There probably are conversations everyone has had that are best to be kept secret. When someone else finds out, they either want to know details or simply shrug it off. Say that person doesn't give in and tries their hardest to learn what's going on, and a bystander, who barely knows the basics, happens to spill what they know. That's one person down, now to the next. Another person, one who understands the situation and realizes that it's best they don't say anything, stays quiet.

But, alas, temptation comes in and they tell the wondering person to back off. They keep coming back and finally, they say it's best they hear it from the person themselves, not some kind of messenger. Well, that makes things hard to do if those people won't spill it themselves. Now what?

Do we just shoot the messenger in hopes of them cracking?

X X X

Why am I not surprised and surprised at the same time? Mothpaw thought, scowling to herself. Dapplefur didn't seem bothered by the fact, spilling out the fact she broke a law and carried on with life as if StarClan wouldn't come down and strike her with a bolt of lightning - if they even existed. When she thought about it, Breezepaw and Whitepaw did share some common traits; the patches of white fur across the medicine cat's pelt had completely taken over the two she-cats while the gray fur was from their father, but despite knowing the facts, she wouldn't have noticed that the two belonged to the cat that shared her worth through herbs and sweet nothings.

Perhaps the only clue would've been the fact the two apprentices had approached her after the meeting. Mothpaw smiled to herself, knowing that the two didn't hold any kind of grudge or searing hatred toward their mother. But that smile quickly lowered to a frown, questioning if the two knew who their father was.

Dapplefur was waiting for the next question, trying to look at the two apprentices without revealing too much interest in them. Her tired and worn-out expression showed her weariness, a cat like her that practically represented hope and courage had finally been beat to the ground, each death and missing cat pounding her to the ground without rest. It was heartbreaking to know both mentor and apprentice had believed in similar things, and one of them finally gave up, taking matters into his own paws. And the other stayed there, taking blows left and right all the while praying that a single star would glimmer in the night sky.

Knowing that MeadowClan has fallen into a state of defeat when they hadn't even raised a paw was the sole reason to Beechpaw's actions, where she was only dragged around as a supporting role.

Beechpaw glanced at that exit dully, sharing the same shock as his sister at the news. Then he looked back, and both Mothpaw and Dapplefur could tell what the next question was going to be.

"How and why?"

"There are some things you need to learn from Ashstar himself," she said, voice hardening. She wrapped her tail around her body tightly, and she closed her eyes, letting out a breath from her nose. Ears flattening, she growled, "But there's no harm in letting you know what exactly went on."

"You already know the main reason: kits and more kits. It's disgusting to know that she-cats now are only seen as ways to bring more kits into existence." Dapplefur caught Mothpaw's eye before continuing. "But Ashstar and I have some kind of history together, though I truly want to believe it was platonic love."

Does she know about Daystar and Amberfeather? If she's known Ashstar, then she knows Amberfeather and Pebbleflight, too!

"As kits, Daystar made us regular apprentices, train, hunt, patrol, and heal. We both knew missing cats weren't uncommon, but that didn't stop anyone from doing anything. We became warriors and medicine cat quickly, and that's when I saw Pebbleflight and Ashstar getting closer. Of course, it wasn't anything I took too bad to the heart, he did lose both sisters one right after the other—"

"Sisters?!" Mothpaw sputtered, not knowing what she said. Dapplefur paused and gave her a curious look. Then Beechpaw muttered the speech and then his ears perked up, realizing it as well. The siblings leaned closer, their attention dragged somewhere else. The calico she-cat narrowed her eyes and before she could correct herself, words came tumbling out of the silver apprentice's jaws.

"But Tigerfrost said that Amberfeather was Ashstar's sister and only sister! Well, Icekit said that he had two but she denied his words, but a kit has no reason to lie, do they?" explained Mothpaw, to which Beechpaw nodded and looked to Dapplefur for the answer.

"That is something I probably shouldn't be the one to answer," she whispered. "But I will let you know that I'm not lying when I tell you he has two sisters. Did you learn anything else about the other one...?"

"Icekit said that Tigerfrost talks about her like she's some kind of rogue! She knows she's alive but hasn't seen her in forever! Is she a rogue? Can you tell me that?"

"She's not a rogue," Dapplefur answered. "It's true, but I can't answer why Tigerfrost lied to you about Ashstar's family. Back to the main point, Pebbleflight gave birth to Deerleaf and eventually died after her kit reached the age of five moons. For some reason, I was put in charge of that little troublemaker. She's probably the sole reason I decided against having any kits, but that leader of ours made things difficult to stick to that oath."

"You make it sound like Ashstar's some terrible leader—"

"Because he can be," she promptly responded, making her voice clear. "He's stubborn, unselfish, and a mouse-brain. A kit right out of the nursery would make a better leader than him." Dapplefur's eyes flashed with sorrow and she dropped her shoulders, anger emitting off of her like steam. The medicine cat collected herself and reopened her eyes, no longer chained down by a small fire of rage. "And that's what makes him... him."

