A whole squat rack flew through the mirror wall of the training ground, shattering the mirrors to bits and destroying most of the wall. Tables, dumbbells and knives soon followed, breaking everything in their path. Nothing was safe from the wrath set to annihilate everything it came across. Frustrated battle cries echoed through the hallways of the palace, scaring everyone who could hear them, and I wondered which poor, unfortunate soul behind the doors was going to try and calm me down this time around.

"I've never seen her so angry." Foxglove observed.

"It's been worse." Haimon shrugged, making Valerio and my father nod in agreement.

"Can you blame her, Nuin? You guys treat her like garbage." My father retorted, raising his eyebrow. "Now who's going in?"

All eyes fell on Valerio, understandable since he would be able to take the most damage if something did fly his way. 

He rolled his eyes. "I think we should send Hemlock." 

My father and Haimon laughed, but Foxglove frowned. "Why? She'll kill him." 

"Good riddance." The other men shrugged.

Valerio pointed at Foxglove amused. "She's your fighter, you'll go in there."

"Can we make it a team effort?" He pleaded to the other men who, after exchanging some looks, reluctantly agreed.

The door slowly opened while my eyes roamed around the destruction I had caused. There was no way I was going to let Mr. Anders clean up this mess without my help. I grabbed a fallen 90 lbs. dumbbell and lifted it up like it was a feather when the men walked in and closed the door. Their eyes widened at the sight.

"Don't worry I'm not going to hurt you, to prevent that I take my anger out on other things. But before you speak, let me make something crystal clear." I sighed frustratedly as I put the dumbbell back in its place, before turning around to glare at the men.

"My whole life, I've put up with a lot of bullshit from a lot of people. I've handled all of it, the bullying, the loneliness, the idiocy, the constant misogyny and objectifying. Not to mention the horrific events in your kingdoms you like to call ruling. But here. This. This is where I draw the line. I don't care how many other mandatory activities are scheduled, I'm not going to participate in a single fucking thing if I don't want to. First of all because I'm not obligated to, since I didn't sign shit as I didn't volunteer. Second of all because if I have to deal with any more shit from the three of you, so help me earth I will bring this whole place down. I will bring this whole fucking diseased, corrupt excuse of a palace down on your heads. You know it's kind of funny, sometimes I even forget that I'm talking to the most powerful men in the kingdoms, because if I'm honest your reign is a fucking joke. So you want me to fight in your little conquest? Fine, I'll fight and I'll do it well. But don't expect me to do anything else for you, because you don't deserve it."

The men stayed silent, and I turned my back on them to continue cleaning up. My father motioned them to leave, knowing I wanted some alone time to truly calm down again. 

"Oh and Foxglove?" I stated when he was about to walk through the door, making him turn around with raised eyebrows. "You might want to prepare your generals and teach them some manners, because in five weeks they'll be dealing with a queen on the throne."

In that moment, I realized that for a split second, my doubts had disappeared, and I knew I would be able to do it if my anger got to me.

I knew I would be able to kill.

Behind the doors, I heard my father giving the other men, mostly Foxglove and Haimon, a warning. "Normally I don't intervene, because I know Iola wants to handle her own battles, but this time I have to say that she's right. Most of you have been acting like pricks and the things from you that she has witnessed and had to deal with are horrific. You're lucky she's still able to keep it together because you guys are pushing her over the edge, and when you do you're not going to like the Iola who rises up from the ground. Actions have consequences, and she'll remind you of them."

The rest of the evening I was busy cleaning up with Mr. Anders and his special team. When we were done, everything that had survived my rage was back in its place while the rest was dumped in a container. It was late when I got to my room and as much as I wanted to lay down in bed and sleep for eternity, I knew I wouldn't be able to. Instead I hopped in the shower, not caring that Valerio was in his room and could see me if he walked into his closet, changed into some comfortable clothes and went to my balcony.

I leaned on the railing, staring into the pitch black night. My eyes roamed across the sky, apparently the stars didn't even feel like showing themselves today. I tilted my head to the door when I heard footsteps. Valerio probably wanted to talk and I really wasn't up for it. I didn't really feel like doing anything anymore these days.

With a sigh I closed the balcony doors and started to climb up the palace walls in order to avoid the conversation. I needed some alone time right now, my emotions were still too high and I didn't want to stir my powers up again. The palace walls were harder to climb than most other houses, probably for security reasons, but after a while I reached the top and pulled myself up there. 

I walked over to the other side, facing the mountains and overlooking the pitch dark gardens, and sat down at the edge, dangling my legs over it. Resting my shoulder against a chimney, I took a deep breath. My eyes zoned off into the distance, set on where one could normally see the high mountains, and I wondered if it was true, if there were really dragons up there.

With the strange animals I had encountered and all the supernatural shit going around, I guessed it really wasn't much of a long shot. I sighed, I loved dragons and I really wanted to know how they looked. Would they be Western dragons? Oriental? Wyverns? Or another type? Would they be elemental? And how big would they be?

It made me dread being stuck here. My whole life I was forced to believe that there was nothing but danger lurking outside this kingdom, but apparently there was so much more out there. I longed to explore it, to find out what my true destiny was. Earth couldn't have created me for the sake of three kingdoms in an apparent wide world, could he? There had to be more to it, I refused to believe otherwise.

