Have you ever hoped that something grand and big would happen on a certain day? Like your birthday; you hope that there would be presents laid out before your shinning eyes on the kitchen table wrapped in pretty paper and fancy bows. Or a certain toy or game you saved up your allowance money for months or maybe even years - all for it to be for nothing.

You open up the present, expecting to see the object you wished for, only for your heart to sink into your stomach and drag your smile down with it. Perhaps when you try out the game it's nothing like what you thought it was. Whatever happened, you felt your hopes getting crushed right before your eyes. The thing you hoped and the thing that you got were completely different. Your shoulders sag and you suddenly feel tired as if that good had sucked away your energy.

We either move on and look for something else to reach for, or we sulk in the corner and wish that you got what you wanted or your game turned out to be what you expected it to be. If we dwell on the fact it wasn't what it was supposed to be, what happens to us? We feel the need to tell someone that wasn't what you wanted or we want something else because that wasn't good enough. You tend to drag yourself around the room and set the gift to the side, knowing it wasn't what you wanted.

Will we ever get another chance?

X X X

She should've been happy. Mothpaw couldn't recall a day where she wasn't looking forward to the day she would step on the highrock that her mother had once stepped on and received her mentor and new name. Seeing everyone in the Clan pay attention to her for one day, for once, she felt important and useful to her new home. The sun rose behind the meadow and signaled that the new day should start. A new adventure would sprout from the ground and Mothpaw had planted that seed and watched over it since she learned about the ways of MeadowClan. Her seed would blossom into a beautiful flower of apprenticeship and make her smile as wide as the moon.

But when the seed sprouted out of the ground, she had only but mere seconds to admire its beauty.

Silent thunderstorms boomed overhead with cold fire spreading throughout the camp as Ashstar, MeadowClan's leader, waited for the applause before delivering the uncommon news of a missing cat. Mothpaw was forced to leave the flower and watch it wither and get trampled over by the paws of misfortune.

Despite being a fully grown kit, she felt the need to pad over to Echoflight and yearned to curl around and fall into a deep slumber. Her bold sister had gone to her new mentor, Frostlight, who bore a snow-white pelt. Beechpaw stood beside his mentor, Speckleflash, and kept stealing glances and looks at the two of them, hoping to see Echoflight stare warmly at him. Mothpaw hoped that Sparrowblaze didn't mind her quiet and insecure self and desire to stay by her mother.

"Runningpaw! Olivepaw! Beechpaw! Honeypaw! Mothpaw!" The Clan cheered like a small cluster of birds.

Her hopes sank to her stomach. The stories she heard from Echoflight how the Clan's cheer would spread through the camp and outside the territory, reaching the ears of even the cats of CinderClan. She expected a delicate and joyful song to swim into her ears freely and lift her spirits high enough to touch the clouds and see StarClan. If there was such thing as StarClan. Mothpaw couldn't help but let her ears droop to her head as the song of an old sparrow replaced her dream of a chorus of vibrant colored bird's singing and praising her.

Will my warrior ceremony be better than this? She thought, lifting her head and looked at the newly appointed warriors, Swiftbranch and Deerleaf. Mothpaw didn't know what the two felt. Swiftbranch from what she'd seen was always hyper and ready to learn the newest hunting or fighting technique while Deerleaf was the rebellious one who questioned everything and created new moves for things she didn't approve of. It didn't surprise her, Deerleaf was her kin, it seemed the older she-kit had passed her traits to Beechpaw and Honeypaw.

Then again, from the look on her brown face, she was just as disappointed with her ceremony as she was. Deerleaf cast a small glance at her father for any signs of other than sadness and sorrow for Firefleck's disappearance. Mothpaw cast a glance at Ripplestone who was sitting on the opposite side of them and didn't seem to care about his kits and their achievement. Her blue eyes carried back to Deerleaf as she turned her head away, taking in any appreciation from Swiftbranch or the rest of the Clan and ignoring her father sitting on his perch.

"Now," Ashstar started, looking down at the Clan. "Since both of our queens have left the nursery, we are in need of a few more queens. I have spoken with the newest queen already, and she has agreed to step down from her warrior duties and raise kits." His green eyes swept across the Clan until it met another pair of green eyes from the crowd. Cats shuffled around to see the new queen. To her surprise, Tigerfrost stood up, orange pelt blazing in the sun with her black stripes standing out.

