Special shout out to KudiAasmani because im so sorry for how late this is!

Zoya placed her shaking hands atop the bar of the balcony, her bare feet turning different shades of purple and blue as they sunk into the snow. The wind hit hard, brushing her black, silky dressing gown off her shoulders so it hung around her elbows allowing the cool air to creep across her skin. Though slightly indifferent to the cold, she still shivered beneath its icy grasp, but missing the sight of the outside world was not something she would ever punish herself with, for too long she’d been a prisoner of her own home, she didn’t want to return to that again.

Flapping the blanket out, he stepped up behind her, not missing how her back stiffened at his closeness. “Here,” he placed it over her shoulders, smoothing it out so it hugged her form “Do you not have any warm pyjamas?” He knew it was wrong to be so affected by what she wore, but it had been so long since he had seen a woman, it had been even longer since he’d seen a woman so beautiful.

Gripping the edge of the material, she shook her head.

“Would you like a jumper?”

Her breaths gathered in her throat, hitching and drowning her voice all at once. She shook her head again.

“Jesus, Zoya” his eyes dropped to her feet, then he was lifting her into his arms and rushing her toward the bath so he could douse them in something warm. “You could lose your toes” he fretted around her once he’d placed her down and switched on the tap to wash her feet.

Blinking through her tears, she watched him as he knelt in the tub, uncaring for how his trousers soaked in the water as he rubbed her feet between his palms and splashed water onto them. Holding the door handle to keep herself up straight, she hissed at the cold fleshing through her veins, eyes fluttering shut and her jaw clinching in an effort to avoid the icy blaze that was running up toward her knees. At a time like this, she wasn’t sure what to say or what to do, no one had ever tried to take care of her in this way, no one had ever worried for her at all, and if her ex ever even saw her feet he’d lash out at her disrespect. “You, you don’t have to do this” she tried to pull them away.

Aditya lifted his head “It’s okay” he soothed, “I want to” and that wasn’t a lie, his fingers had itched to touch her since the moment he’d set eyes on her, she was ethereal and her presence calmed something within him that had never been comforted before. Though she tried to fight it, he continued to pursue, his hand now rubbing soothing circles from her heel to the arch and back down again.

Pushing her body back a little, her foot flexed against his hand, a sigh escaping her ruby lips at the sensation she was slowly losing herself in. She was no fool, she knew this wouldn’t last, getting caught up in the good would only make it harder when the bad finally arrived, but she couldn’t help herself. Her hair dangled down her back, blanket scraping the floor as she moved around a little more, a yelp shook her front forward and her foot back.

The corner of his lips twitched “Ticklish?”

She shook her head “Mm-mm”.

Standing to his full height, he turned the water off and got out so he was stood behind her, swivelling her around, he placed the towel beneath her feet, rubbed them dry, then handed her a pair of fluffy socks “These will help”.

“Thank you” she whispered. “Why, why did you do all of this?”

“If you lost your feet I’d have to carry you everywhere” he held his back at the thought, “I’m not made out for it” he winked.

Right, of course, she knew this was coming. Her weight had always been a problem before and now it was again. Jumping up, she stood on her tiptoes, only to fall into his arms as a wave of dizziness hit her.

“Hey, you okay?”

His voice seemed to weave in and out around her, sometimes a screeching echo that buzzed in her ears, the other time it was like hearing him from beneath water as it plugged her eardrums.

A rough hand grabbed her jaw, fingers imprinting her cheeks so hard that it marred her gums “Here, you wanna eat, then eat” he screamed in her face, spit mixing into the cake that he jammed into her mouth till tears poured down her cheeks and she was choking on the crumbs. Throwing her head back, he cackled menacingly “If you loved me, you would think about me before you tried to sneak away cake that wasn’t for you, now” he mashed the cake on the plate with his fist, “You won’t eat until I say” he pinched her stomach, “Will do you good to lose some weight”.

