Shattered..... ?

The soul signed.

No, the given devastation seems more that that.

Broken..... ?

The heart thought.

No, the given pain is more than what it seemn.

Then what..... ?

She even thought. Her dried yet not stopped tears were too begging the reason of it's continuous flow.

......Maybe because, same place again, same situation again, same condition again, but what different is, this time she is onto it, unlike to last time which his husband created.

"Husband....?" She painfully chuckled at her thought.

Preeta examined her condition, but the only difference she make out in her condition is - her acceptance.

She was on the verge of accepting her husband last time, and this time she is on the verge of dejecting him.

Broken, shattered, pain, regret, everything at the same time.
Just like last time.

Like last time, like last time, and like last time......... Why her condition is like last time because of him, but not her relation anymore like last time with him ?

Preeta painfully dropped her hand on land beneath her, but again the same one like last time.

On the same place again, where he left her wife midnight on their wedding night. But this time she is the one to engulf the place. Because maybe previous memories haunts help her to relieve the new and fresh reward from her husband.

But as expected, all in vain. All mixed up and slaughtered her.

How much one can sob, can cry, can tolerate ? Isn't she a human.
But she is helpless, helpless infront of her own husband, her own best friend.

At last her crying stopped, she sniffed and sighed.

Preeta : (painfully) you are dead for me karan, usi tarah jis tarah mai kabhi nahi jee sakti.

Khwaabo see zyaada...
Aansuon se, dosti..... Kar baithe.

Her eyes again dwelled up, she was now tired with this tears, but the pain isn't letting it go.

She wanted to scream, she wanted to cry, she wanted to hug someone until her soul melts into the peace. But her hidden emotions was a little more breaking her.

And the only thought occupied her mind "Better to die before meeting this person."

Jeene ki khwaahish me....
Lamha lamha...... Mar baithe.

Her mind uttered the same line again and again, and more her heart is falling in hate with him.

More hate was growing inside her. Yes, it was right she hates him, she hates him so much, she hates him beyond life, and she hates him beyond words.
But the corrections behind every 'hate' is hurt.

He hurt her, he hurt her so much, he hurt her beyond life, and he hurt her beyond words.

"I hate you karan luthra...." "I hate you so much." Her weak mouth mumbled crashing against her wrenched heart.

Suddenly her phone rang stopping her words, she knew who it was, so she picked it.

Karan : (on call smirking) hello preeta arora.... oops, I mean so called preeta karan luthra. Aai nahi apne pati ki haldi me, come on fast babydoll, I am waiting for you. It's already getting late.

And she cut the call.

His words sprinkled spice on her wounds. Cracks on the ashes of her heart.

Karan's smirked turned into anger for her. He dialed another number.

Karan : (on call) hello sameer, ha uske peeche peeche hi reh. Yes, I am seeing her. Dhyaan rahe pichli baar jaisi koi galti nahi ho.

Sameer : ha karan bhai, pichli baar jaisa kuch nahi hoga mai pura dhyaan rakh raha hu. Lekin bhai, preeta waapis isi jagah par kyu aa gai ? Use to nafrat honi chaahiye, kyunki aapne use shaadi ki raat yaha chod diya tha fir bhi.

Karan : nafrat to hai, lekin apni nai nafrat ko mitaane gai hai, uski rag rag se waakif hu mai. Wo chod, tu uska acche se dhyaan rakh, aur wo haha sahi salamat aani chaahiye meri aur mahira ki haldi aur shaadi dekhne.

Sameer : agar itna hi rag se waakif hote to aaj wo is jagah par nahi hoti, aur pichli baar bhi acche se hi dhyaan rakha tha isiliye aaj is jagah par hai woh.

And passing the bitter taunt, sameer cut the call.

Karan felt like worse than stabbing a knife.

What ached him more was, sameer was having tears in his eyes, and he himself is standing like a stone hearted person.

His eyes turned red with mixed emotions in him. Anger and hate for preeta, guilt on himself, upset due to sudden change in his and sameer's relation.

