The hand of the clock struck twelve and with it, the lunch bell halted all activity in class. Students started talking and leaving class but I remained seated. I know I have decided to apologize to Leah but I had no idea how. I knew deep down she was going to ask for the truth and that wasn't something I could share, not now anyway. 

Leah and her mom didn't get along but that doesn't mean she will believe me. So I simply couldn't tell her the truth even if I wanted to. Biotech didn't know about me so I wanted to keep it that way. If I tell Leah there's a good chance she could confront her mother. Biotech has gone as far as covering up a murder and whatever the hell they did to Dr. Benette, who knows what they would do to me if they were to know. 

I got up as the last student filed through the door. Sitting there was only going to give me attention that I didn't want. 

I made my way to the cafeteria that was swarming with students. The first thing that made me want to turn around was the noise. Last few weeks I had spent either with Noah at the bleachers or in the library. 

The girls sat at the regular table in the middle of the lunchroom so I would have to walk through the masses to reach them. I used to be accustomed to the attention, for some reason among my group of friends, I was the odd one out.   

As I got closer, I saw that only Mia and Shawna were at the table, I felt my heart drop as the disappointment set in but I also felt relieved.  

Shawna's eyes found mine and she frowned. Mia was still blabbing on about something, unaware that Shawna had stopped listening. That's when I saw Leah walk up from the lunch line. Her body went rigid the moment her eyes landed on me. 

I swallowed hard and took the last few steps towards their table,  a hush had fallen over the cafeteria and it seemed like everyone was holding their breath. Shawna's frown had turned into a death glare by the time I reached them, Mia kept shooting nervous glances between the three of us and Leah avoided my gaze altogether. 

I cleared my throat, "Can I talk to you, Leah?"

Shawna stood up and placed her fists on the table, "No, you can't, now leave."

Eyes burned into my back making my skin crawl. I fought the urge to turn around and hiss at them and kept my eyes focused on Shawna. I kept reminding myself that ripping her to pieces would not help my cause. Anger bubbled up in my chest but I kept my face calm.

"I'm sure Leah can speak for herself," I said narrowing my eyes. 

Shawna bared her teeth, her eyes flashing with anger. 

Yeah, bring it on Barbie, I thought to myself.

Shawna huffed, "Like she even wants to talk to you! You have some nerve coming here after what you did!"

With her voice raised, all attention turned to us. The kids who weren't listening before, now had their ears perked on the drama unfolding. The rumor mill will be running double-time this week but I could care less. Right then the only thing that mattered to me was apologizing to my best friend and I wasn't about to let the preppy princess Shawna bulldoze me out of it. 

"I've had just about enough of you telling me what to do. This is between me and Leah. So for once in your pitiful life try to keep out of the drama that does not concern you," I said. 

I heard multiple students gasp and Shawna's eyes widened. She looked ready to attack me. My body pulsed as I waited for it, ready to strike and although I knew this was wrong, I couldn't help it. The creature inside me wanted to show this girl who she was messing with. 

Just before Shawna could react,  Leah got up from her seat, "That's enough, both of you!" Leah looked in my direction, "You want to talk? Fine, but not here."      

She looked away from me, her jaw set. Without a word, Leah walked away. I gave Shawna a spiteful smirk before I followed Leah. It was childish but I didn't care. Shawna had rammed herself square in the drama between me and Leah, wasn't my fault that she got stung.  

Leah's pace was almost frantic as she walked through the cafeteria, eyes followed us until we walked through doors to a small courtyard outside, it was empty with most of the students avoiding the cold air of the approaching winter. When she swung around to face me her face was bright red and her eyes shone with un-shed tears but she was also angry, very angry. 

"Did you have to go and make a scene? For weeks I've been trying to get you to talk to me and on a whim, you decide now is the time and I just have to listen?" 

I suddenly felt very bad for my argument with Shawna but she did start it. I wasn't about to stand there and let her humiliate me because she felt like it. 

"I'm sorry about," I waved my hand to the cafeteria doors, "that, I didn't mean for it to get out of hand."

Leah frantically rubbed the tears from her eyes,  "You wanted to talk, now talk."

I didn't know where to begin, in my head, this whole scenario went by much smoother than reality. She had her arms crossed over her chest and although her face had tear streaks running down her cheeks, her eyes held a defiant glint and I knew this wasn't going to be as easy as I thought. 

Well, it was now or never, those who don't try, don't win.

I took a deep breath, "I'm sorry, Leah, I have been a horrible friend to you and I get that you won't just forgive me, but I need you to know that I really am sorry."

Leah laughed and shook her head, "That's it? You're sorry?" she held up one hand, "You know what, Shawna was right." 

She turned around to walk away and I grabbed her hand. My pulse was beating in my ears.

"Please, Leah just hear me out?" 

Leah swung around and pulled her hand from my grip. I was taken back to the day she demanded answers from me when the roles were reversed, I realized the severity of what I had done to her. It stung and I felt deeply ashamed.  

