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A L I C E

ALICE DUNLAP, AT FIRST, felt like she and everyone she cared about were far beyond the point of return. Only now, days after the group had hit rock bottom, did she feel as though they were beginning to make their way back up.

Terminus was what sparked the first bit of hope in the lethargic, heavy eyes of Carl, Rick, Michonne and Alice. The four had just narrowly escaped a group of bandits, earlier that day—Rick coming in closest contact with them. Although spirits weren't necessarily high, they went on about their scattered lives, making the best with what little they had.

Their destination became a mere afterthought following their full day of traveling. The priority was their safety, even if that were to deter the group from approaching the promises made by the signs—the only remaining way to safely portray word of mouth. They still weren't even sure whether or not to put their trust in what was waiting for them at the end of the train tracks.

Carl and Alice knew that they'd been settled in for the night early so that Rick and Michonne could discuss the logistics of Terminus without being pressured by the hopeful looks in their eyes. They were concealed from the adult conversation by the thin, metal walls of the car that they were supposed to be sleeping in. Instead, the two figured that it was time to be having a conversation of their own.

"A walker came that close to me?" Alice's eyes widened.

This was the first time that the boy recounted everything that happened while she was unconscious. With every consecutive detail, more and more chills began to ripple down Alice's spine.

"It wasn't just the walker. You were constantly that close t—to death." Carl followed with a reluctant nod, looking over his shoulder at the girl sitting in the backseat. "Before everything went south, it was already on its way there—or at least it felt like it."

She furrowed her eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

Carl shrugged before repositioning his body to face her, throwing his legs over the center console. "More people died in quarantine. They turned. The main fence came crashing down. We handled it, but we still lost people. That almost included you."

Alice stared at the remorseful look on the boy's face. The guilty thoughts behind his eyes lingered evidently as he tried to protect her from the gruesome details. She would never fully understand the extent to which her life was endangered, and she was beginning to think that maybe she didn't want to understand.

She knew that more of the sick people died and that she could've easily been one of them if not for Hershel, whose death initiated the battle that ended the prison. And Alice Dunlap, unable to protect herself, only survived the attack because Carl was able to think on his feet. For that, she didn't know how she'd ever be able to repay him.

After everything that she'd been through and all that she'd lost, she was somehow still grateful to be alive.

"I'm glad that it didn't." She pulled her lips into a small smile as an attempt at easing the tense boy sitting in the passenger seat.

"So am I," Carl was able to return the gesture, with ease. Only his smile seemed to be controlling him, whereas Alice's was out of her own nervousness. "Considering that my plan to get you out of there failed miserably."

Alice rolled her eyes, humoring the boy. "What plan?"

"At first, I tried to carry you." Carl admitted. He raised his eyebrows. "Let's just say that it was over before it even started."

Much to the girl's surprise, a laugh involuntarily escaped from her throat. She could almost picture what Carl was talking about, in her mind.

The noise was unfamiliar to both Carl and Alice, though they both savored every second of it as the boy couldn't help but join her. Alice hadn't noticed how long it'd been since she'd laughed, until she heard her own voice echo around the inside of the dark car.

"Thank you for at least trying." Their laughter began to die down, only coming out in short gusts of breath as Alice began to speak. "It—uh—it really means a lot."

"Don't mention it." The boy seemed to completely soften under her gaze, as his laughter ceased. For a few moments, the two just looked at one another in deep thought, until Carl once again began to chuckle. "Seriously, don't tell anyone that I couldn't pick you up."

Alice knew that the boy's joke was made in spite of the heavy seriousness that hung over their shoulders. It was almost as if her sincerity had become too much for him.

Carl Grimes was not one to accept praise.

He had told Alice not to mention it, but the girl never wanted to shut up about it. She wanted Carl to know that he saved her life, one way or another. She wanted to thank him—to make it up to him. But how does someone return that kind of favor? In order for that to happen, Carl Grimes would have to be in danger. And the last thing that Alice had come to want for the boy was danger.