There was more behind those mountains, more behind the wild sea and more beyond those walls. How unfortunate was I, since there was a big chance I would never see it. I was stuck here, in this kingdom, in that conquest, doomed to a life I didn't want. I didn't want to participate in the conquest, and even though I knew I was going to win, I had no desire for it. I didn't want the crown and I didn't want the throne. I just wanted to be free. I wanted to be me.

In the dark, a figure approached from behind. He had climbed the walls as well and sat down next to me in silence, but I appreciated his presence. We sat like that for a long while, staring into the distance, until the first light of the sun broke through the darkness.

"What's got you up here?" I finally asked, breaking the long silence.

"The generals are complaining about the investigation taking too long, they hoped that it would've been completed before the conquest. And Valerio told me you were up here." He shrugged. "It's fine though, I told them I'm almost done."

I narrowed my eyes, he was acting weird. Why would he act so careless about something he had put his blood and soul in the last months? Why didn't he have the least amount of concern about the generals annoyance or the deadline in general? My eyes widened for a quick second as I connected the dots before they narrowed again. It could only mean one thing.

He had finished it already.

I checked to see if someone was eavesdropping and shut off all the tech in close proximity within a second and turned to him.

"You're purposely waiting to reveal the conclusion until after the conquest. Why?" I wondered.

"Call it a hunch, smartass." He chuckled. "The conclusion can't influence the conquest. The right ruler has to sit on the throne first to ensure the right action will be taken."

"And who would the right ruler be?"

He didn't say anything which spoke volumes nonetheless.

I groaned. "Don't tell me you've placed a bet on me. I have zero leadership qualities, zero leadership ambitions, not to mention the fact I have zero patience to deal with those men on a daily basis."

"You not wanting the throne is exactly why you should have it." He smiled.

"You can't be serious right now." I rolled my eyes.

"Well out of all the fighters who do you think should sit on the throne?" 

"None." I blurted out while raising my eyebrows, making him laugh. "But if I really had to choose I'd say Valerio."

"And you're not saying that because of a certain bond, are you?" He joked.

"No. You know I would never do that." I rolled my eyes and playfully punched him in the shoulder. "I've blocked all that shit out anyway."

"True." His smile faded and his expression turned into a serious one. "How are your dreams? Any nightmares lately?"

"What is this? An interrogation?" I laughed.

He chuckled. "Of course not, I just want to know how you're truly doing kiddo."

"Valerio really needs to learn how to keep his mouth shut." I sighed.

He looked at me softly. "It was the first time I've ever seen him so concerned and frankly so am I."

"You guys don't have to worry about a thing. It's not something you can help me with anyways, so I'd only be a burden." I smiled faintly while I bounced my legs against the wall.

"You're my daughter, you will never be a burden to me." He placed a hand on my shoulder. "And you worry me on a daily basis, kiddo, so that's not going to work."

Knowing nobody was listening, I couldn't hold it in anymore, not after all this time.

"I know." I sighed, pushing back tears that had started to form in my eyes. "I'm just so tired. Tired of emotions, tired of people, tired of myself. Tired of everything basically. Life feels so heavy lately, joyless even. I feel sad, exhausted and angry all the time and you know, every morning I get up and face it over and over again, holding everything in because I don't want to feel weak or fragile. I refuse to be, because these men would eat me alive if I did, but it feels like I'm fighting a losing battle every day and I'm scared."

"Scared of what?"

"Scared of myself. Scared of innocent people or the ones that I love getting hurt because of me. I can't even explain what goes on in my nightmare. I'm fucked up, dad, I'm so fucked up." Tears began to fall from my face. "I talk to the literal earth, embodied in some random dude who's invisible to all of you. He told me the whole prophecy, it's way longer than anyone thinks, and it's right you know. Blood does follow me everywhere I go."

He wiped some of my tears away. "It's just blood, Iola."

"I know, but sometimes, especially when I hurt people who deserve it, I catch myself liking it, drawing blood, having powers, scaring people. In those moments, I catch a hint of evil in myself, in my head and for some reason I enjoy it. And I fear that the conquest will set it all free."

There it was, everything I felt and everything I feared, out there in the open. I had thought about it thousands of times, but never once did I want to say it out loud. The words actually leaving my mouth made me admit it. It made it real. I couldn't hide behind the lie I told myself anymore, where I convinced myself that I was going crazy, making it all up in my head, because I knew that I wasn't and it left me vulnerable.

Tears started to pour from my eyes, dripping down from my chin onto my neck and chest. I felt so guilty for telling my father, because I knew he was so tired from working this case and this would keep him up at night, especially since he couldn't do anything about it. He couldn't help, and he would beat himself up over it, and I was to blame for that.

He softly grabbed my hands and a serious expression formed on his face. "Listen to me. No one is one hundred percent good, everybody has a little evil inside them. The question is whether you allow it to kill every good thing inside you, or if you keep it at bay. You have a lot of trauma in that head of yours and that's okay. Don't let it get to you kiddo, this too shall pass and when it does, you'll be stronger for it."

"Thanks, dad." I gave his hands a reassuring squeeze and he pulled me in for a hug.

He held me like that until my sobs calmed down and the sun had fully risen, and then he held me just a little longer. I didn't believe him, but he didn't need to know that. Monsters were living in my head, impossible to be slain, for then I too had to be slain.