77 │not ready for goodbye

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The coffee cup trembles in between the girl's palms. Although she had spent a good ten minutes in the bathroom scrubbing vigorously to get every ounce of blood off of her hands, she can still see the faintest red outline tracing around her cuticles and underneath her fingernails. Steam rises from the small opening on the plastic lid, the cup still as full as it was when the doctor had first given it to her. Her blonde hair is pulled back into a ponytail, her bangs messy to the point to where they nearly cover her eyes. She continues to stare forward at the cup in her hands, feeling as the heat slowly fades away from its foam surface—much like the life slipping from someone's body. And all she can hear is a piercing, continual noise.

Beep... Beep... Beep...

"Ms. Chambers?"

Casey blinks, coming back from her brief daze. She looks up to see Dr. Adrian Navarro still standing there, a handsome man not much older than her. He has dark brown, medium length hair combed back behind his ears which compliments his almond eyes well. Light freckles scatter across his perfectly tanned cheeks up to the tip of the Filipino's nose. He doesn't smile, nor frown for that matter. He, too, wears the same expressionless look as her.

"Sorry." Realizing how hoarse her voice sounds, she takes a moment to clear her throat. "What did you say?"

"I was asking if you had a chance to contact anyone." He continues on with a conversation he apparently must have been having with himself earlier. "Friends, family?"

"My parents are here. Last time I saw them, or heard them really, they were in the hallway arguing about something stupid. Perfect timing, huh?" She rolls her eyes, not even intending to spend another second acknowledging how ridiculous her parents are acting. "And my sister is probably with them playing the referee."

"Sorry, I meant the family of..." He stops himself.

"Oh. He didn't talk to his parents much. His mom was a drug addict who left when he was a kid and he emancipated from his abusive ass-of-a-father the day he turned 17." She stares back down at the cup, the right corner of her lips slightly rising as her mind wanders to a happier place. "When he told me all of this, I couldn't even picture how it must have been like to have no parents—no real parents anyways—in your life. But he just smiled and reassured me that all of the struggles we face and overcome, they just make us stronger."

Casey looks up at him, feeling her eyes begin to water. "That's what made him who he really is, you know? That's what made him Riley."

"He's a strong man." Adrian nods, placing his hand on the thin metal rail lining the foot of the hospital bed. "And he's lucky to have you here by his side. He's going to need all the help he can get if he wakes up."

The two of them both turn to face the bed. Tucked tightly under the sheets, a pale Riley lies flat on his back facing up at the tiles on the ceiling. His eyes are closed, arms and legs extended stiffly, and his neck is wrapped in several layers of gauze and bandages. His mouth is slightly open, just wide enough to allow a rather thin silicone tube to fit in between his lips. A clear strip of tape holds it to his mouth, the tube leading down his throat past his vocal cords and into his windpipe. The other end connects to a ventilator set up just underneath the heart rate monitor.

"When he wakes up." She corrects him.

Adrian looks at her, but already knows that he had explained enough earlier on when they had finished up with Riley's surgery and moved him down to a room in the Intensive Care Unit.

At this point, she can feel that the coffee is hardly lukewarm through the foam cup. In no time, it will be ice cold. "How could this happen?"

"Due to all the blood loss, during the surgery he slipped into cardiac arrest—"

"That's not what I mean." She looks up at him. "We're just kids. How could this happen?"

The hospital staff nearly had to call security to get her out of the room as they prepped Riley for surgery. She remembers, afterwards, how Adrian approached her with his apparently naturally grim face and she thought he was going to deliver bad news. Which he ultimately did, although it wasn't as bad as she had feared. He explained to her, in great detail, about how the majority of patients who are resuscitated from cardiac arrest don't regain consciousness immediately, and may remain in a coma for hours or even weeks.

Or sometimes... permanently.

"I wish I knew the answer to that. Why, how, people can be so cruel." He takes a deep breath, peering back at Riley as his hands slip into the large pockets on the front of his white coat. "It takes a different kind of doctor to understand minds like that."

Casey looks up at him, giving him a slight smirk to show her appreciation for him coming to check up on her. He's very direct and, since the moment she had stepped into the Emergency Room, he was the only one who didn't drown her with false hope. He's not rude—but honest. With all of the apparent lies spreading around her like a wildfire, it's a rare and refreshing trait to encounter.

"Is there anything else I can get you?" His eyes gaze down to the brimming cup in her hands. "The kitchen is closed, but I can fetch you something from the vending machine if you'd like."

Appreciating the kind gestures, she smiles at him. Although she hasn't eaten a thing all night, she has no appetite whatsoever. "No thank you."

"Just hang in there, I—"

Sudden commotion can be heard echoing down the corridor, the sound of several tennis shoes shuffling across the tiled floor bouncing off of the walls. He sees two nurses quickly pass by, one of them practically bolting past the door.

Another nurse stops at the doorway and leans against the frame, catching her breath as she looks over at him. Her eyes are beyond distressed. "Dr. Navarro, we have an emergency!"

Already sensing that something is wrong before she had even spoken a word, which in this place is unfortunately a common feeling, he approaches the door. "What is it?"

The nurse's voice lowers to a faint whisper but, judging by her frantic gestures and worried expression, Casey can tell that whatever she is telling him is not good.

Adrian nods at the nurse, patting her shoulder before she dismisses herself to follow the others down the hallway. He turns around to see Casey looking his way and he points to a small button built in to the left side on the rail of the bed. "If you need anything at all, just press this button. I'll be back to check on you, alright?"

She nods, able to sense the tension building behind his widening dark brown eyes. The doctor quickly turns around and, as he shuts the door behind him, she can hear a woman's high-pitched screams echoing from further down the hall.

Casey sets the cup of coffee down on the table, next to the small black box she has still yet to open. She stares at the leather box, noticing the dried splotches of blood staining its lid, as she her hands reach out to grab Riley's.

His palm is cold. As she lightly squeezes his hand, she half expects him to open his eyes and turn to face her. His usual, silly smile spreading across his face as he tries to speak with the tube still inserted into his throat. Instead, his fingers slightly curl as his hand lies limp in hers. With her right thumb, she rubs his knuckles in a soft circular motion as she turns to look at him helplessly.

"Damnit Riley, you can't leave me like this." She thinks about something he had once told her and glances down at the necklace hanging just below the collar of her shirt. As she peers up at him on the verge of crying, again, her grip tightens around his palm. "We are infinite."

The only response she gets is that same steady rhythm coming from the monitor next to her. It matches the rise and fall of her own heart pounding against her chest.

Beep... Beep... Beep...


♫ ɢᴏᴏᴅʙʏᴇ / sᴇᴄᴏɴᴅʜᴀɴᴅ sᴇʀᴇɴᴀᴅᴇ ♫

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