Reuben stood with his back to her—fully clothed, incidentally—and there was no woman on top of him, or beside him, or anywhere in sight for that matter. There was, however the figure of a little girl with a stick her hand standing opposite him, a stick which she used to batter him from all sides with all the force she could muster. Whirling around him as she did, she looked like a crazed dervish.

"Yes," Reuben groaned his encouragement, as one of the blows hit him right in the stomach. Ayla could see that he was having trouble trying not to grin. Obviously, he was enjoying himself tremendously. Well, as soon as he noticed her, that would change instantly! "Yes, Fye, like that! Harder! I'm your enemy, remember? You want to kill me! Faster! Harder!"

"This is a stick," the little girl complained, waving her weapon discontentedly. "You can't kill anyone with a stick! I need a sword."

And she jumped forward to emphasize her words with a blow to Reuben's knee. He didn't even flinch. But he pretended to, enthusiastically.

"If you used a sword, you'd cut me in half and I wouldn't be here to teach you tomorrow," he pointed out.

"Hm. That's true, I suppose. Well, I guess I can continue using a stick for now."

And she wacked him again, eliciting an impressive, if obviously fake moan of pain. "Die, you rancorous, vile worm! Die, you black villain! Die, you... you..."

"Lumpish, guts-griping lout?"

"Thank you. Die, you lumpish, guts-griping lout!"

"Oh no," Reuben proclaimed with an evil grin. "It is you who shall die, you unnatural little beast! You milk-livered, withered witch!"

Raising a stick of his own, which was the oak to Fye's sapling, he parried several of her blows. But she was so fast on her little feat that she got more than one past his gard.

"Die! Die, you dankish hag!" he proclaimed, and gave her a gentle nudge with his club that sent her flying backwards into the mud. She splashed into a puddle of rainwater, but before Reuben could even take a step forward, she was on her feet again, shooting forward like a mouse intent on stabbing an elephant to death.

"Never, you clapper-clawed whore-master!"

"That's a good one," Reuben complimented her, parrying her attack. "Even I've never heard that one before."

"I got it from my brother. I shall tear out your heart and feed it to the crows, you poisonous sperpent-egg!"

"I must have a chat with that brother of yours. Sounds like a promising young lad. By the way, do serpent-eggs have hearts you can feed to the crows?"

"They do if I say they do! Die!"

"Never!"

Ayla judged that this farce had gone on long enough. It was time to make a few things clear to Reuben. She stepped around the corner of the wall and cleared her throat.

The pair continued fighting as if nothing had happened. Well, it really wasn't surprising that they hadn't heard her over the banshee-like screaches the girl was uttering.

"You're good on the attack already," Reuben said, swiping another blow of Fye's aside. "But you need to work on your defense."

"Not if I kill you now!"

"Kill me? Hardly."

Moving to the side, Reuben touched Fye with his stick. She tried to block his stick with hers, but even Ayla could see that it was never going to work. Three times he touched her like this, slowly moving around the little girl, always attacking one vulnerable side.

"You need to hold your weapon higher," he told her. "Stop for a moment, and I'll show you how."

Cautiously, they both lowered their weapons. Reuben took a step forward, looked up—and caught sight of Ayla.

"Oh. Um."

Ayla met his gaze, steel in her eyes. "Indeed.

"Err..." Reuben cleared his throat. "Fye... Maybe I'd better show you another time."

His stick clattered to the ground.

"Reuben Rachwild!" Her gaze sparkling with dangerous blue fire, Ayla took a step towards him. "What in Heaven's name do you think you are doing?"

Reuben stepped past Fye, not noticing that that she was raising her stick again.

"Err... Ayla. Let me explain..."

Unfortunately, he didn't get out any more than that. Fye had apparently decided the momentary break Reuben had asked for was over. From behind, she launched a blow at knee-height. It caught him right in the back of the knees and with a surprised sound, his legs gave way, sending him face-first into the mud.

"Victory!"

With a triumphant cry, Fye jumped onto Reuben's back and began hopping up and down like a deranged, blood-thirsty rabbit. Reuben raised his head from the ground as far as he could, spitting mud.

