Dear All,

Here comes CH.5 of this story, and of course the chapter is long and rather intense, due what happens in it.

I hope you will enjoy it, and I will be looking forward to reading your comments and messages, thank you 😊

I won't say much about this update, aside the fact that I believe we will have a turning point for Sergey, and I am sure you will understand what I mean by reading it.

I would like to dedicate this chapter to everyone, and in particular to Choizya as sincere thank you for your comments and feedbacks, and because you made a comment that definitely guessed it right, but I won't say much now, or else I'd spoil the future fun ^^

The song is still from Imagine Dragons, as they have a lot of music inspiring me and seeming good for this story.

Now, enjoy it!

"No space of regret can make amends for one life's opportunity misused," by Charles Dickens in "A Christmas Carol"

SERGEY POV:

"You want to get even with me for this morning, right?" Denisov growled at me and I felt my friends tensing up, but I couldn't care less. "Go ahead, dickhead, go ahead and let's see if you have enough guts to beat me by yourself, fucktard." I said nothing to that, because he knew me too well for my taste and he twisted the knife in the wound, firing my anger more and more. He snorted at me and smirked in his usual insufferable way. "You don't, right? Ha, you are so lame that it's not even funny."

"Anatoly," Taylor seemed to caution him, still standing at his side and regarding me as if wanting to make me disappear. I looked away from him and stared back at one of the persons I thought of hating the most.

"You called for it, Denisov," I retorted back, accepting his challenge.

"Bring it on, asshole," he spat back, putting some distance between himself and Taylor, always being a soft-hearted fucker, and I smiled at him, savouring the moment we would beat the shit out of each other.

There was hell inside my mind and heart, and my first punch connected with Denisov's ugly face following his challenge, making him spit a bit of blood and realizing he had taken it openly on purpose. Taylor went to move, but they closed around him in three, not wanting to face him alone and, yeah, we all were a bunch of cowards. That queer laughed at me and, without giving me time to realize it, his fist crashed against my jaw once, and then other two times, forcing me almost on my knees; but I was too pumped to feel pain or be scared, so I reacted faster than he expected, jumping on the insufferable asshole and slamming him on the ground, immediately going to hit his face. Other two guys joined and kicked him to the side, and I let them, no longer reasoning.

But Denisov knew how to fight, due to his days back in the gang, and he soon got up on his feet hitting Jonathan quite badly, for then punching me once more, grabbing Chris by his neck and throwing him on the ground, like some maniac pumped by animalistic adrenaline. I threw myself in the brawl and, suddenly, he stopped reacting. I used the chance and a kick in his guts sent him on his knees, knowing he would counterattack and get it back at me. However, it didn't happen, and I just went on.

Why had he stopped fighting back, looking like a ghost? I looked at his face and the expression of guilt on it almost knocked the breath out of me, as I recognized myself in him, hating it very much. He had found the guts to change and I envied him very much. All of this must have brought back memories and he must be dealing with his conscience and guilt, exactly like me.

I went to provoke him, kicking him once more and dropping him to the ground, as a maniacal laughter left my mouth; I was losing it and even my friends looked at me as if I were possessed. The queer didn't react and just took the beating like a punishment, not doing anything to stop me, not replying to my insults, to the taunting I threw at him letting my anger and frustration rule inside of me, letting them out completely. He didn't react and took my punches and kicks.

Until one point.

Taylor was calling for him and the edge of worry in his voice almost touched desperation, afraid Denisov would end in bad conditions. I could see the three guys struggled to keep him in check and I knew sooner or later he would break loose and screw them all.

"Anatoly!" Taylor shouted at him, dodging a punch and elbowing back the guy who had delivered it. "Anatoly!" But the queer wasn't replying, just being on his hands and knees, another kick and punch throwing him flat on the ground.

"You are just a worthless piece of crap, Denisov!" I spat at him, laughing out of mind and wanting him to get the fuck up and beat me back. "Get up, you piece of garbage!" I hissed at him, hitting once more, but he took it without reacting, like an empty shell.

What the heck was going on with him? I wanted him to fight back, at least it would make me feel less shitty and disgusting than I already felt.

"You're just trash!" I groaned as if I were insulting myself with that, anger and self-hatred mixing on all of this.

"Anatoly!" Taylor shouted once more, this time hitting another guy and trying to come over here, wanting to deal with me personally.

I stared down at Denisov, not understanding why he was taking all of this without doing anything, but, at one point, I saw him shaking his head, pushing himself up. What had happened in his twisted mind? He was smiling and sort of laughing, possibly losing his mind just like it happened with me.

He said something about a bastard being always right about him or whatever the hell he meant in his demented mood, and, when he got up, the look on his face had completely altered. The same guilt of before had completely disappeared and, after having blocked my kick easily enough, his fist painfully punched my face, sending me flat on the ground.

Fucking hell, he knew how to fight, and I was eager for that, waiting for that like craving for a fix. It was what I was waiting for the entire day.

It felt great and I wanted more of that, so I provoked him and we brawled like two crazed stray dogs, the others trying to help as Denisov knew how to hit and the same could be said for Taylor, who had sent one of my friends down cold, pretty much wishing to get his hands on me. He was my guest and I no longer cared about anything. I fucked everything up way too much. The queer and I exchanged punches and kicks and one elbow almost broke my nose, but no pain registered in my body, since the anger and hatred were obliterating every other sense.

Suddenly, Sasha and his other friends arrived and no doubts we were all screwed big time; Dmitri helped his brother and it burned seeing how they all came for him, how they truly cared for him, Taylor included.

My cousin stared at me with such a repulsed expression that his fist connected with my face before I had a chance to even register him moving. Anatoly and Sasha used to be very close friends, and apparently, they had started to slowly mend things, because the way he hit me spoke for his resentment in having dared to touch one of his friends. My cousin cared about a few people only, considering the rest not worth his time and attention, but he would have moved Hell and Heaven for the people he cared, especially for that crazy and annoying guy named Travis.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Seryozha?" Sasha growled at me as he grabbed my jacket and lifted me up ready to punch another time, for then sending another moron who tried to attack him cold to the ground. My eyes widened at the aggressiveness and power emanating from him. No wonder they used to call him beast in high school, for he truly was one. "Are you enjoying it? What are you laughing about?" I didn't realize I was laughing, and I think I was really losing it, given I heard myself really laughing.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, dear cousin of mine?" I threw back as I tried to hit him once, managing to land a punch on his face, which wasn't going to sort out much. "Helping that fucking Denisov queer...wasn't he garbage until short time ago?" I spat some blood on the ground.

What passed Sasha's eyes and face froze me on the spot and it cost me painfully, in many ways. Two guys, Chris and Denis, came to us and jumped on him, but soon Taylor reached us and easily floored one of them, planting his cold eyes on me, promising payback for this and it didn't take much to realize he could have sent me six feet under if he had wished for it, just like my cousin. He wasn't directly attacking me, but as I went for him together with Chris and Martin, who finally decided to take part entirely to this shit, the first swing from Taylor collided on my face and, before any of us could comprehend what the hell was going on, his hands were on my jacket and his face a mere breath from mine.

