her later before trudging to my first period class. I arrive on time and make my way to my seat, which is directly behind Diego's empty seat. I tap my foot impatiently as I wait for him to enter, wondering if he's going to even bother showing up. Ten minutes into class, the door opens and he appears with a coffee. He walks in my direction and I feel my heart skip a beat. I turn my attention down to the papers on my desk and wait for him to sit down. He stutters in his walk before he finally takes a seat. 

I think of ways to talk to him without exactly talking to him. Should I write him a note? Send him a text? I need to just go up to him and talk. I barely pay attention to class and instead, stare at the back of Diego's head. I silently prepare myself to tell him that we need to talk. Long before the bell rings, I'm packed up and ready to speak. As soon as everyone starts getting up to go, I take a brave step forward and touch Diego's arm before I can convince myself not to. He turns around and looks at me with a face full of relief.

"We need to talk," I tell him. The relief is short lived because his face sinks.

"I know," he replies. "Now?"

"No, we have class," I respond. "Last period- study hall."

"Where?" he asks and I try to think of a place where we could be alone. "I'll get Sage's car keys and we can sit in there or something."

"Okay." I swallow heavily before turning and rushing out of class.

As each period drags on, I begin dreading our planned meeting more and more. It's like the opposite of a date. I don't even know if I want to hear what happened in that bathroom with Elena and Diego and I'm terrified to tell him about what I did. I'm grateful when lunch comes around because I'm capable of voicing these fears to Diana, who sits eagerly with open ears. Diego and friends sit a few tables away and I feel his eyes on me but I try to be as comfortable as possible.

"You've just got to tell him," Diana guides me and by the grim nature of her voice, I can tell that she doesn't have much hope for the conversation, much less any chance of a relationship. 

"I'll be back," I say after a few minutes of silence. I collect my food, stand up, and head in the direction of the trash can. As I'm approaching the garbage, I hear someone call my name. The voice sends shivers through my spine as I'm thrown back to the other night.

"Orion!" he calls and I blink back surprise. My eyes widen in slight horror when I turn to see Roman approaching me. I drop my food in the trash and turn to face him, trying to keep my composure as he gets closer.

"Roman, hey," I greet him and he notices the awkward look on my face.

"Hey," he starts, opening and closing his mouth a bit. "Are you okay?" The way he asks, it seems as though it was an afterthought that he wasn't sure he'd risk saying. 

"Yeah, I'm fine," I assure him in hopes that he'll hurry up and allow me to get back to Diana.

"That's good," he nods before patting his pockets. "You left something on the hammock and it seemed kind of important. I was hoping to run into yesterday in class but you weren't there and I figured the sooner I get it to you, the better." When he realizes his pockets are dead-ends, he grabs his book bag from his back and rummages through it. He pulls out the golden key that I imagined to be shoved somewhere in Diana's couch.

"Oh, thank you, yeah, I kind of need this," I say as I accept it from him. He smiles at me and nods.

"Okay, so I'll see you around," he replies and I nod back at him with a semi-forced smile before I practically run to Diana.

"Who was that?" she asks.

"The boy!" I hiss quietly. "From the party!"

"The boy?" she asks before her eyes widen. "The boy! Oh my gosh, what'd he give you?" I hold up my key to her and she looks back in his direction. "He's really cute."

"Diana!" I retort.

"I mean, seriously, look at him. You get all the boys, huh?" she responds. I look in his direction and analyze him for a second. I never did get a good look at him that night; it wasn't light enough for me to take in all of his features. Not to mention, I was crying for our second encounter.

"I mean..." I trail as I assess him. His hair is a dirty blonde shade and his eyes are big and green, almost a jade color. He's almost exactly my height, maybe an inch taller but I can't exactly tell because of his relaxed slouch. His style is simple. From what I can see now, he wears plain t-shirts and cardigans with rolled up sleeves. His jeans are cuffed at the bottom and his sneakers fall stylishly below them. I glance back up to his face to do some further analysis only to find that his eyes are now on me. He grins and waves so I quickly blink myself out of my stupor. I offer him a stiff nod before I turn my attention back to Diana, who is looking at me with a hand shading her eyes.

"Awkward," she mumbles. 

"Were we staring that hard?" I mutter.

"You were. I stopped staring a few seconds ago and only looked back when I saw you looking into his soul," she explains and I shake my head. "He is, right? Attractive, that is."

"Yeah..." I mumble as I push around my food. "I guess."

The bell rings and I look to Diana nervously. It is now time for study hall, which means it's time for me to confront Diego. I get up and put my house key in my pocket, taking my time to leave. As I'm exiting, I notice Diego by the door, waiting patiently with the set of keys in his hand. "I'm nervous," I express to Diana, who shakes her head.

"No, you're going to go talk to him," she demands, giving me a shove in his direction. I nervously approach him and nod, signifying that we're a go. He leads the way out to the parking lot and in the direction of Sage's car.

"How have you been?" he asks and I glance at him from the corner of my eye.

"How do you think I've been?" I retort and peeks over at me.

"Sorry," he mumbles as he unlocks the car. He opens the door for me and I get in, waiting for him to come around the other side. When he does, I lock my eyes on the dashboard, unsure of how to start the conversation. 

Before I can even prompt the conversation, he starts. "I'm sorry, Orion. I didn't even kiss her back! We just got there and I was waiting with her until her friends arrived because I didn't want her to be alone. But then she just started drinking a bunch of the punch and it hit her all at once and she was so drunk. She said she had to pee so I took her to find a bathroom to make sure she didn't get abducted or something. And when we got there she pulled me in and closed the door. I couldn't even react because she just started kissing me but I didn't even kiss her back, I swear. That's when she got all upset and left! Because I told her I didn't want to kiss her and to stop." He says this all in the span of three breaths and by the time he finishes, his chest is rising and falling rapidly as his eyes search mine for forgiveness. "I'm sorry, okay? I shouldn't even have invited her and had I known she was interested in me like that, I wouldn't have even mentioned a party in conversation at work. I'm sorry, Orion, I really am."

