It hurts my soul to see thou so Distraught and heartbroken, lacking
Hope turning into fragile mud pottery.
Letting the clouds blind your vision
With rain; having no aim, no arrows,
No faith in yourself or time.
Letting the dark waters cage your
Mind, you its captive giving up in
Good and allowing the candle of hope
Turn to candle of poison, allowing it
To burn you with every tick on the
Clock.

I see you everyday at war with
Yourself.
Each moment a torment, each cry
Muffled and trapped in webs.
I watch you look for shelter
Wandering from place to place with
Nothing in return to give except dusty
Affection.
I watch you seek solace, finding
Nothing except bitter potions & kicks
In return and so you turn to me with
Light in your eyes, your hunger for
Solace ever growing.
You say : people who go through
Similar pain, find comfort in each
Other.
And so you're here though you are
Away, every moment, asking me for
Comfort - wanting to hear that
Warmth and affection not realising
That solace comes from within.
Find solace in your body before
Wandering off to finding it in other
People.

I can see you going forward with war
Within your mind, cataracts in your
Eyes, burns on your hands with
Nothing except seek in hand :
Staggering in this thunderstorm,
Going door to door in search of a
Home to make your stay for a day.

I do not know how to lend a hand
Though I can sell an ear to you.
I don't want anything in return,
Just want to be there for someone
Because I know how it feels to be
Drenched in that rain, crying your
Heart out in darkness with nothing
In sight other than vultures wanting To prey on your soul.

I would hold you, even if it means
That I'll have to step in that cold water
Again.
I'd lend a hand, hold on to you like
Rose holding onto Jack, if it'd provide
You comfort.
I shall not allow myself to go back to
That mirror of inferno instead, I'll
Walk you through it.

Comfort is not my strongest virtue,
I have learned many things yet that,
I do not possess it.
Its not in me to provide comfort in
Times of rain because I've drowned
In water and had no one seek me out.
Not a boat came forward, no one.
I learned to survive through that
Coldness & darkness on my own.
No arms; no towels wrapped
Themselves around me and so I fell
Sick and learned to get better on my
Own.
I know how to make a boat sail in
Times of storm — I do not know how
To repair it.
And perhaps, I'll never learn.

When your soul mourns like roses,
Turns emotions into rust, I hear you.
Like shadows, I lurk in the
Background watching everything.
I want to do something - give you
Warmth though I do not know how.
I blend in the ground; see everything
In grey.
Call for me and I shall come.
Though solace, I do not have that.
I cannot be your lighthouse,
You'll have to learn to guard yourself
Before you go looking for it in the
Sea.

Written on observation after long.
One of my most intimate works in recent times.

-Ridhima Joshi