There are certain people who have one thing that holds them back from others. I am one of those people, and that thing is trust issues. It hurts to know that everyone can hide behind masks and you never know what's going to happen if you get to learn some kind of fake personality. When you have issues placing your trust in someone who already betrayed you, it's challenging and you keep a close on eye them. Now, what happens when it's someone who is in your family?

It's almost like, almost like they've been gone from your life for a few years or months. Time changes us each and every day, and the moment you find those different roots, roots that had grown somewhere else, it's painful. Seeing them, you don't know if they're still the same person, and your trust flickers on and off too much.

Which side wins? The fact they're family and you're connected by blood, or the feeling in your gut that you and only you know so well?

X X X

"You're always so slow, hurry up!" A golden tail whisked in the air proudly, heading out of the nursery. The kit bounced with each step, eyesight directed on the exit of the nursery.

"Honeykit! Don't you even think about leaving without your siblings!" Echoflight barked, putting a stop to the she-kit's adventure. Turning around, Honeykit dropped her shoulders, annoyed that her three siblings peeled out from the tail of their silver mother. Beechkit, Gorsekit, and Mothkit stayed silent, eyes wide as they waited for their sister to move.

"Why?" she groaned, collapsing on Echoflight's paw. "It's so boring! Beechkit acts like a runt even though he's the oldest! Gorsekit does nothing but complain and worry about every single thing! Mothkit... I wonder, is she deaf or something?"

Those words stabbed each kit separately, all of them falling into their mother's embrace one by one. Echoflight, seeing this, flattened her ears and forced her eldest daughter over, Honeykit's tiny claws dragging across the ground. She was hoisted into the air and dropped on her siblings, all of the kits letting out a squeal at their sister.

"Honeykit, I'm braver than you! You take that back right now before I fight you!" Beechkit snapped, struggling to reach his sister. Both Gorsekit and Mothkit tried to get out while both golden and brown striped backlegs kicked in each direction.

"I won't take it back! You can't make me!" barked Honeykit, squirming to lock claws with her brother. "If you were brave, then you would've followed me! Not stay by Echoflight!"

"Honeykit, you're mean!" Gorsekit moaned, giving up his struggle. The gray tom flattened his ears and covered himself with his paws to avoid the brawl. Mothkit bit her tongue to keep herself from yowling when his front paw swung and smashed into her ear.

"I'm not mean! You're just sensitive!" retorted Honeykit, whose attention left her older brother's in a matter of seconds. She spotted his tail and snatched it between her paws and bit the skinny bone, causing Gorsekit to thrash in an attempt to escape.

"Honeykit, stop fighting!" Mothkit protested, face shoved into Beechkit's pelt moments later. Whirling around, the two sister's heads clashed together, dazing one another.

When recovered, the golden she-cat shook her head, flicking her ears to shake out any stiffness. "I'll never stop fighting as long as I live!"

"Aren't you going to grow into a strong warrior?" Echoflight purred, ignoring the rest of her kits. "I'm sure MeadowClan is going to value your skills greatly."

"I'll make sure they like me! I'll train extra hard! Hunt really well, too! I'll make sure that the Clan survives! Promise!" announced the loud kit. Honeykit positioned herself on top of her siblings, keeping the balance equal between the three of them. Puffing our her chest, she lifted her tail high, twirling it in the air. Giving her mother a proud smile, she confidently smirked, pushing down the kits below her.

"Honeykit, get off!" All of her siblings roared in unison, summoning enough strength throw their sister. Startled, she let out a yelp, tiny body flung toward Echoflight. Their mother caught her, keeping her safe while the three other kits pushed themselves back up.

"Echoflight, she's being mean!" Beechkit protested, sucking up to his mother as best as he could.

"Echoflight, tell Honeykit to not stand on us anymore! It hurts!" Gorsekit whined, extending his sore body.

"Echoflight, Honeykit's saying bad things toward us!" Mothkit reported, trudging over to her mother's pelt to throw herself on.

"Echoflight, my siblings don't have a backbone!" Honeykit countered, body dangling in her mother's jaws. Echoflight, having enough, dropped the she-kit in the pile with her other kits. The moment she touched the ground, Beechkit hurled himself into the air to land on her. Their mother swiftly caught him, stopping him mid-jump, and pulled all of them close.

One by one, she gave them a quick lick across the forehead, causing Honeykit to squirm. Pulling back, Echoflight stared st each of them with loving eyes.

"You kits have too much energy, why don't you go use it on your father or Hailbreeze?" she joked, prodding Gorsekit, who clinched at her touch, but warmed up and let out a little chirp. The tan-colored tom kit curled underneath her, absorbing the warmth.

