I detangle myself from James's hand and straighten my spine, heart beating at a mile a minute. Jeremy shoots me a tight-lipped smile and shifts his attention to Freddie and Nic.

"I'm really sorry to hear about what's happened," he says. "If there's anything you need..."

"Thanks, Jeremy," replies Nicole, smiling.

Freddie—having no idea who Jeremy is—offers him a seat, to which he declines.

"I was actually just about to do a coffee run. Sloan, I could use your help."

Yep—he knows!

"Okay."

I leave my seat and after taking Freddie and Nicole's order—anything with caffeine in it—I follow Jeremy out into the hall. Mum is tending to a worried Lara who, upon seeing me leave, asks if she can sit with James.

"Of course," I say.

Jeremy shoots her a sympathetic smile and leads me to the coffee bar on the ground floor. We don't say much the entire time and what little conversation we do engage in has nothing to do with inappropriate relationships.

"What the hell happened?" he finally asks once we're seated.

I have no idea what the play is regarding Clarissa, so I simply shrug and say, "The police are still trying to figure that out."

"Is he going to be okay? James?"

I can feel myself tearing up but manage to hold back the urge to full-on sob. "They don't know."

Jeremy lets out a frustrated breath, no doubt feeling the reality of the situation. "This is fucked up. Clarissa was supposed to be our friend."

I nod, unable to offer much in the form of a vocal response.

"I think she regretted it," I eventually say. "Afterwards, she seemed pretty remorseful."

"Yeah? Well, that's no good. You can't un-stab someone."

Despite his seriousness, I find myself cracking a smile.

"What?" he asks.

"You always say it as it is," I explain. "I like that about you, Jeremy."

He returns my smile and takes a sip from his foam cup, creating a natural break in conversation. We're relatively alone, having chosen a table tucked away in a forgotten corner, and I figure now is as good an opening as ever.

"Are you going to tell people?"

He knows without asking exactly what I mean.

"I could," he replies. "But what do I gain from doing that?"

I say nothing and watch as he's hit with a jolt of inspiration.

"Or I could wait until James wakes up and blackmail you both."

I laugh.

"I rather fancy graduating with a first despite having to do any actual work."

"Don't lie. You love the workload."

Jeremy is the only person I know other than me who would rather write an essay that join any social event.

"That's true. I had a wet dream about my dissertation the other day."

"Jesus—Jeremy!"

"Sorry, babe."

I playfully nudge his arm.  "You didn't need to tell me that."

"TMI?"

"Hell yeah!"

"In my defence, you did just say my openness is what you admire most about me."

That's true—I did just say that.

"Let's keep sexual acts out of it," I suggest.

"Speaking of which... how is our professor? In bed, I mean."

OH MY GOD!

"I'm going to pour my coffee over you," I warn, unable to keep the smile from showing on my face.

"I bet he's a fucking animal."

I cover my ears, indicating to him I'm no longer listening.

"Does he pull your hair and get you to call him professor?"

I refuse to look at him for fear of giving anything away. James just so happens to do both those things and I'll die if Jeremy ever finds out.

"Your face just gave it away," he informs, sipping from his foam cup again.

His cheeky smile and mischievous glint dissolve into seriousness and for a moment, he just looks at me.

"You're an amazing person, Sloan. Quite capable of making sensible decisions."

"I love him," I admit, needing him to know this isn't just some meaningless fling.

"I can see that," he replies. He reaches across the table and gentle squeezes my hand. "He's lucky he's got you."

My stomach swirls, appreciating his compliment. His entire conversation, in fact. Jeremy has managed what no one else could. He's distracted me. For the duration of our chat, I've been able to let go. I've been able to breathe. He'll never know how much I needed him today.

"I'll let you get back," he says, gesturing towards the hallway we came from. "Don't worry about anything other than him, okay?"

I nod.

"And keep me updated."

"I will."

I squeeze his body to mine in what I hope is a show of my honest affection. Jeremy is a Godsend. A calming presence amongst chaos. And part of me doesn't want to let go. In the end, I do and as I return to James' room, I find Freddie and the nurse from earlier in a similar position, hugging in the hallway. Nicole and Lara are nowhere to be seen and I assume they're both inside with James.

