Chapter Twenty: "Friends with Benefits."

I'VE BEEN STARING at one side of Nikko's room for possibly half an hour. My phone was somewhere here but I wasn't going to get out of his comfy bed to go and find it. The large curtains on the windows of his balcony were wide open, letting bright sunlight stream into the room. The sight made me squint when I first woke up but it didn't seem to disturb the quiet sleeper next to me. 

I was convinced Nikko slept like the dead. 

Last night, he had drifted off first. If I hadn't seen him go off into a quiet slumber (and checked his pulse twice for good measure), I would've thought he wasn't breathing. He didn't even move in his sleep the way I usually do. 

However, right now, he started to stir next to me. The rustling of his sheets behind me made me still. The sudden groan that left him as he woke himself up made me suck in a low breath. 

Maybe he wouldn't notice me doing everything I could to freeze and pretend that I had been asleep. I always did that, even as a kid, out of habit. Besides, we weren't touching. However, touching him wasn't necessary when I felt his presence behind me as if he was flushed against my body. 

I knew exactly how he felt though. His warm hands didn't leave mine when we were up talking. Even when the party was still happening outside the four walls of his minimalistic room. I became less aware that a party was still taking place and more aware of him with each passing second, especially when he was over me and then under me. 

Neither of us took anything further outside of talking and kissing and that one quiet moment around 3 AM when we were both staring up at his ceiling. When his sock-covered foot was pressed against my own as I made up some story that resulted in a giant monster tearing off the roof of the house. I was met with silence for about three seconds before I realized he was laughing, his hands over his face before his lips met my own for the hundredth time. 

Kissing Nikko was addictive as hell. I thought about it hundreds of times before it finally happened. Where I would have to place my hands? On his broad shoulders, through his thick dark hair, or on his arms that I stared at more than I ever needed to at practice? Would it make me want things to go further? Would we kiss until my mouth hurt? Would it be one of the best sensations I ever experienced? 

Last night, 'all of the above' had been the option I ticked. And none of the options had even been a thought the second we were in isolation. 

Yet all of my thoughts flew out the window when his warm hand reached for me beneath the covers. A surprise squeak left me as he pulled me closer to him, that one hand now in my line of vision. His chest shook with soundless laughter as the front of his body lined up with my back. 

When I felt something poking against my ass, I let out a small laugh, "Happy?"

"Very," He said, his voice coated with sleep that made me reach for his arm. "It's Sunday." 

"No running today." I declared, my voice muffled into the pillow. 

"Two Sundays in a row?" He teased. "Who are you and what have you done with Larine?" 

I rolled over, getting a good sight of him in the morning. I wasn't sure if the strands of his hair were in different directions because of the sleep or my hands last night. His lips rose even higher when looking at me, his grip on me secured. Safe. It gave me the go-ahead to move even forward into his grasp, burying my face between the pillow and his neck. "You okay?" He asked. 

"Yeah," He smelled like his cologne and it made me burrow my nose further into the strong column of his neck. "I don't wanna run today because I don't wanna move."

He chuckled, his lips pressed against my temple. "We don't have to."

"You promise?" I mumbled. 

His hand came to the exposed skin at my waist. The shirt he had given me to wear last night was rising higher. "We have to move eventually."

I shivered as his touch rose up and down. When his hand brushed along the strap of my bra, I sucked in a deep breath. His attention needed to stay there and not on my heart trying to escape my chest. I thought us finally kissing would stop that reaction. If anything, it only made things more intense. "Says who?" I asked quietly. 

That's when my stomach growled. Nikko laughed against my hair, the sound making my toes curl. "Says your stomach."

My face went up in flames but the movement of his hand on my back let me know he didn't care. "Do you know where my phone is?"

"Here," He shifted from his side, exposing me to the light as he reached for the nightstand on his side of the bed, unplugging my phone from a charger while also grabbing his own next to it. 

Nikko's arm went back around me at that moment, his hand back on my back. I didn't look at my phone yet either, pulling him closer to me by his shirt. He complied, even when his phone buzzed. "You sleep okay?" 

I nodded. There was no noise on the other side of his door. There were no birds chirping to signify the new day. In the middle of his room, it was him and me, and nothing but peace and the warmth of his palms. "You?" 

"I did," His phone buzzed again and he let out a sigh against the side of my head. "One second."  

When he read the messages on his phone, our bubble of peace popped.

"Oh, fuck," He cursed, kicking off the cover. No. "I'm late for a meeting."

Don't go. When his touch slipped from my body, a sigh left me. "What meeting?"

"Neuromuscular phys. I have a group project to present tomorrow. Lambton library. Shit. Shit." I watched him rush into the connecting bathroom and come out with his hair tied up in that ridiculous ponytail, a wet face, hands, and a toothbrush in his mouth. As he was brushing his teeth and digging for clothes, I sat up cross-legged and reached for my phone, texting my sister.