"Next question, do you know what kind of rogue group Honeypaw's in?" Mothpaw asked, hoping to walk away from the discussion of a medicine cat's and a leader's love life. She hated it when they snooped around other cats' private lives just for their own personal gain. Where Beechpaw had no problem sticking his nose in places it shouldn't be, she was more hesitant and watched from the sides, always there to drag her pesky brother out. Sometimes she'd wonder who really was the eldest.

There was some kind of commotion going on outside camp now, and judging by the snarkish voice, it was either a cranky Speckleflash that had just spotted a thorn pricking her side, or it was a protesting Deerleaf who was ready to fight a clanmate. Instead, a higher-pitched voice rang across the camp, yowling jumbled words and phrases directed at some cat. There was a softer voice that shouted back, and the two voices bounced off of one another like a game of mossball. Hushed murmurs would try to step in the resolve the fight, but they would quickly die out after there was some kind of threat or word spoken.

Luckily, not a single cat poked their head into the den, checking to see if anything had happened overnight. The three cats recognized the sharp tongue of Breezepaw when the she-cat let out another protest and, being an awful mother, Dapplefur let her daughter scream her head off and simply nodded her head at each false statement and fake vow. Mothpaw kept the growing temptation inside her down, only for it to burst through the wall she built. Whitepaw's cry followed, mimicking her own voice that attempted to shout above her siblings', making her hesitate.

"I know a little," Dapplefur said. "Listen, it's not my place for me to tell you guys anything. It's not that information like this is top secret and the number of cats and who know this needs to be limited. It's simply because cats like you are going to go against what we say no matter how much we stress about the danger."

That's... true, she thought, taking the blow to the heart. Beechpaw hitched his breath and the grin ahead of them increased, knowing she landed where she wanted. Dapplefur smirked and turned her head away, taking in as much glory as she could for now. Mothpaw's mind wandered off toward the batch of kits within the nursery, and immediately, she thought of Tigerfrost and the worry MeadowClan has thrown on her.

Those kits would be more than ready if they were told a secret and something they weren't supposed to do. Then there was the moment they became apprentices, would Ashstar tell them about the Moon Tree and how forbidden it was to go and leave out the parts of cats dying to save the group? Or would there no longer be a reason since Breezepaw and Whitepaw were gone and there wasn't a need to visit that sacred place? Mothpaw clenched her teeth, anger rising in her to know that her leader would throw away the lives of cats the Clan needed so desperately.

Cats like Dapplefur would only sit in their dens, waiting for some kind of sign to strike them for throwing kits out, neglecting their health and safety. Even worse, sending the entire Clan to admire the sick work, all of them knowing the truth that there were two perfectly healthy kits hanging in a tree, a simple breeze enough to push them over and send them falling toward their deaths. And StarClan hadn't done a thing to punish their Clan in any way.

"I want to know how the world hasn't beaten the curiosity out of you two." Dapplefur shifted in her nest, narrowing her eyes at the two siblings. "You're still young and naïve, but you've already lost your mother, father, and sister. Don't they mean anything to you?"

"Only two," Beechpaw growled, flattening his ears. "Maybe one, right now. Echoflight was the only cat in this Clan that showed us love and compassion. Honeypaw's our sister but now, she's a complete stranger walking around in her fur. Ripplestone was never our father and he never cared for us."

"Then you don't know the small twist to your birth, do you?" Dapplefur said with a long sigh. "Echoflight was always an arrogant cat yet was a master at hiding it. I believe she used Pebbleflight's status to boost her own favor in Ashstar's eyes."

"What do you mean?!" snarled both apprentices, hackles rising and claws unsheathing.

"I'm saying your mother wanted to Ripplestone all to herself but never once did she ever want kits of her own." The aura around the calm medicine cat suddenly grew like a hailstorm. The warmth in her green eyes sharper and hardened into crystals, emitting not a single ounce of sympathy.

"But Echoflight loved us!"

"Ripplestone, the father you hate with your entire being so much, was the one who wanted kits and the moment you four were brought into this world, he swore he'd split the entire world if it meant keeping you safe. Echoflight's views on having kits drastically changed the moment she laid eyes on you."

"You can't be serious," Mothpaw claimed, pressing a paw on her brother's tail. "Then why did Ripplestone hardly ever hang out with us? Can you explain that?"

"My best guess is the fact missing cats were a thing. He didn't want to see you guys somewhere he didn't know and would always leave at night in search of whatever kind of cause. If he showed you hardly any care and love, then it was probably because he didn't want to double the pain of missing one of you. Gorsekit was a fine example of that, you could say."

