~ MARRIAGE - TORTURE TO LOVE BY shespeaks_starflyer ~

Title:
Your title gives an idea of what your story is based on. Let’s take a look at how is it different from others.

Plot and characters:
The introduction of the characters was nice. But as the plot develops I felt the friendship is taking a back seat and there was no trust between them. It makes us question the male protagonist whether he understood his best friend or not.

Usage of word and catch:
Though the genre was relevant I felt the word could have been used in a better way. He could have explained his points more clearly. The plot described your understanding of catch nicely but overall I felt the plot and storyline was a bit cliché. In my opinion, he should have at least spoken to her once as to ‘why did you make this decision?’

Grammar and Detailing:
It was easy to read and written well. But I felt you could add some more details to your story.

As a reader:
I was intrigued by the introduction but then as the story goes on it became a common plot. You could give importance to the female lead too but you made her look weak. In a way it was like abuse is not a big deal and she has accepted it. I liked that he realised his mistake and the mother’s role was nice. I liked the way you portrayed her role.

Conclusion:
A good attempt but there’s room for improvement.

~ POSSIBILITIES – YOU AND I BY Helly_18 ~

Title:
An interesting one as it can be anything or everything.  A nice cover is an added bonus. Let’s take a look at their desires.

Plot and characters:
The blurb is beautiful and it expresses her feelings and emotions clearly through music. I loved the fact that the female protagonist is strong enough not to give up on her love and that is enough to know she is unique. Both the characters do inspire and affect us in a way and makes a place for them in our heart. Though the rest of the characters had a very little role they did their part well.

Usage of word and catch:
I felt the word could be phrased in a better way but the way you portrayed the catch was nice. It acted as a catalyst for the change in the mind-set and thus a happy ending. Thanks for the happy ending.

Grammar and Detailing:
It was pretty easy to read with simple words, but could use more detailing.

As a reader:
I loved the way you shaped the character of female protagonist and a vulnerable male protagonist was also a welcome change as there is always only a damsel who is always in distress.  It was a good story line and the fact that there is no negativity adds more beauty.

Conclusion:
A unique storyline and was finely executed.

~ UNHEARD SYMPHONY OF LOVE BY existingtodream ~

Title:
An intriguing title is enough to gather the attention of readers. I would like to applaud you for the title you chose for the story. Your cover and blurb are the same it gives an idea of something similar is happening in the story but let’s see what happens as the story progresses.

Plot and character Development:
A nice plot and characters played their role well. The friendship between Vikram and Anirudh is admirable. Though the plot is common your style of writing has made it a bit different but I felt something is missing. The way he behaved wasn’t nice and it’s good thing his friend made him realise his love. The assurance from loved one is always required for a relationship to strengthen and that part was neatly written with a realistic touch.

Usage of word and catch:
It was clever of you to use catch first and then the word as it slowly sheds light on to his character. I would like to appreciate you for that.

Grammar and Detailing:
The conversation between the friends was a nice start to the story. It was reader friendly but there were a few errors in sentence formation. Do have a look at your punctuation too.  The way you narrated the past was good. But the picture had a greater impact.

As a reader:
An interesting title and different plot is enough to get out attention to the story. I liked the way it started and how the story is narrated from a third person P.O.V.  Though he was a playboy, he had the guts to openly accept that. That deserves cookie points but somewhere I couldn’t connect emotionally to the story. There was not much impact of characters but would like to appreciate the touch of reality you gave as you explained what a child goes through when the relationship between the parents are broken.

Conclusion:
A dose of reality wanting to be assured that history will not repeat again.

~ DYSPHORIA BY _khusiyaan_ ~

Title:
The title sounds interesting and urges the readers to take a look into your book. The cover could be better but it still is nice.

Plot and character Development:
Nice character introduction with description. But the character introduction of friend and mother of female lead could also be presented along with them. As the story progresses the ugly truth of mother comes out and the way she twists the truth to manipulate is just disgusting. It stirs up the emotions of the readers.  We all feel bad for the female lead but she didn’t let it become a weakness. Though there was friendship in the story there is no exploration of it or need for the friend is also not clear.

Usage of word and catch:
The usage of word could be better and the catch was used in a way to shed some light on what has happened in the past, as the past always impacts on the present and even future too.

Grammar and Detailing:
It is easy to read without any new words to complicate but the sentence formation and grammatical errors are to be corrected. Found some typos too, please do correct them.

As a reader:
I liked the title but was disappointed with the single line description. A good story line and it makes us question if you can’t trust your own mother then who else can you trust? The character of male protagonist was good though I still disagree with him on the money part. The conclusion was also a bit unacceptable as you have a past due to which you became the person you are now but how can you immediately accept a person who has been in your life for only 3 days?

Conclusion:
A nice story line but would like to see improvement in sentence formation and grammar so that quality of the story is increased.

