♡

"I hope you sleep tight, because I really want to talk to you."

Osamu tiredly rubbed his wrist that was aching with pain again. Well, it was actually because of Chuuya, who was sleeping peacefully in bed. The brown-haired was sitting beside him, staring into nothing.

"Confess to him, and to yourself."

Hesitating, Dazai laid down next to him, facing him.

"Fine, I'm lying," he muttered, exhausted. "It's just if you wake up I won't be able to leave."

Dazai was harsh in decision making. He always finished what he started despite everything. If something popped into his mind, nothing could stop him. And now he decided to leave. Because Odasaku told him so, and he knew, he always knew what was best for him.

He gently pushed back the red strands from his face.

Odasaku was in his heart. Had been, was and would always be. And Chuuya...

Chuuya owned his heart.

"It doesn't stop, Chuuya," he whispered softly, his lips touching Nakahara's forehead. "The pain doesn't stop. I don't know what to do other than follow Odasaku's words. Maybe, it'll be easier for me?"

Obviously, Chuuya didn't answer. Dazai wasn't sure if he was happy or sad. If there was anyone besides Oda who knew him, it was Chuuya. And depending on his answer, he would either leave peacefully or stay. 

"I can't stay."

I know you wouldn't ask me to.

"You'll definitely be mad at me, ha."

I know you'll understand.

The brown eyes ran over his undisturbed face, stopping on his lips. Osamu leaned down, but froze, and then placed a light kiss on his forehead.

"Confess to him, and to yourself. Maybe, it'll be better that way."

"I love you."

The words left his mouth faster than he could realize. They sounded delicate despite their heavy weight. Dazai wasn't sure if he could ever say those words calmly. He wasn't the one who could love, and Chuuya wasn't the one who could be loved.

He closed his eyes.

The mark was aching more, but he didn't pay attention to it, heading towards the exit quietly.

Sometimes, love doesn't feel like butterflies in stomach, it feels like pain.

the end

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original by ddaaazai

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