He so wanted to just punch his hand on wall to let his frustration.

"Aapki wajah se karan bhai, sirf aapki wajah se us prithvi be preeta ko haath lagane ki himmat ki. Agar khuski hi Shaadi ke raat aap use chodkar nahi jaate, to wo prithvi ki himmat bhi nahi hoti preeta ki taraf nazar uthaakar dekhne ki bhi."

Karan was not able to take the sudden truth came infront of him.

"Aur ye to chodo, agar mai nahi gaya hota to pata nahi nashe ki haalat me kya kar chuka hota preeta ke saath wo. Lekin aapko to Bhai koi pachtaava hi nahi ho Raha hoga na, hoga bhi kyu. Shaayad agar uske saath waisa kuch ho Gaya hota to aap zyaada khush hue hote. Aapke Dil ko sukoon Jo milta use barbaad dekhkar."

Karan just stared with expressionless eyes at sameer's sudden outburst. But his looks didn't affected him. Sameer continued his rain of anger.

Sameer : ye jo aapki wajah se hua hai na Bhai, uske liye mai kabhi aapko maaf nahi karunga. Us raat se mujhe aap par gussa hai, but aapko khudko pata chalne ka intezaar Kar Raha tha mai. And you know what bhai, accha hi hai jo preeta aapke saath nahi rehti.

Karan's mind caught attention. His expressions changed now.

Karan : (slowly) kyaa ?

Sameer : haa, sahi hi keh raha hu, actually me na, aap use deserve hi nahi karte. Accha hai, aap us mahira se hi shaadi kariye, pata nahi agar preeta aapke saath hoti to kitni aur sazayein bhugatni padti use, begunah hokar wo bhi.

And, not even waiting for his answer, sameer lashed out from there, leaving a repenting one behind.

Karan closed his eyes and fist his hand tightly.

"Aahhhhhh....." The scream stopped him from punching.

He found preeta standing with fa e cover in fear as soon he was about to hit on wall.

He took back his hand. Slowly preeta removed palm from face, and saw him.

Karan clearly make out the real condition behind her fake appearance, but now she is having slight tears in her eyes.

Karan so badly wanted to wipe her tears with his own hands, but his ego don't let him to do so.

She wiped her tears, because she had understood from so long "I was crying for someone who left me in tears, but now I realized I don't need anyone because I am having my own two hands."

Preeta took away her eyes from him. And her this gesture hurt him, hurt him so much.

He never hold the pain of being taken eyes from a girl, with whom he dreamt to have a forever eyelock.

Karan too look at another direction not holding the pain.

Preeta just took a step, and she saw mahira coming from another direction. Her steps stopped. Karan noticed her, and turned.

Mahira's eyes glowed, her face immediately held a winning smirk seeing preeta. She find better to ignore her, and went towards karan.

Mahira : (holding his hand) karan Chalo na, haldi shuru hone waali hai, tum yaha kya kar rahe ho. Warna aise waise logo ki wajah se hamari itni important haldi kharab ho jaayegi karan.

Preeta closed her eyes. She was unable to take the taunt. She wrench her dupatta in her tight fist, with her nails hurting her palm. She tighten the grip more amd more and more.

Obviously it doesn't go unnoticed by karan, but preeta didn't even turn her face towards him.

Karan : tum chalo mahira mai aaya ek important call karke.

Mahira smiled at him. Karan took out his phone. Mahira went inside because karan signed her.

And immediately, preeta ran from there outside. Karan remained shock. He got panicked for a moment.

Outside, preeta ran from there cryingly.

Preeta : (crying) I can't take this anymore, mujhse nahi hoga aur.

And she kept on running.

Karan immediately dialed sameer's number.

Karan : (tensed) hello sameer, preeta ko dekha Bahar jaate hue tune ? Wo kaha gai tujhe pata hai ?

Sameer was too equally panicked seeing her running, so her too ran behind her.

Sameer : ha bhai maine dekha, wo shayad is cliff pe jaa rahi hai. Mai usi ke piche hu.

