I'D NEVER THOUGHT I'd get dumped like this.

Actually, I have, but none of the scenarios which had played inside my head on the occasional sleepless night could've possibly depicted all this.

The mind-numbing pain in my head. The itch of my skin as I moved frantically across the suddenly way too small space of my cream coloured room. Not even the imaginary smell of garbage evading my body.

Because that's exactly what he had made of me. What he made me feel like after dumping me into the trash can of endless humiliation.

Garbage.

I had been dumped like the spoiled food nobody wants anymore. Like the dog waste everyone is desperate to get out of the house before the stench digs its claws into the perfectly smelling air.

I didn't think I'd ever felt so utterly humiliated before. And coming from a person who's middle name was Humiliation, that said something.

It was beyond my reach how someone like Mac Stone could get rid of a girl without any sort of guilt or remorse. One clap of the hands and Poof! Dumped.

Okay, I suppose it's time I admitted this. I'd known that his heart wasn't one hundred percent in this relationship - if I could call a one week thing a relationship. I'd always known, somewhere deep inside... And yet, I'd been stupid enough to think that this would change. That I could make it change. Like the way people learn to like something out of need.

But he'd never needed me. I realized it now. That was the problem. He had wanted Jenny Whitman. And after dumping the extra load off his shoulders, he got her, alright.

And here I was, going up and down my room like a lost bug, trying to find the escape which was way too far for my tiny limbs to reach.

Fortunately, the sharp ring of my phone managed to snap me out of my painful thoughts.

I ran a hand over my burning my face and walked towards the bed where I'd thrown my phone somewhere during the course of this evening.

I grabbed it and checked the caller's name.

Barbara.

My heart sank. Even though I hated to admit this, a small part of me had hoped it was Mac. That stupid part of me which I slightly hated just for wanting this. But I knew he wouldn't want to reach me again. Not after our last phone call.

The call that made our relationship poof straight out of existence.

He'd already gotten rid of me by phone. Why would he try to call again?

"Hey, Barbs." My voice was hoarse and a little nasal, and I knew it was only a matter of seconds before she would ask me what was wrong.

"Cece? What's wrong?"

Even though I hated that I couldn't mask my feelings, I still felt a sense of admiration towards Barbara's strong observation skills and Cece knowledge. After almost two years of putting up with me, I guess she was bound to know a thing or two about my strange self. I'd always joke and tell her that her Cece knowledge was more like a conservation instinct she needed in order to survive my presence.

I automatically opened my mouth to protest but I closed it shortly afterwards.

Even though my brain was pre-set to deny any possible damage in the heart, there was no reason in denying it. Barbara was my best friend. Plus, the damage had already been done, and I needed to accept it. All of it.

And mostly I needed to accept the fact that my first boyfriend had thrown me away like a box of rotten cheese.

"Mac dumped me."

She was silent for a few seconds, and I knew she was trying to find the right words to make me feel better. When I heard her sigh repeatedly on the other side of the phone, I knew she too realized that there were none.

"Oh my God... I'm so sorry." Her sympathetic voice made her sound like she was genuinely feeling awful, and I almost let a smile form on my face. It was nice to be reminded that she actually cared about me and my feelings.

"It's okay. Honestly. I didn't expect it to last, anyway."

But that wasn't completely true. I'd been hoping it would last, but at the same time I'd known it in my heart that my hopes were in vain. But that hadn't stopped me from trying to convince myself otherwise.

Mac had never been one to express his feelings - and I mean truly express them. He'd tell you how he felt, usually just once, and you pretty much had to take his word for it. And I had embraced this system, of course. What else could I do? I liked him. So I accepted that. I had to.

"So how did it happen?"

I sighed. "He called me roughly an hour ago and basically told me that he found someone else."

"Oh, God," Barbara scoffed, "I wish I had ten pairs of eyes so I could roll them all at once."

"I wish I had ten chairs to throw at him but I guess life is unfair like that."

"Amen."

"And a dozen more chairs for Jenny Whitman," I added bitterly. "Maybe a splinter would make one of her fake nails unglue."