"You little...ng!"

Fye's stick hit him in the back of the head, plunging his face into the mud again.

"You're dead!" She declared, stabbing the end of the stick into his back. "Stay dead, like you're supposed to!"

Ayla stared, not knowing what to feel. Earth-shattering relief that Reuben hadn't betrayed her? Boiling anger at what he had secretly been up to? Amusement at seeing the mighty knight being knocked into the dirt by a five-year-old girl?

She felt a smile tug at the corners of her mouth, and immediately tried to impose a grim, reproachful expression on her face. This wasn't amusing. Girls weren't supposed to fight, especially not one as young as this. It wasn't funny. No, it really wasn't.

Then why are you smiling?

Good question.

"Yay! I have won!" Jumping off Reuben, her muddy face split in two by a mighty grin, Fye waved around the stick in front of his face. "Surrender, you sniveling plume-plucked nut-hook!"

Ayla's half-smile vanished from her face. She didn't know for sure where the girl picked up such language, but having heard the exchange between the two, she could guess.

"How can I surrender if I'm already dead?" Reuben growled.

"Oh." The little girl frowned. "Can't one make dead people surrender?"

"No."

"What a pity. Can one torture them?"

"One can, they just won't notice it."

"Hm." The little girl tucked at a strand of a disheveled hair, thoughtfully. "But what if I think it'd be fun anyway?"

"Then I'd say you have excellent taste." Hastily, Reuben threw up a look at Ayla. "Although that's only my personal opinion," he quickly added. "Generally, it is seen as very wrong to torture people. Very wrong indeed."

Ayla through him a "you're not getting out of this as easily as that"-look.

"Hm." Fye tapped her stick on the ground, sunk deep in contemplation.

"Can I get up now? I think Lady Ayla would like to have a word with me."

Turning, Fye blinked up at Ayla. She had obviously not noticed her before.

"Hello there. Have you come to beat up Sir Reuben, too?" she asked.

Focusing her gaze on Reuben, Ayla narrowed her eyes.

"In a manner of speaking."

"Do you want to borrow my stick?"

"No, thank you. I don't think I'll need it."

Stepping past the little girl, Ayla advanced on Reuben, who had picked himself up by now and was trying to clean the mud of his clothes with his fingers. He wasn't having much success.

"Well... how nice to see you, Milady," he said, his voice insanely cheerful. "Fancy meeting you here. Beautiful day today, isn't it? The best weather we've had in weeks."

"Reuben...!"

"And the birds... have you ever head the birds sing as lovely as today? Of course there aren't that many of them anymore since we've started shooting them down for fletching, but the ones that are left really sing quite beautifully. If you're really quiet, you can hear—"

"Reuben...!" Stepping even closer to him, Ayla raised one hand until her forefinger hovered just under his nose. There was a piece of mud stuck to it, decorating it in a manner she would normally have found highly amusing. Not today, however. "Have to goodness to explain to me what I just witnessed."

"Well... that was me standing up. I got knocked down, you see, and I don't generally like lying on the ground in the mud, so I used my legs and arms to get up and—"

"Reuben!"

"Yes, Milady?"

"Don't play dumb with me!"

"I would never do that. Far from being dumb, I'm always extremely loquacious in your company."

"Don't try to worm your way out of this with word games! This time, you've gone too far, Reuben! Enough is enough!"

He put on an innocent expression that almost looked genuine. "Now, really. What exactly have I done that is so terrible?"

"You need to ask that?" Whirling around, Ayla pointed at Fye, who was swinging her stick in the air, stabbing at an imaginary enemy. "You have corrupted this innocent child!"

"No, I didn't," Reuben said.

"No, he didn't," Fye said, from behind Ayla. "Ha! Die, foul villain!"

"There," Reuben said, gesturing at Fye. "Do you hear? I didn't corrupt her."

Righteous indignation rose in Ayla. How dare he hide behind his victim? "The girl has been seduced by your evil! She does not know what she is saying."

"Yes, I do," Fye's voice came from behind Ayla.

