I'm not pretty.

Well, not conventionally pretty bcuz everyday I wake up, look in the mirror and think damn, you pretty girl!

But that's not always the perception of other people regarding you. Their ideas of beauty can differ from yours. And it's fine, it's totally fine.

But what's not fine is the negative attention. And it's not only in context of people finding other people attractive. It's also about how maybe a person in your friend group is jealous of your looks or is friends with you just to make themselves feel better about themselves.

I know it first hand bcuz we have a girl in our friend circle who is extremely jealous of my other two friends who are extremely beautiful girls and not just on the outside but inside too. One of the best girl friends I've ever made.

And I'm pretty sure this jealous girl is just as much jealous of me bcuz of my confidence, intelligence and no-nonsense attitude despite being "not so attractive" bcuz guess what, intelligence scares people.

And the 3 of us got talking the other day and we all confessed that we don't remember this girl ever complimenting any of us and I shamelessly admitted I've never felt the urge to even give fake comments to such a girl 😂

My friend has told me on multiple occasions how she has felt betrayed and used by her previous girl friends all bcuz she is always the prettiest girl in the room. And trust me, she didn't say it with even a bit of pride. She knows she's pretty but she's sad that that's all people see when there's so much more to her.

And coming to attention from opposite gender, they get so much more bad attention, like attention from bad guys than good attention. And I end up thinking I will never be able to relate. Not because I don't get any attention but bcuz every time a boy has been interested in me, it's always been a good person.

And I can tell you, I know of only 4 boys who have ever confessed to liking me and 1 of them wasn't good but if we look at the numbers, I attract good people more who value intelligence and personality over just beauty. And it's very common in teens and mid twenties guys to look at a girl and decide if they like her rather than deciding they like her after getting to know her. It's just universal and unchangeable.

And it's the biggest tragedy of girls like my friends who are genuinely such good people that they are constantly in the centre of everything but they are not appreciated as people, just beauties.

And I could be a jealous bitch like the girl I mentioned above but what's the point. They are never happy when they delete the unwanted messages in their Instagram. They are never happy when a guy who is clearly not good tries to flirt or talk to them.

But me on the other hand can go completely off the radar and can do whatever I want, however I want knowing I'll end up with good people. Maybe I'll get less attention but it's better than trying to deflect people constantly.

It hurts when the loneliness suddenly hits and you realise that you have no one but then you must remember the pretty girl who is just as lonely bcuz she doesn't have any genuine person's interest.

Loneliness can make you do really stupid stuff but trust me if you power through it, you'll be much better off than giving in to momentary satisfaction and regret it later on.

So, what do we take from this?
Don't be jealous of others, you don't know what they have lost by gaining something you want but don't need. You only need to surround yourself with good people and positive energy. Things happen when they are supposed to happen.

Never ever get with someone when you are desperate and lonely, you'll make bad decisions everytime.

Just wanted to drop this bcuz I think everyone needs this reminder once in a while cuz it's really easy to not feel good when all of us are stuck to our screens watching these conventionally attractive people living their best life.