Karan : nahi sameer, rehne de. Tu waapis aa ghar, mai jaa raha hu.

Sameer : lekin karan Bhai.....

Karan disconnected the call.

Sameer : call cut kar diya, shaayad mujhe jaana chaahiye. Hope karan bhai is baar sambhaal le preeta ko. Warna mujhe to pata chalega hi is baar bhi kuch hua to. (Sighed) hey bhagwaan is baar to Bhai ki aankhon se jhoothi patti hata do bas.

Sameer sighed in disappointment and went back towards luthra house.

Other side, Karan was driving as fast as her can. And only preeta's thought was worrying him.

"Preeta : you know karan, bachpan se aisi jagah mujhe bohot pasand rahi hai. Acche mood me cheer up karti hai, aur bure mood me help.

Karan : help ? Wo kaise ?

Preeta : wo aise ki, itni quiet place hai. Yaa to positivity se jeene ka hope degi, ya fir life end karne encourage karegi.

Karan widened his eyes.

Karan : life end karne ka, are you out of your mind or what preeta. Tum kabhi aisa sochogi bhi, maine ye expect nahi Kiya tha tumse.

Preeta : offo karan, zaroori nahi hai hamesha insaan aur qakt ek hi jaisa ho. Koi koi situation aisi hoti hai. I had tried once, bohot pehle. Us wakt jaiss life me kuch aur bacha hi nahi tha. And that time, ek aisi jagah mujhe life end karne itna inspire ki thi, mai bohot influence ho gai thi. But ek thought, ek chota sa thought srishti ka. Uski wajah se maine apna kadam piche le liya.

Karan : (worriedly) what the hell preeta, tum aise kaise soch sakti ho. Tum na abhi ke abhi mujhse promise karo ki aaj ke baad aisa kabhi kucb dimaag me nahi laaogi.

Preeta look at him and smiled.

Preeta : no need karan. Ab meri life me tum, mere best friend jo ho. Tumhaare hote hue kabhi aisi situation hi nahi aayegi jisme mujhe zindagi aur maut ko chunne par majboor hona pade.

Karan's worried vanished and he smiled seeing her.

But her thoughts was disturbing karan's mind so much. He was so scared now, that he just forgot everything except her.

Karan : (tearfully) god please preeta ko safe karna. Please...

And, once again she is proved wrong. Just like everytime, her hopes crushed and she remained like a use and throw paper.

The rash drives car stopped from a distance, but she remained unaffected in her own world.

Karan came out from car amd saw her standing at the edge of the cliff having deep height. He was so shocked and surprised.

Karan immediately ran to her.

Karan : (breathing heavily) preeta...

Preeta didn't turned.

Preeta : marne nahi aayi hu.

Karan felt her anger rising. He went to her and turned her harshly from elbow.

Preeta came face to face from her. Her teary face locked his words inside his mouth only.

The situation has got them in a situation where once both was reason to live for each other, and today are the reason to hate each other.

"Maybe it is really situations fault.." preeta's heart thought seeing his one-time care.

"No, he has always been a two sided coin, trust at once, betraying at another." Her mind made her understood.

But not wanting the battle between heart and mind again, preeta softly loosened his grip from her hand, and turned again.

Karan again grabbed her hand.

Karan : preeta yaha se chalo.

Preeta not saying anything, took her hand back.

Karan was loosing his patience now.

Karan : (greeting teeth) preeta I said yaha se chalo (shouts) samajh me nahi aa Raha hai Kya tumhe.

Preeta too immediately turned and replied him in same tone.

Preeta : (shouts) Kyu chalu ha, Kyu chalu. Aur hote kaun ho tum mujhe bolne waale. Tumhe kya fark padta hai mai kahi bhi jaaun kuch bhi karu. Aur koi pagalpan ke dohre nahi pade hai mujhe jo marne aa jaaun. Waise bhi ek baar mara hua insaan kitni baar marega. Mujhe koi jagah par jaakar aoni zindagi khatam karne ki zaroorat hai hi nahi. Tumne to already mujhe maar chuke ho. Pata nahi naam ki saanse chodkar kispar ehsaan kar gaye ho.

