Everyday going there
Was a challenge.
A fear that I must
Overcome.

Each day, I would try &
Each week I would fail.
I felt like giving up,
But then I would remind
Myself that I'm a warrior.
I was fighting
Not for the country,
But for myself.

Everyday, I would leave my room
Anxious, scared, praying
To god that no one picks on me .
I would try to distract myself
By imaging fantasy,
But then reality would hit me
And it would be over.

I wouldn't utter a word,
Just blend in the surroundings
Like a nobody.

Glances ; reputation
It was scary .

Each time,I'd fail,
I'd go into a deep agony.
An agony that seemed never ending;
An agony I couldn't escape.

I'd try thinking
But my mind won't work,
My brain would feel claustrophobic.
I couldn't breathe,
I'd try to fight,
But everything would
Fall down.
I would fall onto the ground
Defeated.
Trapped
Unsure if I would ever be able to
Escape this pain, this battlefield
Ever or not?
One more year then its over,
Then it will be over
But will it really be?
It seems unending.

This poem is a reflection of the trauma that my school give me. A buildup of ptsd, the light before the dark took over.

Update: I'm better now & prospering.

-Ridhima Joshi