Compassion for the poor thing overwhelmed her. She turned towards the girl, and pulled her into her arms.

"Hey!" came a muffled protest from close by her ear. "Let me go! I want to kill my enemy!"

"It's all right, dear." Gently, Ayla patted the little girl's head. "You don't have to do this anymore. I'll take care of the bad man and punish him for what his done to you."

"The bad man—I suppose that's me?" she heard Reuben asking. She ignored him.

"You just give me that ugly stick and run along and clean yourself up," she told Fye, giving the girl an encouraging smile. "Soon, you'll be with your mother again and this will all be a bad memory."

"My stick? You want to take my stick?"

"Yes, dear. Come on, give it to me."

Slipping from Ayla's grip like an eal, Fye took a few steps backwards. Her eyes narrowed, and she raised her stick over her head. "If you try to take my stick, I'll whack you on the head so hard you won't wake up for a week!"

"Don't you dare," Reuben growled. "If you hit Lady Ayla, I'll give you the spanking of a lifetime!"

Ayla whirled around. "Reuben! How dare you threaten the poor child with violence? All of this is your fault! If you hadn't put her up to this, she wouldn't endangering herself with that ugly club to begin with!"

"Yes, I would," Fye piped up. "I've been bashing on things for ages! I know that the big baddy is coming, and I want to bash his head in when he does! Sir Reuben just saw me, and he said he'd teach me how to bash people better!"

Ayla's mouth opened in surprise. "Reallly?"

Reuben went for his chance and went for it. "Of course! You don't suppose that I would do something so unforgivable as to corrupt an innocent child, do you? I merely did my best to prevent her from hurting herself."

Ayla took a threatening step towards him. "By attending to it yourself?"

"I'd never hurt her!"

"You knocked her into the mud!"

"And all her bones are still intact."

"My ass hurts, though," Fye commented.

Ayla extended an accusing finger towards the girl. "There! There, do you hear that, you villain? The voice of innocence, condemning you!"

Reuben had the gall to grin at her. Even enraged as she was, that devilish grin of his made Ayla tingle all over with the desire to touch him. Yet right now, she didn't want to give him a caress. No, she had something far less gentle in mind.

"Well," he said, "I've always been a pain in the ass, haven't I? I don't see why I should stop now."

"You...!"

"Besides, no one had died from a sore ass yet, you know."

"And what about your infamous maledictions?"

"Malewhat?"

"The profanities which you yourself use so freely, and which you have taught to this sweet little girl? You have infected this poor innocent's mind with evil!"

Reuben frowned. "If I've infected her with evil, how can she still be a poor innocent?"

"Reuben!"

"Sorry. I was just asking."

"Speak, Sir Knight! What is your defense on this? How can you justify teaching this girl vile oaths and foul expressions?"

"It wasn't just me, you know. She has taught me a few new expressions, too."

Ayla sent him a withering look that made clear this didn't count as an extenuating circumstance.

"Your excuses won't get you out of this! You have turned her mind to evil and have brutalized her. Have you any idea how long it will take to undo the damage you have done, if it's even possible?"

Turnig to the little girl, Ayla bent down and held open her arms. "Come, Fye. I'll take your back to your mother."

The girl wrinkled her nose. "My mother is boring."

Ayla hadn't expected this reply. Frantically, she searched her mind for an appropriate answer.

"But surely you'll be glad to be back with her, after this terrible ordeal you've been through."

"Well..." The little girl tugged at her muddy hair, thoughtfully. "It might be fun to see what happens if I whack her with my stick."

"Fye! How could you say such a thing? You are supposed to honor, love and respect your parents! And you will give that horrible club to me before we go. Give it to me now, or I shall be very, very cross with you."

"I just thought I'd point it out," she heard Reuben's voice from behind her. "That's probably not a very effective strategy. Threatening to spank her yields much better results, trust me."

"Reuben?"

"Yes, Milady?"

"Shut up."

"Yes, Milady."

Fye was looking at Ayla with her head cocked, curious. "Why are you supposed to honor, love and respect your parents?"

