Zara

"Zara, Open the door. It's me, Asher." I heard my brother knocking into my door. It had been days since he decided to come up to me. After my fight with Rayn and Mia 2 days back, I showed up in front of his door. He didn't answer the door or even contacted me all these days. I am sure that it might be because of Hazel and her fiance Will. I didn't get to meet her fiance yet. But I hope I could soon.

My brother started to bang on the door. 'Did he come to know about the abortion?' I thought. If it is so then it would go all wrong. I slowly walked to the door and opened it for him.

"Yes brother, what happened?" I asked as I saw his face. His face was tired and moreover, it looked broken and awful. He looked a bit drunk too.

"Can I come in?" He asked.

"Yes, of course." I invited him in. He walked over and sat on the couch near the window. I had a room with one of the best views of Grace town. We could see the vast green field and mountains from here. It was nearly midnight.

"What happened to you, my brother? You look sick." I said.

"I am sick Zara. I am sick of this world. Do you know what this world does to you? It hurts you through your wounds. Do you even know what lies you are fed up since our birth? You don't but I know. I am sick of this truth. I sick of my life." He mumbled with a frowned face.

" What are you talking about? I don't understand."

"Oh no. You don't. You always lived in your fairy little world. I love you my sister and because of that, I don't want you hurt anytime. That's why I never told you anything especially my relationship with Hazel." He stopped talking and started to think.

"Brother-" I started to say but cut me off.

"Zara, my dear little sister. When you fall in love with somebody, clutch onto them like they are your life supporter. Don't lie to them. Don't even try to say things that hurt them. Even if you are saying all those for your dear brother who lived a hell of life due to the fault of his parents." He said looking into the dark sky out of the window.

"I don't understand what you are saying brother. How much did you drink?"

"My pearl. My dearest Amira, I will tell you but don't be sad. You being sad hurts your dear brother. My princess, Do you know what your dear father really is? He is a coward, a liar, He destroyed our mother's life as well as two other's life. Did you know that we have a brother? Yes, Amira, we had a brother. You have a brother like me Amira. Our father destroyed his life. I destroyed his happiness Amira. I killed him." My brother started to whimper. He laid down on the bed on his back.

"Shaqiq..." I whispered saying the Arabic word for brother. I only called him that when I really feel for him. "Shaqiq, what are you saying? We have a half brother. Who is it? Tell me."

"You don't want to know anymore, my pearl. You can't meet him anymore. We already lost him." He mumbled.

I don't understand what my brother was trying to say. I have an older brother like Asher. It's impossible. Who is it? I need to know the answer.

"Brother... Shaqiq... Asher... Wake up. You need to answer my questions. Shaqiq..." I tried to wake him up but he was falling into a deep sleep. I don't want him to sleep until I get my answers. I tried to shake him again until I heard him mumble his next words.

"Why did you left me, firefly girl? I love you. I wanted to build a home with you. Why did you believe me when I said I don't love you? I loved you then, now and forever. I can't get rid of you out of my mind. I shouldn't have said those words to you back then. I did all that for Abid, My -" He falls into his deep sleep.

My brother is still in love with Hazel. He wanted to make a family with her but now she is making one with another man. I could understand the pain my brother was going through. I had been seeing him eat his pain alone for the past 8 years. He was desperate to find her. I should have told him everything but the deep fear of losing my brother was resisting me from doing it. I had a lot of questions in my mind.

'Why did he broke up with Hazel if he was deeply in love with her? What does he mean by having a brother? Why did he leave Hazel for Abid?' All these qualms were bobbling with my sanity.

I watched Asher sleeping on my bed. He looked exhausted and tired. He was also one of the reasons why I had lost my best friend Hazel. I had the major part to be blamed since I overreacted that day 8 years ago. I became a wrong sister to my brother and a wrong friend to my best friend. I always think about how I met Hazel. How she helped me and changed me.

9 years ago...

"Welcome to Grace Central Ms.Ross." said the principal of grace central.

