Jin

Bella sat at one end of the couch, her hands clasped on her lap while I sat on the opposite end. She kept her eyes down and hadn't looked at me since the moment I'd walked into her apartment. I could do nothing but stare at her, drinking her in as if she were my very life force.

Cindy had lingered nearby in the kitchen, pretending to be cooking or cleaning or something. I could feel her shooting daggers at me even if I wasn't looking at her. I had no doubt that one misstep on my part would result in a kitchen knife in my back.

"So," Bella finally spoke. "What did you want to talk about?"

I took a deep breath. "I know that you must have heard all sorts of things, and I want to set things straight because I owe you that much."

Her hazel eyes finally met mine. "Oh, no. You owe me nothing. Just say what you want to say."

I pressed my lips together. "I owe you the truth. First of all, I broke up with you because I did not know what my father had up his sleeve. I knew that if I didn't distance myself from you, he might do something that would hurt you."

She scoffed. "He would hurt me? Unless he pledged his undying love to me then turned around and got engaged to someone else, I don't think he's the one who's hurting me."

"Listen, I know it's difficult to understand," I continued, "but my father has resources at his command that he can use to ruin things... for a lot of people. I was trying to keep you away from that while I figured out what to do. I need to figure out a plan." I looked at her pleadingly.

"So is getting married part of your plan?"

I shook my head. "No, of course not. Not if I can help it. However, I have to pretend that I am willing to get married for certain reasons. It's...it's so ridiculous."

She averted her gaze. "Okay. Second of all?" She obviously wanted to get this over with as soon as possible. My heart sank when I realized that this might not go well at all.

"Second of all," I said, "I did not have sex with Fiona." I heard a pan drop in the kitchen followed by some colorful swearing. I ignored it. "Yes, she was in my room, and yes, she spent the night there, but we didn't do anything. I was drunk, and I thought I was talking to you. I fell asleep, and when I woke up a few hours later, Fiona was asleep, snoring on the edge of the bed. I got up and slept on the couch. That's the truth. The next day Fiona spun some fiction about how we'd had sex--encouraged I'm sure by Micha--and my father moved the wedding date up, threatening me in multiple ways if I opposed him."

Bella glanced at me, as if to gauge my sincerity, then looked down again. "Why would your stepmother be plotting something like that?"

I sighed. "I don't know. She hates me for whatever stupid reasons she holds in her twisted heart. I think she's using Fiona to keep us apart because it's the one thing she knows would devastate me. She doesn't want anyone--least of all me--to be happy in love."

"So you're just a little boy who can't admit anything is his fault, huh?" Cindy snarled, walking closer to us. "Why can't you just own up to the fact that you have thrown Bella over for a girl of your class? Do you have any idea what you've done to her?"

Bella sighed. "Cindy, would you mind? I'd like to talk to Jin in private." The other girl huffed angrily, but left to her room without another word. Bella turned back to me.

"So you're saying that I should take your word that you did not sleep with Fiona and that you will fix all this somehow."

I nodded. "I need you to understand. I don't care about anything that my father is threatening to do to me. There are other...factors involved." I looked into her eyes. "I only want to protect you, but I have to pretend that I broke up with you until I untangle this mess."

"You said your father threatened you and is forcing you to get married--I assume it's because everyone believes you slept with Fiona. But regardless of who is behind all of this, your wedding is almost here," she said in a strangely calm voice. "That's what I understand."

I exhaled impatiently. How could I explain to her without actually telling her what my father threatened to do? She might not believe me, but if she did, she would do something ill-advised, such as confronting my father, or having her parents confront him. I could not let her do that and get hurt. I knew my father had destroyed a lot of people better connected and much wealthier than the Domanis. I had to protect them.

"I know that the wedding date is near, but I am trying to figure things out," I finally said. "I am trying to solve this. In my mind and heart, I always pictured us together. I still do.  I need you to trust me that I will fix this." I reached out and held her hands. "For the love that exists between us, for the love you have for me, please trust me."

Her eyes looked watery. "I want to believe you, Seokjin, even after what you've done--"

"Please believe me," I broke in. "I will work everything out, but I need you to stay away. For now, not forever. I just don't want my father to think we're still talking. I can't give him any ammunition. We'll just keep our distance.  At least until I can figure something out."

"I don't know how long I can continue this way," she cried. "It hurts! Now you tell me again to stay away from you, but you're the one who came looking for me! You're holding my hand but telling me to keep my distance. I'm confused!" A tear escaped the corner of her eye.

I squeezed her hands. "I didn't mean that I never wanted to see you. I'd die if I couldn't see you. You know you mean everything to me, but it's...complicated right now."

She yanked her hands out of mine. "Let me make this simple then," she began in a tone that I did not like. "Can you call off the wedding to Fiona? Will you do that? For me?"

"I...I can't. Not just yet. As I said, it's not that simple."

"Yes, it is. If I mean that much to you, then it is simple," she said. "I don't care about the consequences, and you shouldn't either because all that matters is that we're together, right? You love me, don't you?"

"You know how much I love you," I said, "but it is not a simple problem."

"Then let me offer you a simple solution: why don't you just stay away from me permanently? Hm?" She stood up. "So, congratulations and best wishes on your marriage. Please leave now."

I shot to my feet. "Bella, wait. I won't let you out of my life. Please, listen!" I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. Her eyes were dull and lifeless. What had I done to her? We couldn't leave things this way. This couldn't be the end.

"I am begging you to give me a little time to figure this out. I don't want my father to know what I'm planning. I just need him to believe that I'm following his orders, but I promise that I am going to solve this." I tried to grab her hand, but she moved away. "If you truly love me, Bella, then you need to believe that I'm working on getting out of this situation."

"This isn't a game, Seokjin. We're not guaranteed a happy ending. What if you can't fix this? What am I supposed to do if you end up married to someone else? Am I supposed to keep waiting? For how long?" she exclaimed, her voice getting a little shrill. When I didn't move, she marched to the front door and held it open. "I need to be alone to think. Please respect my wishes and go."

I nodded and trudged toward the door. I paused in front of her, my hands itching to touch her, my arms aching to hold her. My lips wanted desperately to tell her that I loved her, but all I could manage to say was: "Please trust me."

I stepped out and half-turned toward her.

"I can't make any promises," she said. "I will try."

The door closed before I could react to her words. I placed my hand on the door and felt a burning sensation in my eyes. "I'm sorry," I whispered. I turned and headed to my apartment before I embarrassed myself by crying out loud.