"Well... um..." Ayla floundered. She had always been taught this by her elders, and with the kind of father she had, honoring, loving and respecting didn't seem too hard. But she had never actually wondered about the reasons. "You just are supposed to! That's it."

"But what if they're really silly and annoying?"

"Err..."

Ayla didn't have an answer to that. The only ones that occurred to her were that parents weren't supposed to be like that—or, that if they really were, children were supposed to honor, love and respect them anyway. Neither answer seemed entirely satisfactory.

"I'm sure they aren't that bad," she coaxed, holding open her arms again. "Come. I'll take you to your mother, and you can forget all about this horrible idea of wanting to fight."

Fye studied her intently for a moment. Then she shook her head. "No, thanks."

"I told you," Reuben growled. "You're going about this all wrong. Let me show you how to do it." He took a step forward, and waved at Fye. "Come here, your little toad, or I'll rip out your intestines and strangle you with them!"

"Reuben! How dare you—"

Ayla's admonishment was interrupted by Fye's delighted squeal. She dashed forward, past Ayla's open arms. Turning, she watched open-mouthed as the little girl dashed right into Reuben's open arms, letting herself be picked up from the ground and whirled through the air like a ragdoll. An overlarge, screaming, giggling, and extremely happy ragdoll.

Ayla wanted to throw more insults at Reuben, wanted to grab him and shake him until he admitted that you couldn't teach a five-year old girl foul language and swordplay. But when she saw how Reuben whirled the little girl around, making her laugh and squeal with delight, she suddenly felt a lump in her throat, and not a word of reproach managed to find its way past her lips.

"Let me down!" Fye cried, giggling and flailing her arms.

"Or what?" Reuben asked, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "You've already killed me and forced me to surrender. You're out of threats."

Fye just started laughing again. Obviously, she wasn't really anxious to get down to the ground. She was a little devil, happy in the arms of a big and dangerous one.

Ayla looked at the two of them—yet, in a way, she didn't see them. She saw another child, one that didn't exist yet, but that was just as happy in Reuben's arms. She saw herself with them, laughing, happy and carefree. She saw what could be the future.

Lowering Fye and looking at Ayla, Reuben raised an eyebrow. "What's the matter? You have a strange expression on your face, Milady."

She blinked, and the future vanished.

"N-nothing. I was just thinking."

"Oh. Well, if there's nothing else, I ought to go and see how my recruits are doing."

Ayla stared at Fye in Reuben's arms again, trying to recapture the vision. There was something she had wanted to say to Reuben, wasn't there? Something he had done wrong. But for the life of her, she couldn't remember. Just then, holding the little girl in his arms and smiling at her, he looked so perfectly right.

"No," she mumbled. "There's nothing else. You can go."

"Then farewell for now, Milady."

Five seconds later, Ayla was alone in the back yard. It took a bit longer for her memories of her plans of punishment to return. But when they did, they did so with a vengeance.

"Reuben! You dam—"

Ayla stopped herself just in time. Just because she now knew enough foul expressions to give him the titles he deserved, didn't mean she would do it. Although it certainly would feel liberating.

"The angels curse him!" she muttered. "Thinks he can wrap me around his little finger, just with a bit of theatrics and a charming smile, does he? I'll show him! I'll show him!"

Striding after him, she was just about to call out his name, to deliver another barrage of recriminations, when a realization hit her. What Reuben had done was despicable, no doubt—but if he had been here, practicing with Fye, that meant there was no other woman in his live. She had been mistaken! He really, truly loved her—the bastard!

You're angry at him, she reminded herself. Don't forget that! You're absolutely furious! You will go and give him a piece of your mind now! Yes, you may be deliriously relieved, happy and full of love for that despicable piece of horse-dung, but you will make him see reason!

You will! You will!

Well—maybe...

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My dear Lords and Ladies

For those of you who haven't heard yet, I'm working hard on a new secret book project!  The Robber Knight Saga will soon reach its final climax, and by then I will have something even better for you to dig into! My devious scribbler's mind is at work ;-)

Yours Truly

Sir Rob