On Saturday morning, the kitchen appliances we ordered arrived along with the technician who was installing the dishwasher. I thought Luke had gotten me a countertop one or something small like that but the man came with a tall but narrow one to install in one of the lower cupboards which I had to scramble to clear. I probably needed a written consent from my landlord but it was too late now. I would just have to figure it out later.

I was sorting the clean laundry while the technician was working when my cellphone rang.

“Did they get it all done?” Luke asked.

“Almost,” I answered, glancing at the kitchen. “He brought a real dishwasher, Luke.”

“Uh, I definitely didn’t order a fake one,” he said in an amused tone. 

“Did you switch the order or something?” I demanded. “I’ll probably get into trouble for installing this without permission.”

“I’m sure your landlord would appreciate your initiative to install a dishwasher in the suite at your expense,” he answered. “Makes it more attractive to the next tenant. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

I sighed. “I shouldn’t have let you talk me into this.”

“It would’ve shown up today regardless,” he said, chuckling. “How much longer does he need?”

“He said probably another ten minutes.”

“Oh, perfect,” he said. “Buzz me in. I’m on my way up with breakfast. See you in five.”

I stared at the phone after he hung up.

This situation with Luke was an absolute puzzle despite the fact that I was actually getting used to it. 

After our shopping spree and fast-food dinner on Wednesday, things fell into more of a routine. 

Luke joined me at Cleo’s on both Thursday and Friday morning and talked me into car-pooling with him to work. He ate with us on Thursday for lunch but had to skip on Friday for a business meeting. On both afternoons after work, he drove me home. On Friday night, we hung out at my apartment after making pizza and watched a movie, spending the rest of the evening talking afterwards until he reluctantly left at about midnight.

And now at ten in the morning on a Saturday, he was showing up at my apartment with breakfast.

Part of me still suspected that something was going to give his agenda away, if he really had one to begin with, but other than his usual affectionate displays, Luke tried nothing that went past our friendship’s boundaries. He was always sweet and considerate—which I realized was just Luke’s nature—but he still teased and bugged me, even occasionally calling me baby when he was being playful, although never once in front of Jillian or other employees. He didn’t show signs of slowing down when it came to spending time with me but as flabbergasted as I was about his actions, I couldn’t deny that I was actually having a good time and for the life of me, I didn’t want it to stop anytime soon. 

My hand went up to my hair which was piled high in a messy bun and I wondered whether to fix it up or not. I had changed into a pair of gray cotton sweats and a basic white shirt for the appliance delivery but I’d forgone the makeup and a hairbrush. 

I don’t think Luke is going to care. If he does, that’s his problem for showing up on your day off.

The technician was just gathering his tools and cleaning up when Luke arrived, carrying a brown paper bag and a coffee tray from Cleo’s. He was casually dressed today in a pair of faded jeans and a gray cotton shirt which showed off his broad shoulders and his strong athletic arms. This was the first time I’ve seen him in something other than his usual dress clothes and he looked younger and more relaxed.

He greeted the man with a smile and handed him a rather large tip as he saw him out the door.

I waited with my arms crossed, leaning against the fridge, watching him in half-amusement, half-exasperation. “You should’ve left that to me. I would’ve handed him something for his trouble and sent him on his way.”

He shrugged and cleared a spot among the manuals and warranty certificates on the counter to set the coffee tray and the Cleo’s paper bag down. “It was my idea. Besides, you probably would’ve spent twenty minutes just chatting up the poor man and thanking him for doing an awesome job. I know you’re a sweetheart but I’m hungry.”

“You didn’t have to wait to have breakfast with me,” I protested, doing my best to ignore the heavenly freshly-baked smell wafting out of the bag. “I was thinking of asking that guy to demo the thing for me.”

“I can demo it for you,” he said.

I raised a brow. “Why? Are you handy with dishwashers? I doubt you ever have to deal with dirty dishes often.”

“I have one at home and if yours is really that different, I can read a manual,” he argued, taking out a couple of boxes from the bag. The first box had bacon and cheese biscuits and the second one had a small assortment of muffins. “For now, don’t worry about it. I’m sure it’s fine.”

He handed me my coffee and a biscuit. “Eat. Now.”

“I can feed myself just fine, you know?” I said as I reluctantly took a bite of the biscuit. “But thank you.”

He smiled broadly so I thought I should probably keep going. “Not just for breakfast but for, you know… everything.”