Me: We kissed. I stayed over.

"Fuck, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," He said, running back to the bathroom.

"It's okay," I laughed and he came back out in the middle of buttoning his jeans and with a new shirt on. he was in the middle of confirming his Uber ride to campus when he glanced at me, stopping his actions. 

He was still in a hurry, but he came to my side, placed on knee on the bed, and reached towards me. I put my hands up. "I haven't brushed my teeth."

He shot me a dry look. "Larine."

"I haven't!" I whined. 

"I don't care." Nikko acted true to his words, pressing a chaste kiss to my mouth. The mere sensation was enough to make me inhale sharply, holding onto his arm. "I don't want to leave."

"I don't want you to go," I admitted, but group projects sucked. And the last thing anyone wanted to be was the one who wasn't pulling their weight. Reluctantly, I sighed. "Go. Your Uber driver is probably already here." 

Nikko did the opposite, tossing his phone on the bed to encircle his arms around me. I didn't hesitate to return the longer goodbye even though I had a feeling I was going to see him later today. I hoped. I really hoped. "Is this clingy?" He suddenly asked. 

"Yes, but I like clingy," I confessed.  

He flashed me a goofy smile. "You like me?" 

"No," I lied with a half-hearted shrug. "I spent my entire night making out with a different person and sleeping in their bed instead." 

"Was this person a better kisser than me?" 

I couldn't make up a lie about that. "Definitely not." 

We exchanged a grin, me still looking up at him from where he was kneeling on his bed with our arms loosely around each other. 

"Can you be here when I get back?" He asked quietly as if someone was overhearing our conversation. "It'll only be a few hours. We're finishing up some slides and practicing. If you end up going home to change or something and I'm not back, here." He collected something from a small bowl on his nightstand: a set of keys. Disassembling it from the collection, he held out one key that I assumed was meant for his house.

"Are you asking me to move in?" I joked. 

He laughed. "Not yet."Oh, God. But then Nikko put a handout, "I'm kidding. Because if you ever move in with me it's not going to be in this house with all these people in it and a party every single week. Trust me, if we were to move in together it'd be a form of complete and utter solitude. It'd be like last night every single day. Just—"

"Nikko."

He blinked. "Yeah?"

"I know you're kidding," I admitted, slowly taking the key from him. "It sounds like you've given this thought."

"I've given us a lot of thought." He confessed. The clear reminder that his feelings for me were mutual was out there in the open and direct like he always had been. "But remember we can go slow. At whatever speed you want us to—"

"I don't want to go slow," I said. "We've wasted a lot of time."

He sighed, "Yeah, we did, didn't we?" 

But that wasn't something to dwell on anymore and the smile he gave me after saying that was reassuring, "Just be here, okay?"

"I will," I whispered with a yawn. I was likely to go back to sleep again. There was no way I wanted to leave the room that smelt like him, that was him.

Nikko beamed, musing my hair before giving me another quick kiss and bolting out of the room.

I fell asleep thirty seconds later. But when I woke up again, it was half past eleven. When I checked my phone this time, there were numerous messages from my friends that had me wide awake in the following three seconds. 

Mariam: Ri, you slut.

Oh, God.

Mariam: Jay told me you didn't come home.

Yasmeen: Hope you were safe!

Mariam: Or not. I'd like to be an aunt soon.

Jaime: Larine with a kid? You hate her.

Mariam: I do not!

Mariam: I would be the best aunt in the world. Keep that in mind, Ri.

Yasmeen: Oh my goodness.

I sat there in the middle of his bed, painfully obvious of the silence now. Nothing like the party that had happened last night was blaring through the door this late morning. When I arose from the bed and walked into Nikko's bathroom, I caught sight of myself in the mirror. My hair was frizzier than it needed to be. Every strand I had run through my curl wand was no longer present. But my eyes seemed brighter. 

Maybe that was happiness. I didn't know what the hell it was, but I liked it.

After getting ready, not bothering to change back into my top and skirt from the night before, I rummaged through Nikko's closet before finding a pair of sweats to change into from the shorts he had given me last night. A blue sweater was hung over his desk chair. I stole that too. 

As I started to leave the sanctuary of his bedroom, I saw a message from my sister.  

Paula: And? How do you feel?

But I wasn't the only person exiting a room.

Rhett locked eyes with me, freezing before narrowing them. "What are you doing coming out of Nikko's room?"

My mouth fell open then closed a million times before I collected myself, "Um..." I looked over at the room he had just come out of. Last I checked, he didn't live here. "What are you doing coming out of that room?" I spat back.

Rhett was about to give me, probably a nasty response, before the door he came through flung open. The other person was shrugging on a shirt in the process, "I thought you said you were going to pick up the breakfast..."

