"All the speeches you make in your head/ All the worries that you never said/ Rotten fireworks, kept inside, waiting for a light". (Jane Added, Look at them)

NATE'S POV (first person POV)

"You are to be mated with Nate" 

Suddenly, all eyes converged toward me. I ignored them in favor of two persons. The first one was the man with whom I had been sharing my life for the last ten years. He was my best friend, my rock, my lover and my confident. He also happened to be the Alpha of the pack, which was not as great as people may think. 

Being the Alpha's mate meant a lot of our intimate moments were interrupted, as Darren had to deal with pack-related things on a daily basis, from the most trivial to the most sensitive ones. It meant fearing even more about your destined one's life, as pack leaders were twice more likely to be brutally murdered. It meant pretending to ignore that many people acted nice around you because of your position, but secretly hated you for what they believed to be your privileges.

Being with Darren was no easy job, yet I was determined to spend the rest of my life with him. I could not imagine a life without this overprotecting man by my sides. I knew he seemed intimidating to most, but to me he was a big teddy bear with unlimited resources of love to give.

"You are also to be mated with Darren"

I was still unsure how I felt about the second one. Kyle. Darren and I barely spoke about him, or about what had happened, all these years ago. I knew not talking about things didn't make them magically disappear, but I could not bring myself to address the topic.

"Where the fuck is he going?" mumbled the man standing by my sides, obviously referring to Kyle, who had left the Ceremony in a hurry. 

"Let's get out of here, too" I whispered back. "I hate being the center of attention, and from the look of it, gossips will be going on for days among the pack"

He nodded in approval, and we quickly walked back toward our tent. Kyle was nowhere to be seen, but it wasn't surprising in itself. Outside from trainings and battle fields, where he proved to be exceptionally focused and spirited, it felt like Kyle was not really part of the pack. He was a bit like a ghost.

I mean, the guy had a strong aura, and he was gorgeous, so of course you were kind of forced to acknowledge his presence. However, this presence was mostly physical. Yes, he was there, taking up space, but his eyes were always strangely distant, like he was lost deep inside himself, with no way out. 

"What do we do, now?" I eventually asked Darren, after what felt like hours of silence and was quite unusual for us.

"What do you mean?" 

I sighed and took his arm, forcing him to turn and look at me in the eyes. While he purposely kept his voice light, I knew from his tense shoulders to his obvious restlessness that he was at loss about what to do or what to think. 

It was rare to see him like this. He was mostly a composed, very capable man who had a strong hold on his emotions and didn't have any trouble making a decision. 

Except when Kyle was concerned. 

"You know very well what I mean" I retorted, determined not to let him get away with this. 

"Nate, I'm tired right now and I -"

"You're not tired, you just don't want to talk about it." I interrupted, with a "you-won't-feed-me-your-bullshits" kinda look. 

Goddess knows, I also didn't particularly want to talk about it, but I felt like we could not delay this talk forever. Not when Kyle might become part of our lives again. Maybe we didn't have to go into detail about what had happened that particular night, but eventually, we would have to breach the painful topic. 

It would help us heal, not just me but - I was getting more and more convinced of it - also Darren and Kyle. I wasn't exactly in a forgiving disposition regarding the latter, but I had a feeling there was a hidden complexity in the matter that we hadn't discover yet. 

When we had entered high school, Kyle had slowly started to distance himself from us, and I was ashamed to admit that Darren and I were partly at fault. We had noticed the changes, of course, but had been too deeply engrossed in our newly born romance to really care about it. 

We had tried to talk to him, of course, but we probably hadn't tried hard enough, or maybe it had been too late already, by the time we had decided to act upon it. 

It was difficult to know, and we could not change the past. I would never forget the fear that had gripped my entire being when Kyle had pinned me down on the bed against my will. Kyle would probably never return to his old charming, babbling self. Darren might always be a little wary of his former best friend. 

We could not change the past, but maybe understanding it would pave the way for a better future. 

Yes, I was wise like that. I should be promoted the wizard of the pack.