Shit...he moved in a way that wasn't almost human.

"You are the worst coward I have ever met and stay away from my sister, or else you won't get away with just this," he hissed with menacing tone and he threw me on the ground without any effort, making me slam against it with my back, for then landing another punch on my face. "If you must be like this, stay away from her or I might kill you." His eyes darkened more, and both of his hands were on my jacket's collar, pulling tight around my neck. "Stay away from Anatoly, do you hear me?"

I understood what he meant very well; if I had to be a coward and hurt Viola I had to better stay the fuck away, never talking or looking at her, because his words weren't an empty menace, it was clear enough, and in the meantime Sasha and his other friend named River had taken care of Chris and Martin already, leaving us there to sort it out. I saw quickly how Denisov and his twin brother clashed against my other "friends" and yeah, we were screwed indeed.

But I didn't care anymore.

"Fuck off, Taylor, you're another queer," I spat back, still coughing for the impact on the ground, as he had really threw me with wild force, and he quietly chuckled, coldly, in a way it stopped my heart for a moment. Only a moment, as something had snapped badly in me and I no longer was aware of everything happening there, what I was doing. So, I went to swing a kick he easily stopped, but I went for a punch immediately right after and sort of got him. Denisov reached for us, wanting to end this shit.

I had no idea what my sister and parents were going to say, no idea what Viola would say...I no longer knew fucking anything.

I had punched her brother and her friend.

Yeah, I had screwed things up very, very badly and I doubted there was a way to fix all of this.

No, I was sure there no longer was a chance and this was the only damn thing I knew right then without the slightest freaking doubt.

Sasha and Anatoly were in front of me as if really wishing to make me disappear, my cousin looking at me even more enraged than Denisov, disgust so clear on his face I found myself laughing once more. But Martin stopped at my side and grabbed my arm.

"Let's get the hell out of here before it gets worse." I didn't move or say anything, rooted on the spot as awareness downed on me and the madness of before slowly left.

What the fuck had I done?

"Sergey, let's leave, you hear me?" He asked again, really scared and letting go of me, ready to abandon me there if necessary, to save his own skin, and should I have blamed him? No, because we never had been real friends. Nothing like Denisov and my cousin, Denisov and Taylor, Denisov and the other guy named River now approaching us with piercing eyes, together with Dmitri, glaring at me considering whether to beat the shit out of me once more for what I had done to his twin brother.

I swallowed down seeing all of this, quickly eyeing Taylor and the bruise on his face I had given him...I was so screwed. I had hit Viola's brother.

"Suit yourself, Sergey, we're out of here," Martin hissed back as I kept there without doing anything and they all went to run away.

"Get the hell out of here," Denisov growled, and he stumbled, being in quite bad conditions, just like me, as everything began to hurt, and my head swung slightly. But he had his brother and my cousin immediately at his side, holding him, helping him with worried faces, while I had nobody.

I said nothing and did what a coward like me would do in this occasion: I ran away.

VIOLA POV:

I paled down and opened my mouth without saying anything as Anatoly's father and a tall, broadly built, intimidating looking man accompanied my brother at home explaining our parents what happened. For some time already I had been worrying as Adrian didn't reply to my message and then he sent one saying something happened with Anatoly and Sergey at the park, explaining he would be home soon enough. Never the thought of such big fight crossed my mind and I couldn't say anything for a moment as I looked at the bruises on my beloved brother's face, hearing what happened to my best friend, having to listen to the fact he was in much worse conditions.

My parents first thought it was Anatoly's fault, but I woke up from my daze and explained things quickly, seeing how his father looked at me with a grateful expression, surprised at the same time. I believed he had no idea we were friends or, maybe, he was mostly taken aback in a good way by seeing Anatoly had true friends in school.

"Mom, dad, Anatoly isn't responsible for this, believe me, he is a super nice guy, and this is all Sergey's and his friends' fault, isn't it, Adri?" He just nodded at my question and then shook his head, reading my expression all too well. I couldn't believe Sergey had done this and I felt tears threatening to roll down my eyes. He had fought with my brother and friend...he had beat them. Why?

I will never talk to him. Never ever.

"But we heard that Anatoly Denisov used to create problems in school, and we know about his reputation," my father spoke hardly, regarding Adrian with so much worry it pained me. I didn't miss how both Mr. Denisov and that man named Oleg quickly reacted to those words, and the former went to explain the situation, but my brother clarified it once and for all.

"It has nothing to do with Anatoly and yes, he might have been a problematic person in the past, but hadn't I been the same for a while?" Both mom and dad said nothing to it, just nodding once. "He had changed and he's our friend now, because, just as my Vivi said, he truly is a good person and he tried to get me out of the fight, not wanting to get me involved, but there was no way I could leave him there alone." He stared directly at our parents. "You wouldn't want me to leave a friend alone, right?"

"No, son, I wouldn't want that, and you know your mother and I deeply trust your judgement and opinion," dad finally said, going to hug him. "We were and still are just very worried about you." He pulled back and quickly observed him. "Shall we go to the hospital for a quick check up?"

"Not necessary, I have nothing broken, really," Adri only said.

"Very well, I will do it myself in a moment." He then looked at Anatoly's father. "However, we would need to settle this matter with Sergey's family, because I cannot tolerate what happened today and what if it will happen once more?"

"It will not happen again, this I can guarantee you," Mr. Denisov spoke with firm and final voice, the Russian accent quite strong and stressing a harder note in his words. The big, tall man named Oleg remained silent at his side, just observing us all with almost unnerving dark eyes, scrutinizing our reactions, observing my brother and I just a moment longer. I wondered if he was the man Anatoly talked about a few times, the person he called "impassive bastard", and perhaps he was, considered how his face never seemed to betrayed the smallest emotion, exception made when my father spoke about Anatoly's past behaviour. Oh...I understood many things then and I felt like smiling, seeing my friend found a person he could truly rely on.

"Sergey's father is a dear friend of mine and we will see into this matter personally, because his son wronged mine and we both wish to settle this matter quite privately. I am sure he is ashamed of his son's behaviour and you can rest assure he will make him amend and atone for his deeds. You and your family have my word on this," Mr. Denisov explained, the same firmness in his voice, making me understand he truly cared about Anatoly and wanted to avoid problems for Sergey's family.

I decided I liked him, even though his almost transparent light-blue and piercing eyes rendered me slightly nervous, just as his overall intimidating and commanding presence. I noticed how he was impeccably dressed in a very elegant dark suit, a light coat left open above it, while his assistant, Oleg, wore a black suit only, white shirt and a dark grey tie, tattoos peeking out from the shirt's collar. Given the way his eyes slightly twitched once before when my parents spoke about Anatoly's past behaviour, I decided to also like him. His severity and apparent lack of emotions seemed almost belonging to some magic creature, a dark elf maybe, but I also perceived kindness.