"Really?" Beechkit squeaked, springing to his paws. "Ripplestone? Can I? Can I? I wanna see him!" He threw himself at Echoflight, begging to race out of the nursery to greet his father. Mothkit inched closer to Honeykit as their silver mother dealt with her sons.

"Maybe later, I think he's out hunting," she replied, yanking her clingy son away. Beechkit only trampled over Gorsekit, whose fur spiked out at the intrusion.

"Aww, why not?!" he complained, dropping his entire weight on his little brother. "You never let us see Ripplestone. It's not fair!"

"Honeykit, Mothkit," Echoflight mentioned, directing her gaze toward her two daughters. "I want you two to protect each other when you get older. I want you to protect your brothers, too. Can you promise your mother that?"

"Of course!" Honeykit declared, stepping in before Mothkit. Standing in a protective stance in front of the runt, the she-kit unleashed her tiny claws, the fur along her spine rising with each declaration. "I'll fight to be the strongest warrior you've ever seen, Echoflight! They're safe as long as I'm around! I promise! I'll never fight against them but for them!"

"One at a time!" The golden apprentice barked, fighting to break free of the two MeadowClan apprentices. In the cramped space, the she-cat hardly had any room to breathe. Mothpaw and Beechpaw piled on the newcomer, tasting every little scent that lingered on the tips of her fur. Each new smell and taste destroyed and reshaped the once adventurous cat they'd grown up with.

Then another force smashed into the pile, knocking the four of them back to the ground. Mothpaw didn't mind that Runningpaw had used her as a launching pad, shoving his nose to prove to himself that his lost friend had come back. Beechpaw strangled the she-cat like a hungry python, refusing to even let his best friend near the tuft of golden fur.

"You're back! You're really here!" Runningpaw exclaimed, tangling himself into the knot. "You came back! You're not dead!"

"I'm going to die if you all don't get off of me!" With the strength of a senior warrior, the she-cat mustered all of it to throw the apprentices off. Tumbling back, Mothpaw and her brother hit the ground, and Runningpaw regained his posture before he hit the ground, feet touching the grass nimbly. Speckleflash and Ashstar stared at the bundle, then quickly focused on the lost apprentice in the middle.

No matter how many times Mothpaw blinked, there was a she-cat just a little bit taller than her in the middle of the meadow. Her shoulders had grown; they seemed more sturdier than before. Little patches of gray fur slowly merged into the golden fur she'd always known. She was definitely eating better than most of MesdowClan; she wasn't a walking skeleton with barely any little skin attached to her bones. The only thing that seemed to changed was her demeanor. There was always a sense of humor and energy that surrounded her, but now a much stronger aura protected her like an impenetrable shield.

But, nevertheless, there was always the body of her lost sister, Honeypaw, put on the spotlight, alive.

"Thank you," Honeypaw scoffed, leaning over to hack up whatever remained in her throat.

"You came back!" Runningpaw exclaimed, rushing up to greet her.

"Not exactly," she muttered, unmoving even when her former friend embraced her in a hug. Beechpaw and Mothpaw were paralyzed, standing just a few inches apart, hoping their sister would turn to them and say the words, "I'm so happy to see you." However, when their sister looked at them, there was no expression of love or relief that washed away the stone-hard gaze.

"H-Honeypaw," Mothpaw whispered, curling her tail around Beechpaw a little too tightly. Hope flared in her chest, paws tinging with excitement and the urge to run over and throw herself over her older sister. The look the former MeadowClan apprentice gave her shocked her, the look forever burned in her mind.

"You're still here," Honeypaw replied. "You survived."

"Do you recognize us at all?" choked Beechpaw, signs of fear planting in him. Older brother and sister stared at one another for the longest time, none of them saying a word. The other cats respected the crumbling reunion in silence, waiting.

"I remember," Honeypaw finally replied. "I wouldn't forget my siblings too easily." Her gaze shifted to a tearful Runningpaw and a deathly still Olivepaw. "And I wouldn't forget them, either."

"What's my name?!" Beechpaw demanded, throwing himself in her face, mimicking Runningpaw's attempt with Olivepaw. "Come on, say it! What are their names, too?!" One by one, he flicked his striped tail at each cat in the clearing.

"... Beechpaw?" Honeypaw replied, confusion lingering in her voice. Her brother stiffened, sucking in his breath, destroyed at the hesitation. "Mothpaw..." She shuddered when her sister's gaze landed on her, struggling to even keep herself up. "Gorsekit—"

"No!" Runningpaw yowled, stomping his foot on the ground. "I'm not your brother! Can you remember my name at all?!"

