*    *   *
Tamar.

“-punishment of death should they protect soldiers of Adrelawin. I want them gathered into a single camp, and carefully guarded. They are to be treated well, but any who seem loyal to Thaddias should be seperated and placed in the dungeon until we can look into their cases more carefully.” Caspian was saying.

They were in a meeting tent, The Three listening carefully to Caspian’s solutions to their questions before bring more into the discussion. Rayndra’s other generals were not a part of the discussions, as the King still felt a need for secrecy.

She watched as Isidro nodded and took notes, trying to ensure nothing was missed. The last few weeks had been filled with the stresses of clean up, rebuilding, and reevaluating the armies.

“What is to be done with them?” Isidro asked, looking up from his notes.

Caspian was pacing, an intense look on his face that could be mistaken for anger, but she had come to know that he got that way when he was deep in thought, forgetting about monitering his facial expressions. “Hiram will retrain them, with Jamaal’s assistance. I trust they can identify those who are against us.”

Tamar found herself nodding, unable to come up with a better way to test the men and restore security to Adrelawin. “But who will rule Adrelawin?” She inquired.

The four turned to her, seeming to remember her presence. Caspian stopped his pacing very suddenly, as though struck by realization. He glanced at an hourglass on the table and scowled. “The members of the peace treaty will decide that in their next meeting, a meeting which I am now late for.”

He answered hurriedly, grabbing his robe and slipping it on. “If you three have any more pressing questions, you’ll have to ask as we walk.”

“I think we have what we need for the moment, sir.” Isidro answered, turning his attention back to the list in his hand and the map on the table. Caspian nodded and hurried out.

Tamar studied the group. Hiram and Jamaal were seated, and Isidro slowly took a seat as well, still studying his lists as he thought. The tiredness which had been there when the group first reunited was gone, replaced by a different kind of tiredness, the kind that could be drawn out for weeks on end. The kind that gave headaches and drowsyness.

She refocused on the conversation. “-We need to construct the new castle in Rayndra, change some of the secret doors and tunnels. We can’t risk knowledge of them leaking out.” Isidro was saying, tapping his chin as he thoughts.

Hiram nodded. “It will take far too long to construct a new castle. I think if we changes stuff up in the castle of Adralawin, we could make it our headquarters for the time being.”

“I agree, we need to give our full attention to the city, the people and the outer wall. If we get our defences rebuilt and prepared before building the castle, it will not only strengthen the faith of the people, but also protect us from spies. It would be too easy to look at the construction of the new castle and see exactly how it is set up.” Jamaal added.

How lucky Caspian is to have such loyal friends and bodyguards as these. They put in their full effort, where as an impersonal guard would just wait around for orders. She slowly let her mind wander, thinking again of Adrelawin’s future. Who would rule the fine city?

*    *   *
Caspian.

“Rayndra rightfully belongs to the Princess, and with a little help and training, I think she could rule it with fairness. She has seen the loyalty of Aserrawia and Laotrem, she will not break the treaty.” As much as it unsettled him, he had to be honest with both himself and the two Kings sitting across the table from him.

King Jacques was slowly shaking his head. “I don’t like the idea of you handing over Rayndra, anymore than I like the idea of King Alton’s daughter losing what is rightfully hers.”

“I’m sure the people would want you to remain in power, if they were given a choice in the matter.” King Esteban pointed out, also opposed to the idea of Caspian stepping down from the throne.

“Maybe they would, and perhaps even my men would agree with them, but it would still be wrong for the Princess not to recieve her rightful place as Queen. I just don’t see another way around it.”

The Kings were silent for a few moments. Finally King Jacques spoke up. “Ultimately, it is your decision, but if you want our approval, I would like to request a few hours to think about it.”

“Agreed.” King Esteban added, though he didn’t look any more convinced.

Caspian nodded. “Very well. What other items are to be discussed?” He could feel the pressure building behind his eyes, and knew that it would only worsen over the course of the meeting.

“Well the reconstruction of Rayndra is to be paid for in part by Adrelawin, but we still need to decide what to do with Adrelawin.” King Jacques pointed out.

“I would also like if some of the money from Adrelawin’s treasury would go towards compensating you two, as I’m sure you’ve had casualties.” Caspian interjected, determined not to give them any reason to regret stepping in and helping…

*    *   *
Tamar.

It was long after dark by the time Caspian returned to the meeting tent, and she hadn’t expected him to return. She’d been making her own list of things that needed to be covered, deciding that she needed to step into the role of being one of Rayndra’s leaders, even if it meant only helping them cover all the angles.

She had decided that since the King and The Three were so focused on restoring the security, she would focus on restoring the people. She’d been thinking of methods for determining the repairs each person needed, and calculating how much it would likely cost them.

It would be a huge step if part of the repairs could come from the treasury, it would ensure the people knew that their King cared and did everything he could to help them.

Now, as she studied him, she knew her decision to step up was the right one. His shoulders sagged slightly, the darkness under his eyes becoming more visable in the candlelight. And it was her fault. If he hadn’t stood up for her, everything would be the way it was before.

“I’m sorry.”

His head snapped up, and she realized he hadn’t seen her there. “What do you mean?”

“If I hadn’t asked for help, everything would be okay right now.” She pointed out.

He slowly shook his head, approaching her. When he was in front of her he knelt and took her hands in his, forcing her full attention to his next words. “Princess, I am more than happy to help the daughter of one of my greatest mentors. If you hadn’t asked for help, I would forever wish you had.” He paused gaze flickering away for a moment, then settling back on hers.

“I was the bodyguard to your father, and that night when Thaddias’s men snuck into the castle, I failed. I failed him, I failed Rayndra, and I failed you.” He swallowed. “Maybe, the reason you ended up back in Rayndra the night that I found you, was so that I could have a chance to make up for my mistakes.”

Something shifted in her mind, and she suddenly realized why he never really spoke of her father. He felt guilty, thought that it was his fault.

She bit her lip. In a way, he was right. It was his fault, because he hadn’t been able to secure the castle properly. But on the other hand, it was Thaddias and his men who were to blame. He had done everything he’d known to do, risked his life to protect her father… and still fallen short.

She swallowed, lowering her head. The whole situation was too awful to fully comprehend.

Part of her wanted to be angry at him, but the logical part of her knew that he had done all he could. It was a grey area, where it was his fault, yet it was justified because he’d tried his best. The conflicting concepts made it all the more unbearable, and she could only imagine being in his place.

Tamar forced back the tears that threatened to escape and looked up. He had lowered his head, unable to look her in the eye any longer. In the dim light from the candles, she could see him shaking slightly.

The realization broke her out of her state, and she let go of his hands, sliding forward and wrapping her arms around his neck tightly.

“I forgive you.” She whispered as the shaking intensified. His arms slowly wrapped around her, holding her carefully, as though she would break...
______
Author note:
Wow, was that heartbreaking or what? Can you imagine, the feeling of guilt over somone's death, yet the knowledge that you did everything you'd known to do at the time?

Okay, I want thoughts; \_/