21, brown eyes, tousled hair 
5'10 frame, dimpled smile,
Portrayed yourself as sunshine after a storm 
A treasure hiding a snake 
Villain underneath veils of holiness 
Villain pretending to be an Angel; 
Tainted all flags white when in truth 
Red flags were redder than Sindoor 
And I fell for it; 
Oh what a time it was June 2022

This time last year 
He fed me a lie I swallowed up whole 
As though it's candy - 
A sweet in the bitter grief except 
It choked me, my smile and happiness 
Like it's poison.
A lie, lie, lie,
Turned on the torch, lit the ground on fire
Leaving me behind to burn; 
Long gone to never return….Thank God 
Scathed wounds still sting when 
Remainder pops up - 
The cons of having a PTSD brain; 
Remembered it all over again, memories washed up 
As I flicked through pages of my therapy book,
The blotched ink on paper leaving tears in its trail, 
Unlocked those remnants in my head again, 
Refreshing my mind once more, 
Reminding me of the Villain I freed myself from;
The one that burnt me in its departure, 
Throwing flowers of my affection in trash,
Cutting me off as if I'm invalid, 
As if I don't belong,
Invalidating my presence, 
Denying my existence as if I ever never existed at all. 

Lie, lie, he lied.
He didn't love me, it was lust.
He lied and all those sentences were fake; 
Merely spider Web meant to trap and 
In that moment last year in my misery, I fell,
Because I was so needy of happiness,
So needy of love and affection that I didn't see 
Through the superficiality until it uncovered itself 
Stating the obvious. 

- ©️Ridhima Joshi