Before their conversation, the girl had felt that she was just one brush away from death—a death that she could never sense because she was not awake to feel it. But now, Alice realized that she should not fret over the matter. She was safe all along, because Carl was there every step of the way.

Carl Grimes made her feel safe, even when she was most vulnerable, and that was more than she could say about anyone other than herself. Although they'd met several months ago, the girl finally captured his essence.

Alice finally knew who Carl was and she was delighted by that opportunity.

"Don't mention what?" Alice let out a laugh at his joke, despite the magnitude of the thoughts rattling around in her brain, because he was funny. Carl Grimes was funny. She dramatically closed her eyes, raising her eyebrows as she continued to tease him. "I have no idea what you're talking ab—"

But when Alice Dunlap's eyes opened, they locked with the eyes of a stranger who was looking into the passenger window, right behind an unsuspecting Carl. That was until the boy caught a glimpse of the sudden, distraught look on Alice's face.

The boy turned to see what she was looking at, but got a much better look at the man than he anticipated as the passenger door opened and he began grabbing at Carl. He let out a grunt, attempting to fend off the large man who had no trouble overpowering him.

"No!" Alice yelped as she desperately grasped at Carl, attempting to somehow stop what was happening.

By the time the boy reached out for her, it was already too late. The back door had also been opened, and Alice was about to suffer his same exact fate. She kicked and punched at whoever had grabbed her from behind, lifting her from the seat. The girl felt around for her knife, quickly ripping it from her holster.

The man holding her easily managed to squeeze her hand so hard that her knife fell out of her grasp and landed amongst the dry leaves. As Alice's worried eyes followed the whereabouts of her weapon, she noticed the predicament of everyone else surrounding her.

Michonne and Rick were held at close-range gunpoint, staring with wide eyes as Alice and Carl struggled within the arms of their captors. Daryl, who the two teens failed to notice had arrived, was shoved to the ground, surrounded by a few men who wasted no time in pummeling him.

Alice could hardly focus on Rick's pleading or Carl's whimpers as she was thrown onto the ground. Only a few seconds buffered the moments in which she'd been released, to when she had been pinned down. She never even got a glance at the man who'd been handling her, as she immediately felt the weight of his heavy boot on the surface her back, holding her down.

She reached for her knife, but the action was in vein. A gunshot seemed to have echoed out into the dark woods, but Alice couldn't hear anything over the sound of her own heartbeat. The man reached down and grabbed her extended wrist, pinning her arm to the ground and now straddling her.

The girl groaned and tried to squirm underneath the heaviness of the person sitting on top of her, but her struggles were of no avail—only etching the powerless feeling deeper into her frantic mind.

Alice could only focus on the crushing weight of the man and the taste of the dirt and leaves as she could no longer lift her head from the ground. The earthly yet foreign taste made her feel that much more disgusted about what was going on.

Out of breath as well as options, the girl had no choice but to prepare herself for whatever fate she was to suffer. She'd heard about men like this and what they do to people her age. Over the dry leaves she could see what the other man was preparing to do to Carl, as to void naive hope of the men having any another intention with the two of them.

She squeezed her eyes shut, her body still squirming as her helpless cries continued to echo out. She tried to breathe—she tried to somehow still believe that there was a way out of this.

And there was.

Gunshots echoed throughout the small clearing, the heavy man falling off of her in sync with one of them. Alice could hear the struggles of her group fighting off the men. She wanted to help but she couldn't get herself to move.

Twigs and crunchy, dry leaves were still poking into the skin of her stomach that she didn't even know had been exposed—the grittiness of the dirt still prominent on her tongue as she began to gain more and more sensation. But, as seconds continued to pass and the rest of the adults fought to wipe out the men, the girl still felt trapped, lying there on the forest floor. Although the man had been shot and rolled onto the ground, she still felt every aspect of his crushing weight as though he was still on top of her.

Although she'd now had the time, her breath had still not yet come back to her. She didn't even know if she wanted it to.

