*trigger warning*

Chapter 14

Reed

"Come on, Jonah," I said, following him down the street to the grocery store to pick up a few more snacks, mainly for me. I didn't like going out for meals much, especially when the diners and restaurants were crowded.

"I said no, Reed," Jonah said, stopping in his tracks and turning to face me. "Look at you. You still have a slight limp and you're holding your ribs. There's no way you're going to be able to safely get on and ride a horse without injuring yourself even more."

I quickly moved my hand away from my ribs. "It doesn't even hurt that much," I said. "I'll be fine. Fate is a very difficult horse to ride."

"And that's supposed to convince me to let you ride him how?" Jonah asked.

"Meaning to ride him, it has to be a very skilled rider," I said. "I am a very skilled rider. I don't fall off. Well, not often."

"Yeah, that's still not happening," Jonah said, continuing his walk to the store.

I sighed and follow him, trying my hardest not to make it show that I was limping so Jonah would try to reconsider letting me get on my horse sooner rather than later. I hadn't be on my horse in months, not including when I ignored Jonah a few days ago and got on Fate anyway.

It didn't last anyway. Not even a minute.

"Jonah, you really don't understand," I said. "When thing were rough at my home, Fate was the one thing that kept me strong. Me losing him was like losing a part of myself. I need to bond with him again."

"You can," Jonah said. "Just by not riding him. Look, I'm happy you have your horse back. I am. But my parents made me responsible for you. If you get anymore hurt, they'll probably ground me for life. You asked for a doctor's appointment to get a professional opinion, so I made one. Two days. Think you can wait that long to see what she'll think."

"Nope," I said. "I cannot wait that long."

"Well, you're going to have to," Jonah said, opening the door to the grocery store and letting me walk in. He picked up a basket and immediately headed down the snacks aisle with me following. "In the meantime, I suggest you just find something else to take your mind off of your urge to go horseback riding. You said you're a musician as well. Play some music or something."

I snorted. "Yeah, I wish I could be too bad I don't have my guitar. Or keyboard. Or flute. Or oboe. Or mandolin. Or drumkit. Or even my harmonica."

"You have all of those?" Jonah asked.

"Had," I said, scanning the shelves and seeing some sun-dried tomato and basil flavoured crackers, so I picked it off the shelf. One of my favourite snacks ever. "My dad pawned off all of it." I placed the box of crackers in the basket before looking back at the shelves. "Every single instrument."

"Are you serious?" Jonah asked. "You're a musician and he just... He just sold all of your instruments?"

"You sound surprised," I said. "It's the same man who sold my horse. Don't be surprised over it."

"I am surprised over it," Jonah said. "A lot of people focus on one or two instruments, maybe even three. But two be able to play seven, and then just have all of them ripped away from you?"

"Who said I could only play seven?" I asked. "That's just all I had at home. My dad selling my instruments, yeah, it hurt. But it came after Fate was sold. Nothing killed me more than to have my horse, a living being, sold just because my dad was being a selfish..." I took a deep breath. "I really need to stop talking about it. It's not good for me."

"Right, sorry," Jonah said. "Well, I would let you borrow my guitar but I'm too protective over it. I don't even let Linnea touch it."

"Understandable," I said.

We picked a few snacks before heading down other aisles. Right before we were heading down one, I spotted that man. The man I had to stay away from and suddenly felt like he was everywhere.

I quickly went back to the other aisle we were just in, my heart beating rapidly. If he ever saw me, my life would be over.

Jonah walked back into the aisle as well. "I've seen that look before," he said. "That man... He's here?"

I nodded. "Jonah, you really don't understand how much I can't have him see me."

"I saw how much he hurt you," Jonah said. "I know what he's capable of."

"No, you really don't," I said. "I'll... I promise I'll explain everything but we have to leave before he sees me."

"Okay, I'll just come back another time to get more food," Jonah said, so we went over to the checkout with me anxiously looking back to make sure the man never saw me.

He didn't.

After Jonah and I left the grocery store, I didn't say anything until we got back to the motel. We went to my motel room and I sat down on my bed. "You know," Jonah said as he closed the door behind me. "I've been thinking that we should all just get a hotel room instead. It will probably feel more comfortable than staying here. More room."

"You're stalling," I said. "Usually, I would be the one to stall in a situation like this."

"I just... Wanted to give you time to change your mind just in case you don't want to talk about it," Jonah said. "You're a really reserved person."

The more days that passed, the more it felt like Jonah was my actual brother. We couldn't stand each other but now, he was like the older brother I never had. The one I really wished I had while I was going through all that crap.

I was not going to lose the opportunity of having a sibling here for me when I really couldn't handle everything going on.

"Borderline personality disorder," I said.

"What?"

"That's my second mental illness. The one I have the be on medication for."

"Okay, I honestly haven't heard of it before."

"As simple as I can put it, it's instability with my moods, self-image, and behaviour. Have you ever noticed that even though it's the summer, and quite hot out, I'm always wearing long sleeve shirts or sweaters?"

"You're changing subjects fast."

"I said I'm going to tell you everything. There's a lot. Have you noticed it?"

"Actually, yeah. I just never thought much about it because other people do it to. Not too much, but still enough that it's not the weirdest thing out there. Why did you bring it up?"

I looked down and reached for one of my sleeves, but not moving at all. I hated looking at them. I hated the reasons that caused them. I hated it.

"Reed?" Jonah asked, his voice going soft. I looked up at him, seeing the concerned look. I didn't have to pull up my sleeves for him to know. He just knew.

"I haven't done it since your parents started fostering me," I said. "I've been close but... I haven't. The scars... They're still there. And I don't want anyone to see them. I don't even want to see them."

Jonah walked over and sat down beside me. "Reed, I am so sorry you have to go through all of this," he said. "And I promise you, I'm going to be the big brother I have to be to make sure you never feel any type of way that would make you want to hurt yourself."

"That's... that's not everything," I said. "The reason I don't want that man to see me..."

"I already know," Jonah said. "It's because your dad owed him money but since he passed away, and so did your mother, it's you."

"And you remember how I told you in the hospital that there's one way I can pay it off?" I asked.

"Right," Jonah said. "Why don't you do it? Get him off your back for good?"

"You wouldn't say that if you knew what it was," I said. "I'm fifteen, Jonah. Fifteen. Just keep that in your mind when I tell you that the alternative I can do... That man offered it to my dad when my family was homeless. And you know what my dad said?"

"I'm guessing he agreed to it," Jonah said.

"He did," I said. "But my mom refused to let it happen. She took me away from my dad and that was the last time I ever saw him. That other alternative... Was for me to be pimped."

"Pimped as... as in...?" Jonah couldn't even finish the sentence once he saw me wipe a tear from my cheeks. "And your dad... Your father who was supposed to protect you agreed to it?"

I nodded. "Now you see why I'm trying to avoid that man. When he attacked me, he brought it up again. I refused. He told me I had to find some other way to pay him."

"How much exactly?" Jonah asked. "Maybe I can help."

"I doubt it," I said. "Unless you can somehow raise tens of thousands of dollars."

"Oh, trust me. You have no idea what I can do when I set my mind to it."

__________________

yes jonah please protect my son forever and ever. (even though you're my son too but reed is the more damaged son)

and wait until you see a mad jonah. if there's one thing he can't control, it's his anger. and when he gets mad, he gets MAD.

so anyone want to see a mad jonah ;)