Capricorn & Taurus:

Capricorn: It's unhealthy to eat after 7 pm

Taurus: *eating a cake at 3 AM* Well, unfortunately, time is an illusion

*

Pisces & Leo:

Pisces: You're probably one of those beautiful people who doesn't even know it

Leo: No, I know it

*

Taurus & Sagittarius:

Taurus: So, what it's like dating Capricorn...?

Sagittarius: Once I asked him for water when he was pissed at me, then he brought me a glass of ice and said "wait"

*

Sagittarius & Leo:

Sagittarius: *sneezes*

Leo: ...

Sagittarius: Aren't you gonna say bless you?

Leo: I'm sitting here with you, you've clearly already been blessed

*

Capricorn & Scorpio:

Capricorn: Success is the best revenge

Scorpio: Bullshit. Revenge is the best revenge

*

Cancer on the phone:

Cancer: Everyone shut up *answers the phone* Hey dad—

Libra: HIIIIIIIII

Scorpio: Come back to the bed!!

Aries: *various sex noises*

Taurus: Tell him I said "hi"

Aquarius: Ay! Pass the weed!!

Gemini: *blasting out curse words*

Virgo: PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON!

* * *