Tigerfrost? she wondered, tipping her head. She's always been feisty and restless, I don't see her as a mother figure. Mothpaw worried that there might be a chance the she-cat was already expecting kits and it was only now that Ashstar decided to stop her reckless actions and order the she-cat to back down and retire to the nursery.

"I'll do my best," she promised, dipping her head and earning small cheers from the crowd around her. The golden pelt of Lionfur remained by her side and supported her, indicating he was the father to be. Mothpaw returned her gaze back up at Ashstar.

"I haven't heard of any other reports as to Swanflame or Sagefeather's condition and whether or not they're alive." Mothpaw saw Splashpelt's figure tense up at the sound of the cream she-cat. She sighed and wondered if there was any chance that Sagefeather ever had kits during the four moons she had been gone. Swanflame, nobody knew her whereabouts or if her litter of kits was still alive. "That leaves Cherryfern the only warrior left."

Speckleflash let out a sigh of relief and Beechpaw stared at her curiously. Echoflight had taught all of them that each she-cat in the Clan was supposed to give birth to a litter of kits at least once before they were to do it again. Mothpaw's siblings consisted of Beechpaw, Honeypaw, and Gorsekit for now. The thought of Echoflight back in the nursery with another litter of kits and new siblings made her happy and worry. The only exception was if a warrior was busy mentoring an apprentice, they would have to wait until they finished. Speckleflash had fallen into that category and was safe. Cherryfern, however, since she finished training Deerleaf, had to find a mate in the Clan and breed with them.

There wasn't a time limit how long they took, as long as they had a litter of kits was what made MeadowClan happy. Mothpaw dreaded the time where she would have to pick a mate from the group. She remembered one game where Honeypaw and her played a game and they fought over who would get Runningpaw. Now, it was a sick and cruel game and she regretted playing it.

"If MeadowClan can survive, I'm more than willing to do it over and over," Cherryfern stated firmly yet her paws shook.

If she can find a mate in time, maybe Tigerfang won't be lonely in the nursery. Mothpaw concluded.

"That is all I have to say," Ashstar turned around and began to climb down the highrock. Sleekfeather stretched and raced over and began to sort out the small patrols. Echoflight curled her tail around Mothpaw for support.

"You'll do fine, my little apprentice," she encouraged softly. Mothpaw smiled at her and padded off to Olivepaw who was by Lionfur. Tigerfang slunk off and headed toward the nursery. She cast a quick glance at her stomach and saw no difference.

At least she'll have time to prepare. The silver apprentice opened her jaws to speak with her friend.

"Mothpaw!" Sparrowblaze called. "Come on, we're going to do a small training group."

"Coming!" She answered and darted over, ignoring the look she got from Olivepaw. Honeypaw and Beechpaw had already begun to wrestle in the dirt, laughing and biting blindly at one another as Frostlight and Speckleflash watched them. Sparrowblaze sat beside them and waited for her.

"I know it's your first day as an apprentice and that fact that you're not four moons old yet..." Speckleflash and Frostlight both shot their heads up at the tabby and glared at him. "But that doesn't matter!" He corrected himself and the two warriors relaxed. "We'll go easy on you for the first two months and then pick up the pace from there."

"Why not go full out hard on us now?" Beechpaw challenged, swatting at Honeypaw's pelt. "That way, we can be prepared if CinderClan tries to invade or badgers come in!"

"Remember that you're still four moons old," Speckleflash commented. "I don't want to see you killed before you're even six moons."

"I'll be strong! I'm just really good to be made an apprentice at four moons!" Honeypaw reassured, puffing out her chest. Mothpaw smiled at her siblings and opened her mouth to say something when she caught something gleam from the corner of her eye.

Her gaze traveled over and made eye contact with Ripplestone. She froze and stared wide-eyed at him as she waited for him to come over and talk to her. Her father stared at her coldly with his dark blue eyes and said nothing. What felt like hours was only a few seconds of father and daughter waiting for the other to say something. Instead, Ripplestone turned away from her and entered the warrior's den and didn't come out.

"Ripplestone?" she whispered.

"Did you say something, Mothpaw?" Sparrowblaze asked, snapping her out of her mindless thoughts.

"N-no! I'm just a little tired, that's all!" She placed her paws in front of her and let a burst of energy flow through her. Sparrowblaze grinned and turned his back. The moment he did so, she let her head twist around to the warriors' den. No sign of her father's stone-gray pelt came into her view, only the mixed pelts of the other warriors that dotted the camp.

I hope... I can meet him one day...