Part – 13

(3 days later)

Today, Gautham got discharged from the hospital, finally back home, back to his room. Sanjana helps him to lie down on the bed.

"Gautham, are you comfortable? Can I adjust your pillow?" Sanjana asks him seeing his uneasiness.

"No. It's fine"

"You want something?" She asks.

"No"

"Gautham, you don't have headache right?"

"No"

"Is the AC cool okay?"

"Yes"

"Gaut..." Gautham cuts her off placing his finger on her lips. "Stop. Stop this, please"

"What?"

"Stop worrying for me & just tell me what's bothering you?"

"Nothing. I'm okay" She whispers looking away.

"I know you are not. Look at me" he turns her to face him. "What's wrong, baby?" He asks in a pleading tone.

"I'm absolutely fine Gautham" she assures him but he knows her too well that she is not fine but he didn't force her.

"Sleep"

"I have works to do" Sanjana says him.

"I said sleep" he orders her. His voice compelling so she obliges. She lies down on the bed. He pulls her in his arms and she rests her cheek on his chest listening to his steady heart beats.

"I missed being in your arms" she whispers, drawing patterns on his chest with her finger.

"Me too. Now, sleep. You need that too" he plants a kiss on her forehead & soon they went to sleep.

Gautham stirs & stretches out his hand to his side to feel emptiness. He groans inwardly & opens his eyes scanning the room.

"Sanjana" he calls. Within a moment, Sanjana emerges to the bed room from the balcony wiping her tears.

"What were you doing in the balcony?" Gautham asks.

"Just standing there to get some fresh air." she shrugs & stretches beside him.

"Have you been crying?" Gautham asks studying her face.

"Um...No" she lies.

"When you started lying to me?" he asks angrily.

"No. I'm not." she says again to reassure him but she knows he can read her mind & face well that's the reason why he is not getting fooled by her fake smiles & fake assurance.

"Well, I'm just scared... I almost lost you... if anything had happened to you... that thought makes me nauseous... my life revolves around you Gautham, You are my dawn & you are my dusk... without you only darkness will be there in my life. I love you so much that it hurts, Gautham" she cries hugging him.

"Oh baby" he hugs her back. "I'm here... I'm here... don't worry, darling, please" he begs her.

"I love you too. I can't see you like this. Please forget everything, will you?" he asks pleadingly. She nods. He wipes her tears & kisses her forehead lovingly.

--0--

"Sanjana, I' m full" he says to her to stop feeding him but she distractedly takes another spoon full of food to his mouth. He holds her hand to stop feeding & shakes her shoulder to bring her back to earth.

"Haan..." she asks.

"I said enough. I full"

"Just two more spoon"

He shakes his head in negation & she places the bowl aside not wanting to force him.

"Okay, I'll get your medicines"

"Sanjana, I'm starting my work from tomorrow onwards" Gautham says holding her hands.

"No. That's so soon. You have been home only for a week now & you are not fully well"

"Sanjana..."

"No Gautham... End of discussion"

"Okay, I'll listen to you but you should show the same courtesy to me and listen to me" He says & pulls her on his lap.

"Tell me what the hell happened to you? You are not the Sanjana I know? You are so gloomy... it's just not that you are depressed over my accident, it's something else which you are hiding to tell me"

"Nothi..."

"Don't say 'nothing... i'm fine' words to me. I won't take your lies anymore. You are worrying me... I know you are not happy... please unburden your pain to me" he says cupping her face. Tears sting her eyes. "I'm happy Gautham. I am really happy because you are with me now" she says & quickly slips off his lap out of his hold & runs straight to the bathroom. He closes his eyes in frustration & in pain seeing her in pain. He really has no idea what's cooking in her head. He even tried asking both their parents but they assured Sanjana was fine. But his heart knows she's anything but fine. He needs to know the truth behind her sorrowful eyes. He walks towards the bathroom & knocks it.

"Sanjana, open the damn door" he orders.

"You go sleep Gautham, I'll come out shortly" she says hiding her sob.

"You are crying" he says. "Let me in, if you love me" he uses his final weapon. She opens the door but didn't come out of it so Gautham walks in.

"I can't bear to see you crying so please stop crying, Sanjana" he pleads.

"I'm sorry Gautham, really sorry" She cries hugging him. He has no idea for what she's apologizing for. He didn't interrupt her but waited for her to tell.

"I was pregnant" she finally blurts out.

"Was?" he asks & finally realization dawns. "Oh God!" he groans in pain & hugs her tightly. A lone tear rolls down from his eyes which aches Sanjana's heart more. She quickly wipes it away.

"I called you that day to tell you about our baby but then all this happened & now it's gone. I lost our baby." she breaks down & sinks down on the floor holding his hands. "It's my mistake. I should have been careful but I was so worried for you. All the stress & anxiety took a toll on me & I had a miscarriage on the same night of your accident. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me" she begs him.

"Oh darling, you were worried I would blame you for losing our child?" he too kneels down and takes her in his arms. "That baby was yours as much as mine. It would have hurt you more than the news hurts me now. I am just angry that you didn't share your pain with me. You were suffering physically & mentally alone." he kisses her head over & over again. "Why you did this to yourself Sanjana? You should have told me." He says feeling little upset and hurt.

"I was feeling guilty of losing our baby"

"Oh please, you had a miscarriage for God's sake. You don't have anything to feel guilty of."

"And I also didn't want to worry you. You are all I have, Gautham" she says softly placing her head on his chest.

"Promise me you will never ever hide things from me. You hiding things & taking all the pain on your own makes me worry. I was in purgatory all these days seeing you in pain. I felt like you have built a wall blocking me to come nearer to you"

"I just didn't want my pain to affect you" she whispers.

"There is no 'you' and 'me' in our relations. It's always 'us'. You get that?"

"I'm sorry. I won't hide anything for you hereafter."

"Good. Now, enough of your apologies & crying" he kisses her lips tenderly & she kisses him back loving the feel of his lips on hers. She feels as if a huge stone is lifted off her chest. She feels so peaceful & calm in his arms.

"Come, let's shower. Let's wash away all the sad memories & start everything fresh" he says. She nods. Then he briskly strips out of his cloths & strips hers too, he leads her under the shower head. He pulls her into his arms & holds her, holds her for the longest time, as the water gushes over them, soothing them. Gautham lets her cry in his arms & he too shed tears for their lost baby wishing & hoping they get back the baby soon.

"I want my baby back, Gautham" she says softly. In reply he kisses her head.

"Doctor said we can try for another baby after six month" she says.

"Hmm... we will build a baby after six month" he says. She giggles hearing his terminology and that's her first genuine smile after his accident.

"Build? It's not a building... it's a baby, Architect Sir" she laughs. He smiles seeing her laugh. Finally, he has successfully won his wife back to her normal, happy self.

"We will surely have kids. Hopefully a girl & a boy as you wished & we will watch them grow up big and happy." he vows her.

--0--

"We should really get out of the bath." Gautham says.

"I'm so comfortable here" Sanjana is sitting between his legs resting her back to his front in the bath tub absent mindedly popping the bubbles in the foam water.

"Me too. But we want to go down"

"I'm scared" she whispers.

"Why?" he asks confused.

"What if... like last time..." she chokes

"Nothing will happen like that. I am here with you, baby" he kisses her head. She smiles relieved.

"You should tell them then" Sanjana says.

"Okay! Let's go give them the good news that 'We are pregnant'..." Gautham kisses her lips before rising up from the bath tub. After waiting & fervently praying for one long year they are blessed with a baby.

______________

So here the story ends! Epilogue to follow!

Cheers!