I didn't want to really come from Dubai but my dad insisted on coming here since my dear brother reformed within 2 years of his life in Grace Central. Asher totally became a different person when he came back to Dubai from Grace town. He was always smiling and had a positive attitude to life. He was a badass spoiled son but when he returned he was just different. Different in a good way.

"We wouldn't give admission in the middle of the school year especially senior year but since you are a special case, we are giving you a chance." The principal said. "Your brother was an excellent student her, with his reference we couldn't say no to his sister. I hope you won't disappoint us."

I nodded. I was mostly a shy type. I didn't have many friends at my previous school in Dubai. I was an introvert which is exact opposite to my brother. Since my mother's death, I was always bleak and mum. I couldn't really open up to other people. My dad always was busy with his business and my brother was always in his own world even though he really cares about me.

"I will introduce you to your new friend and guide. She is in your class." The principal said and at the same time the door knocked and a girl with dark hair opened the door.

"You may come in Ms.Levaro. This is the student I am assigning to you. Help her, would you?" Principal Mr.McCleary said and dismissed us.

"Hey, I am Hazel. I am in your class. What's your name?" The girl said as we walked through the corridor.

"I am Zara." I said smiling shyly at her.

"Are you from the middle east? Your accent sounds like someone I know." She asked curiously. I just nodded as I didn't know how to open a conversation.

"Alright. I am sorry if I am too loquacious. I just... My best friend left Grace last year. I don't have a girlfriend after she left. I thought maybe we could be friends." She said. She was being really good to me.

'Now or never Zara. Talk to her.' I said to my mind.

"We could be friends." I spoke the words finally.

"Alright! Awesome. I will introduce you to my other friends too. There is Rayn, Shiro, Stef, Sid, and Hayden. They are wonderful people. Little crazy but really good souls." She said excitedly.

She took me to my first lesson and helped me settle up. I found myself having little chats with her. It really felt good to talk with someone. She invited me to lunch where she introduced me to her friends.

"Oho... Who is this beautiful lady beside you, Hazel?" A boy with golden blond hair whistled. There was a Japanese looking boy whose mouth was hung open by seeing me. There was an Indian looking handsome guy with another handsome guy sitting comfortably in the corner.

"She is Zara. Zara This flirting golden boy is Rayn, This Asian boy with his mouth hung up is Shiro, Those two sitting in the corner is Sid and Hayden. There was one more person-" She started to look around. Suddenly a lean cute boy came with a guitar and took the seat next to the Japanese boy.

"Ah! Here he is. This is Stef. He is the nicest guy in this group." Hazel introduced. The boys all started to hoot at her.

"How are you finding Grace?" Asked Shiro.

"It's good." I replied.

"You know, you are the only girl I saw being friends with Hazel after Mia left." Rayn gave me an approving nod.