"Fine. You want to talk, tell me why you ignored me for weeks, humiliated me on more than one occasion in front of the whole school, treated me like crap for weeks and acted like you were just throwing me away and I want the truth. You owe me that much." 

I cringed as she listed the things I had done without any thought. At the time, I thought I was protecting her, I thought I was doing the right thing but instead, I made my best friend feel like I had thrown her away.

"Leah..."

Leah shook her head, "Yeah, I thought so."

Leah turned again and I screamed, "Wait! I'll tell you."

I shook as I contemplated how I would go about telling her. As I was about to start telling her everything the words got stuck in my throat.

Leah waited patiently for me to start talking but I felt frozen. I couldn't tell her about her mom and Biotech.

So I picked the next best thing.

"My mom and dad have been fighting a lot. About me and Lee, he wanted us to stay with him. Lee eventually left to go live with my dad. After a while, I got it out of my mom that I was the reason Lee had to go live with my dad."

"What about the first week after the summer? You were sick."

And here comes the lying part.

"I burned myself out with practice and I got sick. So sick that I couldn't try out for track and I never made it on the team."

"Why did you feel like you couldn't tell me?"

I sighed, "I was embarrassed, okay? You always tell me not to burn myself out and I did."

"And what about Noah?"

"I started failing my classes and you and I were in a bad space so I couldn't ask for help. Noah was helping pick up my grade."

"Syd, I don't know what to say."

"Look, Leah, everything I worked so hard for amounted to nothing. I can't get the scholarship, Lee left because of me so I was having a hard time. I shouldn't have taken it out on you and I shouldn't have pushed you away but, I did and I'm sorry. There is nothing more I can say and I know you won't just forgive me but I need you to know that."

Leah sighed, "I don't know what to say. I mean, I'm happy you told me what's going on but, I just need some time, okay?"

I nodded my head, understanding, I was the one who pushed her away. I really was sorry but I would wait for Leah to forgive me and give her the space she asked for.

I felt better, what I told Leah wasn't all lies. Some of what I said was really bothering me and it felt good telling her what was on my mind. Minus the whole 'Your mom turned me into a zombie' bit.

Leah turned and went back into the cafeteria and I walked to the bleachers to find Noah.

He was already waiting for me, his brown hair was in a mess like he had run his hands through it a hundred times. It made him look kind of cute.

Wait, what?

He munched on some french fries and looked up when I sat down with a heavy sigh.

"So, where did you disappear to?" Noah asked. 

"I had to talk with Leah." 

Noah choked on his fries and looked at me like I was crazy, "You didn't tell her about...?"

I shook my head, "No, I didn't tell her about that. I picked one of the other shit storms in my life right now."

"Does it look like Leah knows anything about Biotech?"

"I don't think Leah knows about everything her mom does, maybe Mrs. Freeman doesn't know either."

"I find that hard to believe, Syd. This is the closest we've ever been to Biotech"

"I know, but I really don't think Leah knows anything."

It still didn't make sense to me that Leah knew, if her mom was the one behind all of it there is no way she would tell her teenage daughter anything. Leah seemed way too angry with me and I knew it wasn't just pretense.

"Yeah, but she is still our only way in," Noah concluded.

He was right, our only way in was my best friend and I wasn't her favorite person at the moment.

  Guess it's my turn to grovel, I thought.

After school, Noah and I drove to the library, I had to do some research for my physics project and he had to find more information on Biotech. We plopped down by the only working computer in the library which took forever to boot up. I continued working on my project with Noah next to me in silence.

Noah jumped up, "Holly crap!"

I looked up at him startled by his sudden outburst, "What?"

Noah ran his fingers through his hair, "Peter Benette wants to meet."

I sucked in a sharp breath, my eyes going wide. Was I ready to meet the man who's sister I had a hand in killing? The short answer would be, no. Instead, a few colorful curse words flew around in my head and I'm sure some of them were entirely made up.

"When?" I asked, it seemed I was only capable of single word replies at this point.

"He wants us to give him a time," Noah said not moving his eyes from the computer screen.

We were finally close to some real answers but I was terrified of meeting Peter. Would he know what I had done by just looking at me? I sure hoped not, there was no easy way to handle this whole situation but we needed him. We couldn't tell him about his sister, at least not yet. 

I sighed, "There is no way my mom would let me go out during the week and I still have assignments to finish."

"Then we'll make it for Friday at Wendy's dinner?"

I nodded my head and Noah typed out the email and hit send. I was finally going to meet the brother of the woman I had killed. Noah dropped me off at home later that afternoon and I couldn't stop thinking about Friday. What were we supposed to tell him?

How do you even break that sort of news to someone? I knew that no matter what happened this week I wouldn't be able to stop thinking about Peter. Although I didn't know him, no one deserves to go through that. It nearly killed me that I wouldn't be able to tell him his sister is dead.

And the worst thing of all, I was the one responsible.

The lies I spun kept piling up and I knew it was only a matter of time before they start biting me in my ass.