"Very well, Mr. Denisov, we will trust you for this, but no further accidents must happen or else, we will really resolve on a different course of actions," dad confirmed and went to offer his hand to Anatoly's father.

"This is understandable, but it will not be necessary," he only replied, inclining his hand and shaking hands with dad. "I apologize for what happened and on behalf of my friend, but no doubts you will soon hear from Kirill Lebedev personally."

My heart sank thinking once more what Sergey had done, how many people he had wronged with his behaviour and actions, and I couldn't imagine how his sister must have felt. I just couldn't understand why he had to do this, why he had to hurt two of the persons I loved the most. So, he truly was just playing around with me lacking sincerity, taking it all as a game, and the awareness hit me painfully. I wrapped my arms around my brother, seeking comfort and wanting to comfort him at the same time, and he immediately returned the gesture.

Mr. Denisov and his assistant, Oleg, went to leave, but I stopped them, having an important message for them to deliver.

"Please, say hi to Anatoly and tell him to get well soon and send him some of my fairy dust, please?" Mr. Denisov turned around and took a couple of steps stopping in front of me, placing a firm hand on my shoulder, his assistant remaining behind and observing everything still in complete silence.

"Thank you, Viola," he spoke with surprising kindness and my eyes widened quite a lot, especially when a thin smile appeared on his severe face. "I will tell my son and I am sure he will be very happy to hear directly from you." I smiled back and nodded enthusiastically.

"I will call him later, I promise, and thank you for taking Adrian back home."

"This was the least we could do in this situation and I already thanked your brother for staying beside Tolya in such moment. Not everyone would have done that." He looked at my parents. "Thank you for letting me settle this matter personally and you have my word no additional harm will come to your son from Sergey Kirillievich Lebedev." I swallowed down at the tone of his voice and, as they went to leave, I noticed how the man called Oleg quickly glanced at me and inclined his head once.

Oh...he truly was the person Anatoly spoke about and I felt happy for him, since that small gesture made me see the kindness and good heart in him. Yep, I really liked him.

When they left, dad quickly checked Adrian's conditions and after making sure he truly was fine, the two of us were in the living room, me having prepared hot chocolate and a huge slice of cake for my brother, asking whether anything hurt and if he wanted a more comfortable pillow or anything else, maybe some ice. Mom stayed with us for a while and then left, giving us some time alone, having understood we had a lot to talk about. When he had basically finished explaining everything that happened, my phone rang, and the number of Darya appeared on it. I replied at first.

"Darya!" I exclaimed super surprised and she hesitated a moment on the other side of the phone. "Are you alright?"

"Viola, I am so sorry for what my brother did to yours and to Anatoly, for what he told you in school...he is such a douchebag that I would personally punch him for that, were he not already in quite bad shape." Something knotted in my belly and throat as I heard those words, remembering everything and hearing he also was hurting. "I am so sorry, really...how his Adrian? My dad will come soon to visit you and he is out of his mind, you have no idea." Her voice was shaking, and I wished I could hug her to make her feel better.

"Please, don't say sorry, because it wasn't your fault and really, Adrian is fine now, but I think Anatoly is in worse conditions." My brother nodded to confirm it and I sighed, not knowing what I could do, just being very upset at Sergey for what he had done, for the many people he had directly and indirectly hurt. "Can we meet soon?" I asked, hoping she wouldn't want to avoid me.

"You mean it?" She asked with incredulous voice and I didn't understand why, since it really wasn't her fault and I was sure she had tried to make him reason. She truly cared about her brother.

"Of course, Darya, why wouldn't I want to see you again?"

"Because I have a stupid and jerk-like brother, but I swear, Viola, I will kick some sense in his stupid head and make him regret what he did, even though, I believe he already is regretting it."

I said nothing to that, because right then I didn't exactly care about him and I didn't know whether that was a sincere emotion or he was just doing it for the sake of the situation, to avoid harder punishment, because, after having met Anatoly's father, I could only try to imagine what awaited Sergey. Also, I remembered Adrian told me his cousin, Aleksandr, had been present to the fight and apparently, he was another one who would give him a very hard time. And it was all more than deserved. He should have never dared to hurt my beloved brother and friend, and the idea made me so upset I wished to turn him into some ugly creature.

"It's not your fault, but he should have never hurt Adri and Anatoly," I only replied, and she sighed loudly.

"I know and, believe me, our parents are out of their mind and dad will give him a hell of a time because of that. I hope he will reflect on his own mistakes." She fell silent for a moment and then sighed again. "Just please say hi to your brother and tell him I am very sorry for what happened, please?" I passed the phone to Adrian, who had listened to the conversation with interest.

"Hello Darya, thank you for your concern and do not worry for me, please, I am fine and it's not so easy to get me, plus, I must say I also hit back." I swallowed down as I noticed how his eyes had hardened and became cold. "For what he had dared to say to my sister and also for attacking Anatoly."

"I am sorry for everything," she only added, and he smiled less coldly.

"It's alright, but I warned him, and he better take my words seriously, so please do me the favour to pass him this message once more, will you? Gracias," Adrian said, for then passing the phone back to me.

"Darya, it's me, let's meet this week whenever you have time," I proposed, and she softly laughed.

"Thank you, Viola, this is all I can say now, along with expressing once more how sorry I truly feel for what happened."

After that, we finished the call and I went back taking good care of my brother, feeling a hole inside of me whenever I thought about what Sergey had done, feeling terribly silly for having almost trusted him thinking he was different, believing he could also change and be another kinder person, someone who could become my friend. How wrong was I about that! I shook my head and hugged Adrian tightly once more.

"Do you need anything?" I asked him and he smiled softly, shaking his head.

"No, preciosa, your hot chocolate and love are enough to make me feel already good." I kissed his cheek and he chuckled. "Do you want to call Anatoly?"

"Yes, I think he needs some of my magic fairy-dust."

"He definitely needs it, and maybe we could go visit him tomorrow, what do you think?" I widened my eyes and sprang up standing on my feet clapping my hands super excited at the idea.

"Yes! I would love that!" I immediately cheered, for then calming down and thinking about it. "Maybe he doesn't want me to disturb him, maybe he needs to rest and be alone, because I really don't want to annoy him and be...ouch!" I yelped as Adrian had playfully pinched my nose.

"I am sure he would be happy to see you, even if we both know he will show otherwise," he mused and I giggled, since my brother was probably very right about that, especially because I believed Anatoly was slight shy, something that all considered was very cute about him.

