Jean pinched my cheeks hard, not only was it painful, it was also scary. Jean hated physical contact more than anything in the world. Even if you needed consoling she would only pat the air around your head.

So for her to touch me so casually, it meant something, I didn't precisely know what but it could only be something sinister.

Valentin jumped in, I thought he was going to separate us but instead he ruffled my hair and exclaimed, "You're in for a surprise, old man!"

I looked at him, silently pleading him to get Jean off of me, she was his twin sister after all, he'd know how to handle her better than anyone.

He avoided my gaze. I felt betrayed.

Jean had always been a weird one, so we weren't very close. We never hung out one on one as I didn't know how to approach her.

As I brought my hands up to hers, she suddenly let go of my cheeks and I fell backwards.

Luckily, I didn't fall of my chair. Laura admonished Jean whilst the server brought out our food.

I was conflicted, these were my friends but it felt like they had somewhat changed, it felt like they were getting further and further away from me. It was a new and uncomfortable feeling.

Nothing had ever made me feel so far removed from them, not the distance, not work, not busy lives. Yet, all it took was Miri showing up and all of a sudden, it felt like my chosen family wasn't in my grasp anymore.

I ate my food silently, lost in thoughts and sadness. Sol noticed and he ruffled my hair, "Don't worry, I know this must be confusing for you. We're gonna take a little trip after we eat and I'm sure you'll come to understand everything."

His words confused me even more but I still nodded.

Everyone finished their meal with me still feeling like an outsider looking in on my own family. I felt like an intruder on their happiness and camaraderie, so I really hoped Sol's words held some truth.

We paid and left to find Laura and Valentin's cars. It seemed the group would be Split amongst the two cars for this journey.

I chose to ride with Laura, her joyful personality always brought me some comfort.

She handed her car keys to Dali and ordered him to drive. "I'm gonna stay in the backseat with Eros, he seems a little bit off."

She grabbed my hand, opened the door and shoved me inside. She was always more brutish than the others, but I had gotten used to it.

It came in part from her enthusiastic nature, how hard she handled you was a testament to how much she loved you. In this moment, I was utterly grateful that she was still the same. Despite my shoulder hitting the door hard enough to leave me bruised for a few days, her actions made me feel all warm inside, it felt like I was still important to her.

She climbed next to me and I laid my head on her lap.

Then off we went.

I don't know where we were going, I didn't bother to ask either, as everyone was being so strange and cryptic. For now, I felt content with Laura treating me as usual.

It must have seemed pathetic to an outsider, how desesperate I was to be a part of something. I knew myself that it was quite an ugly part of me, yet no matter how much I tried to shove it down, it never disappeared.

When I was 10, Dali had compared me to a stray dog he found. We both fawned it seemed, we were both people pleasers, too afraid to be cast aside.

At the time I had taken that as a jab from Dali. It was only later on that I realized I had misjudged him. We were 15 at the time and we were having a sleepover at Dali's house.

While looking for a bandaid in his drawers, I had accidently found his journal and peeked inside it. I was looking for a confirmation that he hated me as I had suspected it since that remark when we were 10.

Instead, I had found he had compiled research on what fawning was and how to help people pleasers. He had jotted down several strategies on how to help me and had even devised little plans.

I quickly closed the journal and put it back. I felt really bad for having invaded his privacy and for thinking of him negatively throughout the previous five years.

The next day, I had owned up to my deed and he had just laughed it off. He himself was awkward like me and understood how I could have misinterpreted his words and actions.

Ever since then, we had been really close.

In this car, with Dali and Laura, I felt loved and safe. My fear of rejection was kept at bay, as Laura played with my hair and Dali hummed a Hozier song, I fell asleep.

I didn't know how long the journey took, but when I opened my eyes, it was already dark. I was still in the car, alone.

On top of me was Laura's rust color cardigan and a little note. As I got up and stretched, the note fell between the seats.

I spent a good amount of time looking for it, panicked.

The note had instructions from Dali, it read "You looked exhausted so we let you rest a little bit more. We're by the lake, if you get out of the car and head on straight, you should see us after a 10 minute walk."

I got out of the car and put Laura's cardigan on as it was too chilly to leave without it.

I looked around, I knew this place from Dali and Sol's pictures. This was a vast last with a forest and a huge lake. Every one of my friends' parents owned a chunk of this huge plot of land,they even had houses on the property but for some obscure reason, they never came here.

This land was left pretty much abandonned. Ever since Anya had told me about it, I had been curious. Why purchase such a huge property and never use it ?

The air was fresh and the greenery was beautiful, I wish I could linger a bit to explore. As I headed straight, I couldn't being to imagine why anyone would buy such a beautiful place and leave it empty.

I wasn't looking straight ahead as I walked, instead I was looking at all the beautiful mushrooms and flowers on the right side of the path.

That's why I was so startled.

Or maybe, even if I had seen it coming, I would have still been just as startled.

I heard a huffing noise and turned my head in the direction of the sound. There, straight ahead, was a beautiful lake shimmering under the moon.

Resting in it, barely contained within the lake's bounds, there was her.

The turquoise Imugi.

The one from my dream.