"Everything okay?" I ask, worried.

The idea of having missed something while I was away fills me with guilt.

The nurse—whose name I still don't know—pulls back slightly, cheerful smile on show. Her long, auburn hair is tied back into a neat ponytail, though throughout her shift whisps have escaped. Her bright blue eyes are captivating, and I find myself drawn to them like magnets.

"Everything is fine."

Freddie's red eyes and tear-stained cheeks would beg to differ.

"I'm worried about Nikki," he informs.

He doesn't elaborate.

"Why?"

"She hasn't eaten in hours."

None of us have but for Nic, it's a delicate situation.

"She's obviously not hungry, but..."

Mum comes back with a leaflet on eating disorders and caringly wraps her arm around Freddie's shoulder.

"The lady at reception recommended this."

"Fuck," sighs Freddie, running a hand over his face. "Jamie would know what to do. He was always better at handling this sort of stuff."

"And I'm sure he can teach you exactly how to handle it when he wakes up," offers the nurse.

Her touch also somehow ends up on Freddie's arm.

"She won't eat here," I say, knowing her phobia of eating in public will prevent her from feeding her body exactly what it needs.

"I need to get her home for a few hours," agrees Freddie.

"Come with me," coaxes the nurse, gently tugging on Freddie's hand.

Mum and I also follow her into James' room, ignoring Doctor Williamson's rule of three.

"He's going to need some clothes, hun," says the nurse, aiming her statement directly at Nicole who—at first—appears somewhat dazed. "I was thinking you and your brother could pack a bag for him?"

Nicole refuses. "I don't want to leave Jamie."

"You're not leaving him. You're looking after him," she insists, voice soft.

Nicole falters a little. "Looking after him?"

"Yeah. Being away from home is scary and he'll need some comfort to make him feel better when he wakes up. I'm told no one knows him like you. You're close."

Nicole looks at me as if to argue her point but doesn't vocalise it. 

"Could you help me out?" she asks.

Nicole eventually nods, taking on the responsibility of packing her youngest brother an overnight bag. She no doubt knows exactly what we're doing and goes along with it for the sake of keeping the peace.

"Thank you," mouths Freddie, briefly capturing the attention of the nurse.

She beams at him from her position.

"Will you call if anything happens?" asks Nicole, looking at me.

I give her my word. "Of course."

Shortly after, they both leave. Mum joins Lara and I by James' side and continues to feed us both with premade sandwiches from the hospital's canteen. They taste like nothing, but I eat them, nevertheless.

"Why isn't he waking up, Mum?" I ask, desperate for her wisdom.

"He's healing, sweetheart. His body needs this rest."

"I need him to wake up," I insist.

Lara says nothing from her position beside James with a permanent look of concern on her face.

"Do you think we're being punished?"

"Why punished?" she asks.

"For dating in the first place. Professors aren't supposed to sleep with their students. Maybe this is bad karma for our actions?"

"That's bullshit," insists Lara, shocking both Mum and I with her words. "You and James are the strongest couple I know. If anything, it's a test and you've passed it by being here with him."

I stare at his motionless face, so peaceful and perfect. His cheeks carry a little colour and I like that. I like that he's showing signs of health. His chest moves every time oxygen is pumped into his lungs, yet still his eyes remain closed.

Wake up, baby.

The nurse whose name I must fucking learn enters again after knocking, only this time she accompanied by a doctor.

"We're going to remove his breathing apparatus now," he explains.

"What?" demands Lara, utterly appalled. "What if he can't breathe on his own?"

"His body's natural instincts will kick in," explains the nurse, offering Lara comfort in the form of a gentle smile. "This is the next step in him waking up."

Mum and Lara kindly leave having been asked, and I stay exactly where I am. The doctor and the nurse work in unison to prepare the removal of the tube, the pair often communicating with medical terms I don't understand.

"Talk to him," suggests the nurse. "He might be feeling a bit frightened."

