HOLY HECK, the chapter 'Set the Stage' GOT 50+ VIEWS WHAT THE H O N K  THAT'S CRAZY FJEIWODEWDEPOFE

In the days following the snow, a whole lot of very exciting nothing happened. POG2020 and SWAG2020 spent their days trying to out-pander themselves to the L'manburg citizens. Schlatt was gone (probably trying to find alcohol), Dream rarely visited L'manburg, Sapnap was being swayed in his choice of political party, and George was either sleeping or gathering more shrooms.

Some minor acts of vandalism had been committed, mostly by Big Q. The large floating cobblestone POG2020 has been rewritten as A**2020 and quite a few houses had mysteriously been appearing on Tommy's front porch. Literally.

Just as you had finished the stage, Tubbo made an executive decision without anyone else's input to move the stage from the bottom of the hill to the top of it.

You threw your hammer at his head.

All acts of attempted murder aside, the stage was taken apart and painstakingly moved and rebuilt at the top of the hill. On the plus side, this meant a lot more decorative elements were added. Unfortunately, it was a PAIN to climb up to said stage.

Wilbur, Tommy, and Big Q also decided to make a very ugly 'white house', which actually had around three feet of white concrete and the rest was all wood and stone.

Finally, it was September 20th and the stage was built, the white house constructed, and the night for final speeches, endorsements, and debate was here. Everyone was gathered at the stage you'd built, even Dream. George, surprisingly, was running late. More than once, you caught Quackity nervously pacing by his seat. Eventually, the parties gave up waiting for him and went on with the speeches.

You didn't pay attention much. From what you could tell, it was a lot of political bickering and relatively the same gist as Debate Night. Surprisingly, however, after POG2020 and SWAG2020 gave their final speeches, Fundy and Niki stormed the stage.

Fundy, stepping up to the mic, cleared his throat.

"My fellow citizens, I stand here today, humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, and mindful of the sacrifices born by our ancestors. I thank Wilbur for his service to our nation as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown through my raising. Now I mind to keep my words short and powerful, and thus I say: I am not powerful, and I might not have wealth, but I do have a dream. While Quackity has righteous ideas, and Wilbur the leadership, I, together with Niki, have a bakery and a worldwide shipping right."

You groaned. "Oh my gosh, please no."

"I can deliver," he continued, "as many cookies and ice cream you desire once you've voted for COCONUT2020. God bless L'manburg."

By now Wilbur was fuming. You contemplated whether he'd become half-tea kettle. But, to be fair, you were now completely unnerved by the amount of side-switching there'd been that night. Sapnap had gone from POG to SWAG in about four seconds, Niki and Fundy were striking out on their own, around three attempted murders had happened, and Schlatt hadn't even announced his campaign.

There was a large chance you were about to die today.

"Hold- hold your applause," Wilbur burst out. "The voting ballot, the voting ballot was shut on the 9th of September. We- we shut the voting ballot on the 9th, so it's locked to..."

"Are you not strong enough to combat me?" Fundy questioned him, staring his father in the eyes.

Wilbur sighed. "Look, I'm just tellin' you man, it's just- this is NOT how this works. You can't just-"

"Do you know how many people are against you right now, Will?" Fundy interrupted. "What are you saying?"

"You kno- you know what? Hey, everybody, we've got a third party running! Third party is coming. And then we're gonna go through endorsements, gonna go through- I swear, you guys- surely- you have endorsements, don't you? Fundy and Niki? Of course you do. You wouldn't come here without endorsements."

Fundy's eyes widened.

Turning, he grabbed Niki's hand, pulling her along as he ran away from the stage. You could faintly hear Niki protesting as the two dashed away. Beside you, Quackity snorted, but you hardly felt like laughing. Your brain was feeling as if it had been pulled a mile wide, let snap back into place, then smashed with the whole weight of the community house. And it was barely noon.

As all eyes turned back to Wilbur, you rubbed your temples. You had no experience in political matters or debates. With Techno, it had always been just you two, no one else to worry or care about. You'd gone where you wanted, when you wanted, and you didn't have to worry about a tall, scary frisbee-faced man coming after you.

To be honest, some days, you woke up not knowing where you were or where the familiar forests and mountains you'd always known were. You had dreams that you were back home, only to wake up and find that you were still stuck in this miserable hell-hole.

Tommy followed Wilbur up to the stage, clearing his throat. "Ahem, uh, we're- we're going to have a brief recess." Quackity grumbled beside you, but you nearly fainted in relief.

"FINALLY! LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" you shouted as you ran all the way back to your tent and flopped on the cot inside. Sighing happily, you dug through your B/C pack and found a cookie, which you slowly ate. It wasn't a potato, and you didn't know exactly when or how it got into your pack, but it was FOOD and you were STARVING.

