Walker is waiting for me the second I step off the platform of the train station. He's leaning against his black Audi. He looks ready for summer with his beach tan, Top Gun aviators and board shorts. I'm used to seeing him in a tux, since he's usually commuting back and forth to the city, but I prefer this relaxed version of him.

My eyes sting with wetness as I close in on him. I can't wait to live with my dad's. L.A never felt like home but seeing Walker standing here waiting for me does.

Walker smiles and pushes himself off the car to meet me halfway. I drop the suitcases I was wheeling in the middle of the parking lot and sprint the rest of the way, and as I crash into him, he wraps his arms tight around me. I shut my eyes and take in the moment, his gentle rocking motion soothing me. If I'm this emotional seeing Walker, I have no clue what it will be like when I see my dad.

"You look summery," I tell him as we pull away to observe each other. I've missed him so much. They came out to visit during the holidays, but short-lived visits were never enough.

"Your dad likes my Tom Cruise look and I like your dad, so win-win," he says, nudging me playfully with his elbow.

It makes me laugh. I love Walker's sense of humor. He's easier going than Dad and it's clear as day why Dad loves him so much. I remember the day my father sat down to tell me about his feelings for Walker. Even though I was just a kid at the time, I still knew that my parents hadn't actually loved each other for a long time. Dad took me to our favorite ice cream shop and explained that he would no longer be living in our house. That he had feelings for his best friend Walker. It was hard to process but I never once hated my dad for leaving. You can't help who you love.

"Let me help you with those bags." He points behind me to the bags I left behind like they were nothing, and like I wasn't just crying over them a few short hours ago.

"Is Dad busy at the theater?" I ask as he stuffs my suitcases in the trunk of his car.

Dad owns a small movie theater in town called, The Orbit. He's always been a movie buff and his original goal had been to be a director. When his dreams didn't pan out, he decided to open the theater. He knew the ins and outs of how to run a movie theater after working at one in the city for a few years. They were occasionally able to host movie premieres and special events. Seeing the movies before they came out, being around the actors––it all made him feel part of something big even when he never got his foot in the door of the movie making industry. His love for movies is what led to my big break in Hollywood. I wish I could've shared that with him instead of Mom.

"Not tonight," Walker says while we get in the car and strap our seatbelts on. "Dad's waiting for us at home. We have a surprise."

Dad didn't mention anything about a surprise. "Let me guess, he kidnapped Ian Somerhalder for me?"

"Oh, if that were the surprise it wouldn't be for you," Walker teases.

"C'mon, Dad. Just tell me. I don't do well with surprises" I plead.

"You'll just have to wait a whole five minutes," he teases.

His lips stretch into another grin. This will be torture. Walker pulls out of the lot, and we head straight for the town. I'm happy when we pass Dad's theater and see the line of people outside waiting for tickets. You know it's summer in Peconic when you see a line out the door at The Orbit.

We pull up to the small blue ranch I now call home and it looks just as good as ever. The house isn't huge, but my dads are stylish, and the property reflects it. Thanks to weekly maintenance, their lawn is perfectly manicured. It seems they've also just repaved the driveway with fresh blacktop. They aren't rich but the theater makes a decent profit, not to mention that Walker is one of the most reputable media lawyers in the east coast. They have a comfortable life.

There's something new though, a basketball hoop in the driveway. My dads are pretty trim and healthy, but I have never once seen them break a sweat playing sports. They are nerds to the core and would choose a Star Wars marathon over a game of basketball any day.

I get out of the car while Walker starts getting the luggage from the trunk. Something around the front door catches my attention. Was that a little face? My heart jumps and I momentarily forget about it as Dad jogs towards me in bare feet. The familiar sight of jet-black hair swooped over to the side, scruff on his face and round glasses on his nose almost reduced me to tears.

"Lennox," he says, pulling me into a hug. Dad smells like popcorn and candy and I breathe him in. I've missed that smell so much and it transports me back to childhood.

My lip quivers as I burrow closer to him. But I'm happy. This time I don't have to prepare for another looming farewell. Living with Mom was hard, especially once my fame went to her head and I became more of a product than a daughter. With Dad it was never like that.

"I've missed you, kiddo. Let me get a look at you," he says, pulling me at arm's length. "You've grown like ten feet."

"That's impossible," I say, rolling my eyes and biting back a smile.

"You're right but you got taller, and thinner."

I knew he would make that comment. Watching my figure was part of the work I had to put in for my role. "It's just the Hollywood diet," I laugh.

"Well, throw that diet away because pizza is up and ready," he says.

I follow him into the house with Walker trailing behind with my luggage, and I can smell the pizza before we even enter the house. New York pizza is just as good as a Long Island bagel; once you've had them, everybody else's varieties taste like crap. We stepped inside and I notice a small wooden storage cubby with toys in the living room. That's even stranger than the basketball hoop out front.

