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CHAPTER 1 – DON'T KNOCK IT 'TIL YOU'VE TRIED IT

"What crawled up your ass and died?"

I blinked. "Huh?" I also realized I was scowling heavily and tried to relax.

"Alexis Alcantara, did you even understand one bit of what I've said?"

I snapped out of my own pity party and shook my head. "Sorry. Nope," I whispered and took a sip of my coffee.

"You were the one who invited me to brunch and you're here physically but your mind is elsewhere. Something with work?" my friend, Kari, asked. We've been friends ever since we were kids. We were neighbors and we went to the same school. If there was ever one person I'd trust with my life, it's her.

I shook my head. "No. It isn't work this time."

One eyebrow rose. "That's new," she commented. "It's always about work with you," she added. I groaned and resisted the urge to smack myself on the forehead.

"That's the thing!"

"What is?"

"I've been so busy with work; I haven't had time for anything else," I whined.

Yep, my dilemma from last Friday still wasn't over. It's been an obsession now. It's consumed my every waking thought. I've also been on social media a lot this past week trying to check up on friends and how they're doing now.

A lot of them are working abroad. A lot are happily married. Some just got engaged and wanted to be super showy about it. Others already have one or two kids. Like Kari here. She's already happily married and with a one-year old kid who also happened to be my goddaughter.

"Who are you and what did you do to my friend?" Kari asked and then she laughed so hard that the table shook. I frowned and glared at her.

"Ugh. Stop it."

She wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. "Alright, fine. I'm sorry. But that was really funny, you gotta admit."

"Ha-ha. Yeah, very funny," I threw back sarcastically.

"So what prompted this enlightenment?" Kari asked.

I shook my head. "I'm not going to tell you. You're just going to laugh at me."

"Gosh, Alexis. You started this! Might as well see it through to the end!" she chided.

"Fine. Facebook. Happy now?"

Two eyebrows rose. "Facebook?" And then she doubled over from laughing again, her fist pounding the table.

Ugh. I knew it.

"Speaking of Facebook did you see the engagement photos Jenny posted?" Kari asked. I cringed and both of us ended up laughing this time.

"It was so over the top!" I told her.

"Agreed. Gosh, it's not enough to post a selfie showing off the ring anymore. They basically had the whole thing on video! And there's even a scenic shot by a beautiful beach, silhouetted by the sunset and they guy is down on one knee, presenting her the ring."

I gagged and Kari laughed. "I mean it's their call if they wanted to do that. It's just that it feels like proposals are now for the rest of the world to see and judge rather than something that's intimate."

"Yeah. But whatever, right?" Kari replied, rolling her eyes.

I waved a hand in dismissal and sipped my coffee again. Today, I invited Kari out for brunch so I can talk to someone; not over the phone and not over skype or emails. I needed human interaction – the real kind.

"So what's the issue with Facebook?" Kari asked.

Well, here goes nothing. "Everyone I know is either married, engaged, or popping out kids," I said in a flat tone, trying my best to conceal whatever bitterness I felt over the last week.

Kari snorted. "Your point?"

"Crisis alert, Kari. I'm nowhere near what I see on my newsfeed. I'm so far from it and it made me realize that time's running out."

My best friend sighed. "You sound like your mom. Did she give you another one of those lectures wherein you have to get married or all your eggs will shrivel and die?"

Ugh. Yeah. I totally forgot about that part. My mom loved to lecture me about getting married before I turn thirty. After a while of ignoring this, her lectures turned into a sob story saying that I was depriving her of the chance to enjoy a lot of time with her future grandchildren – if I was giving her any, that is. She says she's old and doesn't have much time on this earth to enjoy life with her future grandchildren and I was lessening that further by refusing to reproduce.

That was so wrong. My mom was young and healthy. She just wanted me to settle down really badly and will do whatever it takes to get me to do it. But it's never easy to settle down. It's hard to find someone you just click with.

"No. I haven't talked to my mom yet. She messages me from time to time but thankfully, the grandchildren conversation hasn't popped up again."

Kari laughed. "Wait 'til the next family reunion."

I groaned and resisted the urge to pull my hair. "I know."

Family reunions were the absolute worse. It's that wonderful time of the year wherein everyone, even relatives whose names you can't remember, are all up in your personal business. They usually tell you at first glance that you've gotten fatter. And then after that, they'll ask you why you're not married yet and what happened to the last guy they saw on your Facebook – never mind that said guy is not a boyfriend but a business partner.

