(use high-pitched childish girly voice throughout the monologue)

(walks in and excitedly examines the audience)

HELLOOOOOOOOO!!!! Hi. My name is Suzy Cupcakes and I am the princess of first grade. I like cupcakes and I like friends and I like it when people look at me and I like compliments and I like.... Waittttttttttt a minute.... (gasp) MOMMY SAID I'M NOT ALLOWED TO TALK TO STRANGERS!! (falls to knees while covering face) Now I'm going to get kidnapped and thrown into one of those scary houses on Halloween! Wait... (batters eyelashes and try to look cute) Would you guys like to be my friends? If we are friends, we aren't strangers to each other anymore! (slight pause) OKAY YAYYYYYY!!! We're friends now! I bet all my new friends would love to hear about ME, Suzy Cupcakes, aka THE PRINCESS OF FIRST GRADE!! (hugs self) I know right, I'm SOOOOOOO cool! Okay let's begin!

You may be wondering, "Oh wow! How does one cute little girl become the awesomest princess of her classmates?" Well, it all started when I lost BOTH of my front teeth in ONE day. THANKS FOR PUSHING ME OFF THE SWING, CARL!!! (dramatically wipes tears) My fellow classmates and I knew that I had the potential to become popular! (looks grumpy) Well except for that old Sally McMuffins. She told I looked funny so I pulled her hair until she cried like a baby! After that, she tattletaled on me and Ms. Aloe Vera gave me time out for a whole thirty minutes! (gasps and whispers) That was supposed to be a secret... Don't tell my mommy. (shouts) NO ONE LIKES YOU SALLY!!!! (stops shouting) I became even MORE awesome when I got the (spins around in circles) super duper prettiest coolest awesomest (stops spinning) Barbie Dreamhouse! The girls in my class were super jealous! ESPECIALLY Sally. She called me a "spoiled brat", whatever that meant. It sounded pretty bad so I told on her and she got time out. (shouts) HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT NOW, SALLY!!!! (stops shouting) Next thing you know, everyone wanted to become my friend. I threw a princess birthday party and everyone, except for Sally, came! (mischievously whispers) Even the boys... (stop whispering). And that's how I knew I became the princess of first grade! 

Now let me compare myself to.... err... the "normal" girls. Me, the princess of first grade, and my regular girl classmates are very different. We do not live the same way.  For example, I get to be the line leader EVERY SINGLE DAY! Of course there will be some of those annoying people who tattle on me for "cutting" but my dreamy bon bon Ken will always be there to defend me. That's right, Ken is my boyfriend. None of the other girls have a boyfriend yet. Ken is the sweetest and nicest boy I've ever known in the six years of my life! I mean like, he gives me animal crackers every Wednesday! Goldfish, if it's on my birthday. All the other girls are jealous of me. After all, who would like a boyfriend whose name is the same as Barbie's boyfriend? (whisper scream) MEEEEEEEEEE. (stapht the whispering) But we never kissed though... (whispers AGAIN...) Boys have cooties... I only date him for the snacks. (stop whispering-_-) Plus unlike my other fellow classmates, I get to eat macaroni and cheese on Mondays, chicken nuggets on Tuesdays, pizza on Wednesdays, unfortunately salad on Thursdays, and, best of all, DESSERT ONLY on Fridays while everyone else eats boring school food! Why you ask? Because my mommy packs lunch for me! Oh she loves me so much! 

ALSOOOOOOOOOO now that I'm in first grade, aka the first grade you'll ever experience in your whole entire life, I am proud enough to call myself a big girl! Actually I'm the BIGGEST girl in my grade. I even put on MAKE UP once... (whispers) Once again, don't tell my mommy... (stop whispering). I am astonished about how some of my classmates are treating this opportunity! (pretends to pick nose) I saw little Jennifer Walker picking her nose the other day. AND GUESS WHAT???!! She ATE it (throws away imaginary booger)!! (puts hands on hips) I am do NEITHER of those things since I'm a big girl now! 

Now that you guys know all about my wonderful little life, you are now officially invited to my birthday party. I would like all of you to bring me either a new Barbie doll or a My Little Pony plushie. During the party at lunchtime, please do not sit next to Ken. THE GOLDFISH IS FOR ME ONLY!!!! Oh and pretty please with the sugar on top, follow me on musical.ly at Princessrainbowcats100. I make Disney Princess lip syncs every Monday. Oh! The recess bell has rung now. Byeeeeeeeeeeee!