She stopped. He finally witnessed her outburst. A brief silence prevailed between them.

Tears formed in preeta's eyes. While both were s gazing in each other's eyes reflecting all the pain not expressed yet.

Ab naa dil ko kisi ki aadat ho,
Ab naa phir se kabhi mohabbat ho....

Karan : (grabbing her shoulder) ho gaya tumhaara, ab chalo yaha se.

Preeta jerked his hand.

Preeta : (tearfully) nahi chalungi, nahi chalungi mai kahi bhi. Meri jo marzi hoga wo karungi, lekin tumhaari baat nahi sunungi.

Karan : preeta kyu zidd kar rahi ho tum. Meri baat suno chup chaap, aur chalo yaha se.

Preeta : nahi sunungi kaha na, to nahi sunungi. Karan for god sakes, jaao yaha se, kam se kam sukoon se dard to bardasht kar lene do.

Karan : tumhaare ye dard ki wajah bhi tum hi ho.

Preeta : haa, har chiz ki wajah sirf aur sirf mai hu, bas. Yahi sunna chaahte the na tum. Ab jaao yaha se mujhe akela rehne do, mujhe sukoon se rehne do, Khushi to tumne chin hi li na saari. Mujhe tumhaari shakl bhi nahi dekhni, please jaa yaha se.

Karan felt her heart peirced listening it. He had never expected such words from her mouth. At last tears fell from her eyes, which equally hurted preeta.

Karan : (hurtfully) to ab tumhe mere chehre se bhi nafrat ho gai hai.

Preeta : (tearfully) mujhe tumhaare chehre se, tumhaare ehsaas se, tumhaare wajood se, tumhaari har chiz se nafrat ho gai hai. Suna tumne. Bar ek chiz se jisse tum jude ho.

Karan was literally taken aback, he just took his step back.

Karan : itni hi nafrat thi to mujhse judi kyu kabhi.

Preeta : mai nahi judi kabhi, Meri naseeb ne judaaya tumse mujhe.

Karan : ha thik hai, naseeb hi to hai sab, tumhe to kal mere jaane se, mere marne se, kisi chiz se fark nahi padega na.

Preeta : Kal kyu, aaj hi jaao na, jo karna hai aaj hi karo. Bas meri zindagi se chale jaao.

Itni bhi khwaahish naa rahi,
Kisi se chahat ho....

Karan : (tearfully) haa ekdam, yahi sila hai na hamare rishte ka. Yahi anjaam hai hamari dosti ka. Hai naa.

Preeta : (broken) jiske bichme rishta hota hai, ya dosti hoti hai wo shaadi ki raat bichme nahi chod deta hai, akele wo bhi.....

Karan become alert, something strikes his mind.

He hold her through shoulders.

Karan : (with rage) tumne bataya kyu nahi shaadi ki raat prithvi ne tumhaare saath zabardasti ki thi.

Preeta got shocked. How he come to know about it, she never wanted him to knew it. She remained silent.

Karan : (shaking her) bolo kyu nahi bataya, uski himmat kaise Hui tumhe haath lagane ki.

Preeta come back to her sense. She removed his hands from her shoulder.

Preeta : mai kya batati, tumhe sochna chaahiye tha mujhe udhar aadhi raat ko akela chodne se pehle, wo to sirf prithvi tha, agar udhar........ (With tears) udhar uski jagah koi aur hota, ya zyaada log hote, ya us wakt sameer nahi aata to.

Karan this time melted in her tears. And why he won't ? His hate and all allegations are nothing infront if her. But he only realizes when it actually either comes through any danger, or in her self respect.

Karan slowly cupped her face.

Karan : (tearfully) lekin mujhe kyu nahi bataya, agar wo firse aisa kuch karta to, ya tumhe kuch ho jaata to.

Preeta stepped back.

Preeta : tumhe kuch fark nahi padta. Tum to hamesha chaahte hi ho mai chali jaau tumhaari zindagi se. Tum khush hote, tumhe koi fark nahi padta.