"I'll put these in your room," Walker says behind me.

I take off my shoes at the door like my parents do to protect the floor and the white carpet in the living room. If I'd lived with them, I would've advised them against it, instead I saw it on Skype when it was too late. Dad leads me into the kitchen down the hall and it looks completely different since I left for California. They've added all stainless-steel appliances and a black marble island in the center of the kitchen, but those details weren't what held my attention.

On the other side of the island, at a small round kitchen table sits a young boy. He bobs his head back and forth, staring out the sliding glass doors. I stop short and look back at Dad and Walker as he comes back from putting my things away.

"Surprise." Dad says it in a small voice. I look from him to Walker and then back over at the young boy sitting at the table.

At first, I'm confused, why would a little boy be my surprise, and then it hits me. "Oh my god the adoption went through?"

Their smiles are mismatched but exude equal amounts of joy. The little boy's blue eyes are wide as he stares up at me, his short blond hair sweeping across his forehead.

"What's your name?" I ask him, walking over to the table and sitting down across from him.

Walker is the one who responds, "Elijah. Elli for short."

I extend a hand across the table, waiting for Elli to take it but he doesn't. His eyes shift from me to the window.

"Hi Elli," I say.

His lips twitch, but his gaze remains on the window. I glance over at my dad's.

"He's autistic," Dad says.

"Oh." I've heard the term autism before, but I haven't met someone on the spectrum. Or maybe I have and didn't realize. "Can he talk?"

Walker comes over and sets the box of pizza down in the center of the table and dad helps with some plates and cups in hand. Elli looks at me, then down at the pizza. His hands flap with more enthusiasm and finally the smile blooms on his face.

"A little." Walker says as he crouches down in front of the boy. Elli looks at him for a moment before he's distracted again. Walker places a hand on Elli's cheek, and he turns to him. His smile is distant, but he still looks happy. "Hey Elli, can you say hi to your sister? Her name is Lennox."

"Ex, ex, ex," Elli says a few times in different tones of voice.

"Hi Elli, it's so nice to meet you." I keep my eyes focused on him as I say hello but his attention splits back between Walker and the dark outside the window.

"Meet you," Elli replies.

I'm not really good with small kids.

"I bet you're hungry," I say, and he nods.

My dads have been wanting to adopt for a really long time and I'm so happy it has finally happened. Even though the thought of having an autistic brother is scary, he seems like a great kid and I can't wait to get to know him.

During dinner I find out a lot about Elli's past. His mom was an addict, and he never got the proper care he needed but that has changed thanks to my parents. Over the past three months since they've had him, Elli has been evaluated and has a placement in the fall. He also will have a special therapist. They will be coming to the house three times a week to work with him. My dads have this glow on their faces that I've never seen before, and I love that Elli put it there.

After dinner I'm so tired that all I can do is say goodnight to everyone before heading up to my room. Being back is weird. I only stayed here a few times after the divorce, on some holidays and weekends without ever having a chance to decorate it and make it my own. Now that I'll be staying a lot longer than a three-day weekend, I can actually make it my own. The grey walls are plain, and I wouldn't mind tacking up some movie posters, or maybe hang up a cork board of pictures.

I kneel on the bed and look out into the only window in the room. It has a nice view of the backyard and during the day, if it's clear enough, I can actually see the bay in the distance. My suitcases are propped against the wall near my favorite part of the room: the walk-in closet. The door is slightly ajar, and I can see some of the clothes I left here from when I was thirteen. My style has definitely changed since then but all I can think about right now is my soft fuzzy unicorn pajamas.

My phone goes off as I'm getting them from the suitcase, and I pause to look at the message on screen from my best friend.

Alexa: Friend date, tomorrow noon! In need of a summer makeover, what do you say?

That puts a smile on my face, and I message back right away.

Me: YES! I can't wait. I have so much to tell you. See you tomorrow.

A makeover sounds perfect. No matter how much time apart we spend, Alexa will always just get me. She's my best friend and has stuck by my side, even when I went all "Hollywood".

I love that being back in New York gives me an opportunity to reinvent myself. Sure, people will know who I am, and eventually I'll be sought out by the media, but for now it's calm and I want to take that opportunity to find me.

Going out to L.A was the opportunity of a lifetime and a dream come true, and now looking back I realize that it changed me. Not just how a regular person grows up, from thirteen to seventeen years old. What happened in L.A made me see things differently than I would have if I hadn't gone out there.

There are days where I wonder if Mom and I would have had a better relationship if we had stayed here. Or if I never met Chase, maybe my heart wouldn't hurt so damn much. The thought about what if haunts me. I can't go back and change things, and I'm not even sure I'd actually want to, but that doesn't stop me from wondering.

A makeover is just what I need. It's the first step in a long quest to find out who the real Lennox Taylor is.