"Will it hurt?" I ask, gesturing towards the tube that is still very much attached to him.

"It might feel unpleasant," admits the doctor, scribbling down some notes.

I instantly grab James's hand and position my head close to his.

"It's okay, baby. I'm right here."

I gently play with his hair the entire time the tube is withdrawn and end up quoting Jane Austin. The doctor performs his checks and rambles on and on about some scale I've never heard of. I'm just about to ask for more information when something incredible happens. James—without the help from any machines—takes a breath. He's still out cold, but the fact he's breathing on his own is nothing short of a bloody miracle.

"Oh my God!"

The nurse smiles at my delight.

"He's going to be okay, isn't he? Surly if he can breathe on his own, his brain isn't too badly damaged?"

Her face drops slightly. "It's definitely a good sign."

It's not the reassurance I was looking for.

"We won't know for sure until he wakes up," explains the doctor.

I deflate, feeling disappointed to my very core. The thought of never having another conversation with James destroys me. In what life is that fair?

The doctor conducts a few more checks before exiting the room, leaving me alone with the nurse.

"Keep doing what you're doing," she encourages. "I don't know what book you were quoting before, but his heartrate increased when you were talking."

I quickly glance to his heart monitor, shocked I missed it.

"Thanks."

Once again, I'm left alone and when Mum and Lara don't join me, I do something I'm sure might get me told off by staff. Careful as to not press on any wires, I'm climb into bed with James and curl into him like a needy cat. His familiar scent immediately surrounds me, blanketing me with a gentle caress. I press my cheek to his warm chest and position my hand along his rough jawline, enjoying his warmth. I don't care what anyone says. I need this contact like I need my next breath. And I'm pretty sure James needs it too. Afterall, what he's been through is nothing short of fucking tragic.

"I'm so proud of you," I whisper, lightly kissing his chest. "For breathing on your own."

I peek under his gown and notice a large dressing where his stab wound is. I purposely avoid touching that area, not wanting to inflict any more pain. Other than that, people would have no idea why he's in here. The rest of him looks healthy. Rosy cheeks, heaving chest and skin so warm, it's like being underneath a blanket. All signs of life.

"You're going to be okay," I reassure. "You have to be because I want to marry you one day. And have children." I pause, imagining things for real. "We'll raise an army of literature nerds, just like us."

I wrap my arm around his shoulders and press my lips to his skin.

"We'll get another cat for Virginia Wolfe and call it Jane Austin. We'll all live in an English cottage that's full of books. In fact, it's so full of books, Nicole and Freddie always make fun of us when they visit." 

The longer I talk, the heavier my eyes get. I don't want to fall asleep without James having woken up first but the fight against my body's exhaustion is a difficult one. So much so, it wins. I end up succumbing to my sleep and drift off dreaming about my future with James.

A future I might not get.

****

I wake up surprisingly gentle. I predict I was only out for twenty minutes and already feel much better for allowing my body this rest. The sun is still shining and casts a beautiful ray across the bed. Strong hands hold me, and I sink into the feeling, loving the pressure against my back.

"Morning, kitten."

I nuzzle myself further into his body and—when I come to realise I'm no longer dreaming—jolt up. My eyes are frantic, and I must appear nothing short of a fucking mess with knotted hair and a look of shock on my face.

James—seeing this—laughs slightly.

"Is this real?"

"It's real, baby." He smiles. "Miss me?"

✨✨✨✨

Hi, lovely! 💕

HE'S AWAKE AT LASTTTTTT!!

I can't believe we're only 2 chapters away from this book ending. 😭

I will cry, for sure.

But fear not, I have SO MUCH planned for you guys. The ride is far from over!

I'm talking bonus content, Freddie's story, Nicole's story.

P.S, I'm so excited to write Nic's story because *whispers* I've based this character on my own experiences and I've never done that before in my writing. I'm excited to share MY story with you guys! ❤️

If there's anything else you want, be sure to let me know.

ALSOOOOO, a beautiful reader created some gorgeous fan art for our beloved characters. I've added them below for you to see.

Lots of love,

Rebecca xo