Just a few moments ago, the girl had been grateful to be given a second chance at life. Now, Alice Dunlap wasn't so sure if being alive was something she should be proud of.

☆

With the taste of dirt fresh on her tongue, Alice's boots trudged along the forest floor, keeping on as if last night never even happened. The group now had Terminus in their sights, and the girl felt like her mind could only handle looking forward instead of facing the present reality.

She hadn't spoken to Carl, or anyone else, since they were supposed to have been sleeping in that car. Aside from simply not having a moment alone with the boy, Alice felt like there wasn't even anything left to be said. Everything—every painful detail—was out in the open, despite how badly she wished she could keep them inside.

Of course Michonne was there to pick up the pieces, but no matter what kind of support system Alice and Carl had, the two were unsure if they would ever be the same again.

The two teens silently wandered around the perimeter of Terminus, Michonne choosing to lag behind them after her talk with Carl. Alice had excluded herself from their conversation—she'd excluded herself from every conversation since their camp was raided.

It was clear to the girl that Carl had been working up the courage to say something, trying to find the right words or anything of that sort. Several times during their supervised patrol, Alice could sense when words were on the tip of his tongue. It began to bother her.

"So," Alice spoke up, amidst a sigh. "What do you think Terminus will be like?"

For a few moments, the boy's lips remained sealed. The two teens didn't dare look over at one another. Their eyes wandered from the ground, to the perimeter, to the trees.

Carl gulped. "You don't have to do that, you know?"

"Do what?" She furrowed her eyebrows, although he wasn't looking at her, and tried to act oblivious.

Alice knew exactly what he was talking about. The two had something between them that was a bit deeper than meaningless small talk. But the small talk wasn't his problem, it was her avoidance.

"Pretend like everything's okay." She could hear the fabric of his hoodie rub together as he shrugged, that of which she caught sight of out of the corner of her eye. "We've come this far. Don't shut down on me now."

His words were spoken with the premise that the two shared a bond—Alice knew that. They did have something that resembled a friendship. They cared for one another. But his desire to confront and not avoid sent an impulse of anger coursing through her veins.

"Everything's not okay." She admitted. The girl gripped the straps of her backpack, continuing to maneuver her boots through the leaves and letting out a scoff. "I thought that was obvious."

Carl stopped in his tracks, leaving Alice to travel a few more paces before she noticed that he was no longer by her side. She turned, looking over her shoulder to face him. "Then why act like it's okay?"

The two finally met eyes as Alice forced a tight lipped smile. "Because it will be okay."

She turned away from Carl and continued walking the perimeter. Except, his footsteps never picked up their pace.

"But it's not okay right now." Carl persisted.

Alice's steps came to a sudden stop as she gently threw her head up at the sky, rolling her eyes.

The girl was becoming more and more agitated by how adamant he was being about the topic. Whatever principle he was working his way towards proposing—she wished that he would just get on with it, already.

She turned around, her feet picking up their pace in Carl's direction before stopping just a few feet away from him. "And what do you expect me to do about that? Huh?"

The boy didn't know what to say, for he had not expected such a sudden reaction from the girl who, so far, seemed to be keeping it together. He stood there, his mouth slightly agape as he watched Alice's exterior crumble in front of his very own eyes.

"There was nothing I could've done about it then," Alice started. The girl's voice began to crack and her eyes began to water. "And there's still nothing I can do about it, now."

Her resentful words seemed to satisfy Carl, as he'd finally gotten her to talk. But what he didn't know was that Alice wasn't placing her resentment on the events of last night, she was resenting him.

If he wouldn't have saved her, then she wouldn't have lived. She would've died a peaceful death—one that she wouldn't have been scared of. She wouldn't have had to endure what almost happened to her last night or witness Carl endure it, as well. Alice wouldn't have had to experience the few seconds that she'd spent living in the mindset of accepting that horrific fate.

"So can we please j—" Alice cut herself off out of fear that a cry might escape, between her words. "Can we please just drop it?"

With raised eyebrows and a stunned look on his face, Carl quickly nodded.