I became friends with all of them very soon. I found myself mingling with all of them. I found courage and confidence in making new friends. Hazel was really friendly to me. The guys pointed out that Hazel was always sad after Mia left and it was the first time she laughed with another girl. She was always in between a bunch of guy friends but now she felt good being my friend.

~~~~
She helped to be more social and I healed her from losing her best friend. We really enjoyed each other's company and helped each other a lot. But it all went down when I learned her dating my brother behind my back.

I sat on the couch in my for a long time thinking about everything. I couldn't sleep nor could I see Asher sleeping on my bed. Every time I see his face, I get regret for every wrong thing I have done. I checked the time, it was 3 in the morning. I decided to take in some fresh air.

I walked on the road in front of the hotel. It was dark and very cold but It didn't affect me much. Abruptly, a black car ran onto me. It stopped right in front of me.

"What the hell? Are you blind?" Asked the person who came out of the car. In the dim headlight, I saw Hazel in her usual black attire coming out of the car.

"Where are you going in a hurry very early in the morning?" I asked.

"I could ask the same question to you." Hazel snapped.

"Now you care about me all of the sudden." I said in a low tone.

"I always cared about you, Zara. It was you who didn't even listen to me." She snarled.

"Hazel, I am sorry. I was wrong about everything. I did a very cruel thing. I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have done this to you and my brother." I cried.

"No, Zara. Don't say anymore. I don't want to remember it." She said.

"Yes, we need to say about it. It's high time my brother knows about it. I may lose him but he deserves to know what I did to you both. All these eight years, I watched my brother suffering alone because of one mistake I have done. He loves you, Hazel. He loves you more than anything in this world." I whimpered.

"Is that so, Zara? Then why the hell did he leave me? How can I believe you when you refused to believe me first hand? I don't want to talk about it, please." She said.

"Hazel, Asher loves you. I saw him all these years and he was simply suffering alone. He came to me drunk at midnight and was in a very bad condition. He said something about doing it for Abid. I didn't understand him but he did that for Abid. At least that's what I know."

"I don't wanna know. Whatever happened it is past. Now forget it and move forward. Do that Zara. Don't remind me of the past."  She said and walked back to the car.

"Wait... Tell me one thing. Can you forgive me?" I asked giving a final hope.

"It's not me who has to forgive you, Zara. Whom am I to forgive?" She said and drove off to the country road that leads to Grace Central.

She was not the only one to forgive me. There was my brother too. I walked back to the hotel lobby. When I returned back to my room, I saw Asher walking up.

"Aah! My head is gonna explode." He groaned. I gave him aspirin and water for his headache. He looked sober enough after sometimes.

"Shaqiq, It's time to clear something." I said. My brother looked at me curiously.

"What?" He asked confused.

"Do you recollect what you said last night?" I asked. He again looked confused then after a few seconds, his face changed as if he got caught in a lie.

"You need to tell me everything, brother. Do I really have a brother as you said? Who is he? Did pappa cheat our mother?" My brother looked dreadful. He kept silent and looked everywhere but me. I went near him and sat by his side.

"Please tell me. I deserve to know." I begged him.

"Zara, Our father was a big liar. He cheated our mom with his high school sweetheart. He only married our mother for her wealth. We had a half brother my dear sister. Someone who we knew."

"Had? Why are you saying that in the past tense?" I asked him confused.

"Because he is no more alive. He died because of me." He whispered in his sorrow.

"Who?" I snapped. Tears were falling on my face. I always had respect for my father. Even though he was a busy man, I really loved him. My mother died when I was really young. Asher and my father were the only ones for me after that. I never expected my Pappa to be a man committing adultery.

"It was Abid." My brother whispered.

"What? How is that possible? Allah, this is not true. I can't believe it." I cried. Asher holds me very close brushing my hair.

"My pearl, Zara, you are living in a perfect world where you don't come across all this mess. Some life is different, my princess. In some life, there are people who don't know who they really are. Some people grow up without knowing their mother or father. Some die even before they know the truth. You wouldn't know these shades of life like that Zara because you are innocent." Asher said looking deep into me.

My brother wouldn't know the truth. My brother don't know what his dear had done to him. She killed his baby who wasn't even born. I was guilty and sinful.

"You don't know that Shaqiq, I am not innocent like you assume me to be. I did something very horrible to you and Hazel 8 years ago." I cried.

'This is the right time Zara. Tell him everything.' I said to myself.

"What are you saying? What did you do to Hazel?" Asher asked shaking me.

"She ran away because of me brother. She left because of the sin I did." I cried.

"What is it? Tell me Zara Amira." He shouted at me.

"I... Oh Shaqiq, don't hate me. Never hate me. I don't want to lose you too. I didn't know what I was doing. I should have done otherwise. Please don't hate me." I cried even more.

"TELL ME." Asher snapped.

"I... I... I helped to kill someone, brother. I killed someone who didn't even see this world. I am a murderer." I said looking into my eyes. His eyes were burning with confusion and resentment.

"I killed your baby."

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Mahal kita. #filipinomode

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