I was going insane. 

I had never been through so much agony before. 

I was 99.9% sure that I would be staying. Okay, I was actually more like 100% sure that Harry would choose me. This time around, at least.

But how long before he became infatuated with someone like Ariana? He had already kissed her, and she was truly adorable. Or Victoria - she was a lot taller than me and glamorous as well. Or maybe Brittany - she was horny as fuck, but maybe Harry liked that in a woman. I mean the man did have a reputation for sleeping around.

I had never felt so insecure before, or so jealous. Well, maybe that one time high school when one of my friends and I had a crush on the same guy and he paid attention to her instead of me. But I'd never felt anything as intense as this feeling. I was already starting to fall head over heels for Harry but these women were my friends. I didn't want them to get hurt. 

Damn this was so confusing. Why did I let Allegra talk me into this? As much as Harry and I connected, it didn't mean I was the one he would choose in the end.

I put on a t-shirt and some yoga pants and went downstairs for my first cup of coffee. It was quiet - everyone must have been wiped out from frolicking at the adventure park. But tonight was the Candle Ceremony, and I was sure when everyone woke up, things would be tense. Harry was going to send four people home and I already felt bad for them. 

I finished my coffee, ate a protein bar, and then I went to get my running shoes from my room. I needed a high intensity, heart-racing workout to relieve some of my anxiety. I decided to run on the road instead of up the hill behind the mansion, as I had done in the past. And strangely enough, I had escaped any camera man's notice, so I was free for the next twenty minutes. I took off at top speed, thinking I would slow down gradually. I just had so much negative energy built up and I wanted to get rid of it quickly. I had been running at a good pace for about ten minutes and then I broke into a sprint for a bit, visualizing all of the WMEB drama being left behind as I ran away. Finally, I slowed into a jog, and then a walk as I neared the end of my endurance. I was just about to reach the driveway when I saw Harry break into a run, heading straight towards me. I stood there with a smirk on my face until he looked up at me.

He stopped dead in his tracks and smiled back. "Hey," he said, coming closer. He reached out his arms to hug me but I warned him, "I'm all sweaty." 

"I don't care," he replied and squeezed me to himself. I relaxed and let my arms return the hug, enjoying the feeling of his strong body pressed against mine. 

He let go shortly, and glanced back at the driveway, determining whether anyone could see us from the house. Then he swooped down and gave me what I would call another earth-shattering kiss. "I'm not supposed to say anything," he breathed after breaking away. "But I want you to know you have nothing to worry about for tonight." 

I smiled in relief. "Thanks. I needed to hear that. I just don't know how I'm going to get through this entire process without falling apart. It's only the end of the first week, and I feel like I'm going insane."

He looked duly concerned when he said, "I know, I know. I hate playing with women's hearts, but it seems like this is what it's turning out to be. I didn't really think it through before I agreed to do the show. But now I guess I have to do damage control and hope everything turns out all right."

"I really like you, Harry. And that's saying a lot for someone who used to be adamantly against romance and especially celebrities."

He cocked his head in question.

"I've only ever seen a handful of celebrity marriages that last. They seem too transient, too vulnerable or something. Yet, here I am falling for one of the biggest celebrities in the world, doing more romantic things than I've ever done in a lifetime." I closed my eyes, trying to shut out the confusion that still lingered.

"You're forgetting something," he said, cupping my face in his hands. "Being a celebrity is just part of my job. But the real me - the real Harry - is just an ordinary guy looking for true love. And when I find it, I'm never letting it go. You have my word on that."

"Thanks, Harry," I said, stretching up to kiss him. "I should go - I don't want anyone to catch us together out here. By the way, how did you manage to get away without your camera crew on your tail?" 

"I sneaked out," he said shrugging. "A very useful skill that I learned when I was younger and we had chaperones when we traveled."

"I sneaked out, too," I laughed. "I'll see you later."

"You too," he said, leaning just enought to kiss the top of my head. "Ugh, you are sweaty," he teased. 

I laughed and said, "Told ya!" Then I resumed my cool down walk up to the house. 

As I suspected, tensions were high in anticipation of tonight's ceremony. Dove, Sara, and a few others were at the height of bitchiness, others seemed moody and quiet, and I even noticed a few tears here and there. I was thankful that I had some peace of mind from Harry, but I knew very well it could be me, wondering if I was going to stay, the next time around. 

Of course, the cameras fed on the atmosphere.

