Silence.

That was all Aditya had heard for the past few years and that was all he heard tonight as he lay awake, pin-straight with his mind full of the past, the present and a future without the woman he’d come to adore. Sleep evaded him while a dull sense of loneliness reared its head to torment him with all he’d lost and all he would soon lose. Each time he’d find his hand reaching for her, he’d yank it back and hold it as far away from her as it could get, the time had passed for him to search for comfort from her, this time he’d leave it down to her, if she wanted him she could have him and if not then, well then he would do the right thing and leave her be.

The very second the clock had struck midnight Zoya knew her husband had became another year older, with that came the realisation that although this was his first birthday they’d spend together it could also be the last. Even though he showed a form of maturity way beyond his years she couldn’t help but focus more so on the childlike fear in his eyes when he’d confessed a past of pain like he’d been guilty of a crime. She yearned to tell him this wasn’t his fault, that they could move forward together as long as he could explain how her past had been known by someone else, but now was not the time, she couldn’t help but wonder if there ever would be a right time or if each chance would feel more wrong than the last? Rolling onto her side, she wiggled her fingers “Happy Birthday”.

“Sorry” he shook his head to remove himself from his thoughts, “Was counting Zoya’s”.

“Counting Zoya’s?” She almost laughed, “Don’t you mean counting sheep?”

“Oh” he smiled, “No” sitting up a little more, he blew his hair from his forehead. “They always say think of something calming, so I uh” he pulled a face, voice more a whisper now than it ever had been before, “Thought of you”.

Her features crumpled like the many scars on her skin as she threw herself into the safety of his arms “I don’t want to leave you”. It had always been easier to be honest when it was dark, she couldn’t see him and that meant he couldn’t see her, therefore he would never realise just how vulnerable she really was when he was around. Scrunching his t-shirt in her hand, she dug her face into his neck and spoke words she knew she’d regret if he lost his temper again: “I thought I could never feel again, but no one has ever treated me like you do and when you say sorry you seem to mean it, no one ever says it and means it and I may be such a fool for believing in you, but I do” she looked up, nails tracing his jaw, “Believe in you, I believe in us, is that stupid?”

“If it is then I think we’re both the stupidest people in the world” tucking her hair from her face, he switched on the bedside lamp, unable to live another minute without seeing the woman who made him live again. Sitting up properly, he tugged her onto his lap “What I said earlier, I meant it” he held her still so she’d have nowhere else to look but at him “I’m falling for you, no one ever catches me, I hope you’ll be the first” he didn’t want to pressure her, but he also did because why else would a woman as good as her choose to catch him when she could run so far elsewhere that she could focus more on saving herself rather than saving him too?

“Can I give you your present?” It wasn’t much, but she hoped it would show him that she really meant it when she said she wanted to stay, perhaps one day in the future she’d be able to respond to what he’d said, but as that day wasn’t today, this would have to do.

Aditya clapped his hands together, face shuffling from left to right as he tried his best to peak at what she held behind her back, grabbing it eagerly he shook it by his ear then frowned “It doesn’t rattle”. Ripping it open, he shoved the paper away “Ooh a box, thank you” he went to hug her only for her to lift a hand and giggle.

“You have to open the box” Zoya rolled her lips, head shaking as his antics.

“Oh” blushing as he pushed the lid up, he swallowed harshly at the white gold ring, lifting it into his palm, he squinted at the inscription, his eyes wet as he looked back up at her “You have nothing to be sorry for, ever, Zoya” slipping it onto his ring finger, he held his arms out.

Rushing toward him, she held him to her tightly, her voice thick with emotion “I thought since we didn’t have a traditional marriage that this would show my sincerity about us and” she pulled back to show him the chain around her neck, “This is my ring, I was hoping you could put it on for me” unlatching the hook, she smiled shyly.

Kissing her finger, he slid it on “I have a million things to be sorry for” placing his lips on her hair, he shut his eyes, allowing the tears to fall atop her scalp, “But you will never be one of them, in spirit of that I pray that I will never have another thing to be sorry for when it comes to you”. The words on the jewellery was a request as well as a promise, she hoped he would never be guilty but either way she’d never see him as anything but innocent, their thing had become their very first vow, now he wouldn’t let her down again, he had something to uphold, a smile he promised never to turn into a frown.

“So you like it?” She blinked quickly, arms wound around his waist.

“Nope” he popped the p.

Dropping her head, she tried her best to hide the downtrodden expression covering her face, she shouldn’t have bothered, what made her think she could ever give him a gift worth being proud of she did not know. “Oh, well then I can-“.

“I love it” Aditya interrupted quickly, his hands cupping her face in an action of reassurance. “Now, as much as I long to spend all day looking at you, I need a shower” releasing her, he grabbed his clothes, threw his head over his shoulder and smirked, “Don’t come in unless you want to see me in my birthday suit”.

Her brow furrowed “You bought something specially? Well, won’t I see you in it later?” Zoya wasn’t going to pretend to understand why he seemed so worried about her seeing him in a new suit, but then again he often confused her.

His jaw dropped “You want to see me in it later?”

She nodded slowly “And Arjun and Noor will too”.

His eyes widened till they burnt “Huh? Arjun is my brother, we can’t” he shook his head, “I didn’t know you were into that kind of thing” her confidence had astounded him, sure she was full of surprises, but a foursome, really?

“Would you rather they didn’t come?” Reaching out to catch him as he stumbled, she placed her hands on his shoulders “Are you okay?”

“Yes” he squeaked, coughing to cover it up, he stepped away. “Zoya” he began, “This isn’t a family affair thing, it’s a you and me thing” gesturing between them, he looked around as if to ensure it was just them “Our first time should be just us, you know?”

“But wouldn’t they want to watch? Especially when you unwrap-“.

Cutting her off, he placed his hand over her mouth. He couldn’t bear to listen to anymore.

 She spoke against his hand, words garbled and muffled as they bound into his palm.

“Enough” Aditya begged, “Listen I, I don’t want to be disrespectful, but, but just us or not at all” he dropped his hand, hoping she understood why that was important to him and that he hadn’t somehow offended her.

“Well, okay” she shrugged, though still slightly unsure. “Maybe another time?”

At that, he slammed the door, leaning against it, he ran a hand over his face. Either he was going mad or his wife was just that out there.

 
So, so sorry I didn't update in a while, my nan was hospitalized again and then my uncle was in a car crash and this crap with Corona has put my nan at a major health risk as she got exposed and it's just all been sooooo much! I hope you are all well, safe and as happy as can be!

But anyway

Ain't she cute?