SEPTEMBER 1810

"I went to the Royal Theater."

For the first time, she saw something in his eyes change. Anger, she was familiar with. Tenderness, yes. But this one was different for she could not tell what it was. He just suddenly... shut off.

The empty look in his eyes was unnerving, not what she had expected for she expected rage.

"I told you not to trust me fully, did I not?" she added, fighting the tears in her eyes.

West's light blue eyes never wavered as he flatly said, "I was wondering when you will figure out, but now it is clear what your trip to Belcourt was all about."

At his words, at the callous way he said it, her tears fell. "You are working against the kingdom."

His jaw clenched. "All I can say, Sasha, is that I am loyal to the true king of this kingdom."

Sasha fought the whimper that escaped her lips. She fought the shaking of her shoulders by clutching her skirts with her fists. "Then you are like your father after all."

His face was completely unreadable, telling her that he knew this was coming and he was prepared. "No, I am never going to be like him. He died a damaged man, but he passed a silent hero. It was his fault, but I do not intend to follow his path."

Sasha shivered at his words. "Why? Because he fell in love with a traitor?"

His jaw tightened. "My mother did many horrible things against the previous monarchy, Sasha, but that is all I am willing to say for it is clear you have made a choice."

She slowly nodded, accepting. With a bitter scoff, she looked around the meadow, their beauty no longer potent as the truth of what she had to do dawned on her. Closing her eyes slowly, she felt the warm tears roll down her face.

Lifting her lids, she searched for his face. "It is a shame. I would have loved to see this place in fall."

He remained quiet, his eyes impassive. He was stiff as stone and at that moment, Sasha would have wanted him to be enraged. But he was not. He was accepting everything.

She inhaled deeply and swallowed and a small whimper escaped her lips as she let out a shaky breath. Her heart was being crushed, clenched dry as she was forced to maintain a strong resolve. "Your club will be raided tonight." Good God, how could he maintain such a blank face, Sasha thought. "I am telling you this because I want to play a fair game. You saved my life and we are now even. It is my parting gift." She paused, searching his eyes. Nothing. There was nothing there. "Know that I do not blame you for keeping your secrets. Our worlds molded us to be loyal first and foremost. Emotions are rendered useless in our worlds, are they not?" she asked, tasting the bitter taste at the back of her throat. "It is merely a shame we have been loyal to two opposing forces."

Finally, he spoke and it was a question. "Is that what you intend to do then, Sasha? Play at the opposing side?"

She squared her shoulders and finally spoke her decision in the only words she could summon. "I intend to win and like our many little games, West, you are going to lose again."

When he kept his mouth closed, Sasha smiled. "Because that is what Belcourt expects from you. You have to lose if you want to win, West."

*****

West frowned as hope began to spread within him. But he tried to ward it off.

Sasha took a step toward him. From inside her pelisse, she took out his father's journal.

And then she handed it back to him.

Her words when he asked her when she intended to return it months ago came back to him.

"When I am certain that I can trust you enough."

He blinked against the tears at the back of his eyes as he breathed in the first real breath he took since they stepped into the meadow.

Her bluish-grey eyes were filled with fear that she bravely bared to him. Her lips were quivering as she held the journal out toward him, waiting for him to receive it. "I am forced to make another choice and you know I always make the unexpected ones." She took another step toward him. "And I choose you," she choked out, more tears flowing down her cheeks. "I am willing to listen and after, you will let me make more choices." He nodded, unable to speak. "But if you prove to be working with the devil himself, West, I swear I will choose to kill you myself."

With a shaky breath of relief, West crossed the space between them in one big step and gathered her in his arms and kissed her—deep, savage, and raw. "I love you," his shakily whispered against her mouth. "I love you..."

She whimpered and wrapped her arms around her neck while he buried his face in hers, letting go of the tears. "I love you," he murmured, gasping air as if he were breathing her in, breathing in life itself.

She pulled back and cupped his face in her hands. "And I love you."

At that moment, West showed Sasha his tears.

*****

They returned to the manor and made love again. It was different for the act felt freeing. Or perhaps they felt the freedom.

And as they lay naked and sated in bed, he told her about his mother. He told her everything Elizabeth Blackwood did. She listened to the story of how a Belle from Belcourt managed to destroy a kingdom by using the man who loved her. She cried silently as Addison Blackwood's story was revealed to her, the betrayal he felt when he learned that his wife used him to plant evidence against Reginald, how she led him to believe that he was the only man.

West remained calm and collected, comforting her as she struggled to accept the fact that Belcourt did more than just support Louis. He was patient when she struggled with the fact that Belcourt used its women and children to cast away a king. And later, when her tears subsided while wrapped in his arms, she told him she would not be like his mother.

"I know," he whispered against her forehead. His arms tightened around her. "God, I know."