Teri mujhko naa ab zaroorat ho,
Dardon ke saaye mein...
Milti ab raahat hai....

Karan couldn't take fake lines, because he really cares for her. But the useless point is, why don't he only. understood

Karan pulled her closer, so closer that both's breath mingled.
A breeze passed in the silence from the teared occupied, pain holding face.

Karan : padta hai, tumhaari har cheez se fark padta hai. Tumse ki gai har nafrat se bhi fark padta hai. Tumse zyaada wo mujhe chubti hai, yaha (points on heart) yaha par lagti hai ekdam.

Preeta : (sniffed) to.... to fir kyu chod diya waha, pata hai wo prithvi kitna bura hai. Ye jaante hue bhi chod diya. Mai kitna cheekhi, kitna chillai, tumse kitni request ki, lekin tumne meri ek bhi nahi suni. Tumhaare dhokhe se toot ti rahi, akele dar se kaanpti rahi, lekin fir bhi tumne meri ek bhi nahi suni. Kyu tumne mujhpar bharosa nahi kiya, tumne mujhe kabhi kyu itna layak nahi samjha ki mujhpar bharosa kar sako.

His heart shivered from the thoughts of what could have happen that night in his absence and that too all because of him.

Karan joined his forehead with hers, and closed his eyes.

Karan : (painfully) shayad hamari kismat me dukh likha tha, shayad kismat me hamara saath nahi tha.

Preeta made herself separate from him.

Preeta : hamari kismat ne nahi, tumne dukh likha, hamari kismat ne nahi, tumne hamara saath alag kiya.

Karan stared her for a second.

Karan : kya hamara saath waapis jud sakta hai ?

Preeta : maybe today.

And, you are expecting a broken glass further ashed, to be an original again.

Preeta : or maybe never.

Karan saw her painfully. While, she too was helpless.

Preeta : (with tears) tum kaanch todoge, to uske toote tukde tumhe chubhenge, lekin use waapis jodoge, to uske tukde katra katra tumhe hi tod denge.

Karan : (unshed tears) usi tuti hui kaanch ko kya mai apne paas nahi rakh sakta, bhale katra katra, uske paas to rahunga mai.

Preeta chuckled in tears.

Preeta : nahi, uske paas to rahoge, lekin dard ke alaawa kuch aur nahi paaoge tum. Waise hi bohot dard diya hai karan tumne mujhe, tumhaare saath rehkar tumhaari zindagi kharab karne ka dard bhi mujhpar mat daalo. Mai sachme itna nahi seh paaungi. Please karan.....

Karan : please.... Kya wo dard badal nahi sakta, kya kabhi us dard ki jagah khushi aa sakti hai ?

Preeta : maybe today or maybe never. If not today, then never, and it can never be today.

Karan scoffed, and with each hiccups, he took her step back. While the number of tears increased in preeta's eyes, turning into uncountable.

Karan : I'll wait for you, for today, and for ever. I'll hope for this wait to get over.

Preeta : it will get over maybe today or never.

Taking steps back, karan just ran to his car. And on her place, Preeta broke down on floor.

Karan too was equally broken.

He never trusted her, and tody he lost her maybe for ever. He is repenting but not alone, along with her.

And here what is her mistake in all ? Only to think and done good for his best friend.

Not necessary to trust Everytime, you can even support with your silence instead of increasing the burden of allegations. But what really matters is your efforts.

They can be together but maybe today or maybe never. After the breaking pain, not possible today, so it can never.

********************************

Finally done with it.
Surprisingly 3.3k words. Longest ever work of mine.🙂♥️

Hope it/I managed to touch you.
🙂✌🏻

BTW, many many happy returns of the day dear sister, my sole partner, one of sooo important person.✌🏻😙

I know I am so late, but..... Leave it.....
Many many happy returns of the day, stay happy and blessed dear. You were always an amazing and Soo cute and innocent person. And indeed a sweet sister.
Be as it is.
Happy birthday anjy Anji_2006😙😘❤️