The man's voice trailed off when he spotted me in the hallway. I recognized him, Mars, Marshall, but everyone called him Mars. Nikko's best friend. He stood closer to my height, with dyed red hair and fair skin accompanied by brown eyes. Like every other guy in this house, he was an athlete because my God, he was built. "Larine?"

Rhett scowled, "How do you know her?"

"She dated Benny," Cue the wince. "I'm Mars if you don't remember."

Before I had the chance to tell him that I did remember, Rhett whipped his head in my direction, "You're that Larine?"

"Do you know any other?" I spat back. "My name is not that common."

Rhett crossed his arms. "Well, she came out of Nikko's room. And is wearing his sweater so," He glanced at Mars. He pulled a bit on Mars's shirt, covering his toned stomach for him. "Do what you will with that information."

Mars's eyes came down to my hand, where the key Nikko had given me was peeking out of my fingers. He looked up at me, giving me a once over before he catlike smile grew upon his face, "Want breakfast?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

About half an hour later I was chewing on some bacon, sitting across from Mars and Rhett at the kitchen table. The entire house was spotless. As if there wasn't a party with tons of people here last night. Maybe that was Victor who I hadn't seen since then either. Or Nikko's two other roommates that I didn't think he spoke to that much. 

None of that mattered now. I was too busy staring at Mars and Rhett. 

Mars, like our rare interactions years ago, was kind. He asked me if I needed anything else, asked me how I liked squash, joked about me being on a team with Rhett and Nikko and dealing with their personalities to talking about how shit his hockey season was currently going compared to last year. 

Was Mars the non-dating, non-friends with-benefits situation that Rhett had gotten irritated over after one of our tournaments? Where I had unexpectedly faced his wrath? 

It was Mars that lit the fuse of his gigantically big head?

"So, this is a thing?" Rhett asked bluntly, eyeing me over the eggs he was currently shoving into his mouth. "You and Nikko?"

"You called it," I muttered. 

He shrugged. "I didn't think you were both going to go through with it."

"That means so much Rhett," I said sarcastically. "Thanks for the support."

"Just don't blow up the team," He grumbled under his breath.

Mars sighed, grabbing more bacon to add to his plate. "Ignore him."

"I always do," I assured him.

"I mean that," Rhett snapped. "If this thing blows up in our faces because the two of you are fighting? You play doubles together and you get into an argument, what the hell are you two going to do?"

"Play the game." I cut in, holding his brown eyes.

"You sure?"

"Yup," I said. "After all, you've played while going through some argument, haven't you?"

Rhett narrowed his eyes in my direction. Well, if he thought he could get the last word in, he thought wrong. Dick. 

Mars' eyes flickered between the two of us before settling on me with a kind smile that was such a stark contrast to the permanent scowl on Rhett's face. "I'm happy for you both."

Before I could respond about how sweet Mars was in comparison to his irritating friends-with-benefits partner, the sound of the front door took all of our attention. Nikko walked in, jacket on, snowy hat on his head. He stopped in his tracks when he spotted us in the kitchen. When his eyes fell on me, he beamed, "You're still here."

Of course, I was.

When he took a seat next to me at the table, he leaned forward, pressing a kiss to the side of my head. I felt the sensation linger even as he pulled away, even when Rhett dryly said, "Oh, you guys are so cute." Mars nudged him, muttering something to him as I kept my attention on Nikko. 

"You're earlier than I thought you'd be," I said.

"We finished the slides and practiced three times. It went by faster than I thought," Nikko said to me before looking over at the table. "Got any extra food?"

"Take what you can," Mars said as Nikko settled down on the chair next to me, grabbing a fork and starting to eat leftover pancakes. 

"Were you going to stay in my room all day?" Nikko asked me. 

"I was going to offer to hang out with her if you didn't show up," Mars said, turning to me. "Rhett and I were going to go bowling. Do you want to come? I'll drive." 

To spend time with Rhett? No. But Mars? Hmm. With the man next to me? "I got a few assignments due so maybe for an hour." 

 "Can I come too, so Larine doesn't have to third wheel?" Nikko asked. 

The way he asked the question made Mars roll his eyes as if the invitation never had Nikko in mind. In fact, the two of them had similar-looking smiles on their faces. "I'm down to double date."

I didn't think it was possible but the moodiness surrounding Rhett seemed to darken even further. It was confirmed when he mumbled something about using the bathroom and made his way upstairs. 

Nikko's attention went to Mars. "I thought there was progress last night." 

"There was also alcohol," Mars huffed. "So there was no progress with where we stood. Just a bunch of drunk words that don't mean anything when they come from Rhett Hawkins." 

Huh? "Drunk words like what?" Nikko asked. 

Should I even be here for this conversation? But Mars didn't seem to care. He shrugged, his gaze down on the bacon on his plate. "Last night he told me he loved me."