His eyes looked bluer when he smiled for some reason but I was quickly distracted from it when he leaned in to kiss the bridge of my nose. “You’re welcome, Max, and good morning.”

He took a long sip of his coffee and I nibbled quietly on my biscuit. Both of us were just looking at each other without saying anything.

“So, tell me,” I finally said. “What are you doing here this morning?”

He shrugged. “I wanted to see how the installation went.”

“You barely glanced at the dishwasher.”

“I wanted to have breakfast and I really like Cleo’s and you live practically next door to it.”

“It’s getting better but I’m not sure that’s all of it.”

“I wanted to see you.”

“You’ve seen me everyday in the past week.”

“You don’t like seeing me?”

“I’m the one with the question.”

Luke sighed and set his coffee down. “Why are you interrogating me, Max?”

It was the first time this week that I felt Luke’s defenses coming up. 

“I’m trying to figure out why we’re doing this—why you’re doing this,” I said, hating that I couldn’t quite articulate what it was between us. But then again, I couldn’t if I didn’t know what it was.

He was quiet for a moment, his jaw tense enough that I could tell he was getting agitated but I couldn’t back off now.

“Maybe I just liked spending time with a girl who didn’t have all kinds of expectations about me,” he ground out. “Are you telling me I’m wrong, Max?”

I thrust my chin up. “You’re naive if you think you can get so close to someone without any expectations, Luke. If you don’t want anything, you keep a good distance.”

When he still didn’t say anything, I got more frustrated which meant I prattled on more. “I’m not expecting your wedding ring or your everlasting love, Luke, if that’s what you’re worried about or at least what you’re used to from girls with expectations, but I think I deserve the right to know what it is you want from me if you’re invading my life like this.”

“I didn’t realize I was imposing too much on you,” he said in a low, clipped tone, his posture suddenly very rigid. “My apologies.”

I couldn’t help but scoff a little. “Somehow, I think that little would’ve stopped you when you had your mind so set on it. Which brings me back to my question—what are you doing here with me?”

He rocked back on his heels, his grip on the coffee cup so tight I was worried he was going to crush it. In the short time I’ve known him, I haven’t seen him this intense and I quickly realized I missed the lighthearted Luke who’d been around me so much in the past few days. 

I caved in a little. With a sigh, I crossed the small distance between us and took the cup from him, our fingers brushing each other. It took him a few seconds to relent and only after I put my other hand reassuringly on his arm. 

“I’ll be honest, I don’t mind having you around at all, Luke,” I told him gently, looking up into his eyes. “But you showed up one day and haven’t stopped since so cut me some slack if I’m asking why. I went from being on my own so much to suddenly being with you all the time.”

He relaxed just the tiniest bit. “I thought we already established that we’re officially friends.”

“We did but tell me, do you do this with all of your friends?” I asked bluntly.

When he didn’t say anything, I had my answer. It was no answer at all, really, because it didn’t help explain the situation with Luke but it was better than trying to make it all fit in the box we labeled ‘friendship’.

I grabbed the boxes of baked goods and tipped my head in the direction of the couch. “Come on, let’s sit and have a proper breakfast.”

“I think I’m gonna go,” he said, picking his coffee back up. 

My heart actually plummeted into my stomach. “Luke.”

He was all closed off now, his eyes shuttered.

“See you around, Max,” he said before turning around and slipping out the door.

I wanted to take back our awkward and ugly confrontation. If I’d kept my mouth shut, Luke and I could be enjoying breakfast together right at this moment. But I didn’t because things had changed so much in so little time that I got very, very afraid. 

It was like being lifted and spun around so fast, the adrenaline pumping in your body so much you start to think you could fly.

But I wasn’t that kind of whimsical kid. 

All I could think of was the danger of suddenly being dropped out of the blue and being left broken.

Luke’s departure stung more than I thought it would but it would be nothing to the kind of pain I know I’d feel if I blindly let myself fall.

***

“I didn’t realize you had clothes like that in your closet, Max,” Jillian commented dryly the moment Ryan and I showed up at the table where she was already enjoying a tall blue drink. She had to yell because the pre-show music playing was already pretty loud and the crowd was quite thick in the cramped bar.“If I’d known we were going fancy tonight, I would’ve dug something up.”

“I’m glad you didn’t because one, Max is already going to cause me enough trouble tonight and two, I think the neon guitar is pretty cute,” Ryan said before popping over to the bar right behind us to pick up the drinks we’d already ordered on our way over.