SERGEY POV:

When I came back home in whatever conditions I was, my mother almost fainted at the view and immediately worried about me, wanting to call an ambulance or driving me to the hospital, thinking something bad had happened to me and it surprised me. I never thought she would honestly worry so much about me. However, I explained her what truly happened, not seeing the point in keeping it hidden or lying about it, as for sure both Denisov and Taylor's parents were going to either call or show up soon enough. Her face paled down, and she looked at me as if looking at someone she didn't know.

"How could you, Seryozha?" She whispered, her eyes a mixture of pain, worry and very vivid disappointment. I had nothing to reply to that, so I kept silent, her disbelief in my actions so strong for a moment I almost thought it never happened, but the cut in my mouth, the pain in my nose and hands and entire body for the brawling and fighting reminded me it was all very real. All excruciatingly and freaking real, and it hurt, more than on the physical level. "I have no idea how your father will react to this, but be sure he will be very upset and you'll have to be careful from now on, because we cannot always excuse your actions, nor put up with them, you must change this, because you are no longer a child, Seryozha...your actions generate consequences and you must think about this very carefully."

She was right, she was damn right and I winced as my head was about to kill me for the pain, a couple of cuts on my knuckles and face, not to mention my entire body felt like as if a huge tractor drove over it. My nose wasn't broken by mere luck, but one tooth was slightly chipped. Mom noticed it and she sighed out, the same worry of before back on her face. I had also managed to hurt her, and I didn't want to imagine how Dasha was going to take it.

"We will call Angela and hopefully she will have time to see you." Angela was a friend of her who worked as doctor and mom quickly drove me there after having called, checking whether I had anything broken. It turned out nothing was broken, as I expected, just a dislocated finger that would heal soon enough, along with some stitches on my upper lip, a few bruises and cuts that were going to disappear with due time, if I used the cream she prescribed me.

When we drove back home, my mother remained completely silent and the same attitude was kept for the entire time, until of course, the queer's father and that scary as hell man he had for assistance appeared at our door, right when my father arrived home after work, hearing what happened from mom, and hell broke down for me. I had never seen him so angry and disappointed, and the fact was that he didn't say much, just a few words that froze and scared me at the same time, because I knew he wasn't messing around or just speaking for the sake of it.

"You will change this troublesome and disgraceful behaviour of yours, son, I swear to God you will change and fix this situation, because your actions and mistakes are shaming our family and creating no little troubles," he spoke with assertive and commanding voice, keeping it quieter than he usually did, his dark blue eyes set on mine as if he tried to pound some sense in me, and I just listened to every word in dead silence. Yeah, because all inside of me was now deadly silent and quiet, simply letting me taste and drown in my own mistakes and regret. "Things will be different, and you will do as I say, do you hear me?" His voice altered prey of the resentment and disappointment that must have thundered inside of him. "I asked if you heard me and I expect a reply, Sergey Kirillievich."

"Yes," I only dared to utter out and he stood up, towering down on me for then planting a hard and almost painful hand on my shoulder, forcing me to look back at him.

"I did not hear you well," he said with firmer and more upset voice and, I swallowed down seeing the expression on his face, seeing how mom was looking at me shaking her head, knowing Darya was beyond mad and not exactly wanting to talk to me. "Speak!" My father ordered and I winced at the booming sound of his voice, finally exploding.

"Yes, sir, I will change," I said automatically, but he narrowed his eyes and he understood I hadn't meant those words, since I was still in some personal hell and I didn't know what the heck had to be done.

"Do not dare to mock me, son, because you either start to behave as you should or there will be consequences you do not want to face, believe me." I almost took a step back, but his grip kept me in place under his piercing and thundering glare. "You are lucky that none of them want to charge you legally for what you did, but it does not change the fact your actions make me feel extremely ashamed and I never thought you would reach such low levels." He fell silent for a brief moment and then he spoke, his words slapping me harder than I expected.

"You disappointed me more than I ever thought possible, Sergey Kirillievich. Now, go back to your room and reflect upon your own mistakes and come back only when summoned by either me or your mother." I felt cold and I refrained from shivering right there in front of them, just as I felt my head about to explode, but I said nothing, knowing I sure didn't deserve their concern. "You will devote your days only to studying and swimming, as soon as your finger heals, do you hear me? And you will take actions to atone for your deplorable behaviour, am I understood?"

"Yes, sir," I only uttered, letting my eyes drop to the floor, no longer able to sustain his stare, which reflected too many emotions and feelings, making me see what a piece of crap I really was, making me see I hadn't only screwed things up with Viola, but also with my family. Opening my eyes on how lowly I had truly stepped, not sure there was a chance to make amends for my too many mistakes, for all the people I had hurt in the process of pitying and hating myself. I went to walk away, but he called me back.

"One last thing, Sergey Kirillievich." I swallowed down, forcing myself not to show the physical pain in which I was. "You also had a fight with your cousin Sasha, correct?" I nodded and winced slightly as the stitches on my lip stung, but my father remained in front of me unfazed by that, only mom observing me concerned. He shook his head and sighed out, massaging his forehead, looking very tired. "My brother called me and he wasn't exactly happy, just as my friend Yevgeny wasn't happy about this, but I must thank him very much, because he smoothed things with the Taylors, since they wanted to charge you for hitting their son."

I kept staring at the floor, unable to look at the expression in his eyes, unable to face my own guilt and regret.

"I will now go to visit them, because this is the least I can do in this situation and I shall apologize for you, too, but mind my words very carefully, son: you will start to behave or you will regret it." With that, he left his studio together with my mother and I walked to my room, to find Dasha waiting for me in there, the same expression of my father on her face.

"What the heck is wrong with you?" She fired out immediately, planting her hands on the hips and shaking her head. "Look at you...you're all broken and bruised and how could you do this to Viola's brother and to Anatoly? Not to mention you even fought against Sasha! Just explain me because I swear, I cannot understand you, no matter how hard I try."

"I don't want to talk about it, leave me alone," I said with too harsh voice than intended, since I hadn't it against her, but she walked to me and snatched my shirt.

"Are you satisfied now that you got the fight you were looking for, that someone beat you up?" I widened my eyes and then grimaced at the sudden pain blasting in both my head and mouth, her face and expression softening, concern for her asshole brother clear in her eyes. How had she guessed that? "Don't look so shocked, because you seemed like a haunted ghost in the past days and I knew nothing good was about to come out from that and I was right, I'm just sorry I couldn't do anything to prevent it."

"It's not your fault."

"I know," she said, and I glanced away, the shame striking me harder than the pain I felt in that moment. "But I'm still your sister and I should have tried to help you better." I shook my head and cursed in my mind as even that hurt me. Fuck, Denisov, Taylor and my cousin sure beat me up nicely and what I was complaining about? I had no right to do so.

"No, you couldn't have done anything, and you know it, so just please leave me alone for a while now." She signed out and moved away, for then turning back to look at me before leaving my room.