I feel guilt pool in my chest as I stare at him and I start crying harder than I've cried these past few days. I pull my legs onto the seat and bury my face in my arms. He hesitates before touching my back. "No," I say and he removes his hand. "I don't deserve it."

"I know you don't and I'm sorry. I wish I could go back and change how that entire night played out-," he starts but I cut him off.

"No, I don't deserve your comfort. I kissed someone else! On purpose!" I blurt and he looks at me with squinted eyes and furrowed brows.

"Huh?" he asks and I shake my head.

"After I ran into you, I went back outside and sat with a boy I had met and was talking to and I kissed him because I was sad and I was hurt. And I know those excuses aren't legitimate and I regret it. I just thought that if you were able to abandon your feelings and kiss someone else that I should try it, too. It didn't work. It didn't work at all. He ended up pushing me away because I was crying while kissing him," I ramble. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done it. I was so stupid but I just wanted to feel better but I didn't. I felt worse. I feel worse. I'm sorry."

I'm sniffling into my arms and dry sobbing as I wait for him to say something, anything. A few minutes go by and I get up the nerve to look at him. He is staring at me and he reaches out and wipes my face. "You're not mad?" I ask, in confusion.

"You cried while kissing him?" he repeats, biting back a grin. He laughs and I stare at him in pure shock.

"You're not mad at me?" I reiterate. "No, you have to be mad at me! You have to not talk to me for three days and I have to go to your house twice and deliver you food to try to win you back!"

"I'm not mad at you," he starts, "because you wouldn't have done it if it weren't for Elena."

"But I still did it! I made the conscious decision to do it! That isn't how you handle grief! Or sadness! Or anger! You don't go out and do the same thing back!" I retort.

"And you realize that now right?" he replies.

I huff and puff for a second. "Yes, but-," I reply.

"But what? You made a mistake," he says. "Besides...you embarrassed yourself."

"How are you going to trust me?" I ask quietly. "Isn't your trust broken?"

"I'm hurt...but no," he replies. "You were obviously torn about it. You told me about it. You regret it. You could've easily lied to me about it and I would've never found out."

"But..." I trail. Where's my consequence?

"Besides, you embarrassed yourself while doing it anyway..." he says with a smirk and he laughs again. A few seconds later, he turns serious and looks at me. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah..." I reply as I stare at him. He hesitates for a second as his fingers twirl in his lap.

"Do I know him?" he asks.

"I don't know," I confess. "He was the boy in lunch."

"The one that was talking to you at the trash can?" he asks and I nod.

"Roman," I reply and he nods slowly. "Do you know him?"

"Not personally," he responds as he plays with his hands. I reach over and grab his hands with mine.

"I'm sorry," I tell him.

"It's okay," he replies reassuringly. "I'm just happy it wasn't Webster." I drop his hands immediately and look away. "What?!"

"You're acting like it's a joke!" I respond. "You're not going to trust me anymore, I know it."

"If I didn't trust you, I would tell you. If I didn't trust you, I wouldn't be this relieved we were talking again. And if I didn't trust you, I wouldn't still want to be with you as badly as I do," he explains and I press my hands to my eyes.

"I hate myself," I complain. "It was such a dumb decision."

"Bringing Elena around was a dumb decision," he replies.

"I hate her," I say bluntly. "She tried to take advantage of you. She's disgusting."

"I've been ignoring her, you know?" he tells me. "I've been flat out ignoring her."

"Really?" I ask.

"I mean, the first day back I told her that what she did wasn't okay and not to talk to me at all, not even if she needs help around the restaurant," he explains.

"She's so...ugh," I say as I clench my fists.

"She is quite ugh," he responds.

I watch as kids file out of the school and Diego looks at me. "I think Sage may want her car back. It's time to go," I explain and he looks at me.

"Are we okay now?" he asks.

"Are we? I'm the one that did something bad," I tell him.

He rolls his eyes. "We're good," he says.

"Yeah, we are," I reply. We get out of the car and he comes around my side and pulls me into a hug. "How aren't you disgusted by me?" I say in a muffled voice into his chest. It feels good to be so close to him again but all I can think about is my mistake.

"Why would I be?" he asks before shaking his head.

"I understand if you never want to kiss me again," I tell him as I pull away. He somehow maneuvers his hand into mine and I'm not complaining. He leans over and pecks my lips, catching me by surprise. "My brothers are out here!"

"They don't know yet?" he asks sarcastically.

"Calum has no idea," I respond as I look around for my brothers and the car.

"I will never not want to kiss you," he tells me and I frown at him.

"I feel gross," I confess.

"You're not gross," he tells me as he pulls me into a hug again. I bury my head in his neck as I breathe him in. "I've spotted them...and they've spotted us."

I pull away from him and look in the direction he's staring. My brothers are watching from their positions leaning against the hood of the car. I signal for them to wait a second. Luckily, they can't see our intertwined hands from their spots but I have an idea that they know. I slowly undo our hands and step back from him. "I'll see you later before work," I tell him.

"Yes," he responds. "Are you actually going to text me back if I message you?"

I nod with a grin as I back away. "Yes," I answer.

"And text Sage; she misses you dearly!" he calls.

"Will do," I say before turning and heading in the direction of my brothers.

When I arrive, Calum looks at me with narrowed eyes. "Hmm...you don't look so sick anymore," he notes and my other brothers snicker.