55 │hesitation

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Kris walks alongside Jesse as the two make their way down the long corridor toward the recording studio. She flips through her lyric journal, a book she was once too nervous to even show it to another face, as she smiles eagerly at him. She lands on a page and her finger points at a jumble of words written in sloppy cursive.

"And so I scrapped that verse and decided just to cut to the bridge." She glances up from the book as they reach the door to the control room, Jesse unlocking it with a small set of keys. "I think just that one change improved it a lot, but it'd still be cool if you could read it and tell me what ya think."

He holds the door open for her and she slips under his arm to enter the room. He follows her inside, letting the door shut behind them. "Why read it when you can sing it for me?"

"True." She looks over at the studio through the glass window, for her a sight that never gets old. "So what's the occasion? Do we need to rerecord some of the songs on the EP? Cause I kinda forgot my guitar."

Tossing his keys on the nearby desk, he turns around to face her as he leans against the mixing console. "Maybe I brought you here to make out again."

"Maybe you don't know the definition of slow." She smirks, referring to their conversation from the other night.

"Okay, tapping the brakes." He lets out a mellow sigh and shrugs his arms. "Figured it was worth a shot."

"Not the craziest idea you've ever had though." She smiles, leaning against the wall across from him.

He smiles back, biting his bottom lip. He shakes his head in an attempt to ignore the hormones. "So I brought you here to tell you some good news. I've pretty much been spamming one of your singles out to producers and it looks like we got a bite. This morning I got an e-mail from Vinyl Confessions, a record label in North Carolina, and they're interested in your music."

Attentively, she pulls herself from the wall to stand up straight. "Wow, that was fast. Really fast."

"When producers see an opportunity, they don't hesitate." He gazes at her, the following words seeming forced. "And neither should you."

"What do you mean?"

Still leaning against the table, Jesse runs his fingers nervously along the edge of the console. "I sent them a few more songs and they'd really like to talk to you."

She smiles excitedly. "Oh, that's great!"

"In person." He finishes. "They would like you to fly out to visit the label. That way they can meet you and give you a chance to see their studio."

"Oh." Disappointment quickly settles into her voice. "When?"

"As soon as possible."

She shakes her head. "You know I can't do that."

Jesse steps forward, already expecting that it would be a difficult task to convince her. "Look around you. Look at how far you've come. Kris, this could be the fresh start you've been looking for."

"No, I can't just up and leave." She crosses her arms, taking another quick glance at the studio across from them. "What about my family? My friends?"

Scratching anxiously at the back of his head, it's clear that this is a sensitive subject for him as well. "You can always come back."

"After what? Producing an album?" Her eyebrows rise as she remembers something he once said when he was explaining to her the many ups-and-downs about the music industry. "You told me that was a long, demanding process!"

"I know." He sighs, his own words being used against him. "And I'm sure they'd want you to go on tour to promote it."

"How long does that take?"

"It could take months to maybe a year or two."

"A year or two?!" Taking a deep breath, she rubs at her forehead. "Why can't you just produce the album for me? I mean, for crying out loud we did an EP in one night!"

"We did, but I'm far from a professional at this. I mean, I hardly have the essentials to produce a song. Over there they have more and better equipment, resources, higher marketing budgets." Grabbing her hand, he peers into her eyes intensely. "Tell me, what's really holding you back?"

She stares at him, looking at the answer to his question directly in the eyes, but can't find it in her to say it out loud.

As if able to read her mind, he nods as he pulls himself back. "Just think about it. Please. This could be huge for you and opportunities like this in the music business are rare. I mean nothing's set in stone but I'm pretty sure if you go over there, they'll give you an offer."

"It sounds like you want me to leave." Although her voice has mellowed, he can tell that she is beyond upset. It's as if he had offered her the dream she's been chasing her entire life, just to dangle it tauntingly above her hands. Barely out of reach.

"You're better than this town, Kris." He stares at her, his eyes watering as he already regrets the words that are about to escape from his mouth. He really wants to hold it back but can't find it in him to be that selfish. "After what happened to your brother and now with all of these murders... No, I don't want you to leave but, don't you see, it's really in your best interest if you do. And this—this is your ticket out."

She doesn't say anything.

"Look, just think about it." He sighs, trying not to push her too much. Although it's a little too late for that. "I'll forward you the e-mails. If you are interested, give them a call and see what they have to offer."

"Thank you." Smiling, she feels her nerves calm as she realizes that his intentions are purely to look out for her. "I know you just want what's best for me and I love you for that."

Jesse's eyebrows perk up, started by the words—or word really—that just came out of her mouth.

Her cheeks quickly turn pink as she thinks about what she just said. "I mean, love you like a friend of course."

"Yeah." Knowing better, he can't help but smile.

Kris tries to hide her smile as she stares back at him nervously. "Yeah..."

Although she loves and has loved many people, she's never really found herself in love with anyone. Would she even recognize the feeling? She stares at him, feeling her heart racing as she thinks of something to say. Something to not only change the topic, but to distract her thoughts as well. However, looking into his eyes as he stares back at her, nothing comes to mind. Nothing but that one, damn word again.


♫ ʜᴇsɪᴛᴀᴛᴇ / sᴛᴇᴠᴇ ᴍᴏᴀᴋʟᴇʀ ♫

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