Before too long, you reluctantly headed back towards the stage to see if they were done with the recess. Thank the blood god, they weren't, but there was someone else waiting, their feet propped up on the chair in front of them.

Punz looked up as you sat down, nodded in your direction, then turned his attention back to the stage. After a few moments of awkward silence, you attempted to start a conversation.

"You're Punz, right?"

They nodded, once. "Yes. And you're Shadow?"

You hesitated, there, for a bit. "Well- not exactly- I mean, that's one of the names I go by, yes, and it's the one most people call me." You shrugged. "So yes, I am Shadow."

Punz only nodded again.

"You use they/them and he/him pronouns, right?" you asked slowly. "I mean, that's what I heard George using, but I just want to make sure."

"Yes. I do."

You smiled. "I knew someone who used they/them pronouns, once. I only met them for a brief period of time, and I've never seen them since. Their name was F/N (friend/name)." You looked at your feet, sighing. "See, sometimes I feel like I'm fully female, and other times I feel as though I'm not really male or female." You looked up and were surprised to see Punz actually meeting your gaze for one. "Is that what it's like for you?"

Punz hesitated. "It's... complicated."

So that was the end of that conversation.

"George mentioned you were a mercenary or something," you said offhandedly.

"Not so much of a mercenary as a person willing to take whatever deal is going to work out for them best," they said slowly. "I do also dabble in some assassination, as well."

OOOOooooo, murder.

This you could talk about.

"What weapons do you use?" you asked, now excited.

Punz shrugged. He seemed to do that a lot. "Any available. Swords, knives, poison, potions, tnt, take your pick."

You snorted. "I can't even throw a knife. Poisons? Forget it unless it's a woodland plant."

A slow smile spread across Punz's face. "I could teach you. For a price, of course, but I could still teach you."

If you had ever done puppy eyes, it was right now.

"REALLY??!?!?!" you squealed. "HECK YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS HOW MUCH DO I HAVE TO PAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY?"

They now looked alarmed, as if wondering what the honk they had just gotten themselves into. "Gold, jewels, heck, I've had people pay me in telescopes. Anything."

You wrinkled your nose, thinking. Gold would be easiest. Techno was quite the fanatic over it, and so you'd spent your life hearing how to easily get it. According to the Great Pig-Father, there was some kind of gold ore in hell.

No joke.

There's gold in hell.

Okay, it's not necessarily called hell. They call it the nether. Same difference, it's hell.

"I'll pay in gold," you replied. "Maybe a stack of ingots?"

Punz grinned and nodded but said nothing.

A chorus of bickering voices brought your attention to where Wilbur and Tommy, along with several other people, were coming back towards the stage.

"Oh great, here we go again," you groaned.

"Not a fan of politics?" Punz asked, amused.

You snorted. "Heh. I'm just here until I can escape. Then, I'm running as far and as fast as I can, and I'm never coming back. For now, I'm stuck being a prisoner. Which wouldn't be that bad, except I had no social skills and my only political experience was given to me by an anaaaaaaaaaa- forget I said that. Point is, I'm like a magma cube in the middle of the ocean, I don't belong. I mean, there's not even a decent potato farm here! How do you people survive?"

"You sound like Technoblade," they said, laughing.

You froze, for a second. "Who?" you asked as nonchalantly as you could.

"Oh, Technoblade?" Punz said, surprised. "He used to live here, actually. For a brief time. Lived here with a guy named Philza before leaving to go live in the arctic or something. He beat Dream in this competition once. Actually, twice. Once in a competition called MCC, another time in a gladiator-style game hosted by the rich billionaire who lives really far away named Mrbeast." (*smacks self* FIRE STOP TOO MUCH FOURTH WALL BREAKAGE EVACUATE THE PREMISE AND END THE CHAPTER)

You blinked rapidly, shocked. TECHNO FREAKING LIVED HERE WHY WOULD ANYONE COME TO THIS HELL-HOLE OF THEIR OWN FREE WILL? WAS HE CLINICALLY INSANE? DID THE VOICES IN HIS HEAD DRIVE HIM TEMPORARILY MAD? THIS PLACE-

Your mental rambling was cut off by Wilbur climbing up on the stage, clearing his throat.

Groaning, you smacked your head against the chair in front of you, hoping to be knocked out. Instead, you just bruised your head and were forced to sit through what was going to be the worst election ever.

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1749 words

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So that's over.

SOOOOOOOOOO much dialoge and tab-switching -_-

I tried to get the speeches as accurate as I could, so a lot of Youtube videos were watched in the making of this chapter.

If you excuse me, I am going to go smack my head into a chair and eat popcorn for an hour while crying in French.

Also, if you didn't, go look at the announcement last page, it's important.

TA TE CHILDREN