Jillian’s dress code was either preppy or quirky and tonight she showed off both in a sleeveless black tank with a glowing pink and yellow neon guitar artwork, a black billowy lace skirt that skimmed her knees and hot pink sneakers. With her black-framed glasses and her blunt bangs framing her heart-shaped face, she nailed nerd-chic right on the head. She looked comfortable and confident which was more than I could say about how I felt with what I was wearing.

I wasn’t really sure what crossed my mind when I bought this outfit on an impulse early this afternoon after I went for a long walk around downtown to clear my head. 

It was a very tight pair of glossy black pants that almost fit like leggings but it clung to my legs and hips so well that despite the slight muffin top I got around my middle, I had to get it. I bought a nearly sheer, billowy, sleeveless top in pale gold that disguised my waist and I accessorized it with a chunky statement necklace. I paired it with the most impractical pair of high heels I owned but hardly ever wore—shiny black patent pumps. With the hair I spent an hour painstakingly blow-drying and the dolled-up makeup I had on, I looked like I was going somewhere fancier than Sonic, which was no more than a casual music bar.

“You prettied up for Mr. H?” Jillian asked.

At the mention of Luke, I bristled. “I dressed up because I felt like it. Luke’s not even going to be here tonight.”

Jillian frowned. “But I thought he said—“

“Luke’s got better things to do with his Saturday night than hang out in this dive with us,” I snapped.

The look of hurt that flashed across Jillian’s fade made me want to shove my foot into my mouth but it was too late.

“I, for one, don’t think there’s anything wrong with our company even if we’re not the movers and shakers of the world, and I know you love this place so don’t call it names,” she huffed out. 

“Here’s a drink, Max,” Ryan said as he handed me my usual long island iced tea. “You sound like you can use it.”

It was hard to miss the slight disapproval in Ryan’s tone and between that and Jillian’s wounded expression, I sighed out loud and slumped in my seat.

“I’m sorry, that was mean of me,” I said morosely, taking a long sip of my drink. 

“What’s crawled up your panties?” Jillian asked, curious but still grumpy. Then she paused and her eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Or worse, what didn’t? Or should I say who?”

Ryan groaned. “Jillian, can’t you do visuals that aren’t as graphic or as inappropriate?”

Jillian shrugged. “Fine. Who’s crawled up your female-specific undergarments?”

I choked on the drink which for a second threatened to spurt up my nose and out. Jillian handed me a napkin helpfully and Ryan, with a resigned sigh, patted my back. 

“My panties and other undergarments are perfectly free of anything and anyone crawling up them but thanks for the concern,” I replied, dabbing my mouth clean. “Can’t we just say I had a crappy day and leave it at that?”

“Well, hopefully it gets better now that I see Mr. H striding in like he owns the place,” Jillian said, her gaze focusing on someone behind me. “Well, you never know. He might actually own it.”

My spine went ramrod straight. 

I haven’t seen Luke yet but my heart started hammering in my chest like it wanted to escape as badly as I did. After our disastrous conversation this morning, I didn’t know what to say to him. I wasn’t even sure I could look him in the eye.

It later occurred to me, a long after after he’d gone, that maybe I went too far and read too much into the situation. Yes, it was strange how we were but then I hadn’t known Luke that long to be sure that his normal wasn’t my strange. If I hadn’t let my mouth run with me, maybe we wouldn’t have this gaping chasm between us where I felt I was teetering over, a small shove away from plummeting into certain death or something similarly awful. In the week I’d known him, Luke had been my friend and now it felt like he wasn’t anymore and that sucked a lot more than I thought it would.

I stalled, letting Ryan intercept him with what sounded like a hearty male clap on the back.

“Hey guys,” came Luke’s breezy greeting as I felt him come up pretty much behind me. “Thanks for letting me tag along. This place is really starting to get packed.”

“The Rogues and Rascals are a local celebrity so they have a full house anywhere they have a show,” I blurted out in a surprisingly steady voice, edging back so I could casually turn in Luke’s direction. 

He was already looking at me, his usually bright eyes shrouded in the shadows of the dark hair that fell across his forehead. In the dim lighting of the bar, I could barely make out his expression but he was definitely looking at me with a quiet intensity that seemed uncharacteristic of him.

“Mr. H, you were just in time,” Jillian peeped up brightly. “Max was just telling us about her undergarments.”

“I’m officially withdrawing my undergarments out of this conversation,” I bit out even though my cheeks were on fire. “Any more mention of them and I’m going to seriously consider punching that person out.”