"So you just had an epiphany that you're not like everyone else? Since when did you care about being like everyone and doing what they're doing?" Kari asked.

I shrugged. I really don't know what came over me but this sudden realization that I'm alone and that for the foreseeable future, I'll still be alone if I didn't do anything about it, bothers me.

"This is some sort of peer pressure, you know. It's not always nice to look at social media. In pictures, people's lives are perfect. Behind the camera, it's a different story," Kari lectured.

"I know," I repeated.

But what can I do? I've looked at the posts already and now I can't get these thoughts out of my head. And when I set my mind on something, I have to follow through and see it 'til the end. That's the perfectionist, obsessive compulsive part of me.

"So what's the plan?" Kari asked.

I shook my head and wrung my hands. "I got nothing."

"Wow, the overthinker has no plans!" Kari exclaimed sarcastically. I glared at her. "I've got a suggestion," she added.

I frowned. "And that is?"

"Give me your phone."

"That's going to magically solve my crisis?" I joked as I handed over my phone. There was nothing there anyway – no sexts, no nudes. It was all business. If business emails were the new kink, then I am so in.

I sipped my coffee while she typed away. Then, she returned my phone and when I glanced on the screen, I saw that she installed the famous dating app called Finder.

My jaw dropped and I glared at my friend like she just lost her freakin' mind.

"What?" Kari asked, nonchalant.

"Finder? Seriously?" I hissed.

She rolled her eyes. "Rule number one of the game, babe: Don't knock it 'til you've tried it."

I stared at her, open-mouthed.

"What? This is what you wanted!"

I shook my head and waved my phone in the air. "This is a famous hookup app!"

Kari just shrugged. "It is and at the same time it's not. Don't forget that John and I started dating there."

John was her husband. And yes, they started dating online. They've been together for seven years now, married for two years.

"But Kari, you are part of the super small statistical percentage that actually gets married. There's a low chance of things ever evolving into relationships and there's even less than half of one percent chance that couples who met online walk down the aisle!"

My best friend rolled her eyes. "Ugh, Lex. You and your obsession with statistics. Less than one percent is still better than zero. And again, babe. Rule number one. Don't forget."

Mathematically speaking, she was right. Any chance at all is better than none. I took a deep breath and then counted to ten. But clearly, this idea was insane! Was it just me who saw that?

"What's the issue here anyway? Worse case scenario?" she asked.

"That it may not be what I'm looking for. That what they say about Finder is true and that it's all just hookups."

Kari snorted. "Lex, when was the last time you actually got laid?" She said it in a voice so loud that the older women gossiping on the table beside ours turned and glared.

"Oops," Kari whispered and giggled. "Answer the question, babe," she added.

"Ages ago," I replied with a groan.

"See? So there's a chance, even if it's small, that you'll find 'the one' on this app. And if not, you get to clear the cobwebs out of your vagina." She said it as though it was not a big deal at all. It bothered me how she could be so cool about this.

"What if I get my heart broken?" I asked.

Kari's expression softened and she leaned her elbows on the table. "Lex, getting your heart broken is a risk which is there not only for online dating but for the entire dating scene. If you meet someone through a close friend or a mutual connection, that doesn't mean he won't break your heart and that he'll marry you and solve your mom's problems."

I sighed and rubbed my temple. She was right. As always, Kari was full of wisdom. It's just that some part of me can't accept her words. Maybe it's the part of me that enjoyed reading romantic novels while curled up under a blanket on cold nights. That side of me was the girl wanting to be romanced, to be swept of her feet by a knight-in-shining-armor, to have someone I can trust with my heart.

"You know you have me, right? I'll help you through all of this. Since you're new to the game called online dating, I'll be your guru."

I laughed. "I've played the field, Kari. It's not like I haven't dated–" Kari stopped me by holding up her hand.

"Lex, 'played the field' is too strong a phrase to use regarding your past relationships."

"What? Why?"

"You haven't actually played, baby girl."

"Kari, what are you talking about? I've been in relationships before!"

"I know. But you haven't played."

"What do you mean?"

"Alright, you wanted this. Hop on for a trip down memory lane!"

I groaned again, much louder this time. Delving into the past was bad. And in my case, really bad.

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