Song: "All You Have to do is Dream" by the Everly Brothers

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I woke up Saturday morning with a smile on my face, thinking about the day before. I'd like to say that my feelings resulted from completely selfless and altruistic motives, that I was glad to know that Harry wasn't homeless or destitute, and that I had done a good deed for my fellow man by offering him my friendship in a time of need.

But the smile on my face had nothing to do with that. I was crushing hard on him and I'd be a fool to try and convince myself otherwise. I replayed the events of yesterday. He seemed like a completely different person than that man I'd been worrying over for the past four weeks.

As I got up and made my way to the shower, I let the tingles of excitement in, just for a little bit. You know, those first flutters you get when you meet someone and feel a connection, and you think that maybe, possibly, there could be more than just friendship. I didn't want to get ahead of myself or read too much into the time we had spent together yesterday, but I was almost certain that I hadn't misread that last moment before he left, when it looked like he wanted to kiss  me.

My shower lasted far too long as I replayed all the little moments during which I learned that he was a rather remarkable guy. But I also realized that he couldn't possibly want a relationship as he still struggled with grief day after day. He was the one who said he needed a friend, and regardless of my attraction to him, that was what I needed to be.

And then I started to feel slightly creepy for even thinking about him in any sort of romantic way in the first place. The man was in mourning, and here I was, hovering around like a vulture, waiting to make my move.

It felt wrong, like I was attracted to a married man. He was a married man, or at least he had been. Even though his wife was gone, I still had this vague sense of guilt for thinking about him that way.

What would his wife think of me?

Would she think I was good enough for him?

"Regan, just shut up!" I yelled at myself in the mirror. "You just met the guy! And he's not ready for any of that!"

That did the trick. Being an introvert, my mind was always running away on wild fantasies, often without my permission. If I made a concerted effort, I could usually stop the runaway thoughts before they caused too much damage; in this case, I had to stop them or I'd be planning our wedding by the end of the weekend.

After I got dressed, I started my usual Saturday cleaning. I dusted everything, especially the surfaces that were hit by the sun; there were a lot of them due to my wonderfully large windows. I threw in a load of laundry and thanked my lucky stars that I didn't have to fish quarters out of the couch cushions to carry loads to the basement just to have clean clothes for the next week. I cleaned any spots off my coveted windows; they hardly ever got dirty but I usually touched them up anyway. Lastly, I swept and Swiffered my floors. I couldn't even count of the number of times I had to tell myself to quit thinking about Harry as I worked. 

The weather had done a complete turnaround from yesterday. The sun was shining and the sky was a brilliant blue. It would be practically a sin to waste a day like this inside. I remembered Harry asking if I would want to take a walk some time. This would be a perfect day to take him up on it. I reached for my phone but soon remembered that we hadn't exchanged numbers. And I didn't even know his last name. Well, so much for taking a walk. Maybe that would have seemed too pushy anyway, since we had spent the entire previous day together. Even so, I'd have to remember to get his number when I saw him on Monday. Well, if I saw him.

Apparently my mom was thinking the same thing that I was, that it would be a shame to waste this day indoors. My phone rang just a few minutes after I finished my cleaning.

"Hi honey, do you want to pick apples today?" She asked. It was a family tradition, going to the orchard and filling bushel baskets with all kinds of Michigan apples for eating, drying and turning into applesauce, and if Mom was feeling even more ambitious, apple butter.

"You must have read my mind," I said. "I'd love to. When are you leaving?"

"As soon as you get here," she said.

"Okay, I'm on my way."

Not even an hour later, our ten-passenger van pulled up at the apple orchard. For some unknown reason, my parents insisted on holding on to the ridiculously large vehicle even though they didn't have to cart all of us around anymore. It definitely helped on a day like today, though, when we were going to haul bushels of apples back home.

Collin, Sean and Lauren had come along and I was eager to hang with my sister. But I didn't feel I was quite ready to say anything about Harry, contrary to the epic mind battle I'd had just a few hours earlier. What was there to talk about, really? There was nothing between us besides friendship, so I pushed back the desire to talk about him and analyze every last thing that happened in the 24 hours I spent with him.

I got out of the van and took a deep breath, filling my lungs with fresh fall air and the distinct scent of apples beckoning us to the orchards. In endless rows, the trees grew tall and full off fruit. We could literally spend days gathering plump red apples and it seemed the trees would never run out.