"You're saying Ripplestone was only a mouse-brain to us because he was afraid of losing us to some kind of disaster?" Beechpaw demanded, getting up. He marched over to Dapplefur and smashed his head against her, refusing to move even when Mothpaw begged for him to stop. Rage lit his eyes and he curled his lips back into a snarl, tears of spite pricking his amber orbs. Both she-cats in the den could tell he was about to explode and lash out, and he was currently fighting with every nerve in his body to remain calm and not have some kind of outburst.

Mothpaw didn't want to say anything, afraid that the confusion and stubbornness in him would turn on her and cause some kind of emotion to unwrap itself in her, turning her into a mindless cat acting on thoughts alone. Her brother's legs shook, hardly containing themselves anymore. Dapplefur didn't look frightened or taken back; she faced the apprentice with a level of bravery and certainty that she hadn't seen on anycat's face before. Anticipation made her paws and whiskers twitch uncontrollably as Beechpaw fumbled with his mouth to speak.

But what her brother did wasn't what she expected, not in a million years.

He dropped to his paws, throwing his head into Dapplefur's pelt, rage steaming out of his body in massive waves, drowning Mothpaw and the medicine cat. Face resting on her pelt, her brother began to make muffled moans or sobs, soaking the she-cat's pelt. The calico cat didn't look bothered and her face softened with each sound. Beechpaw's tail twisted together tightly as an attempt to recollect himself, but his body wouldn't listen and he continued to spew snippets of nonunderstandable words into the black and orange pelt.

Emotions flew out of his mouth and absorbed into the medicine cat's pelt like thirsty tree branches. Beechpaw let out a strangled cries, chokes, moans, tripping over his own words and noises, and that only made things worse on him. Mothpaw shut her eyes, feeling something stir inside her that made her own paws want to float closer and wrap herself around her older brother. What stopped her was the fact she was stuck in a dark void, sight going black and mind silent for once, the only sound ringing in her ears like thunder being her family's cry. Shattered and broken, missing their sweet mother who used to be at their side when they fell.

Broken glass fell as Dapplefur's words weaved into their minds, fast as a spider, tying the two together and forcing them to think of their silver mother as a she-cat who never wanted them in the first place. A she-cat that hardly knew of their existence and had an icy sneer that towered over them, ensnaring them in a web of lies and fantasies.

Then Dapplefur leaned over and curled around the apprentice, licking his forehead, similar to what a mother would do. That stopped both Mothpaw and Beechpaw, the illusion fading out of their eyes. Surrounding her brother as a protective shield, the medicine cat comforted him, warm breath filling his ears and body blocking out any kind of pain. The silver apprentice fell to her paws, letting the surging wave of tears die down, hoping that the medicine cat's words would tame her own brother, bent over the death of their mother and loss of their sister.

"I can't change the past or predict the future. If there was ever a cat in the world that could do that, then our world would eat itself inside out." The soft words brought some form of support to the two, but not enough to lift the two back into a state of contentment.

"All we can really do is keep moving forward, even when the problem is over, we keep surging forward or else time will move on without us."

Fight? A small voice whispered in Mothpaw.

"But for now, you apprentices should leave. I'm sure this raid will start sooner or later," Dapplefur replied, pointing her tail at the exit. "I'm sure Ashstar will want to attack soon if Honeypaw's come back."

"Wait, you didn't tell us—"

"It's something I shouldn't tell you," snapped Dapplefur. "I don't know if you can understand me when I say there are some things that I shouldn't have the right to tell you. No matter how you look at it, revealing things that don't even have anything to do with me that could change everything that cat or group has worked for... it's not right. Tell me you understand, lie if you have to, just nod your head yes."

"Dapplefur—"

"Please," she whispered like a frightened kit, legs trembling.

The apprentices didn't get another chance to speak. Whitepaw crawled in, her eyes sparkling at the sight of the two cats who met her moons ago. It gave Mothpaw something worth smiling for, despite the fact she cursed to herself that the she-cat waltzed in just as the conversation was going somewhere. The white she-cat bounced over and gave both her and her brother a muzzle before darting to her mother, a swift lick swept across her forehead, and Dapplefur looked happy, prodding the cat away. Her loud sister came barging in, immediately spotted the three cats and her younger sister, marched over to take her scruff, and left in a storm.

Breezepaw did share a small look of love with Dapplefur as she left, Whitepaw sighing, dragging her paws along the ground. Once they left, Beechpaw opened his jaws to ask another question, but was promptly shoved out the den, younger sister thrown out after him. The medicine cat stood in the entrance of her den, blocking it with her entire body, staying firm.

"Hey, wait! Just let me know if they know who their father is!" hissed Beechpaw, voice a loud whisper.

"No, they don't know. It's something they shouldn't know, not until they're ready."

And like that, the medicine cat whirled around and slipped back into the den she lived in, confining herself back to herbs and scents that clotted her mind more than dire situations. Within seconds, the den grew silent, the only sounds coming from the soft breaths of Dapplefur as she sorted through leaves and berries, distracting herself with unnecessary work.

Mothpaw thought Dapplefur was a perfect representation of StarClan.