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Cover 18/20

 I actually didn't hate the cover. It wasn't my favorite, but it did hint towards something more sinister. The font matched the style of the cover very well. I usually don't read horror stories so I probably wouldn't read something with a cover like this, but someone who is a fan of mystery and horror. All of the colors and style of the cover work really well with each other. I really loved the cover for the genre. My only real problem with it was the extra "dead lives" on the cover, it just doesn't look like it fits, maybe a bit of overkill, only because you want to keep it mysterious.

Description: 15/20

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 There is always a kid in class who does not communicate with anyone, sits alone and does not have any friends, He is known as the weird kid. Ella Brown is a happy, outgoing teenager. But the drama starts in her life when she is teamed up with Crovin Fisher, the weird kid. Strange things start happening and after which she has the worst time of her life because of this 'Weird kid'. 

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The description was kind of awkward for me to read. It should be a little more connected to each other in my opinion. It didn't pull me in like I wish it would. A good example could be: 

Ella Brown used to be a happy, outgoing teenager with a life she was content with. Everything changed when she was partnered up with the infamous Corvin Fisher. That was when her life was altered forever and was replaced with mystery and fear. It needs to be more fluid in the description. Although all the tags matched fairly well, there definitely could be more added.

Beginning: 14/20

The beginning was pretty cliche with the alarm. It didn't really portray what the cover did. A better beginning (just as cliche tho) might have been waking up from a silly (or a foreshadowing) nightmare. I do understand that it is hard to make the beginning of the story really grabbing, something needed to be there. It felt a little too descriptive. 

There was too much of where she was and what she was doing then who she was and how she got there. I just counted the first chapter in this. I'm really sorry, but it didn't pull me in and it simply didn't make me want to read it. 

There were quite a few "I" sentences. I'll take an excerpt and show you how I would write it. 

 "I blow dry my light brown hair and curl it a bit with the straight iron. I do not use the curler because I don't like my hair curled, just a bit wavy" - The Weird Kid

How I would write it:

"My hair was blown dry with a hairdryer after my shower, falling into its natural light brown state. I frowned at my hair and plucked up my straightening iron to give it a soft wave. Most people don't think about straight irons for curling, but it works well when beach waves are something you want."

Conventions: 14/20 

I don't mean to be harsh, but you asked for a review and I'm going to give you my honest opinion. Grammar is something that can be fixed, and a lot of your story was only awkward to read because of that. It's a good plot, it just has to be more fluid. There were spelling errors, but everyone has those and they are easily fixable. 

In case it makes you feel better, this is not the worst grammar I have ever seen and you are a good writer, all you need to do is some editing. Such as, you do not have to start a new paragraph every sentence, and make sure you do start a new one when a new person talks.

 I am most certainly no english major, but remember if you need development remember the term PIES which in turn stands for (purpose, importance, effect, and significance). And another thing GRAMMER IS FIXABLE, so just take some time and do some edits.

Characters: 16/20 

It felt kind of stereotypical. The characters did anyway, and a few of the actions Ella did didn't match with what you said she was. In chapter two she is considered a tomboy, but as the story continues we can see her applying makeup often, curling her hair, wearing dresses, and high heels. While it is nice to see people getting out of stereotypes they really shouldn't be given in the first place. 

That would be like someone telling me I was "the nice one" when in reality yes I'm nice, but I'm also a sarcastic, snarky, loyal person. You shouldn't generalize people like that. Like the list of Ella's friends being listed as "The nerd" or "The jock" felt like they were generalizing the person. It's good for everyone to be different so while I loved that Ella liked reading, I didn't like that it was followed with "but not in that nerd way" It's like a passive-aggressive statement. It's almost offensive towards people who love reading, but not quite.

Overall Score: 78/100

 I did love the plot of this story, but the grammar made it hard to read and the stereotypes of her friends seemed cliche. Don't get me wrong, it's a good story, I only wish there was some more character development and an elaboration on the plot line. Another thing is that I wish you would do a bit more foreshadowing in the book. The real suspense and horror didn't start until I was more than halfway through. 

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