"Dreams turn into nightmares,
When the fate starves our desires."

♤

She accepted. Her heart felt bursting but still she accepted. Maybe she her heart was faking it all. But, to fake everything she should have to feel something. And all she could feel was emptiness, emptiness crawcrawling down her spine setting, making home deep into it.

Bare fear danced on the tips of her as she curled the knob tightly. Her breath growing uneven and deeper. Something stirred, perhaps she still could feel something.

Exhaling a shaky breath, she waited for anything to charge at her. But all she was met with, cold air. Edgy, sharp and most of all empty. Piercing through her nostrils. She felt the goosebumps rising of over her arms.

Treading inside, she felt stuck. Feeling of always been on edge grew stronger. She could feel it in her stomach, churning. All the fruits she ate threatened to come out.

Walls began to speak. From the glimmer of a light she could see the faint linen of shadows dancing on the ceiling. It all appeared blurred and shaky and she began to walk to every corner of the house. It wasn't a home to her anymore. Stepping on the stairs, she felt herself going light as feather. Everything around her said something or the other. But she couldn't made it out what was murmured behind her back.

Climbing the stairs, the faint murmurs grew louder in her head but there was something calling her to the first floor.

The show pieces hanging on walls glared at her. And those vases yelled at her. Narrowing her eyes, she walked ahead. Feeling her fingers twitch with cautiousness.

Her head buzzed as she gazed down at the spiral staircase of her house. It went more spiralling down to the ground floor. It was never that long. Drawing her brows in confusion she felt her impatient feet going near to his brother's room. The door creaked open and the sliver of a faint black shadow jumped out of her brother's room's window.

She wasn't dreaming. There was a shadow. Seeing it jump out of the window she ran near it and almost jumped out behind the shadow. There was nothing. Confusion marred on her face seeing the ground abandoned from any soul or body stepping.

The strange feeling clawed out from her spine, rising to her heart. Making her heart thump widely. Just few moments ago she was confused from the environment around her and now a fear of shiver ran down her spine. It almost made her turn back and ran to Baraq.

Lost in her reverie of fear, she caught a glimpse of shining surface of a veil from her peripheral vision. She froze on her feet and stopped how to breath. A veil in her brother's room. A spark of flashback hit her hard and she ceased her overthinking thoughts. The date slip was also found in his brother's.

Her stomach churned and she begged her mind to stop making scenarios that can't happen.

"Finally." A hard feminine glimmer of whisper rang in her ear. It felt so close to her, as if someone was really standing behind her. Wide eyes stared hard at the sky.

Something strange appeared in the sky. The form of cloud, it reminded her if something, something so familiar. It beat in her chest. The hunter eyes shaped cloud float away leaving her alone with the familiar thoughts.

The sudden flash of gold reminded her the dessert, the sun, the sunflower, the gold, the fire and him. Baraq.

A tightening feeling took over her chest and she inhaled deeply.
Rubbing her chest, she ignored everything. Everything around her, even the hanging veil from her brother's cupboard.

Shaking her head in denial. She walked out of the room trying to chase away the knocking thoughts in her mind.

Climbing down the stairs, she went to the store room. Jerking away the abaya from her body, she started cleaning the house. Swiping every floor and room. Acceptance was hard. Keeping everything in was hard. But, what choice she have to choose? Cold precipitation slide down from her head to neck. After swiping she went to mop. Rubbing the floor hard until her hands pained. She cleaned every floor and room.

Sighing she collected every cloth and washed them. Cleaning the bathroom was the last thing on the list. Having it cleaned and all neat, she sighed somewhat contented. She was a girl, a married girl. Marriage. A strange thorn pricked into her heart. Ignoring it, she went to her room and washed herself thoroughly. Rubbing the olive shampoo in her scalp, cleaning away the foam.

Drying away the water droplets from her body she wore her favourite cotton floral gown. And combed her hairs, neatly.

Picking up the dirty clothes, she was reminded of her marriage. That silk beige under gown and and red long blouse reminded her of the marriage. It pained in her chest.

Sighing, she washed it too and went to the roof. Polling the clothes over the drying stand. She stood there fir a while. It felt good to not think about anything going on. But, till how far she can avoid those thoughts. She didn't had any silent battle. But, she still was worn out, perhaps the events of acceptance could do that to you.

Feeling grief always felt heavy and avoiding it felt like seating on the edge.

She could no longer feel herself in her own body. Her soul demanded to escape. But, what is an escape? She only wished to know. Escape, it is rich and expensive that is cost life for one to escape. Perhaps it was the rule of the world, for to get a thing you have to lose something too.

The shrill voice of ringing her phone brought her back from her thoughts and she ran back to the living room. Her hairs flying with her every step.

She was all huff and puff when she reached her room. Her own heavy breath if her's reminded her of something. Something precious. Something so precious, that tears escaped from her eye, wanting to be wiped away. But, who will tell the innocent tears that there was no warm hand to wipe them away. Not anymore.

Flashback

Huffed and puffed breaths of her rang around her as she sauntered to her father. Newspaper and his phone tight in his grip.

His smiling eyes held her lazy walking from to him, hidden from a veil.

"I can't believe it, you are so young and gasping like an old man." Shaking his head in denial he tched continuing.

"You need to do exercises. We will go for a walk. Or this way you will become old before your marriage."

She chuckled at her father but soon coughed over it seeing his neutral gaze.

"You are just impossible." He murmured under his breath as she passed him the newspaper and his phone.

Silence covered them both, which was chased away from their ringing laughter in air. Unaware of the evil eyes lurking around them.

End of the flashback

If she could have known back than about the sudden disappearance of her family. She could have pictured every second of their life. But that's what life is, we never know what happens next.

Warm tears cascading down her eyes wished to be wiped away. She cried. Her fingers shaking from the heavy sobs.

The desire of her fate to be happy was starved. Starved in a way she couldn't found happiness in anything. Not even in the memories. It left her smiling for a while than she have to cry over it. Because it was all past. It was curse, for something she wished for forever, she wasn't even blessed with it for a while, perhaps it was a curse to dreams. Or dreams are always cursed.

TBC.........