Ahhhhhhh the 28th of September just 5 months ago I was staring at my dog Lola for the last time. Many reminders I'll tell you that!!!! Almost funny how I expected her to last longer. Just goes to show I have a of IMAGINATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyways what hurts the most is that I look to the spot she was last in and feel the urge to cry and pet her hair and its well we all know I can't do that. Also my mom acts LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED IN FACT SHE IS HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAPPY I DON'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The questions tonight. Its like Lola never existed like she was never here. That hurts am I the only one who understands. 

Anyways when I told my friends I put my dog to sleep this girl Victoria as you know says she probably died because I couldn't take care of her. She also said this just goes to show that I'll never be a vet because I'll kill the patients. I wanted to slap her so bad. But her words bit into me like a snake. For some point I belived her because I neglected my other dog. I was just so sad the leash felt empty with only one in my hand. Seeing my mom sending Lola's old trays to honduras. I just couldn't watch her fade away. I mean the way Lola stared at me was like she saying good bye and this is all your fault at the same time. It was heartbreaking. I told my mom never to wash her collar because it sits their in the hall unused reminding me of her everyday.

LOLA I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11