My hand flew to my mouth. 

Nikko didn't seem surprised. Just worried. Meanwhile, I sat there blinking rapidly as information kept being thrown into my lap. What the hell?

Nikko's eyebrows furrowed. "Mars."

"He just brushed it off this morning. You know how he is." An understanding seemed to pass between the two of them because when Rhett came back down, they acted as if nothing had happened. But my eyes couldn't stop darting between Mars and Rhett. 

Nikko must've noticed. When we promised to meet back downstairs in a few minutes, Nikko and I went into his bedroom. When he shut the door behind us, he said, "Mars and Rhett have been involved for a while."

"How long is a while?"

Nikko thought about it, "Give or take two years."

"What?"

"It's been on and off," Nikko said, that worry still present on his face. He didn't only seem concerned for Mars but for Rhett too. That was confirmed when he mumbled, "I just don't want anyone to get hurt."  

He put on a different sweater. A brown hoodie. His favourite colour. When he turned to me, he glanced down at my outfit of his clothes. "Of course, you picked my blue hoodie."

The sudden change in topic made me blink. "What do you mean?"

"You love blue," He said as if it was painfully obvious. "I knew you'd take that one if you saw it."

"How'd you know I liked blue?"

Nikko shot me a look. "Your favourite sweater that you always wear." The UBC one. "Your phone case. Your racquet is blue. You've worn the color a good amount of times too but that's likely because it compliments your eyes. If not then, you would've picked a green hoodie. You like that one too." 

I do.

Before I could respond, Mars' voice was heard through the door. Any sign of sadness was clearly gone when he yelled, "Let's go!" 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Going bowling with competitive people on a Sunday had never been the plan. 

Going on a double date involving Rhett was the last thing I ever thought would be on my plan.

But if you put the epitome of sunshine in the equation, all the other variables seemed to fade away.

An afternoon of Rhett getting annoyed every time I got a strike, Nikko playfully pushing me when I only got a spare, and Mars getting strike after strike after strike wasn't terrible at all. 

It was good. 

Actually, it was really fun. 

But I could only stay for an hour. Not a second more. Especially because Iman kept pinging up my phone to remind me we had a deadline at midnight and the assignment we had to do was going to involve him breaking a controller and me breaking at least five pencils. 

I sat in the passenger seat of Mars' car on the way to my house, texting Iman that I could call him in twenty minutes. Nikko and I had left Mars and Rhett at the bowling alley so Nikko could use Mars' car to drop me home. 

When we pulled up in front of my house, the first thing I noticed was that all of the lights were on. Yas and Jay were both home. Judging by the way the curtain from Yas' room moved, they were also watching the car.

"Well," I started reluctantly, "I should probably get going and study and do assignments—" He barked out laughing. I lightly hit him on the shoulder. "What? Finals are coming up."

"And you're not going to study," He declared. "You could have an assignment due in a week. You'll do it the day before. But you have a big one due tonight and I know you haven't started yet." 

I hadn't. 

"Leave me alone," I muttered, opening the car door only to get a blast of cold my way. Sure, he could read me like a book and I could have sat there all day having him tell me everything he noticed about me from the past three years we'd known each other. But I needed to get out of this car if I was actually going to have a chance of separating myself from him and clearing my head. 

He watched me walk around the car with a lazy smile on his face, winding down the window. Just like that, I made my way to his side of the car to see his lips rise even higher. At me. Fuck. "The past 24 hours have been fun." He said.

"Sucks our first date wasn't a solo one," I said, resting my arms on the window ledge of the car. 

He raised his eyebrows.  "The ice cream date wasn't a date?"

"I wasn't sure!"

"That was a date." 

"I think both parties involved have to be certain in the moment to say that the date was actually a da--" 

He reached for the strings of the hoodie, pulling them gently to bring me in his direction and cut off my words. When he kissed me, I melted. I was never going to get tired of this. 

"I'll see you at practice," I mumbled against his mouth before using every molecule in me to pull back from him. "Wait, do you think the team's going to know?"

"About us?" He waved a hand. "I'll give them the last practice of the semester."

That was two weeks away. "You think they're that oblivious?"

"I don't think they're going to care that much," He said. "They might figure it out by our next date."

"Which is...?"

He tsked. "Maybe you'll know when you get all your assignments done."

I backed away, patting the side of the car. "Okay, go."

"L," He laughed, the sound as bright as the snow on the ground.

"I'm supposed to go get my all assignments done," I said. 

"No," He shook his head. "You're supposed to kiss me goodbye."

We both grinned at each other. He stayed in front of my house for a good five to ten minutes until he drove away. Before I went inside to face the multiple pestering questions of my best friends, I finally answered my sister's message.

Me: I feel good. I feel happy.