The girl quickly seemed taken aback by herself, her eyes beginning to look at anything other than Carl as she blinked away her tears and started to turn around. Although she couldn't find it in herself to match his gaze, her head hung low for a moment as she stopped herself before completely turning away.

"Thank you."

☆

Rick, Michonne, Daryl, Carl and Alice entered Terminus as only a small fraction of their group from before. But despite everything and everyone they were disconnected from, they welcomed the gratitude that came with getting to share a warm meal together. They sure could've used it.

Carl was the first to grab a plate, Alice being right behind him. The adults let the kids go up to the smoking grill first, out of a parental nobility. Once the two grabbed their plates, they stood off to the side, listening as Michonne riddled the people of Terminus with her constructive questions.

Carl and Alice both looked over at one another as if to check in on the other. To the girl, it almost seemed as if Carl was sizing her up—trying to assess whether or not he was allowed to act happy around her. Under his testy glance, she felt like an asshole.

Terminus was supposed to have been a relief—something that they were supposed to enjoy. And with how Alice snapped on the boy, back in the woods, she'd robbed the pair of getting to enjoy this moment together. Instead, it was filled with an overwhelming awkwardness.

And Alice was beginning to feel that awkwardness within the pits of her gut. Her queasy feeling was either a result of that or the smell of the cooked meat that sat in her hand-held plate.

She figured that it made sense that her mouth was watering in a sickly way. The girl hadn't eaten much in almost a week. Her stomach probably wasn't prepared for a meal, let alone the overwhelming scent of a hot one. Alice held her plate outward, lowering it away from her nostrils.

As to not be rude, she decided on watching as the people of Terminus continued to pass out the slabs of meat to the adults.

Her patience didn't last too long before she noticed Carl still staring at her, out of the corner of her eye. She quickly averted her eyes towards the citizens as they went about their day, trying to picture what life in Terminus was like.

Alice's eyebrows furrowed and she did a double take after glancing over at a few people who, for some reason, resembled life at the prison. She couldn't put her finger on what'd given her such urgent memories. It took the girl a few seconds to realize how unnatural seeing a certain combination of items was, outside of her old home.

One person was wearing police riot gear—the kind that the group would often use, back at the prison. Another was sporting the patterned poncho, that of which had been passed around to whoever needed warmth or even to shield their shoulders from the sun. The man passing out the food had a familiar chain dangling from his pocket—the chain belonging to the body of Hershel's watch.

Alice's bouncy eyes wandered past the people who harnessed the strikingly familiar items, only for her gaze to lock on something else—something that made her feel things completely unrelated to life the prison.

Something that she never thought she'd see again, but recognized the instant it entered her sight:

Her father's backpack.

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3278 words
April 28, 2023
10:37 PM

A/N

...

so the secret's out :p alice will shortly be getting the answers that she rightfully deserves !

we're officially starting season 5 next chapter!! WOOOHH!! I'm literally so excited to start posting with my older face claim bc I have SO MANY GOOD CLIPS FOR S5 + IVE NEVER GOTTEN TO WRITE SEASON 5/TERMINUS BEFORE!!

sorry once again for a semi-late update and especially to those people who I told that this would be out like two days ago lololol

also can I just say that TWD fans are the most unfunny people ever?

"we're in the woods" "watermelon" "wayne dunlap"
"fort benning" "coral" "let me tell you something"

I made Alice's last name "Dunlap" because I wanted to get full inspiration for her character from the show so it would seem as authentic as possible. And now it's the most unfunny, overused joke I've ever seen in my life.

+ my tiktoks have been getting on the FYP of heathens and I've been getting a lot of hate as of recent. I genuinely would like to know what goes through people's heads when they comment "BRO" or "absolutely not" on my edits. like do they think I'm going to stop?? LMFAO like ur just boosting my account???

anyways I hope you guys enjoyed this longish chapter !! I've been obsessing over it since the last update and now I can FINALLY post all the edits I have of the last scene :p

☆vote if ur curious ab Alice's reaction☆