And just like that, Luke’s face lit up with a grin a second before he broke out laughing. “Alright. We’ll leave your… unmentionables out of the conversation tonight, as alluring as they are, I’m sure.” His gaze leisurely swept over me but the moment he realized it, the twinkle in his eye disappeared. 

“You look nice, Max,” Luke said too politely before turning to Jillian. “You too, Ms. Dane.” 

“Thank you, Mr. H,” Jillian said gamely, sipping her drink. “Glad you could join us. Max here wasn’t so sure you’d deign to spend the evening with lowly folks like us.”

Luke’s eyes turned sharply to me and I decided to brazen it out. “It was a casual invitation. Didn’t mean he absolutely had to go if he didn’t feel like it. I’m sure Luke’s the kind of man who’d like to keep his options open.”

And as if a canon ball had actually just been fired, a heavy, deafening silence fell over our group despite the growing chaos around us.

And here I thought you were backing off. You were just trying to make room so you can fire at him again.

“Well, no one likes to be boxed into a corner, for sure, but don’t worry, I’m here of my own free will,” Luke finally said with an attempt at a lighthearted laugh. “And right now, free will is compelling me to get a drink. Can I get anyone anything?”

We all mutely shook our heads and watched Luke saunter toward the far end of the bar.

“I’m not even going to ask,” was all Ryan said as he straightened off his seat and picked up his drink. “I’ll go hang out with the guy before he decides to completely regret coming here tonight.”

I frowned at Ryan. “Don’t make it sound like it’s my fault.”

Ryan cocked a brow. “I think you can both share the blame on this one, whatever it is you’re both doing to each other.”

And with that, Ryan turned and headed for Luke.

“What’s going on?” Jillian prompted, her brows furrowing in confusion. “You two were inseparable for an entire week you almost resembled a nineties romance flick and tonight you’re both so cold to each other you could have icebergs for babies.”

“Let’s just say we drew the line that friendships don’t cross,” I muttered under my breath before taking a long sip of my drink to avoid having to say more. Before I knew it, my drink was gone. That was a first for me, tossing back alcohol in less than five minutes. 

Not a good sign. But then tonight, I’m not in the mood to be good.

“Come on, let’s grab a spot in front,” I said as I sat my glass back down and nearly yanked Jillian off her seat. “I want to sing and dance and scream my lungs out.”

Jillian just looked at me with a curious expression before flagging a waitress on our way to the crowd gathered by the stage. A couple members of the band were already on stage, testing out their instruments.

In the throng of people, I glanced over my shoulder to find Luke. He was at the bar with Ryan, talking and smiling at a tall brunette he was hip to hip with. How long did that take? Ten seconds?

Cold settled in my belly like fine ice and I whirled away, focusing my attention on the heat and glare of the stage coming to life, welcoming the chaos that might just fill the sudden emptiness.

***

A/N: Hello everyone! Hope this chapter gets you a little bit on the edge about Luke and Max. This isn't going to be the last of these kinds of moments when the lines they think they don't want to cross blur for them a little (Yes, I'm sure Blurred Lines is playing in your head right this second =P). Anyway, if you've noticed that the chapters are a bit shorter, it's by design. I didn't want to write a book of the same epic length as TMMM. i want to write this story with a bit of a faster pace. 

Sorry I'm a bit slow this week. I'm still sick. Been sick for like 3 weeks now and work isn't helping. Ugh. Anyway, enjoy!

P.S. I love this song. This is like Luke and Max written into a song. =)

XOXO! 

-Ninya

 ♪♪♪ Chapter Soundtrack: Don’t Say You Love Me by Gabrielle Aplin♪♪♪

Summer comes, winter fades
Here we are just the same
Don't need pressure, don't need change
Let's not give the game away

There used to be an empty space
A photograph without a face
But with your presence, and your grace
Everything falls into place

Just please don't say you love me
'Cause I might not say it back
Doesn't mean my heart stops skipping when you look at me like that
There's no need to worry when you see just where we're at
Just please don't say you love me
'Cause I might not say it back

Heavy words are hard to take
Under pressure precious things can break
And how we feel is hard to fake
So let's not give the game away

Just please don't say you love me
'Cause I might not say it back
Doesn't mean my heart stops skipping when you look at me like that
There's no need to worry when you see just where we're at
Just please don't say you love me
'Cause I might not say it back

And fools rush in
And I've been the fool before
This time I'm gonna slow it down
'Cause I think this could be more
The thing I'm looking for