~ WITHERED ROSE BY polymath_land ~

Title:
A title is something that makes the reader to have a look at the story. You are to be appreciated because the title definitely makes us have a look at the story.

Plot and character development:
The story line and plot was totally a new one so thank you for showing us your creativity in such a way that they tug at our heart strings. The characters were beautifully introduced and the way they transformed in the story was also wonderful. The conclusion was something unexpected yet it portrayed her emotions beautifully. To be honest, your conclusion had a great impact on me. I could sense the raw pain of a broken promise and trust. The heart which was already broken was shattered when it took the decision to trust again.

Usage of word and catch:
Throughout the story I could get the essence of the word but the word itself wasn’t found in the story. But the usage of catch was commendable. The way you describe it through your words gives us an insight into the trauma 10 year old had to face. It also raises a question that ‘why are men so cheap?’ Beautiful blurb and an unexpected journey. Do keep it up.

Grammar and Detailing:
You have a way with words. The entire description of portrait and the impact it left was nicely written.  But the conclusion just took my heart away I was literally in tears when she was heartbroken.  You are good at portraying emotions. Do keep up the good work.

As a reader:
The way you started narrating the story was great. I can feel as though it is unfolding right in front of me and not a memory in a story. The entire story had intense emotions and I could feel the same through your words. The way you made it sound, ‘a promise to be treated equally is it too much to ask?’, is actually the need of the hour. Thanks for this beautiful piece of emotions.

Conclusion:
Withered Rose is definitely wilted due to broken promises and it reminds us equality in a relationship is still a far-fetched dream.

~ CHAINED, BY TRADITIONS BY Its-priyaanka ~

Title:
This title gives us an idea of what the story is based on. Let’s see what you do so that it depicts your style of writing.

Plot and character development:
An age-old plot but you definitely bring in the much needed P.O.V. Almost all the stories focus on the story of the person who is hurt but this story of yours sheds some light on the person who hurts and it also makes us realise that it is not always what it seems like. He had his reasons but is it more valid than his love? This regret will eat him alive and when he realised the damage was already done.

Usage of word and catch:
The word and catch usage was up to a mark as it shaped the character of male lead. The way you vividly described the mind-set of the person who has endured childhood trauma and how difficult is it to let go of them.

Grammar and Detailing:
Good choice of words. The emotions are beautifully portrayed and the pain and regret of losing a loved one is clear. But would like a quote or phrase so that it could add a beautiful addition to your story. That poem was a beautiful addition to the story.

As a reader:
The first question that pops up after reading is that why is it necessary to label your relationship? Who are we to judge them and their relationship? Who gave us this right? Alas the only response is that this is what is happening in the past and it will continue to happen.  Some people are not ready to give the label and it is ok but alas it is still unacceptable when the label is not marriage and to be frank marriage is not the destination it’s just a new milestone in your journey.

Conclusion:
Let go of your past before it destroys the future. Don’t judge people for not doing what you think is right let them explore the journey before giving labels. These are the takeaways from the story. Keep writing more like this!

~ PISTANTHROPHOBIA BY RehanaSiraj ~

Title:
It gives us an idea that it is about the fear while getting emotionally attached. Let’s see where this journey takes us to.

Plot and character development:
A nice plot not exactly a new one but this story has made it very much new and the credit goes to you. The narration of blurb has our heart racing as to what is going to happen but nothing prepares you for the emotional pain of the protagonist.  Abuse is something that is still considered as common in a relationship but nobody knows the impact it has on children who grew up in such an environment.  The maturity of male lead makes him better than the prince charming. I wish all men could be this mature. Overall, a nice job. Well done!

Usage of word and catch:
Thanks for breaking the stereotype of this word being associated with male protagonist mostly. The catch was described as though it is happening right now and the plight of the little girl with no one to confide in, it breaks my heart.

As a reader:
I am still reeling from the way you described the nightmare. Those words show us the pain inside her the fear inside that everyone will end up same as her father. The maturity shown by male protagonist is something I love. That level of maturity can be found only in these fictional characters but thanks for this beautiful piece of story. The way she said this guy will change my mind it shows that she has already started trusting him without even realising it. This level of maturity in early twenties is something new. Thank you for this beautiful male character.

Grammar and Detailing:
It is easy to read and the emotions are portrayed well. But there is room for improvement. Keep writing more and more. Add little details to the story to make it look more beautiful and it increases the essence of the story.

Conclusion:
Not every male out there is a male chauvinistic pig or an asshole who thinks it’s ok to abuse their wife. With the right person at your side you can overcome your fears.

~*~*~*~*~

We hope that the reviews were helpful and will guide you all how to improve your writing skills. Reviews from other judges are coming up soon.

Stay tuned!

Love,
Stella & Asmi