"Wait. Jenny Whitman is that someone else?"

"Yup."

It was her turn to sigh. "Wow."

Yeah. Wow. That was precisely the right word for this. For all of this. Because he did not just leave me for someone else, he'd left me for Jenny Whitman. The girl who was my utter opposite - blonde hair going down her shoulders, wide blue eyes, petite figure, girlish clothes... Not to mention bright blue fake nails twice the size of her actual nails.

I hated long nails. I'd always hated them.

And I could never be like Jenny. Not with my brown hair, brown eyes, boyish clothes and body similar to a walking stick.

And I guess Mac was the first one to realize that.

So frustrating and at the same time so annoyingly cliché.

"I'm so sorry, Cece... I genuinely can't believe this happened. And you liked him so much, it's just - "

I winced. "Yeah. And that's the exact thing that adds to the stupidity of it all. I liked him and he used me as a ladder to climb to the real prize he'd wanted all along."

"Wait, did you know he liked Jenny? I mean, before this?"

Did I? Did I really know?

My first instinct was to say yes, but I fought back on it. Because frankly, the green-eyed monster inside me had always made me a little bit paranoid. My brain had always been influenced by this matter - by the jealousy living inside me. The monster was constantly begging for new food to chew on, and whenever he got it, he devoured it until there was nothing left to consume.

It's the way I'd always been around crushes and partners (well, partner). I teased, and teased them about other girls until they got tired, and only then I was satisfied. It was like only their tiredness proved that there was nothing really going on with them and some other girls.

But with Mac, it wasn't always the jealousy's fault.

I'd often caught Mac and Jenny chatting cheerfully in the cafeteria. It was the same every time. I would have this funny feeling in my gut, before I'd reach their table and Jenny would excuse herself, moving to some nearby table with her group of friends. I knew that she and Mac had gone way back, but the history behind them had always been some sort of a mystery to me.

I'd imagined a few times before during the past few days what it would've been like if my suspicions regarding Jenny and Mac were to morph into reality.

And now that they actually did, I wished all of this was still only a part of my imagination.

"I don't know," I said eventually.

"Well, it doesn't matter. The next time I see him and Jenny, they're both gonna get a nice palm shaped tattoo on their cheeks from me. For free."

I smiled. "Please give them one from me as well. A two plus one spring discount."

"You got it." She paused. "So, I know this is maybe not the good time to ask, but what are you going to do about prom?"

Oh, God. The prom. I'd completely forgotten.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, what are you wearing, what color are you painting your nails with, which tutorials are you watching for your hair, that kind of stuff."

"I'm not going," I blurted out, and then realized that my sudden choice only made sense. There was no way I was going to prom without a date. I would not sink that low, not when Mac and Jenny would be slow dancing there together, showcasing their newfound love among the students of Berry High.

"What?" she half-yelled. "You can't not go. What about the promise?"

I frowned. "What promise?"

"You promised we'd go together. The day after you and Mac got together, remember? I had Marcus as my date, you had Mac, and you promised that the four of us will all go together so you and I can finally experience prom with actual dates."

"I have to say, Barbs, that doesn't quite sound like me."

"Look," she said, determined, "we are going to prom. Case closed."

"Oh, wow, okay, you got me there," I said flatly. "I'm totally convinced now."

"Damn right you are. So, which tutorial?"

"I feel like you're missing something here," I declared. "And that's my non-existent date."

"No," Barbara said, "because we are going to find you a date for prom."

I laughed, but it was short lived. "Do you want a toy for that kid?"

"What?"

"You know, because you're kidding?"

But she wasn't kidding and we both knew it.

"We have exactly ten days to find you a new date," she stated. "I'm guessing it should be enough."

"You're insane."

"I know that," she deadpaned. "So climb aboard, Cece, because it's going to be a crazy ride."

"You're so melodramatic."

"I know."

But what I didn't know then and wish I'd known was how incredibly right she was.

Because things were going to be far crazier than I'd ever given them credit for.

_______

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