"Do you need painkiller or something?" I shook my head and then, her following words froze me. "I called Viola a short while ago, while mom and dad spoke to you, and her brother made sure I would repeat you the same message he gave you this afternoon, not to mention she sounded terrible, saying you should have never hit her brother and friend, and she is right, Seryozha; you should have never done something like that." She opened the door and went to leave. "You will regret it, and very much."

She was right; I was going to regret it very much and I sank in my bed, swearing quietly at the jerk and asshole I was, trying to think what I could do, if I still could do anything. My head was splitting in pieces for the pain, as I refused to take painkillers to feel all of this completely and I reached for my phone, searching for the Viola's Instagram profile where those pictures with kids in some place had been taken. She wrote the name of the institute there and I quickly looked it up on the Internet.

Dasha had been right: I was already regretting everything, big hell painful time. Plus, my father also was right: I had to change, because I had touched the bottom and the air there was impossible to breathe, not to mention the stink floating all around.

VIOLA POV:

Anatoly didn't come to school the following day, as he needed to rest after the fight. I sent him a message in the morning, but he hadn't replied yet, so I gave him time, not wanting to push him too much. Adri and I planned to visit him later in the afternoon, as we both were worried and just wanted to see our friend. Sharon and Cameron widened their eyes in complete shock when they noticed the bruises on Adrian's face, as it was something that basically never happened before.

"What happened to you?" Cammie asked honestly concerned and, after explaining yesterday's events, he said something neither my brother nor I very much liked. "Of course, it had to do with Anatoly, because he used to be friend with that other blockhead, right? And now they fight every day in school and look at what that brought?"

Sharon shot me a very surprised look and I stomped a foot down going to reply to his rather preposterous words, but as usual it was Adri who quieted everything down and silenced him without much effort.

"Anatoly has nothing to do with this and I kindly ask you to not repeat such words, especially in front of him." My brother observed him intently, just briefly smiling. "He tried to get me out of the fight, distracting them, but I think you know I'd never leave a friend in need alone, so don't repeat this anymore, okay?"

"Sure, I didn't mean to upset you," my friend nervously replied, and I just sighed out.

"You didn't upset me, but you need to think sometimes before opening your mouth and think carefully about Anatoly," he spoke in his usual calm way, smiling a bit more. "Remember something very well; we all do mistakes, each and all of us, in a way or another."

Adri was absolutely right, and I always loved his compassion and deep understanding of the people around him, while I really didn't comprehend how Cameron could speak so badly of Anatoly, especially in this situation. He hadn't brought anything upon us, and it wasn't his fault if Sergey and his friends targeted him; and yes, he had made some big mistakes in the past, behaving in a rather bad way, but...I froze on the spot, just as if a fairy had casted a spell of ice on me. My brother's words turned around in my mind in circles and my thoughts ran to Sergey immediately, aware he had also committed many mistakes. I wasn't sure what I would do if he also was going to change...would I give him another chance? The fact I was unsure about that almost scared me.

"Viola, something wrong?" Sharon asked as she took a book from her locker. I just smiled at her and shook my head, but she knew me too well. "You can tell me later," she whispered, and I smiled at her even more.

We went to our first class and we both remained a bit behind; I had no need to talk to Adrian, for I was sure he had already grasped it in me, sensing my doubts and discomfort, so he just gave me time and his support if the occasion ever presented itself.

"What is it, Vi? You looked like stunned before and so troubled that I didn't like it one bit, believe me," Sharon began, and I took a deep breath, reordering all my thoughts.

"I was thinking about Sergey, to be honest, and I feel terribly guilty for doing so, because I thought about him even on Saturday during my date with Ryan," I started to explain and she just patiently listened to me. "Adri is right in saying we all do mistakes and we both know how Anatoly used to be in school, right? You and Cameron were sort of scared of him at first, especially Cam, which is very much normal and understandable, but he changed so much, and he is such a nice person, with a huge heart and so..."

"Yes, I do really like him, even though I can tell he still doesn't want to get much involved with me or so," she admitted with a grin, for then shrugging. "He's super-hot, I must say this, but well, aside the fact he is gay, I honestly would just like to be closer to him as friend, that's all."

"Just give him some time," I suggested, and she nodded.

"Of course, because I'm sure we both like the same music and he'd find me a badass one once he'd see me playing the electric guitar in the band, right?"

"Oh absolutely!" I clapped my hands together, but she halted and stepped in front of me.

"Back to what you were thinking about, correct me if I am wrong, but I doubt I am: right now you are thinking that if Sergey will change and be the nice person he showed you days ago when alone, you are not sure whether you will give him a second change or not, correct?" I nodded and then she poked my nose, which caused me to yelp and have some students looking at us curiously. "That's plain silly, I mean, plain silly for you to worry about and thinking something super stupid like you're a bad person or so."

"But..." she poked my nose again.

"I'm not done, Vi," she told me, and I giggled at her serious expression. "You're mad now and why shouldn't you be mad at that jerk? He behaved like a colossal blockhead who really deserves to be hit with my Harley Quinn's baseball bat on his jerk-like head, insulting you, calling you in a way I really thought of spitting in his meal or punch him, and then, he provoked a fight involving Anatoly and Adrian, and you know how much I love Adri...so I'm also very mad at him, very, very much, and right now all I want to do is to slap him." I blinked twice and then hugged her tightly. "Stop thinking stupid things, alright? Maybe he will change and maybe not, because we both know not everyone wants to make it up or be a better person, right?" She was very right about that. "So, if the sneering jerk will change and stop looking like he always eats dozen of lemons every day, barking around and behaving like an award winning douchebag, well then, only then, you will see what to do, alright?"

"Thank you, Sharon," I honestly said, hugging her even more. "Let's go to class?" I asked pulling back and catching Audrey staring at us with an expression that was a mixture of sadness and loneliness. I waved at her, but she just looked away, going for her first class.

"She was dating Sergey, right?" I nodded my answer. "I wonder what she thinks of him now, knowing what happened, speaking of which, I didn't see him today in school." Sharon was right, I also hadn't spotted Sergey today and the same for his other two friends, Martin and Chris. It was good, because at the moment I had no idea how I could have faced him.

I let my eyes wander around Anatoly's bedroom, registering the fact I never expected it to find it so tidy and stocked with so many books, quite simple all in all, but reflecting his personality at the same time. He had a motorbike helmet placed on the desk, a leather jacket from Kawasaki hanging on a chair, magazines of motorbikes piled on a shelf and I realized he truly had a funny and super outgoing twin brother. Wow, they really looked like identical twin brothers, even though Anatoly's eyes held a silvery touch and his smiles were less broad, since Dmitri, or Dima as he insisted to call him, surely grinned like a full moon. I also liked his boyfriend, Jasper, who was super cute and adorably nice.

His friends were all wonderful and even the quite cold Aleksandr proved to be an extremely kind person, obviously very attached to Anatoly. I wanted to ask him many questions but going to enquire about his cousin wasn't going to be a good idea and it was clear by the quick comment he delivered when Adrian asked how he felt after the fight.