No one ate much for dinner, but true to form, the alcohol had been flowing freely since lunch time, so many women availed of it to settle their nerves. I tried my best to calm Ariana and Brittany as we got ready. I told a few jokes to get us all laughing. We all helped each other put the finishing touches on our hair, makeup and nails for the evening. At that point, it probably didn't matter since Harry had probably made his decisions by then, but it didn't hurt to look good for the cameras, I guess. 

The evening started with lots of glitter and sparkles, lots of alcohol, and lots of anxiety. Once again, the cameras were lured to the drama like sharks to blood. There had already been so many of my own moments that had been caught on camera that I hoped to god they wouldn't use for the actual show. My only consolations were that they would probably only end up using ten percent of what they actually shot, and that my antics thus far hadn't been nearly as bizarre as some of the other womens' behaviors. 

I was shocked at the amount of alcohol that some women were consuming, not only tonight, but routinely since we'd been here. I wondered if anyone went home after a show like this and turned into a full-fledged alcoholic. I also wondered how no one had dropped dead from liver disease yet. The booze bills for the show must have been astronomical. 

Jamie at it once again, being the quintessential party animal. She was likable and funny, but I wondered if she ever showed anyone her real self. Being the life of the party only went so far. For the first time, I found my own thoughts battling one another - I sincerely hoped that Harry would get to know the real Jamie, but at the same time, I hoped she wouldn't open up to him so that they wouldn't connect and he would eventually send her home. I felt like such a bitch for thinking that way, but I couldn't help it. I wanted all of the "competition" to be eliminated so that I would end up with Harry,  but I also wanted my friends to be happy. 

This show was teaching me to be a two-faced bitch.

That's healthy, I thought to myself sarcastically.

It wasn't long before Ben called us together. "Good evening, ladies. How was your week?" There were a lot of excited responses, all indicating that we'd had a great time. But then he asked, "Are you all ready for tonight?" And the room was silent with the exception of a few mumbles. Ben finally turned to Harry and said, "Whenever you're ready." 

Staff members silently handed our candles to each of us while Harry took center stage.

Harry began, "I had no idea it would be this difficult to make these decisions. I had a fantastic time with each and every one of you this week." He looked at me for a lingering moment and hinted at a smile. "And I would love for all of you to stay, but we all know that isn't possible. So if you leave tonight, please know that you are still very special to me, and I would love for you to keep in touch."

Harry took deep breath, blew it out slowly and then finally started. 

"Ariana," he said with a smile in his eyes.

She excitedly stepped forward and he spoke, "Will you stay?" 

She would be a fool to say no. "Of course," she said, and even though I couldn't see her face, I could tell she was grinning from ear to ear.

He proceeded, asking each woman if they would stay after he called their names.

"Bianca."

"Demi."

"Gemma."

"Keke."

"Harper." 

My heart flooded with relief even though he had assured me that I had nothing to worry about. When I stood before him and he asked if I would stay, I replied, "You know I will." And he smiled that little knowing smile. 

"Victoria." 

"Dove." 

Seriously? That was a huge surprise to me as it seemed to be with the others as well. But I could tell that she was extremely relieved. Maybe Harry felt that he was breaking through some of her difficult exterior.

"Jordin."

"Sara."

"Shailene."

"Jamie."

"Brittany." 

Ben stepped in at that moment to remind everyone that there was only one name left to call, and only one candle holder left. I could practically feel the weight of anxiety in the room at the moment, mixed with the relief of those who had already been chosen.

Finally, Harry said, "Lucy." 

Ben stepped forward again and instructed the last four women to say their good-byes and then pack their things to go home. I could see on Harry's face that he was upset. It touched my heart that he was having difficulty with this, because that meant he was taking it very seriously and he was connecting with everyone here. 

Those of us who were staying said good-bye to the women who were leaving. Oluchi ignored me, but I was able to hug Bella, Allison, and Elena good-bye.

Harry bounced back a little more quickly than after the last candle ceremony, so he spent time with all of us after the other women had left, just relaxing and talking together.

RECAP of Eliminated Contestants:

Allison
Bella
Elena
Oluchi

And here are the Remaining Contestants, just to refresh your memory:

Ariana
Bianca
Brittany
Demi
Dove
Gemma
Harper
Jamie
Jordin
Lucy
Keke
Sara
Shailene
Victoria

14 women left! 

_____

Were you surprised at any of the eliminations? Or at anyone who stayed? I'm excited to start the second full week of the competition. And that was only the first week! In order to cover a full week, I think I'll be writing 5-7 chapters to cover each week. Just an FYI. 

Thanks for reading and pushing the story up to 14K reads!!! :D