"...No, not right now. I just know you were my friend back then."

"Were?! I'm still your friend! I'm Runningpaw! Olivepaw's over there!" The black apprentice hardly moved at the shouting. Honeypaw did absorb the other she-cat's features closely but said nothing.

"Enough," Speckleflash concluded, forcing her way between the conversation. Her presence snapped both Beechpaw and Runningpaw out of their grief, but Mothpaw still crumbled to the ground, heart shattering at the fact her family could hardly remember younger sister. The cream warrior marched over, knocking her apprentice off his paws, and then whirled around, planting her feet on the ground firmly, adamant gaze piling onto Honeypaw.

"I didn't bring you here to reunite with your siblings, even if they resent me for that." Beechpaw turned his head away from his mentor and sister, reverting back to the foolish ways he acted as a kit to ward off sorrow. Standing over the apprentice, unafraid to use harsh actions, the she-cat grew in size.

"You had the scent of Frostlight," she stated. At the sound of the tom's name, Honeypaw glanced at Speckleflash. "Tell me or Ashstar where she is."

"Wherever Breezepaw and Whitepaw are," Honeypaw replied, coming alive to the warrior's question. Beechpaw and Mothpaw didn't say anything, their sister unable to fully welcome them back into her life. The she-cat looked at Olivepaw, who was being embraced by a desperate Runningpaw. "What's wrong with her?" she murmured.

"Who are Breezepaw and Whitepaw, exactly? Is there some kind of other Clan out there?" Rabbitbranch spoke up, putting an end to Speckleflash's short temper. She flattened her ears, growling, and stalked off, keeping her sense alert, and the piercing gaze of her eyes burned onto Honeypaw, not letting a single whisker twitch out of place. Ashstar examined the lost apprentice, relief flooding into his eyes that she was still alive and well. Splashpelt and Tumblekit said nothing, father splitting his attention from his kit and the old apprentice.

"There is no other Clan," Honeypaw answered. "I believe the two along with Scarpaw found them after luring them away from Shatteredstar's camp."

The news shocked the cats only slightly. Honeypaw, noticing their stares, frowned and twitched her tail, not getting fired up by the fact the spotlight was on her like she used to. Between her and Tumblekit, Mothpaw couldn't tell what was more painful to look at.

"Her camp was the second one we attempted to raid. We weren't strong enough, but Scarpaw spotted the incoming patrol of both Clans and we were forced to retreat. Soon enough, there was another smaller patrol stalking us." Honeypaw shrugged, the rest of the story flowing out.

"The rest is simple. We dragged them away from Shatteredstar's camp so they wouldn't send themselves to death. After that, Scarpaw divised a plan to split us off, and I left the group to make sure you guys made it back safely."

"What has our sister become?" Beechpaw whispered into Mothpaw's ear. "It sounds like she's some kind of spy or rogue!"

"She is a rogue," she corrected. "Even if she's with us, she's still a rogue. Unless she joins MeadowClan again."

"I hope! And I hope our good for nothing father isn't around to take her away from us again!"

Then Ashstar padded up to the apprentice, the old tom still towering over Honeypaw. She raised her head to meet his gaze, not flinching as she awaited his comments. The MeadowClan leader dipped his head, nose brushing against her golden forehead. The she-cat straightened up, puffing her chest out how she always had - probably one of the few things that Mothpaw saw that stayed with her older sister.

"Do you happen to have some time before you leave? Or are you planning on staying with us? Is your father well?" He questioned calmly, and Honeypaw nodded promptly, actions firm and almost seemed planned.

"Yes, I do have some time, but I don't think I'll be staying with you. I feel like I've lived outside the Clans for too long now," she answered, sweeping her tail across the grass. "My father is doing well, I can feel it."

Feel it?

"Feel?" Beechpaw latched on. "Does that mean Ripplestone's... gone?" There was hope in his voice, no matter how much he tried to hide it. Mothpaw flattened her ears, wanting to block off his voice before he started to pour all of the feelings he had for their forgotten father.

"Are you going to come back with us or are you going to do your own thing?"

I know it's Honeypaw and I know she'd never do anything wrong to hurt anyone, but why is Ashstar too trusting?

"I can go with you," she answered, voice short. "I want to see if Breezepaw or Whitepaw happen to be out and doing their own thing."

Even if it's Honeypaw and she's back, she may not accept us back, but this is the perfect chance to dig any information out of her. Maybe then I can learn why exactly she left all those moons ago.

And then Beechpaw pulled her close.

"Follow them, no matter what happens. She may be our sister, but I don't trust her with Ashstar."