Placing her on the bed, Aditya tapped her cheek “Zoya? Zoya, can you hear me?” His hands gripped her arms as they swung up to smack her face, pushing them into the bed with one arm, he held her face straight “Hey, hey, Zoya, hey”.

Sucking in a large breath, her back rose from the bed only to smack back onto the mattress, the whites of her eyes rolled downwards till they returned to their normal colour, sweat dripped down her neck, coating her skin in a beady glow. “What, what happened?” She tried to sit up but faltered back into his hold.

“You passed out” his hand was on her forehead, “You’re warm, but not hot, when did you last eat?”

Her head wobbled “I’m, I’m not hungry” freeing herself from him, she shuffled back, hand running down her face.

“That isn’t what I asked, Zoya” he admonished. It was impossible to ignore the fear in her eyes, it held him in a stare that stayed with him even after she’d looked away, it was written in her actions, painted over her expressions like remnants of an exploded bomb.

“I can’t remember” she dropped her head, “I just want to sleep, please” she led beneath the blanket, curled up as far to the edge as she could make it without falling, her hand crumpled the duvet in her palm when she felt the bed creak as he to got in the other side. Scrunching her eyes tight, she held her breath as the warmth from his body began to prick her skin.

Tapping the light off, he sighed, arms crossed over his waist as he led silently, her muffled sobs climbing to his ears ensuring he wouldn’t sleep well tonight. “About a year and a half ago, I was out on a walk, the snow was to my knees and my ankle bashed into a rock” he fell silent when her sobs did, he wasn’t sure why he was telling her this, he just hoped it would distract her from whatever it was going on in her head. “I fell down a mountain, right into the woods and had my leg trapped in a bear trap, I led there for hours, so still and so weak” he gulped past the pain, it was still hard to talk about, even now, but now he had someone to share it with. “I thought my life was up”.

Turning to face him, she leant on her elbow, eyes wide with interest “How did you get out?”

He smiled, happy that she at least wanted to involve herself in this conversation, she was quiet by nature, haunted by things he was too scared to ask about, but still yearned to know. “I never gave up” he turned to face her, mimicking her position. “Sometimes in life we are trapped by things made for bigger animals, what we go through isn’t always meant for us, the only way we can ever find out what fate has in store is if we keep trying”.

The husky baritone of his voice washed over her, lulling her into an unconscious state as her body gave up the fight to stay stiff and awake in case he too took her body as his and not her own.

+++

Zoya awoke to a tray on her side, a white rose in a jug and some sugar, a mug and a little pot of milk and hot water. Thumbing the rose, she picked it up, stroking the petals against her skin as she did.

Oatie fell at her feet, tail wagging with excitement at the prospect of food.

Ever so carefully, she held her hand out, giggling when he nuzzled it, wet nose digging into her palm and his tongue running over her fingers.

Leaning against the wall, Aditya crossed his arms, a warm smile on his lips “He likes you”.

She jumped, dragging her hand back “Sorry, sorry” then the tray tipped, water and milk staining the bed and her side.

He was before her the next second, arm tight around her wrist “UP” he shouted gruffly, swinging her behind him as he did.

Falling against the wall, she ignored the sensation of Oatie lying over her feet to comfort her as she pushed her heels against the floor, arms shaking as they covered her tear streaked face. “Please, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to” she yelped when his hand reached out, her breaths panicky when it stopped on her waist. Sucking her stomach in, she shook her head “I, please, please don’t” she pled, sobs now rattling her body.

Gripping snow in his hand from the outer window, he held it against the red skin on her side “It’s okay, just a slight burn” he chuckled “Covers needed a wash anyway, you just gave me a reason not to be lazy”. Lines drew across his forehead “Hey, it’s okay, does it really hurt that bad?”

Her brows knitted “No, I, I thought” she exhaled, relaxing just a little.

“You thought I was going to be angry” he nodded as if understanding, but how could he possibly? He wasn’t her and he hadn’t been through it himself. “Never” he vowed.

A voice surged through her head at his one very meaningful word “Never say never, wifey”.