I fell down the Kyman rabbit hole tonight... a lot worse than I wanted to. And I find it... adorable? Awesome? (I always shipped it but it's climbing ranks.) I don't know what the word is for what I think of the ship... but I've seen some messed up shit tonight... and my dirty little mind loved it. I'm fucked up but as long as there is consent, I'm up for it... so if this sounds like Kyman, know I just watched videos of it for 2 hours straight. Hah. Straight and I in the same sentence? Also, this is a sort of personal thing I'm writing about here, so... if Kyle is out of character, I'm sort of having the last time before I let it go...
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I catch up with Kyle.

"I have a lot to ask you, okay?" I ask.

"If this about what happens with Eric, shut the fuck up and leave me alone," Kyle says.

"Eric?" I ask.

"Yes? That is his first name," Kyle says.

"You have never called him Eric with me," I say.

"Shut up, Wendy. This is personal, so stop bothering me for ones," Kyle says.

"Isn't he violent or something?" I ask.

"No... no, he is not," Kyle lies.

"Shut up," I say.

"Well. Yeah, maybe. But no can do, I'm pretty sure I've been violent towards him in the past," Kyle says.

"Past?" I ask.

"Knew him in middle school. Look. I'd like to think I have changed from back then but I clearly I haven't," Kyle says.

"Are you... blaming yourself?" I ask.

"Eh. Maybe. I'm a terrible person, Wendy," Kyle says.

"No you're not," I say.

"You don't know me well enough then," Kyle says.

"Say three reasons you are a terrible person," I say.

"I was so terrible to Leo and the rest at first, I'm more than happy to get drunk and become a Kenny 2.0. I just hurt everyone. I'm a lying piece of shit. I'm always angry. I feel bad for the wrong people. I'm pretty much a minion to everyone," Kyle says.

"Fucks sake! I thought you were good at math! Three, not more than three," I say.

"So?" Kyle asks.

"And look, you're awesome," I say.

"I just... I wished that I was different from what I used to be... but I'm not. I'm still the same piece of shit as I always was. And Eric showed me just how terrible I am," he says.

I push him back on the wall.

"What the fuck has he done to you?" I ask.

"Nothing," he lies.

"You're protecting him. Why? We all know how terrible he is! You don't need to protect him," I say.

"He just... he has redeeming qualities," he says.

"No! You're not going down this again. No, he doesn't. And if he does, they are so small he might as well not have them," I say.

"This?" Kyle asks.

"I was your fucking friend when this happened the first time. You shouldn't meet with him anymore! Your fucking mental health is far more important here," I say.

"It's difficult to see. I've been evil towards him, and I know I've done some illegal shit to get back on him," he says.

"What does he do to you?" I ask.

"Mentally beats me down so bad I don't even find the energy to fight back when he hits me and then he tells me how he works. He's really interesting," Kyle says.

"You're with Leo, not him," I say.

"And I'm aware of that. He's just interesting from a different point. From the point of morality, not logical thinking or any point of love, especially romantic. He is a master with people, I'll tell you that," Kyle says.

"What else do you know?" I ask.

"That I don't know if our families really want to meet us, he's made them really really messed up because we are taking such a long time," Kyle says.

"Is my dad okay?" I ask.

"Mentally or physically? From what I hear, physically, he is going fabulously. But from a mental standpoint, no, he is not. He's like everyone else," he says.

"What the fuck makes him think he is allowed to go and do something like that to actual living people?" I ask.

"He's an orphan. He keeps calling it that. His mom died when he was 16 and his dad was never there, so, he keeps referring to that, if he does something wrong," Kyle says.

"But I'm not evil and my mom died when I was fourteen?" I ask.

"I do not think it's a good excuse but it's an excuse," Kyle says.

"Everyone has an excuse! Would you forgive Jack the Ripper for killing so many people? Because I'm sure he had an excuse," I say.

"Look. It's different," Kyle says.

"No! That's the excuse someone in an abusive relationship uses for their abuser! It's not allowed! It's not right! Look, you're not going back, this is going to get postponed but this is not the Kyle I know, and I fucking know what happens if we let you do this!" I say.

"I'm being like Heidi... aren't I?" Kyle asks.

"Heidi?" I ask.

"Mine and Cartman's ex. Everyone always thought she was stupid. But she snapped at a point and is in therapy for it. Cartman got her fucked up, basically made her kiss his feet," Kyle says.

"Well... yes. You are acting like Heidi. Maybe not to the same degree but everything starts at something," I say.

"But I'm not Heidi, I can pull through here. Trust me... I just needed a reality check," Kyle says.

"If this happens again, I'll swap out for you. Deal?" I ask.

"Fine fine, i understand. Thank you. For letting me know how fucked up this is starting to make me," Kyle says.

"Hey, no problem. I'm your best friend. Am I not?" I ask.

"Nah, Stan is climbing up to that rank. But you're a really good friend," Kyle says.

"Well... I like Craig better than you anyway!" I say.

He laughs and hugs me. I hug him back.

"Can I join here?" Kenny asks.

"Come on over, Blonde boy," Kyle says.

"Really? Is that my nickname?" Kenny asks.

"No, just come here for a hug," Kyle says.

Kenny comes in for a hug, with a smile on his face.