"I am good, thank you for asking, but I can guarantee you that my shithead cousin is paying for it, very much so," he spoke with such hard and upset voice that I almost shivered, especially in seeing how he clenched his jaw and fists, as if recalling the events of the past day. Adri had just smiled and shrugged, saying he sure deserved it and I knew he was still very upset for what Sergey told me.

River approached me for a quick chat and he was so handsome with those strikingly, deep blue eyes that I felt almost blushing while talking to him, since he also possessed a strong charm, similarly to my brother, but different at the same time. I noticed he then spoke with Adrian, who seemed very much at ease and unaffected by him; I liked him and the fact he asked me how Anatoly was doing in school touched my heart. His friends truly cared about him and let's not talk about his mother! Aside the fact that Mrs. Denisov, or Natasha as she pointed out twice, was absolutely beautiful, she was terribly sweet and adorable, treating us all with so much open and sincere kindness you could only love her. Dima took his broad smile from her, while Anatoly from his father.

I just loved all his friends, also Derek who chatted faster than I did and cracked jokes after jokes, or Hayden, who had just recently met Anatoly and still showed concern. I was happy Anatoly hadn't minded our visit and meeting them, so I took the chance to sit right beside him, whispering something quietly in his ear.

"You truly love to read," I murmured, and he first shot me a worried look, for then relaxing. "I won't say it to anyone, don't worry," I reassured him, and he shook his head.

"I think pretty much everyone around me knows and guess what? The chipmunk brought me a Star Wars novel to read so that I wouldn't get bored. A Star Wars novel to me, what am I? A huge nerd?" He grumbled out and I giggled right there in front of him, making him arch his brows and pinch my cheek. "What the hell are you laughing about, fairy doll?"

"Oh shut up, Anatoly, you're a big and fabulous nerd and I really love you, and don't you dare to deny it," I joked, and he pinched my cheek again, for then quietly chuckling.

"Fuck, I am screwed, right? Am I part now of some new tea-party nerdy club?" I shook my head trying not to laugh too much and he quickly smiled at me, seeing he winced for a cut on his lips. "Argh, that jerk really is a pain in the ass and I hope he's also crawling around in pain." Yeah, when I first saw Anatoly I paled down, because he truly looked in bad conditions, bruises and cuts on his face and hands, limping a bit and showing a swollen lip, along with a black eye. It all rendered me even more mad at Sergey! "How's the jerk doing? Did he show his beaten up snout in school?"

"No," I only said, looking away from him, and he immediately detected something in me.

"What's up, Vi?"

"Nothing," I replied, because I really didn't want to bother him and there wasn't much to say or comment about the entire situation. Anatoly observed me intently and then sighed out.

"Hey, don't keep things for yourself, OK? We are friends, if you ever...you know what, and don't make me say sappy things, alright? I'm not a cheesy moron like my brother and his chipmunk."

"Chipmunk?" I just couldn't resist his sense of humour and burst out laughing.

"He looks like a chipmunk and they are a couple of cheesy fairies," he grunted out and I laughed more, seeing how both Adrian and River looked at us, the latter one smiling in a way that was both very tender but also quite compelling, so my eyes darted away. "He's a charmer, he's always been a damn one and he'd go head to head with Adrian in this, even though your brother doesn't really use it much, right?" I nodded and he remained silent for a moment. "Vi, thanks for coming today," he quietly murmured, and I carefully gave him a kiss on the cheek, for then blowing some of my magic fairy dust at him.

"There, for you to get well soon, also many rainbow hugs to you, because we all miss you in school, and both Sharon and Cammie told me to say hi to you."

"The shrimp said that?" He asked sceptically and I just smiled, since he actually hadn't said anything of the sort and Anatoly just shrugged his shoulders. "Ah whatever, I can't get everyone liking me but say thanks and hi to your weird friend, Sharon, alright?" I nodded, knowing she would be super happy about this, and then, I ventured out a question.

"Yesterday, I met your father and that man, Oleg; they drove my brother home and your father spoke to my parents, reassuring them he would see in this matter." He swallowed down when I mentioned the name of that man. "Can I ask you if he is the one you sometimes call impassive bastard?" He didn't say anything at first and I was worried I went too far, but then he signed out and nodded.

"Yeah, he's the one and well, you got your idea why I call him like that, I guess." I just grinned, sensing a certain clash of emotions I decided to not ask about, and then giggled. "What are you laughing about?"

"I just really like your family and friends," I honestly confessed, and he tried to hide a smile by looking to the other side. "Darya called me last night."

"The jerk's sister?"

"Yeah and she told me that their parents are extremely mad at him and I also am, and I really would like to turn him into some ugly creature, maybe with three heads and smelly breath or whatever is hideous." He chuckled and my eyes darted at him surprised. "I mean it!"

"He doesn't need to be turned into something uglier than he already is, believe me, and yeah, I'm sure his parents, especially his father, are chewing his head off, because I know Kirill is very strict in general and well, he also heard from the Mighty Sasha's father, given what happened." I understood Sasha was how he called Aleksandr and well, he had a point in calling him Mighty, given the rather impressive size of his body, the broad shoulders and overall, very commanding presence. I had observed him for a bit, trying to see resemblances with Sergey, but I saw almost none, aside the fact they both seemed to keep a certain distance from strangers, a touch of coldness in both of their glances, and the sharpness in the face. I wondered what Aleksandr thought of his cousin and I could only try to imagine he wasn't happy about the situation.

"I am really sorry for what happened yesterday," I murmured out, once more feeling the same sadness of the previous day, when Adrian explained me everything, almost not wanting to believe it at first.

"He got it back, don't worry, and I took the liberty of giving him a punch for how he called you in school," he snorted out and I only smiled. "Hey Vi, don't worry much about me, because I'm a tough moron, really." There was something different in him, as if a very heavy weight had been lifted from his shoulders and I just quickly and very carefully hugged him. "Don't get too used to this," he said with apparently annoyed voice, but I didn't miss how he returned the gesture spontaneously, wrapping his uninjured arm around me, pulling me closer to him.

After that, I gave him some space and he discreetly spoke with Aleksandr, while I took some pictures with Dima and Jasper, for then talking more with Derek and Hayden, seeing they both had absolutely gorgeous girlfriends. I was just so happy I felt almost as if high on too much sugar, so, I jumped back to Anatoly, and his friend, Aleksandr, regarded me with an amused glance, not as cold as before.

"I love your friends! We should do something together once you feel good," I proposed clapping my hands together and he rolled his eyes, but before he could say anything, Derek joined us and rested his elbow on my shoulder.

"Yeah, let's do something together, I am up for that."

