The sounds of her feet striking the pavement were heavy and forced as Lithium ran, the momento in her hand. The metal was cool and emotionless, but so was the blade she kept her in pocket. The objects held no warmth other than the warmth she gave them. Tonight was different. Tonight, the world had shaken and caved in around her, trapping her under the rocks of things said and done.

Iris. Iris was gone. And it was because of Bucky. How was it possible that her best friend had been killed by the man she now considered a friend, possibly even more?

Had. She had considered him a friend. Lithium wasn’t sure if she still did. It was all so complicated. All so devastatingly difficult. How could she possibly contemplate the circumstances and the outcomes, outcomes she could easily control, when the simple truth of it was that she was scared.

Truthfully, she was scared of James. He’d pulled the trigger that had caused the searing pain inside her flesh, and inside her heart when the final bullet had been dealt to Iris. But he hadn’t finished the job with her. He wasn’t supposed to kill her, too. That was how she’d learned her lesson. And Bucky had played along.

But tonight, she would finish the job for him.

~~~

Bucky stood there for a few seconds, watching her run from him, silently cursing himself. What had he done by revealing the truth to her? Bucky closed his eyes, breathing slowly for a moment remembering the day he’d told her of, with the empty streets and the blood that sprayed across the sidewalk.

That was the first day he’d known her. Even with blood staining her clothes, coating her skin, even with tears running down her cheeks, Celeste had looked like an angel. A fallen angel. It was why he’d paused before the last bullet that would kill Iris. The ‘hibernation’ periods that Hydra had forced him into had suppressed the memory, but now that it had come back to him . . . Bucky couldn’t stand to face her. He’d committed a terrible crime, affecting someone he now cared for terribly. Nothing he could say or do would allow him to go back in time and right these wrongs, either to Celeste, or to Steve.

And yet, something about Celeste’s departure unnerved him. The way she’d run, the direction -- she wasn’t going home. Lithium was heading towards the remote areas of town, without a word to his solemn offer, his failed offer at closure. She’d taken the object, and yet something about her expression had spoken of a deep brokenness, as well as intense anxiety.

~~~

“I-I’m sorry,” Bucky had stammered, pushing back his hair from his face. “It was Hydra’s order. I was . . . I was their puppet. You know how it works, Lith. I didn’t mean to hurt her-! I didn’t . . . I have never wanted what they made me do.”

“You’re lying!” Celeste insisted, backing away from him. “You have to be lying! The Bucky I know would never do something that horrid!”

“Because who I am now isn’t who I was then!” James returned, his voice strained, his expression stressed with a mixture of sorrow and regret. “Can you truly say you’re the same now as before you left them?”

“But . . . You can’t have killed her . . .” Lithium replied slowly, her eyes looking up to him, desperation written inside them. “You’re my friend . . . You wouldn’t do that to me, Bucky . . .”

“I never meant to, Lithium,” he told her gently, fishing into his pocket. “But this . . . This is the only proof I have . . .” Opening his palm, Bucky revealed the only silver bullet he had left, offering it to her. “Take it. I have no use for it. Hydra told me to keep it as a gift for a . . . Job well done . . . But I don’t want it. And I will never use these again. Because you would be the only target, and I refuse. Not even Hydra could threaten me to use it again. You’re too valuable to-.” Bucky paused. That’s when Lithium had started running, the silver bullet in her hand, wrapped tightly in her fist. “Me . . .” Bucky finished slowly, watching her go, knowing she wouldn’t hear. James turned his head, trying to pretend her rejection hadn’t bothered him.

Yet it did. And while he tried to pretend it was all right, the way she’d left gave him a sense of dread.

~~~

Even though he didn’t want to, Bucky followed her, keeping himself to the shadows as he stalked along the streets, looking for a sign of her. Unfortunately, after the first block where he’d first witnessed her departure, Lithium had apparently vanished. But James was an assassin, a tracking expert. He would find her. He would supervise her until she was under better care. That was all he could afford at this point.

A knot twisted in his stomach. Would he find her too late? Was that even a danger?

A flash of what Hydra had done to her mind crossed his thoughts. Lithium was a vulnerable sort to intense situations. But did this count?

~~~

Celeste, Lithium, didn’t stop running until she arrived at the beach, her chest heaving. On a normal day, the physical strain would heighten her mood, but the proteins in her brain weren’t adapting. Her mind was stuck on a loop, and the thoughts that were repeating themselves were far less than cheery: Bucky killed Iris. The flashes of that day ran through her mind, but now, whenever a spray of blood or a searing pain interrupted the despair, she saw Bucky’s face with it. The world was a cruel place.

With shaking hands, Lithium sat down in the sand, her anxiety striking deeply, which meant it was only a matter of time before the overdose came. She’d been so careful for so long, and now, it was hitting hard against her will. The darkness was starting to descend, and it was terrifying. “I-Ir-is,” Lithium called out gently, looking to the stars in the sky. “I-I’m scared, Ris,” she muttered, feeling the silver bullet that rested in her hand. “Wait for me . . .”

Feeling for the blade in her pocket, Celeste pulled it out, flipping the sharp end so that it was exposed. Holding the bullet steady, she began striking it against the metal of the bullet. It took some time, it took a fair amount of energy and strength, but Lithium eventually whittled the tip of the bullet down until it reached an fine point.

Lithium then threw the blade aside, allowing it dig itself into the sand from the impact, and pressed the bullet to her skin. Forcing it tighter against the flesh and submissive metal, with a slow slide, the skin was broken and a gush of red flew out of the small wound. The pain made Celeste gasp, the metal inside her skin instinctively forcing itself to it’s protective state.

With a deep breath, Lithium forced the metal back to it’s resting phase, and continued sliding the bullet along her skin.

Bucky killed Iris. Bucky killed Iris. Bucky killed Iris.

What had she been thinking? What had she given up? What would Iris think of her friendship with the man who’d assassinated her?

“I’m so sorry, Ris,” Lithium murmured as she started a new line against her skin, the drops of blood sliding into the sand, staining the grains. “I’ll be with you soon . . .”

~~~

It didn’t take Bucky too long to find her, but it had been too long for what she’d done to herself. When James arrived at the beach, all he saw was her collapse in the sand. As he rushed over, he could barely make out the rise and fall of her chest. When he was a hundred feet away, the stains in the sand became visible. Coming closer, he realized exactly what those stains were, and what exactly Lithium had done.

He would not allow her to die tonight.

“Don’t you go lights out on me, Lithium,” Bucky murmured, examining the damage. Wincing at the depth of the cuts, Bucky ripped off the sleeves of his shirt. He then ripped along the seams, tying the short pieces of fabric around her wrists. “You’re not going anywhere tonight,” he told her. “I don’t care what you’re thinking, but this is not how it’s going to end.”

Scooping Lithium up into his arms, James began the trek to the nearest hospital.