"You can choose to run away from this, but it will return to hit you again with full force later, Darr" I tried again, making him snort. 

"Since when are you so serious, Nate? It's unlike you."

"Asshole. I'm always serious."

"Let's agree to disagree."

He smiled, looking at me with this fond expression of his that always made my heart melt. Then his smile disappeared, to be replaced with a less endearing grim. He motioned for me to sit on his lap, and I immediately complied. Although I wasn't a Sub, and didn't do often this kind of gestures, I enjoyed it for what it was: a close proximity with the one I loved.

Plus, I knew that, although he would never admit it, right now Darren might be the one who needed this physical proximity the most. I was conflicted about what had happened tonight, but the guy was a total mess. 

I had always been the most talkative of the three. That night, I had been the victim, but I have talked about it with my mum and with Darren since then. I have even written about it in my diary. 

Darren listened to me intently, of course, but he has never really given me his thoughts on it nor has he opened up about his feelings. 

In this regard, Darren and Kyle were much more similar than they might think, or like. 

" We don't have to discuss everything tonight if you don't feel like it" I told him reassuringly. "But we do have to make a decision."

"About?"

"You know that mates usually have sex on their first night to complete the bond, right?"

"Nate..."

"It's obviously too soon for all of us, and it might never happen, but still, Kyle should be staying with us right now."

Realization finally seemed to hit my mate. He frowned, his eyes filling with concern. It was unhealthy and borderline dangerous for a newly mated person to be far away from their mate on their first night. Darren and I were together, and our bond had strengthened over the years, but it wasn't' the case for Kyle. 

"Has he not returned to the camp yet?" Darren eventually asked. 

"I don't know. I can feel him, but not that clearly, so my guess is he's somewhere in the forest. What about you?"

My mate closed his eyes, his tension increasing at my not so innocent question. If I could already feel Kyle with such accuracy, it meant our bond was strong, as strong as it had been with Darren when we discovered we were meant to be. 

Extremely strong. 

"I can also feel him", Darren mumbled. "I should be able to find him easily but maybe - maybe he doesn't want to be around us. I wouldn't blame it for that - I'm not sure I want him around, either."

"We should at least offer him to stay. It would be a way to let him know we don't hate him."

Darren glared at me but didn't deny it. There was no use, I knew him too well. We barely ever talked to Kyle, but it didn't prevent us to discreetly check on him, and our gazes wandered over the skilled and lonely warrior more often that we felt comfortable with. 

The guy was completely oblivious to our interest, something neither I nor Darren admitted to the other. 

I had thought, a few years ago, that Kyle might be our mate, but then concluded it could not be possible. There were two reasons for it.

Firstly, it was extremely rare for someone to have two mates. 

Secondly, we should have discovered that Kyle was our mate a long time ago.

"He's twenty-three already" declared Darren, hearing the thought I had been unconsciously projecting through our mate-link. "It is weird indeed. I wonder if the One Eye might have an explanation."

"We'll investigate it later." I declared. "For now, find Kyle and bring him to the tent." 

"Why me?" he protested like the child he was.

"He's more likely to listen to you. You're the Alpha, and also his ma-"

"I'll go."

Darren gave me a quick kiss on the forehead, and swiftly left the tent. It was rare for him to listen to me and do what I told him - he was an Alpha, after all- but tonight, I could tell he needed some directions. 

I didn't mind providing him some sort of guidance. It prevented me for looking to closely into my confusing thoughts. It was such a mess the three of us were in. Not only I didn't have a clue about how it would unfold, I wasn't even sure what I wanted myself. 

So much for be the self-appointed wizard of the pack.

A/N: Soooo, this is a fresh new chapter and it took me FOREVER to write. Thank you to the people who suggested writing from Nate/Darren POV, I think it's a really good idea, give an insight of what my men really think. There will only be a couple of chapters from their perspective, though. 

Two updates in a row, because I will be leaving my city for a couple of days, so you'll have to wait until next week for chapter 5. 

Hugs xx