"Me, too, right baby?" Anatoly's twin brother cheered, his boyfriend nodding and smiling at me directly. He was so cute and sweet that I wished to hug him, but I refrained from that, not wanting to scare him or make him feel uncomfortable. Adrian, River and Aleksandr just showed a very amused expression, the latter one smirking at Anatoly, who rolled his eyes once more and snorted out something in Russian.

"Fine, sometime, let's do something together," he finally said, and I cheered super happy, because he had quickly winked and smiled at me.

SERGEY POV – A FEW DAYS LATER:

Viola hadn't spoken to me in days nor hadn't looked at me at all in school, treating me as if I didn't exist, brushing away my two attempts of approaching her, in desperate need to apologize for what I had done and said to her. But trying to get close to her was pretty much impossible, because her freakish brother never left her side and told me to beat it with his eyes, not to mention how her two friends regarded me as you'd look at a piece of stinky trash.

Dasha had been right in saying it had been my fault and nobody else's and now I was paying for it, seeing that apologizing to Viola was harder than I thought. My "friends" had kept a bit of distance from me as soon as they realized I felt sorry for what happened, as soon as it came out clear that I had to behave decently and avoid partying and such; Martin, Chris and Jonathan remained around as usual, and it wasn't out of good will or heart. I had an idea they enjoyed seeing me so miserable, but at least Alexa had given me a break.

However, Audrey looked both upset and worried, having tried to call me twice in the past days. She had also come to visit me at home, but I wasn't allowed to meet anyone. She had been the only one truly caring for me, aside my sister, of course; but well, Dasha was still very mad and even more disappointed with me.

I tried to find a way to talk to Viola alone but it never came for days, given she really avoided me as if I were some uncurable disease; therefore patience was what I had to force in myself, which was quite the task all considered, but one day the chance presented itself, and it was just a bit of luck. She had stayed in school a bit later due to the upcoming Halloween party and I had stayed over because a professor lectured me on having zoned out during his class. I had to pull my shit together in terms of grades or I was never going to set feet out of my bedroom unless it was for school or swimming practice.

Viola was finally alone, and I followed her, grabbing her hand when I reached for her, letting immediately go when she jumped on the spot scared, a small rabbit feeling trapped. Her eyes scanned me revealing fear and a very high tense state, which was only normal; but then, they hardened as she took a couple of steps back and I swallowed down.

Jerk of the year was no longer enough to describe it.

They should have appointed me the jerk of human history, period.

"What do you want?" She asked with clipped voice and I felt almost sick, because I never thought she could use such cold and distant tone.

"I want to talk to you, Viola," I said with uncertain voice and she shook her head, going to turn around, the long purple-pink hair floating around her beautiful, slender figure, as usual dressed in some bizarre yet perfect on her way.

"I don't have time and we have nothing to talk about," she said while walking away, but I stopped her by marching right in front of her.

"Wait, please, I must really talk to you," I insisted, this time my voice firmer and she widened her eyes, looking positively scared of me. Argh...I hated to see that so much, but I couldn't blame her, since I had brought this upon myself. "Just a few minutes, alright?" She said nothing and waited, having put some distance between us, something that hit me more painfully than I expected.

I wanted to talk to her and tell her how I really felt, but my mouth didn't listen to my brain and I just stared there like an idiot, saying nothing and pretty much panicking. What the hell was wrong with me? She drilled me with her eyes and then exhaled, which wasn't a good sign.

"Sergey, why did you have to behave like that?" She looked at me with an expression I had never once seen on her face, so contrasting with her general sweet personality, and it slapped me badly. I said nothing and she shook her head, sighing out once more. "Well, I know why, and you disappointed me even more."

I disappointed her, and it was there damn evident and loud in the words and in her eyes. I swallowed down and just silently stared at her, faking a sneer I so wanted to wipe away, because in truth all I wanted to do was apologizing, but I didn't have the guts for that. She had understood me, and it stung even more.

Her words hit way more than what my father told me, the way he stared at me, the way my mother looked at me almost not recognizing me, what Anatoly's father said. They smacked and scared me more than what that man called Oleg very quietly muttered to me, promising quite the treatment if I were to beat the shit out of Denisov another time. I felt like an insignificant piece of shit and I had no idea what to say or do to change it.

I fucked it up.

"You have nothing to say? I thought you were trying to change or, I don't know, maybe hate Anatoly less. I know he also did many bad things, but I believe he had his own reasons, which of course cannot be used as excuses, yes, but now he does everything in his power to be different, to be the real Anatoly. He is my friend and I love him as such. What are your reasons? Why did you take your anger out on him, on my brother? Why did you hit Adri?" I said nothing to it and I just did what a piece of shit like me would.

"It's none of your business, weirdo. Who do you think you are for lecturing me? I sure don't care about any of this." I saw how my words affected her and I internally cringed. It was a slap on her face, and I regretted it immediately. Why did I have to behave like this with such sweet girl? She stared at me with harder eyes, pretty much repeating me I let her down and that what she believed having seen in me wasn't real. Then she walked away, her silence being very eloquent, the bricks of the wall between us piling up fast.

I deserved it, yes, I did, but whining brought me nowhere, so I ran after her, again grabbing her wrist and forcing her to stop.

"Wait, I'm sorry, I'm an idiot and that is not what I wanted to say, give me a moment, please. I am sorry, really."

I let go of her wrist and I noticed how she rubbed it, minding my touch. I repressed whatever the gesture moved inside of me and took a deep breath, fighting against my many clashing and crazed emotions, as I felt like going out of mind. There was a lot to apologize for, the list was long, but first things first. There was one thing in particular I regretted almost more than anything else.

"I am sorry I called you in that way," I told her, feeling so bad I couldn't even phrase it with normal words, feeling like having betrayed her and it hurt me more than it must have hurt her.

"It doesn't really matter, because I know what you think of me, so I no longer care," she replied drily, not exactly looking at me and not because of tension or anything of the sort, but for the simple and very painful reason she couldn't stand my sight, and how to blame her? I sank so low that I could shake hands with Denisov, considered all the shit he did. But no, this was bullshit, because he proved to be better than I was.

"It's not what I think of you," I immediately went to explain, "you should know it and..." she stopped me by shaking her head and sighing in a way that broke me.

"It doesn't matter, really, since you lied to me, you-you hurt me, and I don't understand you anymore."

Fuck. I did hurt her, and she admitted it without any hesitation.

"What do you mean?" I asked, my heart sinking down in my guts and feeling heavier than a huge rock, no longer beating, my mouth dry and feeling a very bitter taste on my tongue.

"I thought I saw a different Sergey, someone nice and not this one always fighting and saying such things, and it confused me, you really confused me and casted a false spell on me, making me think you were different, and I liked you, I liked that Sergey very much, but maybe it wasn't the real you, right? I'm sure it wasn't."

The punches I received from Denisov and my cousin hurt nothing compared to her words and the tone of her voice, the biting and burning disappointment bright in her eyes, echoing in her voice. I had ruined everything, and I didn't even know if there was a way to fix things with her. She liked my real self, but I no longer was sure what was my true self and what an illusion created over the past years. Jesus...I fucked things up very much.