Pulling away, West reached for his father's journal and handed it to her. "If I am to lose, give them this. Belcourt has to know that you are loyal to them."

A bitter smile touched her lips. "They will find many things here."

"The Circus had made many changes. They would find close to nothing in that journal. I kept it because it was my father's."

Sasha turned to lovingly gaze at him. She craned her neck and kissed him. "I promise to return it."

He crawled over her and the journal fell on the floor as she wrapped her limbs around him, receiving his kiss.

"What made you decide?" he murmured against her jaw. "What made you make a choice?"

Sasha took his face in her hands and forced him to look at her. "They forced your mother to be rid of her child, and when she did not, they turned the same child into one of their puppets. I intend to take her back to you, West, and I will," she told him, determination in her voice. "Not all ladies in Belcourt are capable of imagining a different life outside for they are not given the choice. They manipulate us by giving us the basic needs that our parents ought to have been giving us, showing us that we can never get it elsewhere. Belcourt used your mother to destroy Reginald through your father and they are doing the same thing to everyone inside. This time, you use me to destroy Belcourt and save your sister."

"I do not like this plan of yours, darling."

"You never liked any of my plans."

"Because you will be in danger."

"No, I will not be." She kissed away the grim look on his face. "But know that I will miss you terribly."

He groaned and kissed her hungrily. His hand kneaded her breast as his other traveled down to caress her scar before venturing lower. And soon, he was inside her again, plunging deep as if it was the last, moving fast as if the world was ending.

Sasha writhed beneath him, taking all of him, taking what she could. "We cannot meet like this until this is over," she murmured in his ear and she buckled at the force of his hips in response to her words. "When you see me with another flower, know that I do not do this with him." A guttural growl escaped his throat. His hands came to her knees, pushing her thighs on her chest as he moved faster. "Until we meet again, please be well," she said as he slowed down, his gaze locked with hers.

"Please," he begged, his eyes brimming with tears. "Do not do this, darling."

Sasha shook her head. "I have to. We have to. This is our sacrifice, West. We do this to save the women and children. We do this to correct the wrong."

His mouth captured hers in hunger, pain, and fury. She met his thrusts with equal measure, spreading her fingers on his hips as tears flowed down her face.

She reached the peak first and he quickly followed, roaring against her neck as he shuddered with pleasure and pain.

Sasha's fingers raked his hair.

"And after?" he choked, lifting his head, eyes searching. "After, will you marry me?"

Sasha nodded, his beautiful face blurred by her tears. She blinked them away, wanting to engrave his face in her mind. "Yes. After, I will marry you."

"No Belcourt."

"After, we will give Belcourt a true purpose." She wiped the tears from the corner of his eyes. "West, no more secrets or I swear to God."

He grinned. "You just discovered the last I have."

At that moment, Seven jumped into bed and started licking Sasha's face. She laughed and gathered the dog closer. Sasha sighed, feeling home. This was home.

But not for now.

Soon.

Her eyes returned to West and she nodded. "Now, it's time to make a plan, Your Grace. Where do we start?"

He gave her a lingering kiss before he smiled. "We start with Lord Darcy."

DECEMBER 1811

West faced the endless ocean before him, his face taut, his mind on one goal.

Two months.

They were gone for two bloody months.

Anything could have happened.

Greene stepped beside him, resting his hand on the railing of the ship. "We will get there in time, Eaton," the man said.

"Sasha does not know who he is, Greene."

"Sasha is wise, Eaton. I am quite certain she had already figured out by now who the rat is."

"That is not what I fear."

Greene nodded. "He knows who Sasha is."

His jaw tightened.

"You gentlemen seem too eager to arrive in Sutherland," a woman's voice said behind them. West and Greene turned to find the ship's captain grinning at them.

"I told you I will take you home safely, didn't I?" Vanessa Lyndon said as she brushed her wavy black hair over her forehead. She looked at both men. "You seem better than two weeks ago when my men picked you up floating in the middle of the ocean."

Greene grumbled something under his breath.

"What was that, Stefan?" Vanessa asked.

"Nothing, woman," Greene retorted. "Have you prepared what we asked?" he asked Vanessa.

Vanessa shrugged. "If you deliver Christopher Hayhurst to me, you have my word. As I have said, my men are ready."

Greene sighed. "Here we go again." Greene shook his head at the American. "You are crazy."

"No, I am not."

"You traveled all the way to Sutherland for a man. Of course, you are crazy."

Vanessa scoffed, looking at West. "I say Blackwood and I are the same. He is traveling all the way back to Sutherland for his woman."

"Not just a woman, Captain," said Greene. "We are traveling back to save a kingdom."

West turned to face the ocean again.

As much as he was proud to say he suffered the weeks of torture on a ship owned by Belcourt for the kingdom of Sutherland, West knew he was coming home for one reason.

And she better be there when he arrived.