My mom called out the assignments and we got to work. "Regan and Lauren, Spies and Galas; Collin and Sean, Fuji and Ida Reds. Dad and I will work on Cortlands and McIntosh." No one ever accused my mother of being unorganized. She was famous for delegation and results, another reason I didn't think I could have a big family of my own. It would drive me crazy to have to follow up on everyone's chores and schedules, but Mom did it flawlessly.

Lauren and I walked through the canopy of still-green branches, just tinged with yellow and orange, which were hanging heavy with fruit. We started at far end of the row of Spies. We would work together to fill a peck of each and then ask Mom if she was sure she didn't want more. And she usually sent us back for more. One would think our family ate apples all year round, but my mom often gifted friends and family with applesauce and dried apple wreaths. And I planned to take some back to my place as well.

I plucked one particularly round spy, rubbed it on my shirt and took a bite. There was nothing like a fresh, tart apple straight off the branch, the skin snapping and the juice bursting into my mouth. I enjoyed the apple and then resumed picking. I must have let my guard down because the next thing I knew, I was thinking about Harry again, wondering if he would enjoy this, picking apples in general, and picking apples with my family, in particular. I wondered what my family would think of him. I was only vaguely aware of the fact that my mind had once again taken a simple thought and ran away with it like a crazy train with no brakes. But I didn't attempt to stop it. It was too nice to imagine that little dimple in his smile.

"Ray-ray!" I heard Lauren practically shouting my nickname.

"What?" I asked in irritation. "You don't have to yell."

"I said your name at least three times and you didn't even flinch," she said.

"Oh, sorry," I said, shaking my head.

"I was asking if Scott and I could come to your place and hang out after the Lions game next Sunday. I want you to meet him."

"Sure, that sounds great," I said. "Are you going to the game or watching it somewhere?"

"Going," she answered. "I was also hoping we could park by your place and walk down to Ford Field. I hate paying for parking there."

"I'm not sure if there will be space in my building's parking lot, but if you park on the street, there's usually plenty of space. I live far enough from the stadium that parking shouldn't be a problem. You know it's over a mile to walk, though, right?"

"Of course," she said. "It will be fine. So what were you thinking about just now?" She asked.

"Nothing," I said, shrugging.

"Right," she said knowingly. "You were totally in another world just then. What is it? Did you meet a guy? Maybe we can double date."

"It's nothing," I answered. "I'm just tired, maybe. I haven't slept well the past few nights. I was closing up on Thursday night and this drunk guy tried coming into the library. I was just about to lock up but he tried to push his way in. Then he grabbed me and wouldn't let go."

"Oh my god, Ray! Are you all right? Did he hurt you?"

"I'm fine," I said, waving off her concern. "Anyway, another person was still there, so he called the cops and the guy got arrested."

"Holy crap," she remarked. "Stupid bum, grabbing my sister like that," she muttered.

I just laughed and said, "That's why I haven't slept well, just a little on edge, I guess. But I'm all right now. I should sleep like a baby tonight with all this fresh air."

I had to fight to hold myself back on Monday morning. I couldn't wait to see Harry, if he was there, and just say Hi and maybe tell him about my weekend or whatever. I just wanted to see him. I hoped that he had managed to stay in good spirits for the weekend. It did my heart good to see him break out of his funk when we were hanging out together.

I went straight for my book return duties since I knew he wasn't always there right away. But when it came time for me to re-shelve books in the stacks, I could hardly contain my excitement. What the hell was wrong with me, really? So the guy was good-looking and we had a good time together. The fact remained that he was a widower who probably had a long way to go before even beginning to consider another relationship.

Disappointment settled into my gut like a virus when I found he wasn't there. Not yet, and not by the time I finished shelving the books. I checked a few times throughout the day, even though I was pretty sure he would come and find me to say hello if he showed up, but there was no sign of him at all on Monday.

It was the same each day that week, and my disappointment grew, along with a sadness in my heart that I couldn't explain. I had ultimately wanted to help the guy, right? And I think I did. Maybe just having a friend was what he needed to bounce back enough that he didn't need a place to escape to anymore.

It was silly, really, and I talked myself out of the doldrums by the weekend. Lauren and her boyfriend were coming over on Sunday, so I looked forward to that. I was glad for her, but I didn't need a man in my life right now. Harry was just someone who was passing through and I was happy that I had been a stop along the way.

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Let me know what you think - love you all and thanks for reading! xoxo

I dedicated the chapter to DCMurphy because she's been one of my loyal readers and commenters for a long time - thanks, lovey!