"I thought you wanted to change," she whispered, and I ached to get closer to touch her, trying to explain I was just a gigantic coward and jerk who wanted to desperately change.

Then I paused a moment. Did I really want it? My eyes were glued on her figure, especially at her face and something painfully gripped at my guts. Why did I tell her those words? Why did I behave in such low way? Yet, annoyance got me as I believed she wished I changed like that queer, following his fucking example, just as my father kept repeating me day and night, every freaking day. Repeating me that I should have followed my cousin's steps instead of wasting my time as I did, smearing our family's name with my deeds and behaviour; of course, Sasha was fucking perfect and never once disappointed his father.

"Like Denisov?" I snapped back, my voice carrying a growling note, but it was a bit too harsh, as I had no right to let out my irritation, and it got her. I closed my eyes and clenched my fists, reminding myself what a piece of crap I was for keeping up with this shitty attitude. All in all, my old man had a point and admitting it burned. It was nobody's fault I got into this situation and Denisov punched me because I fucking deserved it and because, at one point, it was what I wanted, what I needed, and I was beginning to think the queer had realized it.

"No," she however firmly answered, her eyes directly drilling holes in mine, openly glancing at me for the first time since we began to talk, since I ran after her wanting to somehow apologize, a very pathetic attempt that had sorted out nothing. "Not like Anatoly, but like yourself. I thought you really wanted to be different, to be your true self, the real Sergey who isn't so bitter and deceiving, but it was a lie. Was it? Or not?" She was straightforward to a point that left me breathless. She was simply amazing.

"No," I tried to say but she shook her head once more and took two steps back, her eyes casting a hurt expression and I didn't know what to do or say to make it better, to make her feel better. I wanted to physically reach for her and grab her hand, but she would have just bolted away like some scared rabbit.

"Don't make fun of me in such way, Sergey, pretending to be nice and then behaving in the opposite way with your friends, probably laughing at my naivety for believing in everything and everyone, don't do it, please. I know how I am, but I cannot change it or lie to myself."

"I didn't, Viola, listen to me," I pleaded, taking a step towards her, but she put more distance between us and lifted her hands in front of her against me, as to say not to get any closer. Was she scared of me to such extent?

"Stop it, I don't believe you, because you disappointed me too much and I cannot trust you now...I'm sorry, Sergey, I know I'm saying something not nice and maybe unfair, but I can't help it. You beat my brother and my best friend, two persons I love with all my heart." She turned around and left, walking quickly with her long purple-pink hair hiding her face, but the hurt expression on her beautiful eyes will never stop haunting me, I knew it; it will never stop making me feel like the lowest and worst piece of garbage and crap.

I closed my eyes and hissed out my self-hate and the rage thundering inside of me, for what I had done. No wonder my father always preferred Sasha and no wonder my cousin couldn't stand me. It was a miracle my sister kept staying by my side, always very patient, never letting go, always trying to slap some sense in me, which seemed to never really get into my retarded head. Well, Viola sure managed to slap something else in me and I could only stare at her walking away from me, afraid of having screwed every possible chance. I looked at my hands and realized how stupid and lonely I was.

How someone like me could possibly deserve such a pure, sweet and gentle girl? I gritted my teeth and hissed out my frustration, because her words had been the ones that hit me the most, the ones that I felt on my skin and punched my heart, the ones that carved a wound in me.

Yeah, I risked getting into gigantic troubles that could have created even bigger ones for my parents, but somehow together with Denisov's father they smoothed things down with Viola's family, not to mention that scary man working as assistant for the Denisov pretty much wished to give me the same treatment I reserved for their precious queer. That man didn't bother to cover the fact he had wished to send me six feet under and his words made it very clear. I swallowed down, thinking what I had risked and how my parents must have felt.

My father threatened to lock me in my room and throw the key away, saying he never imagined I could sink so low and create our family so many problems, shaming our name. We all knew he was a man of strong principles and strict values, exactly like my uncle. My mother didn't want to talk to me much, still upset for what happened, being someone who needed her time to process the events and decide how to handle the situation with me, and Dasha...my sister had said nothing in the past days, giving me some time to cook in my own misery and mistakes. My cousin Sasha wished to break my nose for having touched his precious friends and because, let's be honest, he never was able to stand me. And did it all bother me? Yeah, it did of course, but not as much as Viola's words and the expression in her eyes.

I felt like crumbling in pieces. I felt like having touched the bottom and it smelled badly, it was dark, and it sucked the air out of my lungs. It shrank around me and I felt it was impossible to breath, almost suffocating. Had Denisov experienced a similar emotion? Recently I often wondered what the fuck had actually happened to him. I never understood and never asked, somehow relieved I wasn't the only jerk out there. I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes, my thumb nervously spinning the ring around the other finger, my mind a complete mess. I had touched my lowest point and, if I had the guts for it, there was only one thing left to do.

I took a deep breath and pushed myself standing straight, remembering the idea I formed after looking at Viola's Instagram profile, seeing her visiting a place for abandoned kids, clearly recalling what my father ordered me with thundering voice in the morning, saying I had to begin amend for my despicable actions instead of doing nothing and waste my days in my room. I took another deep breath, since the idea of having to talk to him ticked me off and made me consider eating crap rather than doing so, but I had no choice. He was right in a way and there was one path only I could take.

I had to fix things with Viola and also, I had to get things straight and right in general, possibly with my parents and perhaps, with time, also with my cousin; of course, only if they all would ever consider giving me another chance.

Author's chit-chat:

What are your thoughts, reactions, emotions, ideas and comments about this chapter? I said it would be intense and I think it was, for both of them.

Anatoly and Viola sure are quite the good couple of friends and it's clear that they like each other a lot, despite our Tolya's efforts not to show it and his shyness.

I know we have seen this part already in "Loving You is Forbidden", but it was necessary to see it from different POVs, seeing Viola interacting with Tolya's friends and family, and yeah...Oleg made his appearance, our infamous impassive bastard ^^

What do you think of Sergey? Will he finally stand up for himself and start to change, especially tolerating himself? Let's see in the coming chapters. Some people sometimes need to touch the bottom before snapping out of that and Sergey is one of them.

Viola was quite straightforward and almost harsh with him, but I think we can all understand her feelings and disappointment, which we'll understand even more as the story proceeds. Also, it was the emotional kick Sergey really needed.

OK, I am almost done with CH.3 of "Beyond Those Irresistible Eyes" and so, either this evening or tomorrow evening it will be out and posted, promised 😊

Then, stay tuned for more updates from Witchy and her Cat, as I'm working on CH.6 and other updates.

I hope you enjoy it and let me know as always what you think, thank you.

Lots of Love, Magic, Hugs & Meows,
-TheWitchAndTheCat-